This is a possibility. We could have someone come in and box it all up and supervise moving it to a storage unit. We could go back some time in the future to sort through it all. But, if one knows that someone's possessions are very important to them, I can see getting someone successfully out of the unit and into a car for a "vacation" without a bunch of stuff. I assume it will be helpful to have a subset of this stuff with us as it will be a comfort in the new facility. How do we get that packed up and out without upsetting anyone? But this is all secondary if I cannot successfully get them tot he new location. I am seriously worried about a gas station runaway attempt! Or a medical emergency because they won't allow me to admin meds.

I think a lot of the logistics involving their stuff will be dependent on their awareness at the moment. If I were moving them today, messing with their stuff would be very upsetting. They were/are a hoarder. Living in the facility has helped because they cannot go out and collect things and the staff requires some level of shoveling out the room on a regular basis. But they took as much as could possibly be stuffed into the unit, including furniture and a freaking grandfather clock! Then there is also a storage unit in the basement of the facility that is stuffed to the ceiling with more stuff. All of it is garbage, really, and most will have to be thrown out or donated. But someone will have to go through all of it because important stuff like family photos, jewelry, and sentimental items are all mixed in with garbage. Ideally, yes, we'd go through it all *before* the move and be ready to roll with no looking back. But realistically, touching any of it before we leave is likely to cause a LOT of distress. Especially if we are using the "vacation" excuse for why we are going on a long car trip. As it is, even taking whatever is needed to nest the new place is going to be difficult to collect. And as you say, state of mind will matter here too. The dementia is very slow moving in this case. The diagnosis was 5 years ago and while there has been decline, it has not been rapid at all. All of the people that currently visit are over the age of 80 and most have mobility issues. So, no one in that group could even help with packing things, let alone travel with us. And yes, my hope is that we hit to top of the waiting list as self-pay....before the full send down.

I did not even think of the possibility of anxiety-reducing medications. That might help. But I do worry about toileting. My person will not wear depends at this point. Can we expect normal sensation of needing to use the bathroom while on drugs like these? I think the timing of the move is going to be 100% based on waiting lists and won't have anything to do with what works for me. I don't think I have the manpower to caravan. There are really only three people I can involve (including me) and at least one of them will have to stay behind to deal with this person's large collection of belongings. So, I would have to hire someone(s). I just don't even know how to go about finding someone to hire! What are the search words I should use? And like other logistical things..... I realize a super early morning departure would be best but not sure that would work for the facility? To have any chance to missing the sundown, we would need to be on the road at 5-6am. Is it reasonable to expect a facility to work with us that early in the morning?

Any ideas of how to actually do the move? Is it a thing to hire someone trained to handle difficult dementia patients to assist and/or actually do the move? This person does not like *me* and so I am the least likely to be able to get them to cooperate.

This is not something the current facility does. I have been meeting with their care team about all of this and a move would have to happen within the targeted timeframe anyway because they do not do memory care (or skilled nursing) so my person would need to leave even if funding was not a factor.

Flying is not an option in this case. It would actually take longer than driving due to my remote location. And even if it were, I'd be even more nervous about bringing a potentially agitated person on a plane.

My person likes to look at family photos and videos. I bring my laptop and play video clips of her grandchildren or even funny reels. The handy part is I can show the same one over multiple visits and they get the same level of joy each time. Sorting things is always a hit. I have a large jar of coins that I sometimes bring so they can help me sort them by coin type.

