Honestly, I'd look for another provider, but I'd let the dentist himself know why I was leaving. Yuck!

I'm not sure what you mean by the last sentence. I don't think we want people coming from anywhere with the EXPECTATION of accessing social service programs. That would be unsustainable. If people want to bring their talents and skills and contribute, great. That's what built this country. And we could probably handle a limited number people who in the short term, at least, would need help. But I don't see that throwing open the doors and saying "come even if you can't support yourself" would be anything but a recipe for disaster for everyone. There will always be people who need help. And we absolutely should help. But we just can't take everyone who may want to come. That's not heartless, just realistic. As far as untreatable serious communicable diseases, that's another reason to get the immigration system under control. In a different thread, people were discussing closing borders and testing airplane passengers because of the fear of the ebola virus spreading. An unchecked border poses the potential for just that kind of thing or worse.

Oh, for pity's sake. Mexican Coke--expensive, but worth it!

If you have time, visit a few local floral shops. They may have large, nice-looking (but inexpensive so lightweight) plastic vases. If so, they might be willing to sell you one or even donate it to the production.

The point about your DD possibly just feeling too awkward to speak up is important. It would be hard for many 12-years-old to speak up for themselves in that situation. The rate your DD accepted originally was for a different job. The parameters have changed big time. It's never too early to learn to speak up politely for yourself--especially when someone is taking advantage of you. I wouldn't care about the mother's "it takes a village" viewpoint on this. Your daughter IS helping them. What's unreasonable is for the mother to spring this new set of conditions on your DD (especially without clearing it with you first). The mother should not be able to skate on paying a fair rate. At 12, I'd still feel the need to speak up for my DC. And while I would not want to leave the mother in a lurch, I wouldn't feel obligated to babysit under those brand-new conditions without adequate compensation. This isn't a case of two moms just helping each other out.

How awful. Thank you for the caution, Laura. Deepest sympathy for that board member.

So sorry this senseless thing happened and that you can't be with your son right now. Hard as it is, please let your family care for both of you. Your son will need you to be well and strong for him.

And I did not disagree with that. I clearly cited job safety as a legimate reason for an employer to want to regulate out-of-work behavior.

Because most things people do are none of their business? If it doesn't impact issues such as job safety, we don't need corporate nannies micro-managing our off-duty hours.

I admit I really don't understand the notion that we're somehow being "possessive" and selfish if we don't want an open door policy, everybody come and the heck with the consequences for us as a nation. Times have changed. It's a very different world. While I don't think anyone here has explicitly said no-limits immigration is the way to go, there seems to be an undercurrent that it's terrible to want to restrict who can come into any country. Our immigration policy clearly needs an overhaul. The process is ridiculously expensive, cumbersome, and arbitrary. People in other countries are suffering with crime and poverty. But governments do have an obligation to their own citizens first--and that includes making rules about who can and who cannot enter. We can make it more equitable certainly and provide opportunities that are mutually beneficial. But we can't fix the problems elsewhere by creating a mess here. I think the posters who are looking at ways to help people in their own countries have it right.

The more squeaky wheels, the better.

Health issues are not the only ones as has been discussed here already. I'm simply saying that if you want people to embrace a solution, it helps if you don't disregard their concerns. If only because you're likely to have a better solution in the long run as a result.

Yes, they are. And I imagine every one of us would do whatever we had to do to protect and provide for our families. The problem comes when the rights and needs of one group intersect with the rights and needs of another group. Of course, we must act with compassion toward people in dire straits. But we cannot dismiss the very valid and pressing concerns of citizens here--especially if we hope to have a long-term solution to these problems. Otherwise, anything we do is just another temporary bandaid.

Which makes them illegal immigrants--as opposed to legal immigrants who have the proper documentation.

Did the therapist give you a home program to do in conjunction with the office OT? That's really important. Ours gave us a long list of additional games and things we could do as well as specific exercises to work on every day. That might be a way to jump start your son's progress.

I've decided to stay out of this. Sorry for the interruption in the flow of the thread.

Edited comment below.

Teacher Zee said: "How do you know we don't do that? I lobby my congress woman (who does a great deal of what I already want) and I don't live in the US (although I am a US citizen). I DO live in a country, which, proportionately to it's size takes FAR more asylum seekers each year than the US does. Here is the most up to date stats..<<graph omitted for space>> As you can see we are doing our fair share here and quite frankly many people in MY country are getting VERY tired of taking in refugees from conflicts that the US has meddled in and then left. Thankyouverymuch." Good for you for contacting her. This is a national problem that requires national efforts to resolve.

Really? I sincerely hope I'm misunderstanding what you're suggesting. (If so, I apologize.) Your suggestion is not the least bit constructive, and it shows a callous disregard for the very real issues faced in the border states. Perhaps a better solution would be for non-border residents to vigorously lobby their own state and local officials to provide space and services for those who are entering the country illegally.

I'm sorry your DS is sick. I hope he feels better. Is it too late the call them back and say you're not up to handling company with illness in the house and so are cancelling the event outright? If you're just stuck with the situation, can you focus on making your son's "quarantine" as pleasant as possible? For instance, if you have a TV in your bedroom, let him use that as his sick room and take turns with your husband watching movies with him or playing board games (to the extent he feels able). Give him special attention to make up for missing the fun. That's tough to do when you have guests but since they've been told your son is ill, I'd let them fend for themselves as much as possible and put the kiddo first. You'd think people would appreciate a heads up to help them avoid getting sick. Again, sorry your weekend is working out this way.

Yes, it was part of the deal. And she was willing to allow it--which WAS nice of her. She didn't have to allow pets. And you were free to rent elsewhere if she had said "no." That doesn't change the situation. You BOTH agreed to one thing. Whether your dog died or not (and I'm sorry he did--it's painful to lose a beloved pet), the fact is you then went and got an unapproved animal. Maybe she would have said "yes" if you'd asked her about getting the cat. Maybe she would have said "no." But you didn't give her the chance. As the property owner, she was entitled to have that say. I won't continue to belabor my point. I wish you luck with your inspection. I hope it goes well for you and that she turns out not to mind the cat.

You sound like a wonderful tenant, and I'm sure your cat really is a lovely animal. But if I had been kind enough to allow renters to have a dog (which many do not), I'd be angry if tenants went ahead and assumed that meant additional animals of any kind were OK. Besides having to deal with a significant cat allergy, I'd feel that you'd taken advantage of me. The fact that you bought the washer, etc., doesn't mitigate the situation. The house is MY property. You weren't upfront and honest with me. If I were already reluctant about renting, having tenants pull a fast one with regard to pets would not endear them to me. Trying to hide the cat would not help your case.

Try making a list. A long one. Include everything you can think of. Then start crossing things off. Making the list helps get all those "to do's" out of your head so they're not racing around in there and stressing you. Plus, you can see your progress as you mark things off. And it feels REALLY good to cross things out.

That's a really good point. Is that partial job the same amount of work you would ask of a new hire? Or do you really need someone do the whole house? Meet the need YOU have.

That's certainly one very important factor. People need to feel safe and loved when sharing such a major change with the person to whom they're married. But I would say an equal factor affecting marital health is how the spouse who is doing the changing handles the situation. Is it with sensitivity/respect/support for the other spouse's continued belief and practice? How does that person handle promises that may have been made with regard to the religious upbringing of children, especially where disagreement on that issue would have been a deal-breaker with regard to the marriage itself? Does the person insist everyone else in the home suddenly adopt the new belief system? Respect and sensitivity need to flow in both directions.