You know, as someone who didn't read the book, the compelling part for me was..... SPOILER ALERT!!!!! . . . . . . ...when the older guy got the vasectomy, without her knowledge, but the youngish version of him came back, and got her pregnant, anyway. It spoke to the type of marriage where the man you fell in love with doesn't exist anymore, you know? I felt that she got to have him back a little, at that point, and while horribly sad...it was wistfully romantic, I thought. I won't even get into the aspect of the deceased dad coming back, and seeing the little girl. :( On my Facebook wall, I warned that Reformed Theology-believing, former (or current) military wives with dead daddies should be prepared to cry when they see it. I'd add "Women Who Miss the Young Man They Married" to that list. :( Beautifully filmed, very different movie. I can't say I *liked* it...but it was moving, and thought-provoking.

You're right...some of these terms, culturally speaking, aren't very solid.

...I have some questions I'd love to ask a polyamorous person (about the article), but I think I'll go to PM, if you don't mind, since this looks like this thread is taking a downward spiral. I just wanted to say, publicly, that your response to this was very gracious. I wish we could have frank, open discussions about this sort of thing--whether we agree or not--without name calling.

Did I say that? Someone said that they believed it was more about love, and I said that I believed the difference was sex. You're heightening my argument.

...is the biggie that makes my marriage different from other relationships. As a monogamous person, I have sex with my husband, no one else. That's a distinction. A big one. (No pun, or revelation about my private life intended, lol.) Someone made the comment that it's probably more about love than sex, in polyamory relationships, and I have to quibble, because sex is the distinction maker. (You're right, it may not be ALL about sex...but I am saying it is largely about it.) You can have love relationships with others, and not be engaged in "polyamory". When you have sex with others, that's when the term "polyamory" applies. Or...am I incorrect? Are there polyamorous relationships that don't involve sex? (This is a sincere question.)

...why couldn't we just be talking about having a close circle of friends that spans various ages and genders? Or expanding the idea of "Love" to include relationships that don't involve sexual aspects? I think the difference is sex. I know the word "amory" is involved, but they ain't talking brotherly love. ;)

Both: Geometry (co-op class once a week, plus a one-hour math help session) Biology (Apologia; co-op class once a week, ds is supplementing with another resource) Traditional Logic (after we finish up A Rulebook for Arguments) Handbook for Writers (old college text of mine) Spielvogel's History: A Human Odyssey Medieval/Renaissance Literature selections from WTM and other lists Spanish through Oklahoma State University Volleyball DS: Art class (co-op) Guitar lessons P.E. (co-op; this is a great class where she goes over running form and some basic fitness stuff) Literary Lessons from the Lord of the Rings (we're modifying this, and really only using it as a glorified vocab./literary term resource, since we both love the book. :)) DD: Drama class (co-op) Voice lessons Vocabulary Cartoons

...doing the nurse-taught homeschool class was if said child was going into a science-related field. My oldest son plans on doing this, and this was one of the reasons we decided to join a co-op this year; a biologist teaching Apologia Biology. Even though I think Apologia Biology is a little light (since, for one thing, it doesn't include anatomy and it has to be taken separately), I believe the value for this particular child is learning from someone who is passionate about the subject (the "extras" she's doing with them would have been worth it, alone). If this isn't an area of passion for your child, and it's not likely that he'll be going into a science-related field, I'd consider doing it at home, and putting my money towards something that will have a greater impact. JMO.

...is it even a real representation of the folks here? I mean, there are thousands of members...and generally speaking, a couple hundred people answer these polls. You can hope and assume that there's a good cross-section posting/answering, but the reality is, you can't truly tell unless you poll everyone.

