Or those that have found their best friends here. Or those that have found that the hive is uber supportive and willing to pray. :grouphug: I certainly hope that my online friends don't consider me a figment of their imagination :lol:

I think, for some, that (in bold) is the big difference. I feel like people can only take so much, so I don't volunteer stuff anymore. It's not that they don't care (or I don't need the support), it's a matter of once a certain limit is reached people don't want to believe, because it's too much of a burden for them to carry. I'm not sure it's the best way. It means that I don't get support. It also means that good friends find out about things, because they've talked to someone else and when I try to shrug it off and say it's alright, I'm guessing they feel hurt. Some of my best friends are in the hive and this is the biggest bestest prayinest group of people I've ever known, but I feel like... I don't want to take up half their prayer time. Sorry, this was ramblingish :lol: I had a point, but I seem to have forgotten it :p

:lol: Just a few ;)

:party:

We read Peter Pan and youngest ds did well understanding the majority of the story. There were things he didn't grasp, but it didn't hurt the story, iykwIm. Alice in Wonderland is our next book, after the house at Pooh Corner, and I'm more concerned over the nonsense than I am over the language, iykwIm.

I changed mine when my nephew's health problems were diagnosed (that's my nephew). Of course, with how fast he's growing the pic is totally outdated. I plan to change it again, but ... well, there aren't too many lions running around so I assume people recognize my name :lol:

So far so good :p I'm really hoping that it just shoots off to the east and goes away. I think we've had enough excitement for this week.

She hangs out at water coolers everywhere...

Oh Bill... how COULD YOU! LOL! Spy Car stole the cookies, but I nabbed him ;)

I posted on the thread about fake posters... So, my life is pretty crazy. That's why my presence here is so sporadic. :lol: I would not believe what happened this week (earthquake, in Virginia :huh:, with an impending tropical storm, followed by a hurricane... say what :huh:). And that doesn't even include the family hooha.

:lol: I have no idea, but it wouldn't really surprise me. I try to keep my personal drama... personal and that's why I stopped blogging ;) Life is hard. I'm always surprised when I meet people that seem to steer a smooth and even course. People with ups and downs and craziness seem pretty normal to me :p I know Mrs. Mungo is real. :lol: No author could create such a rich character.

I don't understand, you would not marry someone who could only be changed by a religious experience, but you wouldn't expect them to change either? Dh and I have had some extremes in our marraige. It has changed both of us, fundamentally. Caring for his grandfather while he battled cancer, while I was pregnant with older ds, changed us. Facing an empty pantry with Grampa sick and me eight months along, dh out of work and finding out that our car kept us from being given food stamps, changed us. Taking turns, two years later, sitting with Grampa while he died, changed us. Losing Grampa, when it seemed like he was recovering changed us. A year later, losing our house when a hurricane picked up a tree and plunked it dead center down the length of the house changed us. Seeing the bed that dh almost spent the night in bearing the full weight of the trunk changed us. We've both learned to rely on each other. We are... well, WE now. Not me and him, iykwIm. We've stopped trusting that we would have anything tomorrow, besides each other. We know that in reality we could lose the other, but neither of us dwell on it, because we know that we can survive anything together. From dh.... so alcoholics shouldn't even cut back at all? Druggies should keep it up? Partiers should keep going out Saturday night? Gamblers should keep throwing that dice? And you should never shave your mustache. Ever. :roflol: Oh, and keep with whatever was the first thing you thought was cool (re, style). Oooh, and keep smoking. Don't buy a new car, don't move (ever). Don't take a better job. Don't change ever. :lol: He's having fun with this... if he grows his hair back out to high school lengths I may have to post my own swan song :glare:

