Yes, I can tell you exactly what the plastic surgeon told us after the surgery. He has never seen a case like this in which the patient did not have 3-4 more surgeries during that year due to infections in the wound area (inside the body, I presume). He said to expect it because it is going to happen. Well, I hope not. Meanwhile, my son is scared to death of going through this again several times ... he is really traumatized by what the surgeon told him. Plus, the surgeon didn't tell him that until five minutes before my son was wheeled to the OR. Now my son has major anxiety about germs because he is sure that if I am not *extra, extra* careful, he will get an infection. During his sponge bath today, he would not let me use water from one of the sinks because he is convinced something is wrong with it. He turned on that faucet a few weeks ago and the water didn't taste right. So I used the extra sink, and then went over his skin with witch hazel, telling him that would take away any errant germs. Now I'm going to have the water tested to make sure our well hasn't been contaminated, and to set his mind at ease. The general surgeon (who actually removed the cyst I found out today) said 6-9 months and did not mention more surgeries. He was the one we talked to while my son was in the hospital because the plastic surgeon "never visits patients in the hospital" according to the nurses. HIs twit of a physician's assistant came once. The general surgeon said that the minute my son is healed, we must get laser hair removal in that area to kill all the follicles in hopes that the cyst won't recur. He said there have been no studies done on this, so the insurance companies won't cover it. It is known that these cysts get started from hairs that grow into the body, so no follicles means no hairs growing in the wrong direction. He thinks that will work, and we are going to try it if we can come up with the $1-$2K it costs. My son has 49 staples and about 20 stitches and a glued incision that is about 5" long. The cyst was so big that after they removed it, they had to take some muscle from somewhere else (I assume gluteous maximus) to fill in the space. I'll say this -- his wound doesn't look like a plastic surgeon had anything to do with it. But this was also reconstructive surgery, so let's hope the inside looks better! And that is the sum total of what I know. If I get some time during the day, I'm going to call the hospital for a copy of the medical records. Hopefully that will shed more light on the situation. I tried to get an appointment with the general surgeon, who is a great guy, but he said Stephen has to see the plastic surgeon first. There is some protocol there but he didn't go into details. I didn't even know the general surgeon was involved in this, and neither did his office staff either before surgery or today when I called. I was told by the staff when I called with pre-surgery questions that he merely referred my son to the plastic surgeon. Then during one of the times DH spent 2 hours at the hospital, the general surgeon came by to see him. DH said wasn't that nice that he stopped by to visit. Well, I wasn't born yesterday, and I knew this wasn't a social call. The next time he showed up, I asked why he was there, and sure enough, he assisted with the surgery. I still feel in the dark -- things aren't adding up for me. I asked DH what the surgeons said to him during the appointments before the surgery, and he is vague about it. From now on, I am going to every appointment with DH because what are obvious questions to me are things he does not ask or, if he is told, he doesn't remember what was said. DH and I are lawyers, and the surgeons know that. I'm wondering why I am getting the run-around, and I am going to look into this very thoroughly, both from a medical and a legal perspective.

Milkshake: Yes, you bring all the boys to the yard. No one disputes that. What does that mean?

If you are going tent camping, put a tarp under the tent, and put one over the tent (in the air, tied to trees). Use that waterproofing spray on your tent. Do not touch your tent while you are inside it -- water will come through. This can be an amusing way to pass the time, but do not succumb to it. It never mattered how much rain the weather report predicted when we tent camped. If we didn't go because of the forecast, it didn't rain. If we went when rain was forecast, it did rain. There is nothing that puts me in a grumpier mood than it raining while I am tent camping. Nothing. Eventually we switched to cabins because I hate being in a tent in the rain so very much. The kids and the friend who camped with us were unfazed by the rain. So not everyone hates it as much as I do. Some people actually take it in stride.

The drains will be out in 3 weeks. We have an appointment with the surgeon on 8/21, and I hope the drains can come out then. I talked to the plastic surgeon's nurse today. The questions I asked must have alerted her because she asked me which floor my son had been on. When I told her, she said, "That explains it. My grandma was a patient on that floor a few weeks ago." I asked for another script for pain meds. The twit of a physician's assistant then told the nurse my son shouldn't need them because "he's only been out of the hospital for a day". Well, he'd been out for 2 full days, and had been prescribed 15 pills. He takes 2 every 6 hours, starting at 3:30 pm Saturday. So at 3:30 this morning, after his pills, he had 1 left. It took all that was in me not to tell the nurse to tell that twit that if she can't do the math on this, to give me a call.

