when ds was a seventh grader and then watched the Spalding Gray version-I love this play so much and it is somehow quintessentially American. Also, consider reading a Willa Cather book-O, Pioneers or My Antonia. So much in these wonderful books.

He probably saved some of the children's lives. The man's ex-wife had been a longtime member of that congregation. He was an out of work truck driver. He had bigoted opinions about many "types of people" according to his "long time friend" who was interviewed for the newspaper article I read. I just feel so very sad for the trauma of the entire congregation, the children who saw this happen, the killer himself, who was obviously in a mire of hate and pain that terribly altered his grip on reality. I wasn't suprized to read that he was loner, and had no close connections with anyone.

Don't spend your money on products that monitor or limit time. A clever child can easily find a way around these measures. Ask me how I know. My son has set up alternate administrator accounts, built his own computer from cast offs for less than $200, you name it. I think Pam is right that physically removing the internet cable may be a good hope. My ds simply piggybacked on our neighbor's wireless, at least, for a day or so he did. You just are going to have a very very difficult time outwitting a child in this day and age with regard to technical issues. IMO of course. I have been enraged at the limits to which this kid has been willing to go to defy us. But anyway..... I would take the appoach of making it as difficult as possible for him to sneak, punish in as appropriate as way as you can when you discover he has, and *build your relationship*, keep him very busy, and give him responsibilities. Grow him up. Immaturity is promoted, IMO, by playing a cat and mouse game of limits. For us, it hasn't worked very well, though it has helped some. Ahhh, rereading this I can see how frustrated I am and how ineffective I've been with him. I made many mistakes when he was younger! May you have better luck!

nt

He was at home for seventh and eighth grades, returned for ninth grade to school, now want to spend the rest of HS at home. I'm a bit overwhelmed thinking about teaching him again. First question: how to you find the syllabus of SAT subject tests? It appears the College Board's guides don't include scope and sequence information-am I right about this? If so, where can I find this information? Second question: What's a good, self-teaching spanish course for high schoolers with some background? He is very good at learning languages, and has had a year of HS spanish. Thirs question: Anyone have kids who've entered national science competetions, like the Westinghouse or Intel? He wants to do this, and his school did an awesome three year long research practicum tha ended with entries in these competitions. A number of these kids placed well-last year a girl placed fourth in the final national contest. I'm having trouble seeing how I could reproduce such an experience at home, yet I know it must have been done. Calm me please. I am excited and intimidated all at once!

I find this is so very true for us. In other words, when one of us is not trying that hard, connection of all kinds happens less. I just try very hard to keep this in mind. We don't have sitting family, but my oldest occasionally is called on to fill this need, though truth be told I don't like to do it often. We get up before they do, stay up after they do, chat while getting dressed in the morning, etc. While they are swimming, we sit beside the pool and talk. But, I realize that my situation is different from many, because our youngest is 7 now. While I had very small children, I was much closer to "the edge" and felt strapped for time and energy all the time. I don't know what to recommend, except to keep searching for those little chances to connect. We have "code words" and phrases that remind us of times past, or secrets we have just between us, that kind of thing. I'll be thinking of you. I am very sympathetic!

is *exactly* what I want for my boys who are not in school. "Friends" have caused more problems for our family than almost any other issue. When kids get to be closer to middle school and beyond, the friends seem to become another moral compass that the kids will begin to follow, despite the drastic difference from the moral code within the family. I understand kids desire for friends, and my boys have them. What I don't want is for peers to become the center of their lives, of their social lives. If I were you, I would try to set a goal of one playtime per week for your daughter's closest friends, and work to gradually reduce her to that level. if friends are very close by and no driving is needed, then that might be more, but I know my own goal (after seeing the destructive influence of peers on my eldest) has been to gradually reduce peer contact for my youngers, and redirect their compass toward family and parents as the primary influence. YMMV!

this may be the problem. One of my kids was like this and would literally nurse for hours on end, for many months, and there's not much of any way to change that need. You can simply ignore their cries and force them to live without it. I did not feel comfortable doing that, and spent many long hours holding and nursing this child. I cried plenty myself. It was *exhausting* and I was very sleep-deprived. So if you want answers from me, there aren't any. He grew up. That's all. I coped by getting dh to take him out, or leaving him for short periods when he was free on the weekends. I napped whenever I possibly could. Have you ever heard the saying, "The days are long but the years are short"? It is so true. Hugs and love to you. It sounds like you are really having a rough time and believe me I know how hard it feels. Sometimes a good cry really helped me during those days.