Since this has been a hot topic lately, I thought I'd capitalize on that. While not legally named as such, I am functioning (via DPOA) as the sole guardian for an elder with mid-stage dementia. This person is elderly, is otherwise in decent health, and is currently living in assisted living 10 hours away from my home. The distance means that I only get eyes on them about 4 times a year. They are happy with the assisted living place where they currently live. However, they are also running out of funds and will only be able to stay there for about one more year. Their level of impairment is high enough that they would be eligible for a medicaid nursing home facility. So that will be the next move. They will not like this. At all. It will be a fight. What I am hoping to get feedback on is whether I should find a facility in the area they currently reside or move them to my location. Obviously, it would be FAR easier for me to supervise this person's care if they were in a facility near me. That is about the only "pro" which I acknowledge would be for my benefit only....and perhaps marginally for them as I can ensure they are being properly cared for. This person's memory is bad enough that they no longer remember when I have visited or called so my actual presence is not of any real benefit to them other than in the moment. Keeping them in their current area means that the few and rapidly aging friends and family that are still able to visit and/or take them out for outings can still do that. They would be close to their church and therefore church friends that visit and the pastor. They value this even if the visits are actually rare and get rarer by the day. The area has greatly superior medical care. And the big one..... It would not require a 10 hour drive to complete the move. That sounds like a ridiculous obstacle but is indeed the thing I am most concerned about. The person needs medications administered four times a day. They can be very combative about this. They do not give the nursing staff at their facility any problems but as soon as it is outside of the facility and involves anyone else, they have a track record of actively combating the person attempting to admin their meds. It is so bad, that the current "policy" is that they skip their meds when not at home. Since they only leave the facility for short periods of time and infrequently, this usually means missing only one dose, which we determined was an acceptable risk for the benefit of being able to go out. Even if we *could* do the 10 hour drive in one shot, from a logistical standpoint, we would not really be able to check into the new facility on the same day. So an overnight, either in a hotel on the way or at my home after the drive would be necessary. That is a LOT of missed medications and I am not prepared to deal with the consequences. Not to mention, most of the drive is through very remote locations, so no help is readily available. Flying is not an option as my remote location would mean spending even more time in air travel than we would in the car. And that overnight and drive also has me nervous because of how easily agitated this person gets during even much shorter outings involving things they very much want to do. This move, whether local or not, is going to be very upsetting to them and even if it weren't, persons with dementia typically struggle with any change in their routine. This would be the most disruptive thing to happen to them in years. I would likely have at least one other adult with me to help, but I have nightmares about what could happen during the sundown period, in an unfamiliar location, with a person who is being moved 10 hours against their will. I envision chasing them through gas station parking lots or waking up in a hotel room to find them missing. I am concerned that I just don't have the tools to handle this. Ideas? Thoughts? Both on what nursing home location would be best as well as any ideas on how to move an angry person with dementia when it involves a long car ride.

I did meet my goals for yesterday. It was brutal. I did a slow one hour trail run, Pliability lower back session, and went to CF last night. CF was a heavy lift day and the lift was a complicated one that I struggle with. I kept the weight lighter than necessary and focussed 100% on technique. I feel I made some progress in that regard. I have been very sore this week, mostly due to CF. Today's goal is to do Pliability and attend CF. I have already done my CF session. It was double under jump roping and a simpler heavy lift. I can only get about 6 double unders in a row so I am pretty slashed up. I even wore a long sleeve shirt in an effort to minimize the tiger stripes but I am still stripey. With the lift, again, I went lighter than absolutely necessary to focus on technique. I find Pliability to be a very nice break in my work day (I work from home) so I have no doubt that I will get that done later. To meet my goals for the week, I really should run today as well, but I have a long trail and hill run planned for tomorrow and given how sore I am, I think I will not run today. So, in order to meet my weekly goal, I will also have to run on Sunday. I lost three potential runs to a blizzard early in the week so it was mostly out of my control. I did see some brave souls running in that weather, but the wind alone was enough to scare me off. I like to leave Sunday as a rest day so I will have to choose between getting rest or meeting my goals. If I do a Sunday run, it will be low and slow. I will make that call after my long run tomorrow.

This is very interesting. I wish I had known more about this during my triathlon days. Open water swims were always more of a psychological challenge than a "race" for me. The plunging into cold water (while in a thick crowd of other thrashing and kicking swimmers) would take my breath away and adrenaline would course in. I would spend at least half of the swim just trying to get my breathing and brain under control. And that is exhausting so by the time I am calmed down and leaving the water, I would be very drained emotionally and physically.....which made getting my shoes on perplexing and balancing on a bike amusing. It all wears off after a few bike miles but I was never prepared for the toll cold open water takes on you.