Well, the closest Goodwill that is not filled with carp folks donated from their grandparent's attics is 40 miles away. My car gets around 25 to the gallon, so that's just over ten dollars in gas, hoping I don't get stuck in traffic or any stop lights. Ten dollars is dinner, just fyi :D I cut my own hair ;) I rarely put on makeup. If we're actually going out I will, but otherwise... meh, just seems rather pointless. It's not like dh doesn't see me with my morning face on anyway :p and for the rest of the day I'm not exactly out to impress anyone. Thinking on it, I'm more likely to wear a full face after 9pm and never leave the house than to appear outside in makeup at all. I have a few skirts, newly aquired from the local Dollar store and... well, by September I'm pretty sure they'll be useless, because quality is not exactly DS's priority. I have two pairs of clam diggers that are in alright shape, but I've had them for years so they are rather shapeless. The next new pair of pants in this house, though, goes to my older son who's grown a few inches recently. If you don't mind holes I have a great number of shirts. I only have five really nice ones. They aren't really dress shirts, but they aren't t-shirts, and my favorite is only now starting to get holes, but because of the design they're hardly noticable. New shirts will belong to older ds too :lol: Sure, I'm frumpy, but incredibly my dh is okay with this. See, he knows that we have to pay for the kiddos before we pay for ourselves and since I'm okay with his early nineties A for Anarchy t-shirt that is practically see-through and his worn out jeans, he makes allowances for mine. It's funny, because he never really cares how I look to other people and if I have dressed up while he's at work he automatically thinks something is wrong (who had to go to the doctor's?!?!?!). You assume there is no effort, but there is. It just so happens that not everyone can afford newer clothes or haircuts. :shrug: I know it seems crazy when you can afford it to consider that others can't, but hey, we're out here and like a pp mentioned, in this economy our numbers are growing.

You might not, but you can't speak for everyone. I guess it depends on how you define "can't." I mean, I could lose weight in theory, so could a lot of the women I know, but thus far it's a "can't" and ... crazy ... dh doesn't care. :iagree: I don't think the full burden is on them. IOW, either there's something wrong with them or there's something wrong with their marraige. I've seen women give up because they didn't have a REASON to try. The same way a child gives up trying when things feel hopeless. Well, if it seems like there's no pleasing your spouse then you quit. You might not move out or divorce, you just die on the inside and give up. :iagree:

Us too, but I agree with the idea that change is a part of being a Christian (if you aren't changing, you aren't growing) so while our youth made it obviously expectable, I'd think it would be expected regardless of age. :iagree:

Dh's priorities have all changed and that's changed a lot of who he is. He rides a motorcycle, but it isn't number one anymore. It gets put behind a lot of other stuff. He doesn't ride as fast anymore, because he has children that rely on him, his life is more important you could say. He doesn't see travel as being the be all end all anymore. Really, he's very different from the man I married. :shrug: We both assumed this would happen, and I'm pretty sure most of our friends thought the same way before their marraiges (that's why they all waited way longer than we did :p , we're not scared of the change). We're both very different. I think our growth and maturity has changed our fundamental selves, though, so perhaps that is the disconnect. Dh and I have been changed, fundamentally, by our experiences. Me too :D

:iagree:

I would be very worried about how he was feeling. If my dh turned to a life of cheetos and no baths (or gained a couple hundred pounds), I would be very concerned about WHY he was doing that. I can see why such an emphasis on looks could be very disconcerting. When appearances change (and they will), it can be a big indicator that there is something much more wrong than a spouse's diet.

I get what you're saying. I think for worse covers this and the idea of someone not caring leads me to think more of a great depression than a lack of love (in which case they need your support MORE not less). Like I posted, I don't feel that way, but I get how it could be an issue. Dh is my standard. :lol: C'mon, the door was left wide open.

I can remember rocking daisy dukes and cowboy boots... at five. :lol:

I always expected us both to change as we grew older. Our priorities would change, how we saw the world would change, our habits would change, &tc. We've been married almost 12 years and so far I've been right. We've both changed a great deal. I was worried that the assumption with the question (after I voted it occurred to me) was that I married a man I thought had potential. That's not why I expected. I expected change, because I expect everyone to change as they grow.

How do you figure? She wants her spouse to care enough to try, how's that shallow?