:grouphug: and prayers.

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Our medical insurance costs are $1200 a month. Out of pocket medical expenses in the potentially tax-deductible category so far this year have averaged $1000 a month. Right there, over $2K. Add in food and gas and we are at $3K. Heck, it's a great month if I can keep the grocery/household supply bill down to $850. Still haven't added in car insurance, rent, utilities, necessary clothes, payments on unpaid medical bills of over $100K, medical expenses which are not tax deductible, life insurance for DH, and income taxes (local, state, federal, self-employment). No cable. Cheap cell phones. Six adults in family. One car, bought used. No public transportation available.

He was supposed to get his 2 percocet every 4-6 hours for pain. By the time it had been 6 hours, he was in pain (level 7/10). They flat refused to give him pain meds until the 6 hours were up. Then they would offer him morphine instead, which we never did figure out because he was fine if they gave him percocet on time. The last time he was offered morphine was a few hours before he left the hospital. I talked to everyone about pain management. They seemed to have no clue. Instead, they would tell Stephen that he would have to live with the pain. Nonsense! This is 2014, not the Dark Ages. He couldn't move himself and was in a lot of pain (back and legs) from not having his position changed in 12 hours. I couldn't move him either because I didn't know how to do it without causing damage. He repeatedly asked to have his bed laid flat. The nurses kept telling us that it was already flat, when clearly it was not (the head was raised). Finally, 24 hours later, someone lifted the mattress and found an oxygen tank under it that was preventing the bed from lying flat. When they removed the oxygen tank, they unplugged the nurse call button. He kept asked to stand because of the lying in the same position problems ... and they couldn't figure out how to get him out of bed, so they ignored the request. His brother came in and told the nurses how to get him out of bed. It was the only way to do it, and they couldn't figure it out. This from the nurse's own mouths in response to DS1 -- we couldn't figure it out so we didn't let him out of bed. It is extremely important that his dressings be changed every 6 hours, no later. Impressed on us by the 2 surgeons over and over, and in the doctor's orders. If he gets any infection, he'll be back in the hospital to do this surgery again, and already they anticipate 3-4 more rounds of the same surgery during the coming year. Also important for everyone to wash their hands before they put on the medical gloves. I had to remind them to do that. Every time. You see, they are risking contamination of the gloves on the outside when they pick them up with unwashed hands -- then do wound care.

I really would like to know what is happening to nurses. All of them were nice, and all of them were competent. They were always working and rushing around, not sitting around chatting. There were nurse's aides assigned to each inpatient, too. They were always working and rushing around, too. I was never so busy in my life. A lot of the time, I had to find a nurse when my son's dressing change or medications were due. Several times I prevented the nurses from giving Stephen the wrong pain meds (I had had the doctor, via the nursing staff, change to another med). More than a few times, I had to make sure the dose was correct -- the nurse was about to give him one pill instead of two. I had to hunt down a nurse when the IV thing beeped. Even though no one but staff is allowed in the nutrition room, one nurse let me get his juices and jello from there instead of bugging the staff. There is much more, but why belabor the point? There were a couple of social workers there, and I had to do a lot of talking to get my son a visiting nurse, an extra day in the hospital, and an ambulance transport home. All of this was a no-brainer -- we have good insurance and it was obvious that he needs those things. When I asked about equipment we will need, though, they did get an occupational therapist lined up to come over here and handle that -- otherwise the insurance won't pay. They also suggested a gel mattress that the insurance will pay for since my son will be basically bedridden for many months, up to a year or longer. I left the hospital today right before the ambulance arrived -- DH stayed with our son and rode home in the ambulance with him. By that time, I'd spent 2.5 days at the hospital, spent most of my time either taking care of Stephen or trying to get someone else to, and I had had it! If he had stayed one more night, I doubt I could have remained polite and friendly and thankful, I was so frustrated. I don't see how the nurses stay in good moods throughout their shifts. It must be so frustrating to have to keep track of a zillion details for each patient and be continuously interrupted no matter what they are doing. But the healthcare system ... what the heck is going on? I wouldn't advise anyone to be a nurse, ever, based on what we experienced in the last few days, and based on my prior experiences as an inpatient in hospitals in Boston and western PA over the last dozen years. Honestly, I think every patient would greatly benefit from having a family member stay with him or her every minute they are in the hospital. I don't think that should be the case, though. My son needs continuous care 24/7 and now it is up to me. The difficulty of the situation is compounded because he cannot sit, he cannot lie on his back, he cannot take a shower or bath. He stands up to eat because it is nearly impossible to eat when he is lying on his stomach or on is one available side. Those darned drains will be in for 3 weeks, at least. What happens to people who don't have a SAHM to do this for them? I remember what nurses were like in the good old days. Patients who couldn't take a shower got bed baths by the nurse. If their backs hurt, they got a back rub. Now there is hardly any direct patient care. Nurses hand the patients a basin, soap, towel and washcloth and tell them to wash themselves. If they can't, they don't get washed. Sheets don't get changed during a hospital stay -- cloth bed pads get removed and changed if they are dirty or a patient or his family member/advocate asks for it to be done. People who have to lie flat on their stomachs used to be fed by a nurse -- not any more. Nursing, I guess, used to include TLC. From my point of view, nursing has turned into taking vital signs, dispensing meds, and changing dressings. They must do more -- they are certainly busy -- but what is it? I left that hospital feeling sorry for the nurses and aides, and for the patients. Insight would be helpful to me. I have no clue what is going on. Thanks, RC

