:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

You poor thing! I hope you feel better quickly! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Ganging up won't help. Jean is as stubborn as a dozen free-spirited mules. :lurk5:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just checking to see if you were asleep! :auto:

I was not nagging you. That was a direct order, also known as a command. You do not respond positively to nagging, so I changed my style.

Rest a little before you get started on doing so much that you get over-tired and sick.

Adorable!

Happy Birthday! :party: :party: :party:

Happy Birthday! :party: :party: :party:

It sounds like things are going pretty well for you. I'm glad.

IMO, it is just another way for colleges and publishers to get their hands on student loan, grant, and scholarship money.

I use a chopstick to pit cherries.

To cook corn on the cob: Microwave 4-4.5 minutes, in husk Cut off stem end - trick is to cut off about 1/2" of the actual cob, not just the stem, otherwise it won't work Squeeze from other end and husk and corn silk come off instantly

:grouphug: and prayers.

We did that last year and it filled a full size upright freezer. I also bought 40 lbs. of bones, though (for stock, not reassembly).

I am so sorry for your loss. :grouphug: and prayers.

The appt with the plastic surgeon is 8/21. I'm saving all questions until then. I have no idea about how long it will be until he can sit.

LMV, thank you for your thoughtful response. Stephen did sign paperwork so that DH and I can talk to the surgeons and they can respond freely. He is down to one 5/325 percocet every 6 hours, and tomorrow, I am going to try him on an OTC painkiller on Thursday (a week post-op) to see how that works (not Tylenol, in case he needs a percocet). Stephen doesn't have a wound vacuum. This may be because absolutely no pressure can be placed in the entire area of the wound, which is very large -- he can only put pressure on the outside of his right hip, period. He spends a lot of time on his stomach as a result. There is a piece of muscle that has been moved to the area from which the cyst was excised, because the cyst was so large. That is all that was explained to me, so I'm whistling in the dark here. We are really lucky that the general surgeon is a personable guy who has a great bedside manner. I do understand about informed consent. I took med mal classes in law school. I spend a lot of time explaining to people that they don't have a case! Some members of the general public have dollar signs in their eyes and do not understand medical malpractice at all, as I'm sure you are aware. I am not a med mal lawyer, btw ... criminal law was my game, and I'm retired.

Bumping this.

The only nurse I didn't meet was on shift when DS1 spent the night at the hospital instead of me. Stephen told me yesterday that that nurse seemed "stoned". I'm pretty sure Stephen was the "stoned" one since he was on morphine and rapping Tupaq songs at 1:30 AM. The next morning when I got there, Stephen started singing. This is notable because even when he was a young boy and in the kids' choir at church, he only mouthed the words. It was the first time I've heard Stephen sing in over a decade! Besides, if there had been a problem with the nurse, DS1 would have reported it and then told me about it. I met all the other nurses and they were great. Just overworked. There were computers in every room, and hallway computer stations every few rooms. The nursing station had at least one person there most of the time, and there were never groups of nurses hanging around chatting. Everyone seemed to be going on high speed all the time. Every nurse was friendly, cheerful, and polite all the time. The only complaint I heard from a nurse was when the night nurse told me that the "powers that be" want all the nurses to go back to wearing all white uniforms, like they used to. The reason is that people complain they can't tell the nurses from the aides. Yet hanging from the bottom of every name tag, prominently displayed, is another tag with RN written in big letters. So yeah, telling nurses from aides is a piece of cake. We only saw aides once, aside from them coming to introduce themselves at the beginning of their shifts. I bet they were glad I was there, because they were always running around, busy as can be, too. I am definitely not complaining about the nurses. I checked with DS1 about the allegedly stoned nurse. "He was really nice, really together. He took the time to explain everything to me as he was doing it. He was definitely not stoned. Stephen was, though. He was on morphine, you know, and rapping."

