How would you convince a loved one to write a will? Especially, knowing you will have to deal with figuring out the estate and funeral arrangements with people who could likely cause issues. Not necessarily anything huge but just stubbornness and selfishness. When asked why the person doesn't have a will and doesn't plan on writing one their response is, 'because I don't have anything anyway.' Which isn't true because the person does own a property and even though it has a mortgage their is certainly equity in it and will be more when they pass away. We're hoping we don't have to do much convincing once they get done dealing with the estate of their loved one who passed without a will. But we'd like to be prepared for future talks about it.

That's funny because we grew our own pumpkins too. I spread the seeds, buried them a bit, and watered them once. Then I forgot about them. We have 4 great pumpkins and possibly more smaller ones, I haven't been out to check

Dh and I have a costume party in 2 weeks. We're going as Ash and Evil Sheila from Army of Darkness. We'll also go as them while walking around with kids on actual Halloween. The kids costumes are coming along nicely. Everything for them has come from what we have, the dollar store, and goodwill. October is likely to be a very little spend month. And if we do spend on non bills it'll be Christmas present shopping. We started talking about that last night but don't have a good idea of what everyone will get. I'm trying to convince the kids to ask for an excursion while we're in puerto Rico but they all like opening gifts on Christmas morning, which I get

I've had 2 roombas since 2019 and both worked really well until they didn't. Thankfully one crapped out before the 1 year warranty. The other was just after so I have decided I'm done trying with those damn things

hugs!

We save for a bunch of things. Retirement is our biggest savings, which is 15% with an additional 6% dh's employer contributes. Next is saving up for a new roof or deck. These aren't things we want to replace but the reality is they will need to be replaced within the next 10 years most likely so we're saving now. Saving up for a replacement car is another thing we do regularly. Currently, we aren't saving for anything fun because we are in the process of spending our big fun savings for a January family trip to Puerto Rico. After that, we'll start saving again for the next big family trip which will likely be in 2 years. Not sure where we'd want to go.

Dh started his 2 classes for this semester earlier this week. His employer is paying the school directly. All we have to deal with is figuring out reimbursement of the textbook. Other than that, Sept has been a pretty frugal month

I've never found freezer meals to be very helpful for me. The food is never as good. Meal planning and prepping for the week has always worked better for me. This I do. Every Sunday, dh and I cut up veggies and section them out so we can just dump them and saute them. They are most often used for breakfast, which are veggie omelets. But sometimes it is also the veggies I need for dinner for the next two days or so. We also make our lunches and snacks for the week on Sunday. Lunch and snacks are yogurt with fruit, a salad, with some form of chicken on top. We mix up the chicken and what types of fruits and salads. With breakfast and lunch streamlined pretty well it saves tons of time during the week so dinner never feels overwhelming. When dinner is streamlined that usually looks like having one dinner being something like chicken quarters with veggies. We make enough chicken quarters to be able to use the leftover chicken for another dish the next night. Things like Chicken quesadillas, chicken and dumplings, chicken fried rice, chicken stir fries, chicken curry. That meal is always faster and easier because the chicken is already cooked. We do dinner like that about twice a week so 2 meals are really fast. The rest of the week we just pick simple flavorful meals that don't actually take up too much time. And we clean the kitchen while we go so after dinner cleanup is fast with 2 people.

I'd pick d. But I'd not even consider doing it until baby was at least 1. Until then I'd just have the baby stay in my room.

I will happily agree with you. I do not understand people's love for football when they simply can't do anything else if a game is on. I don't have to deal with that in my house, as no one watches any sports here. But I really hate going over to mil's for a family dinner and having to always have football on.

I will absolutely look into this book because ds and I read A World Undone on your recommendation and loved it

Sometimes I Like To Curl Up In a Ball by Vicki Churchill First 100 animals by Priddy (but I buy it in like new condition as the bigger book that fits on a kids lap not the tiny book they publish now) Barnyard Dance by Sandra Boyton Those are the top 3 that I give to every new parent

Thanks. That is what I figured but ds wasn't convinced so I told him I'd ask the Hive

Thank you all so much for the support and advice. I'm feeling much better. Better enough to tackle the rest of the day☺️ and hopefully start tomorrow off right.