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Okay, I had my big discussion with the surgeon today. I'll make this brief (well, brief for me) because I have to get back to the hospital. #1 Stephen had no infection at all. The cyst returned and it was gigantic -- as big as my hand, with "fingers" ... it had to go b/c they couldn't take the chance of it getting infected. #2 We have no idea why two different stories unless DH got mixed up or didn't listen carefully enough. #3 We will have a visiting nurse, but don't know for how long or how often yet. #4 An occupational therapist is coming to the house once Stephen is out of the hospital to assess it and tell us what we can do to make it more accessible for Stephen. I have not been here to clean, so I hope that takes a few days. #5 A gel mattress is being delivered tomorrow. #6 They took Stephen off morphine and put him on 1 vicodin, a medication that doesn't do anything for Stephen. I got it changed to percocet and spent quite a bit of time getting the dose increased to 2 pills every 4-6 hrs because with one pill, his pain level was 7/10. #7 Stephen stood up for a few minutes today. His back and legs were killing him after being immobile in one position for 20 hours. That took some doing b/c the aides couldn't figure out how to get him to a standing position without him sitting down first. DS1 solved their problem -- it was common sense. Then Stephen nearly passed out, so he went back to bed. Luckily DS1 was standing by to help -- they said they didn't need him, but I overrode that directive and told DS1 to have his hands on S at all times. #8 Stephen sang Take Me Out to the Ballgame at my request, then told me the history of the song and its writer. He never sings, so I chalk that up to the percocet or maybe some left over morphine in his system. #9 Now that he can think again, Stephen is worried about a lot of things (mostly having to do with the probable future surgeries). But I found out that if this heals, he can have laser hair removal done in the area for $1-$2 thousand dollars, not covered by insurance, and we will do that. It's the best way to prevent a recurrence of the cyst. #10 My dog is very lonely. #11 The next challenge will be getting Stephen out of the hospital without a wheelchair *and* getting him into the car so that he can lie on his stomach on the way home. #12 I am sick of the hospital, but not at least I'm not a patient, although I feel like an inmate. #13 We finally got Stephen to eat and drink this afternoon. He isn't eating much, yet, but he'll be fine once he's home.

