Thank you for all these helpful responses. Off to look into these suggestions.

Melissa, I honestly think it sounds like what you are doing right now is fine and she will grow out of it without any drastic consequences (time out and corner time sound drastic to me). Also, if you've already 'talk talk talked' about throwing I'd stop talking about it now. You can talk about something so much it gets built up into something much huger than it actually is. If you're too late to anticipate and prevent the throwing, just a simple "No throwing, remember?", every time will sink in eventually.

I'd be using it for a 9 year old and a 14 year old too, but they are all beginners.

Yes, sorry, read and responded in too much of a hurry. :) Seems like you're starting to anticipate when she might be about to throw something. Could you quickly intervene just before she does? Scoop her up in your arms saying something like, "I can tell you are mad, I bet you just want to throw something don't you?" and then take it from there? I think you do need to keep telling her that it is socially unacceptable to express frustration in this manner and that she will grow out of it sooner or later.

Would it be possible to provide acceptable throwing objects? (I've not done that, a repeated "No throwing in the house" was all we did.) Or, somewhere that throwing is OK? A wall she can bounce a ball from? What sorts of things is she getting this frustrated about? I'd try to minimize frustration in her life. It shouldn't be a daily occurrence.

I think your daughter sounds lovely. And so do you.:) I don't think she is being unreasonable about the Mii, or the bed. If I was going to be away for a night, I'd at least expect someone to ask if it was OK with me if they wanted to sleep in my bed. I'd feel a little miffed if someone just assumed it was OK. I'd say yes, of course, but I would want to be asked. I'd also not want anyone using my Mii, without at least asking first. Again, I'd say yes, because it doesn't mean much to me, but I can perfectly see how it could mean a lot to your daughter. Much older people than she would care quite a lot. (I hardly ever play the Wii, so I may be wrong, but isn't it possible to set up many different Miis, making it quite easy not to have to use someone else's?) I completely understand why you want to be obeyed out of love, not out of fear of punishment. I never punish my children, and they do obey me. They also love me, but I don't actually think that that is why they obey. They obey me because they believe that obedience to parents is required by God, and that such requirement is because of God's love for them. I don't think that most humans obey other humans purely on the basis of whether or not we love them. Your husband loves you, does he obey you? Would you expect him to? How about other adults with whom you have a loving relationship, is obedience expected as an evidence of love?

I live less than an hour from all my family and we would never move away. Other places have at times seemed attractive but we've never seriously considered moving. Our family is our life-long community and I want to preserve that.

Thank you, everyone. I've checked out all your recommendations and ordered a couple of things. :001_smile:

Does anyone know of a resource which would attempt to fit ancient history with Bible chronology? Creation of Adam at 4026 BCE. Ancient Egyptian and Mesopotamian culture arising after the languages were confused at the Tower of Babel?

I live in Scotland.:)

Congratulations!

Is it possible your dh could be suffering from mild or moderate depression? The negativity, dissatisfaction with your 'standards', lack of friends, long working hours and tendency toward short-temperedness are some possible symptoms.

I don't know if I can explain what I mean here ... but here goes. :001_smile: I don't think it's realistic for a 6 year old to be 'grateful' for the life you are giving her right now. In the future, yes, she will most likely look back and be grateful for all you did for her. But in the here and now I don't think it's possible. Yes, you can train her to verbally express gratitude and not complain (not that I think you should) but I don't think you can train her to actually BE grateful, not at this stage. Right now, I'd be inclined to listen patiently to her complaints and then calmly express your own take on the situation. You can tell her how it makes you feel to hear her complaining so much when you are trying your hardest to make things good for her. Take her complaints seriously. Maybe things would be better walking to the park until cycling is easier for her.

:grouphug: I know what it's like to be so tired you can't think. It seems like forever right now, but remember it won't be long till the baby is older and less draining to look after. Seems like its all the going out that is the worst. Just getting ready, getting in the car and traveling then the same on the way back really takes up so much time. Could you get one of the older ones to make a snack lunch to take with you that they could eat on the way home in the car so when you get back at least you won't have to worry about that? Also, during the traveling and waiting you could probably cover most of what's necessary school-wise for the 5 year old. One of them could probably handle all the laundry too, or they could take turns. They could listen to stories on an iPod or personal CD player or something while they do it. That can work for other jobs too.

'Nation' by Terry Pratchett 'Life of Pi' by Yann Martel 'A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian' by Marina Lewycka 'The Five People You Meet In Heaven' by Mitch Albom 'Slam' by Nick Hornby Not necessarily my all time top five, but my most recent top five and I think each one of them is a corker!

But shouldn't the people get some sympathy just for being that stupid?

Since he is into psychology, might there be a book or website that he might read, or you could discuss with him about how detrimental his conduct could be to the development of his siblings? It is very funny the way you tell it but I can well imagine the frustration for you and the other boys if this sort of thing goes on daily.

The variety he is eating right now isn't too bad. Are mealtimes generally a positive, happy experience for the whole family? Does he know that his eating habits are making you anxious? If it's any comfort, I had the world's pickiest eater at that age. He was actually scared to put anything in his mouth that he wasn't absolutely sure he already liked. He's sixteen now, tall, broad, very strong and healthy and eats a healthy variety of foods, including food he doesn't particularly like. He is conscientious about eating healthily and encourages his younger siblings to do likewise. I'd advise making zero fuss about this. Serve him food he likes. Set a good example yourself. He'll most likely grow out of it.

I think the suggestions you've had are really good and the things you mentioned doing already are fantastic. My children have often liked over the years, and especially at around your son's age, hearing the story of their birth and all the things that made it unique. I talk about how much I loved them before they were even born and how much I fell in love with them after. They like to hear me recount the details and the funny bits and emotions etc. I think it helps to emphasize to them how loved, wanted, unique and precious they are to me. They also love hearing funny or otherwise special stories of their infancy, maybe while looking through photo albums. I try to remember to tell them how each one of them makes my life better just by being part of it. "I love you"s and hugs several times a day are good too.

I just set up my bin - waiting for the worms to be delivered this week.

I am just sobbing and sobbing reading your post. I know exactly how you feel. I'm going to go now and finish crying and hug my kids.