I can understand Scriptural basis for the path that the boy's family has chosen, but this is simply a "Your Daughter Isn't Getting What We're Saying" situation. It should be handled that way, rather than as a "You Aren't Acting Biblically" situation. As others have said, this sort of stuff--texting boys, etc.--isn't addressed specifically in Scripture. Purity is, but there's a whole spectrum of the view of "purity" that doesn't necessarily follow their specific choices. Sure, you can go at it from the "You're not helping my son follow his path"...but honestly, he's going to have to learn to deal with a lot more than 12 year old girls texting him, if he's going to remain pure in this world until marriage. I'd focus on helping him find ways to deal with it, and I'd only step in--sending my own text message to the girl, or calling their mothers--if totally necessary. Which it sounds like it is, unfortunately. My umbrage would be taken from the girls not listening, in other words. A possible plan of action for me would be "Tell them not to text you, you're more comfortable speaking in person, in a group", then sending my OWN text message to the offender, "Johnny shares this phone with me, his mother, and his little brother, and I believe he's asked you not to text him. Thank you", and then calling the mother, "Both my son and I have asked your daughter not to text him. Please ask her to respect our wishes". (If anything inappropriate--according to MY definition of inappropriate, which probably differs from your friend's--was texted, though, I'd jump to this step, and "courtesy copy" the text message. I'd do this for my adolescent son's protection, more than anything, but I'm getting the feeling that what your friend is dealing with is just flirty, "Hw R U?" type stuff, rather than R-rated material.) Lather, rinse, repeat, for each girl that called.

And in the interest of, well, self-interest, lol...I know that while most of the folks who leave carts in the lot to ding up cars DON'T get ID'd and have to pay the price...I would. It's just how it goes for me. :001_smile: Me, too. It's not like I haven't EVER left a cart in the lot, before, but for the most part, I just consider it the thing to do. I usually park right by (or two to three spaces away from) the corral, and I'm not concerned about kids being in a car for 10 seconds or so. As far as employing people to gather carts...I don't know that any store has someone whose sole job is monitoring the parking lot. Most places I know have signs asking folks to put carts in the corral, and then an employee gathers strays when they go to the corrals to bring in the rest. Honestly, though, I don't put a lot of importance on my vehicle, lol, so I'm not THAT worked up about stuff hitting it. Two or three cart dings can't even begin to match the damage that happens in my own driveway. ;) If I had a decent car, though...I might be a little more passionate, LOL!

...so much agreeing going on, here, LOL!! That's a big deal, on the WTM board! :D

...this type is called "The Mystic". :D I understand why (spiritually/future minded, etc.)...but does anyone else get an image of a dark cloak and walking staff, lol?

...it has to do with this board and the friendship format it provides, rather than homeschooling. If I were a betting woman. ;) While I love getting together with "real life" friends, and many folks would be surprised to know I'm introverted (because of being a ham of sorts at parties and such), I really like this board for the simple reason that...I can pick and choose when to interact. (Sad, but true, lol.) I can write out a response, and edit (and edit again), rather than navigate an actual time conversation (not that I don't like doing that, too...but this sort of interaction is much, MUCH easier for me). Anyone else feel that way?

...to avoid this is to keep your receipts in your wallet, and inventory each week (month, whatever) to make sure you're not exceeding your budget. Of course, if you have other reasons for wanting to move away from credit cards, you should do it...but I love the return we get, and I think it's completely possible to keep spending under control using them.

I am consistently INFJ (whenever there's been a thread here and I've tested myself, lol) and yes, it was a relief to read the (various) descriptions of that personality type. It feels good to think that someone, somewhere, could understand me. I don't drink coffee, but I'll take a cup of green tea! :D

He's been sounding out simple words (cat, sit, and so on) for quite a while, but my oldest daughter sat down with him the other day with our old copy of Reading Reflex and he began reading the simple stories (Ben Bun, etc.). He got the most incredulous look on his face and said, "I'm really READING! Do you mean I can read all these (gesturing to our bookshelves) books? I can read MILLIONS of books?!" :D It was one of those "I love homeschooling" moments. Although, I'm just the teensiest bit misty that he's the last Little to teach how to read. ::Sniff:: As an interesting aside, he said that he can "only" read stories with "big" words. But he didn't mean long words...he meant the huge print that Reading Reflex uses, lol. Anyway, just had to share.

I pick and choose from a variety of approaches, including classical and CM, and I think our homeschool is much richer for it. A focus on formation of habit, short lesson times, nature study, living books, use of song for foreign language instruction for Littles and a fairly long list of subjects are the things I've taken from CM. I've not been as comfortable with some of the methods used for actual instruction, however, and have stuck with more WTM-ish approaches for many things (grammar and composition instruction, Great Books, etc.). And even though I've done some of these things all along with my bigger kids (going into 10th grade), I don't think it's ever too late to tweak your approach. (I'll also add my recommendation for what I believe is the greatest Charlotte Mason resource; her own writings. I know that it seems like a lot to read, but I honestly believe that much of CM's intent and method is lost through most of the various "interpretations" out there. I think her actual method is quite worthwhile, in many respects--although I strongly disagree with some of her philosophies/beliefs--but it's my opinion that many of the CM-esque approaches out there are actually modifying her original ideas. JMO.)