I had it done 15+ years ago and I have not looked back. I was told it would "last 10 years or so," but it seems tone holding just fine. I did start needed reading glasses around age 45 or so. I did not know of the cataracts thing! That is troubling. But I have to say that 15 years of being able to see free of glasses or contacts has been wonderful. It would for sure be worth a consult.

I would for sure follow their advice. I care for someone with dementia that lives in a facility. They are not impaired enough to be in memory care yet and does still leave he facility for some family and church events. Even at this stage, I often question whether the good of an outing outweighs the bad. They almost never remember attending but seem to be nervous during and for hours after outings. Take lots of photos and go visit with some cake, a party favor, and a laptop with the photos.

I met my goals for yesterday. I did a slow one hour run with focus on uphills, 20 minutes of Pliability exercises, and went to CF. CF was running sprints and I am bad at sprints. It was really hard but I did keep up. Today's goals are pretty much the same. One hour run, Pliability, and CF tonight. CF is heavy lifting today so no worries about running twice again. It is a complicated lift that I struggle to do properly so I will be lifting lighter and focussing on technique. My legs are barking a bit after the double runs yesterday so I am going to aim for a flat run today.

I find it difficult to drive 4x4 vehicles because when I am in a situation in which I need 4WD, I don't want to have to focus on remembering to turn it on or being caught off guard in a RWD fishtailing vehicle because I forgot that I am not in 4WD. And I'm old enough to remember having to pull over to turn the 4WD on at the wheels. That was fun. The flip-side is an issue too. More than once, I've accidentally driven many miles in 4WD because I forgot to change it back. This is less of a factor in location where one does not need 4WD often, but for me, I need 4WD almost every time I go anywhere between November and May so the less I have to think about, the safer I am on the road.

Unless you are doing serious technical off-roading, they are basically the same except AWD is always on whereas you have to turn 4WD on when you want to use it.

A few general comments..... Yes, the CRV, RAV-4, and Escapes are all AWD or have versions that are. I live in a location where this is essential. The tow limit on all three can be as little as 1500#, which is still fine for a small trailer. We pulled a small camper with an older CRV all over the country with no problem. I also loaded the entire trunk up with mulch and topsoil annually. However, there are engine versions of the RAV-4 and Escape that tow at higher limits. Our current Escape is 3500. Not sure on the newer or hybrid CRVs. The Highlander and Pilots are kind of in between those and the 4-Runner. I find them both still a bit too big and gas hoggy but FAR more comfortable than the 4-Runner.

I don't own one but two people close to me have them and I have borrowed one of them for a week at a time. I do not like them. At all. Super clunky and the technology seems way behind. They are also hard for me, even as a tall and spry person, to get in and out of, especially the back seat. I also think that the cargo room is paltry considering the size of the vehicle. We love the CRVs we have had and ours will tow small trailers. The cargo area was much more ample in the older models but even the new ones are not bad and not much less than the 4-Runner. The RAV-4 and Ford Escape also fall into this category.

I did my Pliability session yesterday and attended CF last night, as planned. CF was HARD with lots of push-ups and pull-ups. Putting my shirt on this morning was tricky. Today, it has stopped snowing so I will do a one hour slow run, do a Pliability session, and attend CF tonight. CF is running sprints tonight so that will be two running workouts today which means I will take it very easy on the first one. I would normally not stack two runs in one day but have been benched from running since Saturday due to the blizzard and am eager to get back to it. Plus it is SUNNY and I want to be out in it.

