Hey now, someone has to ensure the health insurance CEOs keep their annual $50 million+ individual compensation packages (note: those packages are based upon the CEOs exercising their stock options)......they are rewarded when the stock price goes up, due to profits increasing. IOW, the more you pay, and the less the insurance pays, the more money the CEO (and other executive levels) earn.

If she can speak for herself then why are you inserting yourself into the conversation? I would say taking digs at my spouse counts as unnecessarily antagonistic, including your sarcastic referral above. Again, you regard yourself as the proper judge for what is considered necessary and unnecessary with other people's posts. I'm guessing 'necessary' are only those that don't contradict your strong opinions? I have just as much right to post here as anyone else, including the right to defend myself against those who attempt to repeatedly strawman me. **************************** ETA: My original post on this particular topic included the words, "In our experience" which meant (shockingly)....in our experience. Also implying that there might be other experiences, which I then followed with the sentence, "I can't speak to....".

Sooooo....you're policing for Lecka now? Since when were you appointed judge & jury of what is necessary and what is not? And it's apparently ok for Lecka to misquote me to the end of the earth & back, but I'm not supposed to be direct in my response? And your response isn't snippy at all. LOL. Why are you so worked up about this?

My response was to Lecka, who made a long post going off on things she apparently thought I said that I didn't. Why are you quoting my response to her? I'm not even sure what the point of your first sentence is. I never said anything about the risk profile of H&M. I am unaware of any private people who have revealed specific kill numbers to great fanfare & celebration, but that wasn't the point of my post anyway. I never claimed that no one else here is married to someone (or had themselves) received military honors and am confused as to why you even think me posting about my husband (which was to prove that he wasn't some desk-riding non-soldier, as Lecka was suggesting) would imply that? That's just....weird. Did I miss the announcement that today is the "put words in other people's mouths" day? ETA: And, BTW, my first post never mentioned my husband's rank, or that he was an officer, or that he was decorated, so your hang-up with my "highly decorated spouse" didn't come from that post....once again, you are deflecting responsibility for your own emotional reactions by reading things that aren't there. And, once again, the only reason I posted about his rank LATER is because Lecka directly stated that he must be a "pogue" or a "fobbit" - those are condescending terms, BTW, but apparently completely acceptable to those oh-so-concerned about anyone being "unnecessarily antagonistic". LOL.

If you don't condone talking about "kill numbers" and you don't think people sit around "talking about kill numbers", why are you even disagreeing with me, as those two things were exactly the point of my post? I never said, or indicated, that officers (or enlisted) should "shut up and pretend everything is fine", nor did I indicate support for such a culture. How much of your life is spent responding to points no one ever made? I originally wrote here about my husband's career (he retired as a highly decorated officer), but, you know, the specifics are really none of your business, so I edited it out. So, no, he was never a 'pogue' or a 'fobbit' (nice terms you're using there, lol, for someone making accusations about me being condescending). SMDH. This day just cannot get any weirder.

What are you even talking about? I never mentioned, or implied, 98% of what you seem to think I did, so your post is not worthy of a response. But thanks for agreeing that talking about kill numbers is not OK and not an accepted thing.

My dh was career military, 26 years served, including Operation Desert Storm and the Iraq & Afghanistan wars. In our experience, no service members ever spoke about their # of kills. Not privately, certainly not publicly, and never, ever officers. I can't speak to how the enlisted (& perhaps some officers) serving constantly on the front lines might talk to each other, but there is a LOT of pressure/expectation in all ranks of the military to be discreet, about everything, all the time. For obvious reasons.

My issue is all of the factors (detailed in my post) which, when added together, meant that 22 months for this couple was (far) too short/fast. Any one of those factors, let alone all of them together, vastly increase the pressure on the individuals and families involved, and greatly raise the chance of relationship fractures. If anyone else has a situation that mirrors all of the factors I described, yes, I would say 22 months is far too short of a time period for marriage. If not, I don't really know that anything other than common sense (hopefully) should prevail.