And I want to echo the other poster who said to really value the honesty; how wonderful that he feels comfortable sharing such a heartache with you. I know it's painful now...but I think there is a lot of good you're able to see because of it. Praying for you guys that things get easier...:grouphug:

...my kids had an American Girls' book out from the library, once (I want to say it was "Felicity's World"; not one of the chapter books, but a book detailing colonial life), and there was a letter in it where Thomas Jefferson detailed what he thought would be a good use of time for his young daughter. I mean...it was an hour by hour schedule. Filled with stuff. TJ wasn't at all afraid to micromanage kids, lol. Not anything like what you see in the Oliver de Mille book. :D FWIW, I like the attitude of A Thomas Jefferson Education, but I think it's a little too hands off. I do think it all works better if you can convince them to want to do it, but I also believe in having a few basic requirements. (I wouldn't give a child the opportunity to choose no academics, in other words.) And...I think they chose the title poorly, lol. Wasn't it Patrick Henry who didn't believe kids should have to wear shoes before they were six, or go to school until twelve? That's a book I'd like to see...a Patrick Henry education.:D

You mentioned prefering to meet others outside (park, etc.)...I think that's great! Young, active kids do better with lots of time outside (at least, mine do/did), so you could always try following an outdooor time with a quiet, indoor activity when you got home/came inside. 3 is old enough to sit down with a few books/toys and a timer, and give Mom a chance to catch her breath. (My problem now, with five kids, is finding enough rooms to give everyone a place for quiet time, lol.) This kind of gives them a better chance of spending half an hour or so quietly, if they're tuckered out from running around. :-) Another way to increase the chances of this working is to schedule something fun or a snack for after quiet time. "Stay playing/reading until the timer goes off, and we'll have some cookies!" It's not necessarily a reward, but something to look forward to. A natural ebb and flow to a little guy's day make habits like that easier to get and stay into, IMO. (P.S. I'm going to have to take my own advice on this, too, when we start our quiet times back, tomorrow! --First day back to school--Thanks for bringing this up...I need to get into good habits, myself!)

Yes, I absolutely wish for an Introverted Parents' Support Group. It's odd, but many folks wouldn't think that I'm introverted, at first glance, because I like to go out, hang with friends, get laughs, etc., etc...but I seriously do so much better with a little alone/quiet time, daily. (And if I have a longer period of it, weekly, then we're even better off.) I've vacillated between feeling guilty about this ("You should appreciate your family!"), and accepting it for years, and I think I'm just about to give up the guilt. It's not even really a matter of preference; I can't think/operate well if I don't have some time and peace. (I guess that's why I don't think/operate so well, so much of the time, lol. Sigh.) We're going back to having a quiet time during the day, because I can't seem to impress on everyone that we need to wind it down by a certain time at night. I'm also going to give a few gentle reminders about how our outside pursuits (activities, zoo trips, get togethers with friends) depend largely on giving Mommy said quiet time. That helps. :D I think it's a special challenge, but it's not out of the question to balance kids' activities/homeschooling, and the needs of an introvert. One of the reasons we took a good break during the summer from activities was that I needed it. (The other being that I like for the kids to simply have some unstructured time.) Keep your chin up, and be realistic about expectations and needs. My personal belief is that two kids the ages of yours (who have a sibling at home to play with on a daily basis) don't need a huge amount of outside socializing time. In fact, if they don't ask for it...I wouldn't give it a second thought. (Our playdates at that age were few and far between; I think we belonged to a play group that met once a month, and had occasional get togethers with friends who had similarly aged kids every so often). We've sort of gradually allowed more and more as the kids get older; they appreciate it more, have more of a genuine need (in my opinion), and can understand the idea of outside pursuits being a privilege.

...on NPR about how Costco and other similar places are now offering USDA *Prime* cuts of beef. (Cuts normally reserved for high-end steak houses; Porterhouse, etc.) They mentioned lobster prices falling, too. I don't really eat lobster, and I just placed our meat order at the food co-op, but...if you're in the market for these items, I guess this is the time to buy, LOL!

...we waited for *sixteen* years to own a dog, and I don't regret it. Having a place of your own, and a great, stable environment will make it a much more pleasant experience. Don't force it. (JMO)

...I'd bet it's the "Ultimate Bad Boy" potential, lol.