I have never joined one of these threads but was thinking it might be nice to have some accountability outside of myself, so here I am! I am starting with a LONG background (in case you want to skip) ****Background start**** I am 48yo and took up endurance sports at around age 35. Specifically nordic skiing, running, and triathlons. Before that, I was an avid skier but tended to slack in the off season....which prompted me to take up running and triathlons. All was good until one year ago when I got Covid (for the first time) and things went downhill quickly. I happened to be coming off of a two week vacation right before that so my training was already jacked when I had to take 10 days off for Covid. The recovery was not swift and I experienced issues with heightened heart rate and breathing problems. I had been training for a half-marathon during this time and knew I would need to take it super slow. But even with being cautious, I managed to fall on a slow trail run and injured my leg and shoulder during one of my first runs post-covid. The recovery was very very slow and I was still limping two months out. My race season was almost completely cancelled. I managed to eke out one 5-mile race and it was almost as hard as my worse marathon. I stuck mostly to the pool due to my injuries but was not super consistent (the pool schedule is a scattered mess), was losing stamina, feeling sluggish at all times, and really down in the dumps. I was camping with friends two months post-fall when someone pointed out how much I was limping still. I was just so used to the constant pain at that point that I didn't really think much of it anymore. It was that comment that made me realize I was at a critical junction. Comparing the then-me the the one-year-prior-me was a stark reality check. I went from regularly pounding out 10+ mile training runs to driving my car to the campground bathhouse. I had gained weight, lost muscle, and was generally feeling hopeless. I knew that I had two choices....allow myself to continue to sink into unrecoverable decline or fight my way back aggressively. So, I decided to make a plan. I had already been to two chiropractors to try to address the injuries. A friend on that camping trip told me of a practitioner that does trigger point massage. I was skeptical but willing to try anything at that point. She is impossible to get into but my friend had an appointment coming up and he offered to give it to me. I went and that was a game changer. I will not say I was 100% fixed leaving that appointment but it was the first noticeable improvement so I got very hopeful feeling. I got into the pool on a dedicated basis while doing more research. I had known for years that straight-up endurance training is probably not sustainable as I get older. I knew how important strength training is for bone health. And I also acknowledged that my fall was not the first one I have experienced, just the worst injury-wise. And to maybe minimize the effects of falling (trail running and skiing mean some falls are inevitable), I should probably consider adding strength, range-of-motion, and balance training to the endurance training. I wanted to at least crawl my way back to where I was before everything happened. The next step was joining CrossFit. Again, I was super-skeptical. I have not heard anything good about this type of training and am not at all the "gym rat bro" type that I associated with CF. But, I had 5 (very not gym rat bro) friends that were avid members that egged me on until I tried it. You have to go to 6 one-on-one sessions with the coach to join so as I worked through that, I realized our particular gym does not fit the stereotype at all and that lots of members had joined to address the exact same concerns I had. I was in such bad shape at that point that I had to heavily modify almost every activity, but the coach was super knowledgeable and helpful (which I know is not true for all CF gyms). I can still roll my eyes at some of the CF mentality and I do not hesitate for one second to modify a workout to make sure it is not risky for me, but I have to say I am sold. I go 5 times a week. That was the launching point. I was able to string my small physical gains at CF into longer, faster, and pain free training runs and I was quickly able to stack them back-to-back. Then ski season came and I was still below my normal pace but found my increased strength and balance (from CF) made hills (up and down) easier, and surprisingly, my stamina increased. I was able to go longer distances even if a bit slower. The speed increased and by the end of the season I raced a 25km with a PR pace, winning my age group (which is saying something....middle-aged nordic skiers are some of the fiercest athletes I know of). The last piece of the puzzle was flexibility. There is a lot of stretching in CF but I was not making progress and some of my limitations with CF workouts were due to lack of flexibility. I also was worried about injury potential due to limited range of motion. So, I added a beginner yoga class in January. We don't have a lot of options where I live so I could only find one class a week that I could attend. I enjoy it and continue to attend but needed more. I talked to my CF coach and he suggested the Pliability app which provides daily really looooong, mostly passive, range of motion exercises that I do at home. This might be the best addition to my training plan and I saw improvements immediately. The best one being much quicker recovery after a tough workout or training run/ski. It has been 4 months since I started yoga/Pliability, 9 months since I started CF, and 12 months since I got Covid. This is a really important month for me because it is the point in which I compare myself to where I was one year ago, how far I declined, and how far I have crawled back up. ****Background part over**** So, now after that LONG background, my general training goals are: 1. Attend CF 5 times a week, M-F 2. 1+ hour endurance training 5 times a week 3. Yoga and/or Pliability 6 times a week I am flexible around illness, travel, weather, and other factors but do try very hard to maintain as many of my goals are possible around those events. Like, I will attempt to get in my runs and even find a local CF gym to drop into during travel but won't allow that to impact any fun plans or other people. It is currently snowing heavily where I live but the ski trails are closed for the season. I am in running mode now but Sunday, yesterday, and today would be unsafe and very unpleasant running so I will have to adjust my goals accordingly. So for this week, I only expect to get 4 runs, instead of 5. So, my goal for today it to attend CF and do my Pliability workout.