I think your words are rational and make perfect sense. Personally, I think commitment, respect, loyalty, hard work and shared life experience are what make a successful relationship, marriage or no. Married people haven't cornered the market on these qualities. I am saddened by the common-ness of divorce, but I think that has as much to do with our culture's promotion of immaturity as anything. It think it is painful and unhelpful to see divorce as merely a moral issue. It is so much more.

Some of these look wonderful.

do most of you use a copybook that you purchased somewhere or just cull sentences from literature that you are reading, or other sources? Thanks.

he will crawl at 5 months Climb out of his crib (repeatedly!) at 6 months push a box across the floor, then use it to climb up onto a chair then onto the kitchen table at 7 months walk (run!) at 9 months climb a ladder onto the roof of your house when he is 20 months (while you run in to go pee) sleep through the night for the first time when he is 7 Be a champion swimmer, straight A student, and **** good violinist, all at once, at 15 Drive you crazy for the forseeable future. Some kids just are bored sitting around doing nothin'. Hugs to you, I've been there, and truly, having a strong will is a good thing. If Mom survives the early years. Catherine

we were with a group and the only person neither of us remembers of the group is each other! Second date was just us, weeks later (when we discovered the "real" first date) and we went to a used bookstore (The Second Story-closed now) and out for Thai food. That place is still there and in fact I took my boys there on my birthday last year.

My dh is much cleverer at naming than I am. I credit Kay in Cal for chickenhotep.

I was raised in a church that discouraged questioning, and patronized me when I asked questions, then, implied my questioning was evidence of my lack of faith. The response to my questions was the first time I felt doubt. I had such a real faith before that, and it's never come back. Even as a child, I felt deeply betrayed. As an adult, my own experience is that the only devout Christians I personally know are not very loving or nice people. They can quote scripture on every imaginable topic, and attend church and mission trips faithfully, but can't find time or love for their own family. I wonder why, if God is real, why do the people who claim to be so close to him behave so coldly and heartlessly toward their loved one who has told them he is gay? This is a situation in my own family. The hypocrisy of so many Christians when it comes to treating people like him, who I think Jesus would love, makes me doubt christianity.

nt

Basically, the intricacies of markets are involved and people on both sides of the question claim that helping ordinary people can be done by either attempting to reduce speculation, or allowing speculation to continue unfettered. One fact that caught my attention from the article is that since 2003, speculation on oil has increased from $80 billion to $260 billion. Wow. It suggests that someone is making a lot of money-which of course is true-$4 a gallon gas has to be benefitting someone. http://www.businessweek.com/bwdaily/dnflash/content/jul2008/db20080710_610685.htm Catherine

My just 2 yo nephew, very verbal, had just been introduced to his new sibling, a sister, and 2 weeks later when we visited, he told us, "I have a penis, but Gracie has a pagina." He still hasn't lived that down.

both boys (bringing the total of children, all boys, to 5), my dh dubbed it the ****** Academy for Boys with *****being my last name. One was an AFS exchange student, who has since returned home, one was my 18 yo nephew. It's our own little funny joke, but we tell our neighbors, because I know they are convinced we are nuts anyway : )

Changing diapers for my three boys, over the years, I've been peed on so many different ways! But just recently, the one who always has to go in the night, and also has the hardest time waking fully at night, I think used the plastic wastebasket in my bathroom-it smelled funky and I couldn't figure out why.

because my teenager is in school again now and his younger sibs do NOT want to be 'in school" while he is "on vacation". I end up doing more unstructured educational activities during the summer like museums, field trips, more RAs.

I really like having the boards open to all. The last thing I think we as as nation (referring to the USA here) need is more fragmentation and less contact with people who think differently from ourselves. The degree of flight to extremism is already scaring the **** out of me.

you are overthinking the situation a bit. I would suggest that what matters most to a child who has lost both parents is not anything other than love. I probably wouldn't worry that much about the lifestyle\religious\relatedness quotient of any given choice, but whether they are patient, kindly, generous, and able to handle an influx of five bereaved kids. I only have three kids, but when we made this decision, we basically chose the people who we thought had the best coping skills, were most sensible, practical, loving and strong. My friend's husband lost both parents when he was 16, and had 2 adult siblings. He says that already knowing where he was going was a great source of comfort to him. His new parents welcomed him and helped him cope with his grief, which mattered more than anything to him at the time.

to Matter More Than Peers by Neufeld and Mate. He doesn't address specific issues like spanking, but rather describes how warmth in the parent child relationship is the critical factor in determining whether they follow peers or parents. The language is a bit arcane at times but the message rang true to me and it also applies easily to children of any age. I reread it about once a year. I also very much like a book by a man named Burton White called The First Three Years of Life, which fortifies my belief that much critical pattern forming, in a child's behavior and rebellious tendencies, happens between 6 months and 3 years.

nt