This all started nearly 1.5 years ago, when Stephen had a pilonidal cyst surgically removed. The surgery cures the problem 50% of the time -- and the recovery period is 6 weeks. I was against the surgery, but no one else was, because of the low success rate. The cyst came back about 6 weeks ago, and S was treated with 3 different antibiotics, which did no good. So he had to see the surgeon, who referred him to a plastic surgeon. Meanwhile, S said he felt fine, wasn't in pain, and basically clammed up -- which is odd because he has Asperger's, a very low pain threshold, and he never lies. Yet I thought he seemed sick (a feeling) and even DH noticed that. I tried to get S to talk to me about it, but he wouldn't -- which is always difficult when something bothers him. They decide to do the surgery again, and I find out about the skin graft which is necessary because the area of the original cyst plus the area where the drain was are both infected. Ok, I'm not happy, but it is necessary so I'll roll with it. S won't talk about it, and DH is acting like this is same song, second verse. S is 20, so HIPPA stands between me and finding out anything directly. The plot thickens. Yesterday, when the surgeon said the recovery would be a year and S would need 3-4 more surgeries, I was in shock or something. We walked out the conference with the surgeon -- which was very short, he was in a hurry -- and DH went to work. S was still in recovery and I was just aghast. I couldn't believe it. They wouldn't let me see S for an hour. My kids were with me, thank goodness. I just told the kids not to say a word to S, we would wait until the time was right to tell him - IOW, not right after surgery. It was too early to call Jean in Newcastle because of the time difference. So I called a local friend who knew about the surgery. To my surprise she said she would be at the hospital in 10 minutes, and she was. I'm wondering why she would do that. It turned out to be a good thing. I talked to her and that grounded me. Then S was taken to his room, and he was in pain and terribly nauseated, and I had to beat the drums to get them to give him more morphine. He was in bad shape. The nurse changed his dressings and I saw this huge wound about 18" in circumference with 2 drains. S didn't want anyone to talk -- for some reason that bothered him. So DS3 and I just sat there silently until DH came at 7, and sat there silently with him for 1.5 hours while I took the kids to dinner. Then DS1 stayed at the hospital all night with S and the rest of us went home. Naturally, one of the surgeons came after I left. There were 2 surgeons -- a general surgeon and a plastic surgeon. The general guy operated on S last year. He told DH that S had the worst, most pervasive internal infection the two surgeons had ever seen. I asked DH about the recovery period. He and S were prepared for it before surgery. It came up as a possibility when the plastic surgeon was having S sign the informed consent paperwork. It wasn't something that was expected to happen, and DH didn't tell me because he figured it wouldn't happen. A speeding train could be headed toward DH, and he'd figure the train would veer off and miss him ... and that's how DH is thinking about S. None of this is going to happen, S will be fine in 6 weeks. So, I have questions. DH doesn't ask them because, I suppose, it might ruin his the train will veer off scenario. What was infected? It wasn't organs or muscles. There must be spaces between things that held the infection. Why were muscles moved - what the heck does that mean? IMPORTANT OBVIOUS QUESTION: What caused the infection? Is it a drug-resistant bacteria? Is this a worry since oral antibiotics -- several different ones -- did nothing? Why are the surgeons certain S will have 3-4 more surgeries this year BECAUSE the infection will return, starting within 3 months? Then there are the more minor things -- setting up a visiting nurse to come every day until those drains are out. I don't think I should be solely responsible for wound care. S was in agony when the nurse took care of the drains when she was changing his dressing. She warned him it would hurt a lot. Am I supposed to fiddle around like I had to do last year, a total amateur, and possibly hurt him more, 4 times a day? I realize even with a nurse, I'll be responsible for S's care, but at least a trained professional will be overseeing things. It won't be like the blind leading the blind. And how am I going to get S home if they release him today, like they said they would? How will I get him in the car without him being in pain? How will he sit? Is there room to lie down? Will every bump in the road cause him agony? How will he get upstairs to his room? Our bathroom is on the second floor -- there isn't one on the first. Who is going to tell me what is going on? I've never lived in a place in which doctors tell patients and their families a slimmed-down version of events in words of one syllable. I know several people who have had major surgery and they know virtually nothing about their condition or the surgery. The patients don't ask, and the doctors don't tell -- it's a "the doctor knows best" town! My own doctors don't do that because I tell them to stop talking to me like I'm stupid. I tell them my educational and professional credentials and they come around quickly. I still find it hard to believe that I have to do that! I want to know Everything and I intend to find out. DS1's 1:30 AM report from the hospital: Stephen woke up. He's high on morphine and rapping Thug's Mansion by Tupac, so that's interesting.