Well, I'm not going to threaten anything at this stage because it will be counter-productive and cause resentment instead of openness and cooperation. Just knowing we are lawyers is, unfortunately, threat enough. If doctors would just not ask what we do, we wouldn't tell, or at least I would keep my mouth shut. We do have an appt in 2 weeks with the plastic surgeon. I am going to call today and see if he will actually attend the appointment. If the PA is there instead, I will firmly direct the conversation. If she has knowledge, which I bet she does, I will have to pull it out of her! I am also going to make sure she directs questions about my son to my son, and that she listens to his responses and concerns and answers his questions. Spryte, the nurse uses saline solution to clean the skin inside the circular incision. I use an antibacterial wipe for this since it is just untouched skin. I have been told by multiple medical people at the hospital and the doctors' offices not to clean the incisions at all. I do use the wipes to clean the glued incision and the stitched incisions -- only the part with 49 staples is untouched by me. I am to put Bacitracin with zinc on it 4 x a day, covered the entire area with gauze pads overlaid with abdominal surgery pads. Cleaning the drains is no big deal. I put the same ointment around the drains and cover that with a split gauze pad. Otherwise, it is just a matter of squeezing the liquid in the tubes into the plastic bottles at the end of the tubes, and emptying those bottles. If I were a nurse who had to take care of 5 surgical patients, it would drive me nuts to have that job because it would be a never-ending procession of changing dressings. My entire day is set up around dressing changes. I can't believe how much time it takes to take care of him. I barely have time to get anything else done. He is dependent on me for everything, so I am cheerful about it because I don't want him to be his usual considerate self and not ask for what he needs because he doesn't want to impose on me. I have taken care of my kids through at least 13 surgeries, some major, some minor. BUT for some reason the amount of care it took in the past seems to have been wiped from my memory banks. He feels better today than he did yesterday -- so that's two improvements in how he feels since he came home. Still, it has to be terribly frustrating for him. I did talk him into letting me shave his head -- clipping his hair down to 1/2" inch so I can wash it. He can't bend over or take a shower or a bath, and he has thick, curly hair which will otherwise be impossible to keep clean. This is a Big Deal. The last time any of the boys let me clip their hair, DH didn't recognize DS2 (he was nearly bald) and no one was happy with the results. My saving grace is that our dog doesn't know when he has a bad haircut. The kids wish I'd hang a permanent sign around my neck: Do Not Let This Woman Get Near You With Clippers or Scissors! I declined to wear the sign in case the dog can read. :-) And he talked me into not using the apricot scrub on his face again. I have this cool little electric facial brush for sensitive skin that I'm going to use instead. I'll trade not using that in exchange for him letting me shave his abundant facial hair. Then I'm going to threaten my other kids with bodily harm if they mention it, because hairy boy is hairy because he hates it when people make a big deal over him getting a haircut. His brothers have been trying to convince him to shave for a couple of years. My approach may work. You all are so sweet to keep talking with me about this. I can't talk to anyone IRL because it will get back to the college kids and pretty soon the entire school would know about my son's private business. He would HATE that, and so would I in his position. Information spreads like wildfire in small towns. Oh, and I know a lot about pilonidal cysts ... I have had 2 operations for them, and so has DH. We did not know they could be so gigantic though, and require such extensive surgery.

