Jump to content

Menu
Giving You and Your Child a Road Map to the Best Possible Education
The Well-Trained Mind Community

bumbledeb

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    382

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Everything posted by bumbledeb

  1. bumbledeb
    :bigear:
  2. bumbledeb
    Skye is gorgeous, I'm sure you will love it. Hope you get good weather. It does rain a lot on Skye but you can have a good holiday even in the rain and at least the rain keep the midges away. :)
  3. bumbledeb
    My two girls, 9 and 5, are similarly inseparable. I don't think it's a problem - I'm glad for them. They have someone there all the time to talk with and play with. I hope it's a relationship that lasts for their whole lives. Your girls sound lovely.
  4. bumbledeb
    Yes, Scottish through and through:) I think your daughter will love her graduation present.
  5. bumbledeb
    Twenty minutes from where I grew up. In fact, now I come to think of it, twenty minutes from where my Mum was born and grew up too.
  6. bumbledeb

    That was a brave post of yours over in the 'Rude Adults' thread. Well said!

  7. bumbledeb

    :grouphug::)Thank you Carmen, for your kindness.:):grouphug:

  8. bumbledeb
    Hi, I voted on your blog and picked a few reasons, including 'other'. I started out homeschooling for various reasons but the longer I've been doing it, the more reasons I've found to continue. One of the biggest for me is that I just think it's healthier for families to spend the bulk of their time together, learning, working and living as a family unit.
  9. bumbledeb

    :)Thank you.:)