IMO, this is the crux of the whole family breakdown. Harry married a non-British woman who (according to her) "didn't know much about him" (or, obviously then, the RF) upon meeting, and then the couple progressed (according to Harry), "from 0 to 60 like in the first two months". Supposedly, the first big rift appeared between the two brothers because William did advise Harry to slow down (to which Harry reacted furiously, automatically assuming that the advice was a sign of Will being personally or racially biased rather than perhaps a brother offering prudent caution & hard-earned wisdom). H & M then proceeded to have a $21 million royal wedding less than two years after their first date with M immediately becoming a **highly** visible member of the RF in a country where she doesn't know the culture or the monarchy. They got pregnant almost immediately, had the baby, and then soon after broke from the monarchy, barely 20 months after their wedding. I can understand getting lost in the romance of being "in love", but this isn't the timeline of mature and thoughtful decisions. And, a full three years later now, neither of them talks of anything else. Any neither accepts *any* responsibility for creating the train wreck detailed above. The break-up is all because (insert name) did/didn't do (insert item). And, now apparently Meghan is writing her own book of memoirs, publication of which will be assured given the success of Harry's book, so stay tuned for the next airing of grievances and much talk-show discussion about the fact that no one in Harry's family will take or respond to calls anymore.

Ugh. Her poor mother. I don't care how old your kids are, they're still not supposed to die first.

My perspective is that it could only be considered fair if William or Charles were to release a tell-all book, detailing what it was like to deal with Harry on a day-to-day basis over the last 30 years, especially the last six. That will never happen, of course, so we'll never know the perspective of father & brother, both trying (& individually struggling) to navigate the constrictions & limitations of the world's oldest monarchy, while also dealing with a son/brother who has a long history of being rash, hot-headed, and self-centered. My guess is that there is a *lot* left out of Harry's book that would be in Charles' or William's.

She also just wrote an Op-Ed, Prince Harry & the Value of Silence, (excerpts here and here), in which she described her regret & she also tried advising Harry on NOT doing tell-alls. I thought the following excerpts (I'm including some of the article commentary) were really relevant (& wise): {Davis, who is the oldest of Ronald Reagan's two children with Nancy, endured what she called the "huge shadow" of being part of the first family when she was in her 20s and early 30s}. "You don't feel like you exist as an individual," she said. "You don't feel that you are taking up space. You don't feel that you matter, and it's human nature to want to feel that you matter so you think, 'Well, if I just sort of open the floodgates and tell everything, then I'll take up space, then I will matter, then they'll have to listen to me.' "The problem with that is, the only thing that's taking up space is all the things that you're saying about other people." "My justification in writing a book I now wish I hadn’t written… was very similar to what I understand to be Harry’s reasoning. I wanted to tell the truth, I wanted to set the record straight. Naïvely, I thought if I put my own feelings and my own truth out there for the world to read, my family might also come to understand me better". Davis said she watched Harry's interview on "60 Minutes" on Jan. 8 and was struck by a particular moment. "The phrase that jumped out at me was 'my truth'. "As I said in this op-ed, that's a really narrow way of looking at things, and I did it, too. 'This is my truth.' But the full story is other people's truths also." "People generally don’t respond well to being embarrassed and exposed in public. And in the ensuing years, I’ve learned something about truth: It’s way more complicated than it seems when we’re young. There isn’t just one truth, our truth — the other people who inhabit our story have their truths as well."

I haven't gotten the book (& probably won't), but I've seen a lot of interviews, & the show, and they both now make me want to barf. I don't automatically take everything Harry says (or writes) as being automatically & completely true. That's an awful lot of faith to put into an extremely one-sided story. He is one of the most privileged humans on the entire planet and claims now to be oh-so-conscious of that, while still living in a $15 million Montecito mansion and flying in private jets. He rages on about the toxic RF but refuses to give up his royal title and is continually cashing in by revealing very personal details about his own family (we all know Will is circumcised now!). He was just on an interview the other night claiming that he/MM have never accused the RF of racism...."never". WTF? It's all very carefully managed gaslighting. And somehow he never mentions that Charles walked Meghan down the aisle at their wedding, or that William & Kate set up a joint foundation with the two of them right after the wedding. He & Meghan are *very* intent as setting themselves up as royals, and living as royalty...just the right kind of royals (they're not afraid to tear down the actual British monarchy & all those in it!), with the right kind of values (racism & mental health...watch them now give multiple media interviews & walk the red carpet for awards!), living in a place & with a lifestyle where they don't actually have to interact with anyone outside of their carefully selected media & entertainment elite. IOW, the Royal Family, w/o being the Royal Family. MM has been caught in several lies (available through google), including lying in court about the fact that she did provide information for the book, Finding Freedom. Her defense? She "forgot". Both are completely estranged from their families with the exception of Meghan's mother. Meghan cut her father off after he released info to the media....which is exactly what she & Harry now specialize in. But, really, they're different - they're the victims of all these people....always! Arrrggghhh....it's just all too much. And, at some point, all the media attention will end, and Harry will have to face the fact that no one in his family will ever speak to him again. They'd be too afraid to, for one thing. It'd be all over Hollywood in the next tell-all interview/book.

