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bumbledeb

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Everything posted by bumbledeb

  1. bumbledeb
    Not meaning to be accusatory, just pointing out that I've chosen this kind of parenting, not because I can't be bothered, or because I'm prepared to allow my children to suffer rather than punish them or enforce my will upon them, but because I am prepared to go to HUGE effort to make sure that they have the happiest possible lives as far as it depends upon me. Someone said something to the effect that children would rather enjoy screen time than active games and that to allow that would lead to obesity, I was trying to point out that that is rarely the case if the parents are willing to accompany their children in the active pursuits. I do sometimes think that it may be that some parents who spank and use other punishments to enforce their will upon children, do so rather than go to the effort to make better parenting decisions.
  2. bumbledeb

    Thank you for being my friend. :)

  3. bumbledeb
    In my experience, kids are only too happy to leave the screens and play active games if the parents take to time to play with them. This kind of parenting takes lots of effort and involvement. It is not an easy option or one for lazy parents.
  4. bumbledeb
    Just got back and still busy but just wanted to say that my children are respectful and do what they are told. They eat the vegetables they like, try the ones they don't and eat lots of fruit. They are polite, well-behaved and admired by lots of my friends. Perhaps that's because I don't spank them?
  5. bumbledeb
    Maybe because it's more culturally acceptable where you live? Or during your own childhood? My own intuitive gut feeling is that it is abusive whatever the age, but I'm not saying I'd report someone for it...... I'd rather talk to the person, if I could and suggest some websites, books or whatever to help them find alternatives.
  6. bumbledeb
    Ah. OK, I see the sense in what you are saying. I think. So, it would be abuse to spank a child who is not being deliberately defiant, or a child who can be reasoned with?
  7. bumbledeb
    Maybe the parents of such children aren't trying hard enough to find alternatives to physical punishment since it is an option available to them? I don't know about where you are, but here, foster parents are not allowed to use physical punishment under any circumstances. They have no choice but find alternative means of keeping the children from sticking scissors into electrical outlets. And they do.
  8. bumbledeb
    I think that you are probably right - spanking may not be a reportable abuse. I'm not sure I understand something about your post though. Spanking infants is abuse and spanking older children is abuse...... Are you saying there is a period of a person's life where it is not abusive to be spanked but before and after this age it is abusive? I'm wondering what could be the reasoning here, if you don't mind explaining.
  9. bumbledeb
    Can you clarify something here? Are you saying you have a six-year-old who would put scissors in an electrical outlet unless you spanked her?
  10. bumbledeb
    :iagree: That is exactly how we do things here. And the kids are wonderful!:001_smile:
  11. bumbledeb
    Truly I didn't mean any of what I said to sound nasty, and I am sorry if that is the way it came across. I believe what I said to be true, but not in the sick way it may have come across to you. I was spanked, not in any way that would be considered abuse, even nowadays in most places. I spanked as a new mother, I thought the anti-spankers were ridiculous. I had three children under 3 when I first even heard that there were people who didn't believe in spanking - I heard an interview on the radio and was aghast at the very idea. It took me a couple of years and some quite intensive research and thought on the matter before I came to view I have now. I don't consider that before this I was the person you describe (or believed I was describing) and I certainly don't think of most spanking parents in that way.
  12. bumbledeb
    I used to be pro-spanking and indeed used to spank my own children, back in my unenlightened days before discovering there was any other way of doing things. Now, I am vehemently anti-spanking. The arguments for spanking seem to me to be nonsense. In many places spanking is illegal and there is not an upsurge of delinquency as a result. I know the die-hard spankers may not be able to understand this, but it is absurdly possible to raise well-behaved, polite, kind, caring, non-violent children not only without spanking but without any kind of punishment whatsoever. That being the case, why spank? There is no good reason to do so. Perhaps the only reason left is that the spanker wants to use this means of child-control. Maybe all the spankings inflicted upon him/her in childhood didn't 'do no harm' after all.
  13. bumbledeb
    I absolutely love it right here. North Aberdeenshire, Scotland. The whole family think it is possibly the most perfect spot on earth. The climate is temperate and not unpredictable. There are no poisonous creatures. Low crime rate. Sparsely populated but towns within easy driving distance. (or for the athletically inclined, cycling distance) Good, fertile land. Beautiful scenery. Distinct seasons. Generally friendly and polite populace. A community that so far has not been affected by the economic downturn. When we've been anywhere and we are returning home, as we drive up the road that leads to our house, someone almost always remarks, "We are so lucky to live here." It's just so beautiful!
  14. bumbledeb
    Are you sure everyone is getting enough sleep? If that's OK, how about a glass of water or something first thing? Dehydration can make you grumpy and a good night's sleep can mean it's been too long without water. Rosie's juice idea is a good one too. My kids will spring out of bed for Coke. (not necessarily recommending that on a daily basis) With so many children, you may not find this practical, but I think it's nice to get each child up individually and spend a few moments snuggling or chatting quietly - giving good quality individual attention. Keeping it happy and friendly. I think I like the music suggestion too.
  15. bumbledeb
    I'm not sure about where you are but I believe that the kind of spanking you describe could be considered reportable abuse here. I certainly would consider it abuse. As was said above, anything that would be inappropriate in the adult world is, or should be, inappropriate for children. Clearly, with normal spanking, we are not looking at the possibility of physical harm, so in what way is it abuse? I believe it would come under mental and emotional abuse. There is really no necessity to spank, so why take the risk?
  16. bumbledeb

    Homeschooling is fine here. It's legal and no state interference or interest. (a while back they were supposed to make yearly inspections but no one ever turned up) As far as I know there are absolutely no homeschool suppliers, curricula etc. and I order pretty much everything from Rainbow Resources or Amazon.co.uk. I don't know how many homeschoolers there are here. I know of two other families in real life but there must be more. I used to subscribe to a UK internet homeschool mailing list but the constant complaining and quarreling got tiresome so I gave that up.

  17. bumbledeb
    :grouphug: Sorry you feel so bad. If it cheers you up...... I had a sneezing fit so bad on Sunday that I pee'd myself. (Don't tell anyone else.):)
  18. bumbledeb
    setting up a wormery
  19. bumbledeb
    ds 14 used to tell people his name was Buzz Lightyear. Another time, when he was about 4 and we were in Tesco and he was dawdling behind me, I was calling his name as I walked "Joseph" "Come on, Joseph" "Joseph!" He looked around the crowded aisle and said, his voice full of almost regretful patience, "My name is Bill."
  20. bumbledeb

    :seeya: Hi friend.:001_smile:

  21. bumbledeb

    I really like your responses to the thread 'Need some help from Christians in comforting my Dad'.

  22. bumbledeb

    It's more than 20 years since I ate hot dog. I threw up within five minutes of eating it, in public - didn't even have time to make it to a bathroom! I feel slightly queasy right now just thinking about it.:ack2:

  23. bumbledeb

    I always smile when I see your avatar. Cappyboppy is one of our family's all time favourite stories.

  24. bumbledeb

    Corn dogs.

  25. bumbledeb

    :lol:Doric-speaking, porridge and haggis eating, bagpipe loving native! (actually don't love the bagpipes very much......)

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