  10. bumbledeb
    Having given it some thought, I think perhaps that it comes down to the difference between bad manners and intolerable behaviour. What is bad manners (and in my opinion should be ignored) in one person's eyes may be intolerable behaviour in another person's eyes and would warrant intervention. The line between the two may be different for different people.
  11. bumbledeb
    No. I fully acknowledge that the child should not behave this way. The child's behaviour was wrong, ill-mannered. Children (and other people) are often wrong. The child should have been instructed as to what are or are not acceptable manners, by his parents. My point is, again, that it is the child's parents' duty to carry out this instruction. A child displaying bad manners in one's home should be treated (I think) in the same way that an adult displaying bad manners should be treated. Sticking to issues of manners only and not potentially dangerous or destructive behaviour (for the sake of this particular discussion), children should be shown the same manners by their host as adult guests should be. That would, in my opinion, include NOT drawing attention to the failure of their own manners. I believe that when a person shows that they are ignorant of certain points of good manners, the polite thing to do is to pretend you didn't notice. Age has nothing to do with the matter.
  12. bumbledeb
    I don't think I do have terribly strong opinions on this particular matter, but I do have opinions. I meant to say that I would not be up in arms if another adult corrected the manners of one of my children. I would not confront the parent or anything. I wouldn't lose sleep over it. I didn't think this thread was about parenting. It is about manners. I think most of what I have said would apply in a situation where it was an adult guest displaying an ignorance of good manners. I do believe children should be taught good manners. By their parents.
  13. bumbledeb
    I think, (in fact I know because we've discussed it) that my children understand that different families have different standards and that just because other children don't always show the same good manners that my children do that doesn't make bad manners OK. There is no mixed message. They are also learning how to be polite hosts. The pool example is something different from manners though. The safety of a visiting child IS your responsibility (though their manners are not, in my opinion).
  14. bumbledeb
    I completely agree with you, but I'd substitute the word 'parents' for 'adults'.:)
  15. bumbledeb
    Just so you know, although I'm fine with it in my own house, my children, even the youngest, are well aware that it is NOT good manners to jump on other people's furniture. And as far as I know they never, ever have. If they did, I wouldn't be deeply offended or anything if their host reminded them of their manners. It's not an issue that I have terribly strong feelings about. But I would never want to make a guest feel embarrassed in my home.
  16. bumbledeb
    Well, as I said, I had a picture of small children jumping on the sofa - I don't think it would be an issue with an older child. I personally don't mind if small children jump on the sofa - especially if they are visitors and will be leaving soon :lol: so I'm trying to imagine some other thing they could be doing that I WOULD mind. The point I keep getting hung up on is that manners are manners regardless of age and that it is bad manners to point out some other person's bad manners. I'm not necessarily saying a good host would 'just let them do it', but that a good host would find a way to handle the situation without humiliating the guest or making the guest feel ashamed.
  17. bumbledeb
    I do not believe that the host has any greater responsibility to be polite than does the guest. In my opinion, both guest and host should display good manners. When either guest or host are impolite the other should continue to be as polite as possible and this would include not drawing attention to the bad manners of the other. The only possible difference I would allow for the age of either guest or host would be to say that it would be all the more important for the adult to show good manners, taking into account the lack of experience of the child, and the possible advantage to the child of seeing a good example.
  18. bumbledeb
    They should already know. Their parents should have made sure they knew this was bad manners before they ever let them be a guest in someone else's home. If the host corrects a guest's manners it is a clear indication that the host believes the guest's manners are lacking. To express this belief is bad manners on the part of the host, I believe. I'm not sure if the same approach definitely applies, since hitting a dog is somewhat more than simple bad manners, I think. However, for the sake of the discussion, if we consider hitting dogs to be bad manners comparable to bad table manners, then, yes, I believe it would be bad manners to make a comment to that effect. I think that well-mannered people do not draw attention to the failings of others' manners. I had in mind an image of a younger child jumping on the sofa or hitting the dog..... I certainly would agree that a 12 - 13 year old should know better than jump on the sofa or hit the dog. Just as an adult should. In fact I simply can't imagine a situation like that arising. However, theoretically, if such a thing should happen, I would react in the same way as if an adult was behaving like that. I would not take it upon myself to correct their manners - that, I believe, would be bad manners on my part. If I didn't want my sofa jumped on or my dog hit I'd try to politely put a stop to the situation. Perhaps by suggesting an alternative fun activity. Like taking the dog for a walk or having a snack or something. As I say, I don't think this situation could arise. I'd most likely not invite the person back to my house. I think that there is no reason to treat a 12 - 13 year old guest with less good manners than an adult guest. Or indeed a guest of any other age. Our guests' manners are none of our business. It is up to people to inform themselves and their own children as to acceptable behaviour when in the homes of others. You may be able to think of more extreme behaviours that would be unacceptable. I think that at some point a line would be crossed. At some point it is no longer bad manners to ask that certain behaviours cease or that the person leave. This has never happened in my home, but I suppose it is possible.
  19. bumbledeb
    I love living right where I am. (Scotland) I feel safe, secure and happy and everything is just the way I want it. I wouldn't even like to live in a different county. :) To experience different cultures, we watch the TV.;)
  20. bumbledeb
    I understand your point of view - I've often heard things put this way. To be honest, if a visiting child was jumping on the sofa I wouldn't say anything. If they were hitting the dog I'd view that as a safety issue and would remove the dog. In fact the expression "In our house we __________" implies a criticism of what goes on in the guest's house, I think, and as such it is a phrase I would avoid. It comes back to my own manners. It is not good manners to humiliate someone, or imply that they are ignorant or ill-bred.
  21. bumbledeb
    I think that I expect that a child's parents will have explained what kind of behaviour is expected in someone else's home. I would imagine that it would be similar to the behaviour expected in the child's own home. If a visiting child were to do something in my home that I simply couldn't tolerate, perhaps something dangerous for example, I would say something. Not sure exactly what, it would depend upon the exact circumstance. I would try to leave the child feeling that I had been helpful and informative, not that I had been drawing attention to a failure in their upbringing. I would try not to embarrass or upset the child. The situation with grandparents and other close relatives may be slightly different. I am not a grandparent yet and haven't given much thought to how I will help in the upbringing of my grandchildren. If my children were rude in front of my mother, she would correct them. Not humiliate them, but she would remind them of their manners. But it's not something I would do with a friend's child. I want to set a good example to my own children. And, in my opinion, it is not good manners to correct the manners of a guest. I would not want my own children to think such a thing is acceptable.
  22. bumbledeb
    Looks like we all agree that it is good if people will eat as wide a variety of foods as possible, and include as many portions of vegetables as possible. It is also good when people exhibit polite behaviour, consideration for their host, and acceptable table manners. I think most of us agree that it is up to a person's parents to bring about these behaviours in their children. I think it is inappropriate to try to train other people's children, most especially when they are guests in our home. Our own manners we have control over. Having guests is a good opportunity to practice our good manners. This would, in my opinion, include not drawing attention to our guests' ignorance. When I have guests I try to make sure they will enjoy the food I prepare. I would immediately try to offer an acceptable alternative if I thought my guest was not enjoying their meal. I hope the age of my guest would not make any difference to my manners.
  23. bumbledeb
    :iagree: Sorry, Colleen, but I have to agree with Anne here. There is no doubt the boy showed bad manners and if I was his mother I would feel embarrassed and ashamed. One often overlooked aspect of good manners is that it is VERY bad manners to draw attention to another's bad manners.
  24. bumbledeb
    Hope you enjoy your breaks. We just had one and I thoroughly cleaned the whole house and got loads of seeds planted in my tiny greenhouse - it was so refreshing and I feel invigorated and raring to go! Do you plan to visit Skye? Dh and I went there on our honeymoon and camped wild in a one-and-a-half-man tent. Cosy!:lol:
  25. bumbledeb
    Hi there, and welcome! I found this on RaisingKids.co.uk - hope it helps. There are other sources of information on a Google search for home education legal Scotland
×
×
  • Create New...