I know I shared something else they collectively blew me away with, maybe when I had COVID. And I try to regularly remind myself that dh and I are both great at teaching them kindness and compassion through our everyday actions. Which helps when I'm entirely drained. It really is the day after day and not having my cup refilled before more filling of their cups that has gotten me to this boiling point. I had my first anxiety attack in years yesterday and realized I no longer knew how to talk myself down. My dogs used to be my emotional support when it got that bad but they both passed away within the year (today is the 1 year anniversary of the first to go.) So, I told dh last night that I NEED another dog, even though I don't want one yet. Thanks!

That is a good idea to work on with them. Some can do that when it comes to non school related stuff. But right now most of their stuff,minus my oldest is all done with me because doing it by themselves was even more emotionally awful

Most of them have different reasons for their emotional struggles right now. One is mourning a close friendship that hasn't ended but drastically changed because that friend went off to college. Another is struggling with confidence issues. Another is struggling with finding motivation even in the things they know they love. and the rest is normal young kid meltdowns. I really don't know what to do to change up school. My high schooler has some outsourced stuff. The next 2 only have math and writing at the moment. Everything else is up to them. And the youngest 3 are easy enough school wise they are more the emotional mess when it comes to changes and routine not being exactly what they expected, depending on the kid

It is certainly possible and I will work to do that. Thanks for the suggestions

Ds14 is running a biweekly event at the library what will likely take an additional 2 hours on the back end to prepare each time. Does he count those hours as volunteer hours? Thanks

I cried when I read this. Thank you! I truly do know that what I'm doing is hard, that my feelings are valid, and that the 'bare minimums' are ok. I also know that focusing on emotional regulation is more important than what little we can cover if they are unable to be fully present because of their inability to regulate. I needed to hear this. Thank you.

They aren't rude to me or refuse to do what I ask though. My kids are really sweet and kind children. For the most part, they do not do things to hurt other people. I don't know if you ever heard the story of the year my dh was working part time during the holidays and since we had a fake tree that the previous owners of this house left behind we decided the responsible thing to do was not get a real tree. After making that decision I cried because it would be the first year with of my life without a real tree, something very important to me, and it also felt like a failure as a parent somehow. Well my children collectively went to my dad, who always gives each kid $40 for Christmas, and asked if they could get their Christmas money early so they could use it to buy me a tree. He then took them out, bought them the tree, and they surprised me with it. They really are loving and selfless most of the time. But they are also emotional wrecks. They are bad at regulating their emotions but they take that out on themselves. Or they lean on me for emotional support. So, when it is multiple kids a day it gets emotionally overwhelming for me. And day after day it hasn't given me the time to regulate my own emotions to be a good support person for them. Dh is an amazing and involved parent but since I'm home with them all the time, I'm the one they go to when things are real bad or if it is school related. He does always check in with each kid to give them the support they need as well but it is almost always after the fact since he's at work. He is an amazing support person for me! All that to say, freezing them out and punishing them for their emotions isn't the thing they need. But I appreciate the idea.

I just need to vent. We are in week 4 of our homeschool year and I really wish I hadn't ever committed to this all those years ago. This year I have a 9th, 8th, 5th, 3rd, 1st, and a straggler. I can't get through a single day without multiple emotional outbursts or a kid just emotionally shutting down. And if you saw how bare minimum we were doing you'd laugh. I know sticking them all in school isn't the answer. Some might thrive but most wouldn't. But I don't know what the answer is. Vent over I suppose

That is unbelievable

I can't believe that your realtor would let you just give $8000 to the seller. How on earth did she not get that put into an escrow account. I would be contacting the broker she works under and be pretty demanding in my expectation that they eat that cost by giving you the $8000 and having them go after the seller.

tonight dh and sat down and found another course for him to take this semester that won't add too much to his busy schedule. So, that's another $1198 that his work will cover. The textbook is $174, which they should also cover but we're not sure if that is a reimbursement or if they pay for it directly like tuition. When trying to order the book there was a place to put a voucher code so dh is going to figure out tomorrow how to get that voucher code from his company. But we can handle the textbook fee and wait for reimbursement if that is the easier route.