We did 1100 sq ft for three people, one of whom works from home and another homeschools. During Covid, it was not enough, but otherwise was fine or even too much. So, I'd say 350/person is probably more than ample. It is a very old house so there is almost no easily accessible storage, however, the attic is pretty much-limitless storage but cannot be accessed year round. So we do have to do things like box up off-season clothing/gear for semi-permanent storage and greatly minimize things like linens and kitchen gadgets so that everything has its place. We are down to two people and I still would jump at the chance to add a bathroom. It seems like even with just two of us, we seem to need to use the shower at the exact same time. It was WAY worse with a teen girl in the house. I will say that I do require a boot porch in our climate. We have one and it saves on interior space. Most people around here do have one but for the few that don't, the space of cold-weather "staging" (boot/coat/accessory storage, putting on, taking off, and drying) eats up a lot of real estate.

We are pre-bee season here and are currently experiencing a blizzard. But we do have plenty of birds. And they wake up and start birding at 5am. And I am still not used to that.

It happens all the time where I shop because it is a super small store and you are pretty much all one happy family once you are inside. But I also have this happen on errands in general. I tend to save up errands and do many all in one shot as I don't always have a car available to me. It seems like I will get into the same errand loop as another person and we find each other over and over. First the post office, then the co-op, then the regular grocery store, etc..... This happens as frequently as once a month and I often actually know the other person. Like, just today, I got on the same errand loop as my dd's ex-boyfriend's mom! I figure there are finite variations of the routes between things in my small area and that most people have optimized them the same way.

It's basically a regular hummus recipe except that you grill everything that you can (garlic, lemon wedges, and chickpeas) as well as the beets, which will need to be slow-roasted. To do that, wash the beets really well, poke a few times with a fork, cover in oil and salt, then wrap in heavy duty foil. Place in the coals at the bottom of the grill. You will know when they are done by poking right through the foil and into the beets with a fork or skewer. This can take 45-60 minutes. Let cool, remove skin, and toss into the food processor with the other ingredients. When I am making this side, it seems overwhelming, but really it's just mechanics. I rarely am making it to eat at that time. Like, we will be having a grilled pizza night but I will start by getting the beets into the coals and grilling up the chickpeas, garlic, and lemons. I set all of that aside then continue to make the actual meal (pizza), letting the beets continue to roast in the coals. After dinner, the beets should be cool enough to handle and I can finish the hummus for later eating.

I do a lot of canoeing. Leggings should be fine. If you have wool or full-synthetic, I'd go for that. Quick-dry hiking pants would also work. I wear sandals and that is just fine. For colder trips, I actually use my tall rain boots and bring my sandals. A hat with a brim will keep the sun and horse/deer flies at bay. Maybe add a bug net if you will be in an active area. Nothing in the world is worse than being trapped on a tiny boat with 20 of your closest deer fly pests. Keep your life jacket on at all times. I use biking gloves to prevent blisters on my hands if it has been awhile between paddles. 10 miles will go by quickly, unless you are in open water going against the wind/current, so I would probably not even bother with a change of clothing. If you do bring things you need to keep dry, use gallon ziplocks, toss them all in some sort of bag, and TIE that bag to the boat in case you dump. I like to have something to rest my knees on if there is any chance the planned path will be wavy, windy or has rapids as you will have to get low and paddle on your knees. My old knees can't handle that without a cushion anymore.

Yep! Drain and rinse, then toss with a little oil, salt, and other seasonings (smoked paprika is our favorite), then toss into a grill basket and shut the lid. Once they are crispy and lightly charred, they are ready to eat. Ours almost all end up being consumed while we are making other parts of the meal. Of by some miracle there are any leftover, they make an excellent snack on their own and are pretty divine and salad or soup toppers. When I am feeling super ambitious, I will make extra and also grill lemons, garlic, and beets to make an incredible hummus. Leftovers should be stored in the fridge.