Well, I know what happens to lawyer's kids. One of our friends has a son who has a serious medical condition. A few years ago he was in the hospital and had a paper chart on which "Lawyer's Son" was written in red marker across the top. :lol: Here is what makes me nervous: Our own general surgeon's staff had no idea that he was involved in my son's surgery at all. The woman who answered the phone didn't want to make an appointment for him because the doc merely referred him to someone else. I said that is not true, he participated in the surgery. She checked with "the nurses" and they didn't know anything about it either. My husband didn't know either; he thought the general surgeon was visiting Stephen out of the kindness of his heart. I knew that wasn't true. The general surgeon is a very personable guy, and a very good surgeon, and has a great reputation. But he isn't visiting people for fun, so I was not surprised to find out he had done part of the surgery. I also wasn't unhappy about that -- this guy is good at what he does. The person who makes me nervous is the plastic surgeon, and it is solely because of the circumstances. He did not meet my son and DH until right before surgery. He is too busy to meet with patients pre-surgery or at the hospital after surgery. I called and sent an email with questions I had, and I did not get a response. I forwarded the email to the surgeon, and still did not get a response. When we talked to him, it was for 5 minutes (signing consent form right before surgery), and for 2 minutes (post-surgical report). I think that is a very strange situation. Two of my sons have had 13 surgeries and I've had plenty myself. Never has this type of situation occurred. Also, the plastic surgeon's PA makes me nervous. I was told that she has lots of experience and knows everything about the surgeries the guy does, and has all the information patients need, and therefore it is not necessary for this very busy surgeon to meet patients himself. I met her. She is a ditz. No one in his or her right mind would trust her unless they are one of those people who blindly trusts everyone in the medical profession. She was clearly informed by me and by the doctor's orders that my son takes 2 percocet every 6 hours. She knew that he has a low pain threshold and whatever the reason is, he has Asperger's and that is not uncommon. So she sent him home with meds that ran out when I gave him his Monday at 3:30 AM dose. (Luckily, we had percocet left over from DH's recent dental surgery.) When I called the surgeon's office to ask for another prescription, they called me back. The PA said she sent him home with plenty of meds and he had only been home for one day. Well, he'd been home for 2 days, and simple math (4x a day x 2 pills x 2 days = 16 pills, not 15) would have told her that I had one pill left after the 3:30 a.m. dose. (The 9:30 AM dose would have been the final one in a 48 hour period.) Had she listened to me, she would have known that I have plenty of experience with post-surgery pain, especially with this son who has had 4 major surgeries. She would have known that we always move to one percocet ASAP, but that does not mean I'm going to leave my son in level 7/8 pain just so I can say he's only taking one pill at a time. She would have realized that I know the risks of taking percocet -- addiction, tylenol risks -- and that I am fully informed about that and it is not going to be a problem in the circumstances. At no time did she answer any of my questions with answers that showed she listened to me. Her responses were vague and had nothing to do with this surgery or this patient. Kind of like when you adopt a dog from a rescue. Has the dog ever bitten anyone, the potential adopter asks. Oh, you don't have to worry about that, says the rescue. That is not an answer. At no time did she or anyone else ever respond to my questions about using a different painkiller for my son. It is like other painkillers don't exist, when I know they do. How do I know about painkillers? Because my husband has represented several doctors who are in prison for dispensing them to anyone who has cash, including recently. Where is the information we have from? The FBI and the DEA, and many expert witnesses who are physicians. Also because of being informed by my own surgeons over time, and because I do the research on everything so that my consent is fully informed. Also, her demeanor was not a professional one. It was a combination of being ditzy and being in a rush. She was sweet -- she offered to come and see my son on Saturday, her day off, and she lives an hour away. I didn't take her up on that offer because there was no point. This may all be because the plastic surgeon is an extremely busy man. He has 6 offices, and his website is all about cosmetic surgery and ancillary beauty services like facials. Honestly, it's a large business with one doctor and lots of support staff. Basically, red flags go up for me when I ask a direct question that requires a direct response, and I don't get it. Has the dog ever bitten anyone? That requires yes, no, or IDK as a response. Red flags go up when I attempt to get factual information and am either ignored or given a response that is unsatisfactory unless I am a blindly trusting person. Oh, you want to cut open my son and it's for a good reason? Have at it. This has only happened to me in my entire life in this small town. I don't ever play the lawyer card. Well, once I did. I went to see my own physician for a physical. It was the first time I'd ever met the man. He treated me like I had seen other people being treated by doctors in this town. Minimal explanation in words of one syllable, expecting no questions because patients should trust and respect their doctors (and do). I brought him up short and told him my expectations and credentials. We get along great now. This is a strange little town. Perhaps common, but this is the first time I've lived in a small town or spent any time in one. Very conservative, very authoritarian in culture, generally uneducated population compared to national statistics. I have never heard anyone question an authority figure, but I've heard plenty of remarks about it when I do ... most of them along the lines of don't you think that is rude?, what did s/he say when you said that? did s/he get mad at you? I can't believe you asked her that! Bizarre. I think the culture around here is part of my problem. It makes me nervous. After 5 years, I feel like a stranger in a strange land ... So, I don't play the lawyer card, and I don't act like a horse's behind. You catch more flies with honey, is my motto. It is a PITA, but much more effective than scaring people half to death. I am very good at being friendly, personable, caring, polite, and appreciative of every little thing ... even when I want to bite someone's head off. It has to be a really BAD situation for me to bite someone's head off, and I can't recall the last time it happened.

So do you all think I'm off base? Does any part of this story seem strange to you? For me, red flags are popping up.

:grouphug: and prayers!

Weird? Off-putting? Not even a tiny bit!