Thank you all for your prayers, hugs, and healing thoughts on behalf of my dear Stephen. He is out of surgery now, and has been admitted, thank heavens. He did not have to have a skin graft, which is great because the nurses told me that grafts are much more painful than the surgery itself. Stephen is in some pain, but refused extra meds because he is so nauseated. He is not very happy, so I sent two of my kids home for the afternoon. One of my sons is going to spend the night here so I won't have to. Now, here is the absolutely astonishing thing. When we all spoke to the surgeon afterwards, I asked how long the recovery period would be -- because college starts in 18 days. Apparently DH and Stephen had never asked, but assumed it would be the same as last year. No! The recovery period is *one year*. Poor kid will very likely have to have 3-4 more operations during that year. The number of further surgeries per patient averages three. The surgeon said that no matter what, Stephen will miss this entire school year. I will get to the bottom of this, for sure. I want to know everything. But first I have to take care of my boy. Thank you again! RC

I am asking for prayers, good thoughts, whatever you have, for my son Stephen. He is having surgery tomorrow morning -- it is reconstruction surgery by a plastic surgeon because the both sites of the original surgery (last year) have become infected. He is having a skin graft done, too. He will likely spend at least one night in the hospital. Full recovery takes 6 weeks. I am going to do my best to get a visiting nurse to come to our house every day for the first couple of weeks. I am not a medical professional and I want to be absolutely certain that his wound is healing properly. Back in the 80's, Stephen would have been in the hospital for at least a week after this surgery. Now they send them home the same day or the next day, depending whatever they want it to depend on, I guess. Basically, IMO, they are foisting the professional nursing care off on the family. Having a visiting nurse will set my mind at ease since I am not a nurse. Last year, we didn't have a visiting nurse and I sure wanted one, really anyone who didn't have to look up how to change dressings on the internet and who can recognize a problem before any idiot (me) would! Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts! RC

Terriers are great mousers. They have high prey drives. This is natural to a terrier. I have to agree with you though. Terriers can be aggravating. I don't think they are the type of dog for everyone. After having a collie, it took me quite awhile to be able to think like a terrier -- they are such different dogs. After about 6 months, I was able to predict with 90% accuracy, what my terrier might do! I have a huge collection of Aidan stories that would put off most people from wanting to own a terrier, even one who looks like a cute stuffed animal. As for your high vet bill when you got her spayed, that included a year's supply of Frontline and Heartgard. At my vet, that costs $308. That has nothing to do with her being a terrier -- it is a routine cost of dog ownership.

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Last Thanksgiving, I made pumpkin pies and forgot to put the sugar in. I scooped out the cooked filling into mini muffin tins and froze the pumpkinettes for my dog. There wasn't enough nutmeg in the pies to harm him at all. I made a pumpkin cheesecake a few years ago that never set up right. It was glop. I seem to have a recently incurred pumpkin problem. A friend of mine and I made French almond cookies and she put twice the butter in them (we think). They spread out super thin and crispy and it was all we could do to not eat them all on the spot. I still haven't tried to duplicate that delightful disaster ... mostly because I will eat them all if no one else is around to watch!

I am so sorry for your loss, Jean. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Please pray for Jean. She's going through a rough time. Thanks, RC

Belly Band.

My dog has a very high prey drive. We've had people dump a cat and a kitten in our yard, and I found homes for both of them because two of my kids are allergic to cats, and the dog would kill a cat in a jiffy. My husband and I like cats very much, but ours would not be a good home for a cat. My advice is to find a home for the kitten or take it to a no-kill shelter.

Also, if you buy pet insurance, don't believe what the website or the helpful person tells you over the phone. Ask them for a copy of the contract and read it first. It is not uncommon for someone to buy pet insurance and then find out at the wrong time that it does not cover the genetic diseases their breed is known to have. As far as genetic disorders are concerned: "The researchers found that the prevalence of 13 of the 24 genetic disorders was approximately the same in purebred dogs as in their mixed-breed counterparts. Ten were found more frequently among purebred dogs, and one such disorder was more common in mixed-breeds." http://www.news.ucdavis.edu/search/news_detail.lasso?id=10613

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Well, it's free for 30 days, so I signed up. Have big note on my laptop so I don't forget to cancel it in time.

Scrapple. It's odd to me!