I highly recommend writing them an email (or letter) that is polite, caring & yet *very* to-the-point. Briefly list your concerns w/ reasons AND your boundaries ("in our conversation, you mentioned parking in our driveway. While I realize that comment may have been facetious, I need to clarify that neither I nor (hubby's name) can accept any guests staying for more than one week, whether in a camper or our household. As parents and partners, we must prioritize our own family's health & well-being, and we cannot accept additional responsibilities on a long-term basis"). My wording may be all wrong for you/your situation, but you really are gonna want to have this in writing. Stop letting your dad be in control of dropping a bomb like that and then dancing off. If something is bothering you enough for you to post on the board about it, you need to take back the steering wheel and course-correct. My guess is that that will be a new role for everyone. Last couple of suggestions: 1) if you can afford it/find one, get a good therapist who's skilled in family dysfunction....because your family already has a plan, even if they'll deny it...and that plan is that you are the backup. You are gonna need support in holding the line, cuz you're already wavering "I'll sound like a jerk"). 2) If you can't get a therapist, get Harriet Lerner's book, "The Dance of Anger: A woman's guide to changing the patterns of intimate relationships". It's older but it's really good at diagnosing family patterns and the pattern of reactions that follow attempts at change. 3) there have to be online support groups of other people who are facing unrealistic demands from parents & other family members. They can be a good touchstone for additional support. Google for them, maybe? Best of luck. That's an unpleasant situation.

Ugh. I feel for the average Chinese person facing all this. And….sigh. Because the # of infections occurring there is almost surely going to spawn new variants.

I've stayed out of this thread, but...I can't anymore. The whole "society is now normalizing child s*xual abuse" rather gets my goat, largely due to my own family history. I have an uncle who was repeatedly molested by the priest who regularly sat at his family's dinner table on Sundays. He's struggled to live a normal life for the past 30 years and now lives alone in an isolated cabin with little human contact. One of my mother's close friends lost a son to a particularly horrific suicide, a son who was repeatedly molested by a different priest in the same diocese. My aunt was a secretary for one of the Bishops who (it was later discovered) made it a habit to just move child-molesting priests around. I could continue but won't. I recently read an editorial in The American Conservative where the author openly claimed that the abuse that was done to the Native Americans by the Church over the decades was actually worth it, in a bigger picture kind of way, because, you see, he was sure *some* souls were saved through those years. Does anyone have any idea of the pain articles like that have on the survivors (and descendants of survivors) of those boarding schools? I do. I've done a lot of volunteer work with Native American organizations. I've heard some of the stories. The idea that there was ANY end result that could justify the torture and rampant s*x abuse that hundreds of children experienced is....nauseating. The point is: plenty of people from all walks of life have been more than willing to accept child s*x abuse for DECADES, using whatever rationalizations they told themselves at the time. And, no, none of that changes what Balenciaga is now attempting, nor should it change people's appropriate reaction to the ad campaign. But we can all stop pretending that it's something new, or that it's only coming from certain sectors of society.

Whole family had Covid in July. I was told to wait 3 months following Covid to get the next booster. We all had flu shots + bivalent about six weeks ago. DH was down for an afternoon (no longer), kids largely skipped through with sore arms, and I (who had previously been wiped out for 2-3 days from previous Covid shots AND who cleared my scheduled anticipating the same).....experienced exactly ZERO side effects. Not even a sore arm. 🤷‍♀️ I just had a replacement root canal done. I hate to say they are no big deal anymore, but....they really are kind of no big deal anymore (if you go to an endodontist, which I highly recommend). The technology they have now is way ahead of what they had even 20 years ago. I wouldn't let that impact the timing of vaccinations. I wouldn't worry about RSV as an adult. I would with a kid and would check with a doctor about timing there. A concussion is not something I would worry about in relation to getting a vaccination. It's an injury, not a systemic response to a viral invader. And I personally would wait to be vaxxed if I was taking an antibiotic. Not sure if a doc would say that, tho.

It’s more based on a list of foods to avoid and a list of foods (& some supplements) to actively choose, and lifestyle/exercise guidance). As well as a lot of info about how arthritis develops in the body. HTH

Osteo. Rheumatoid arthritis is a whole other kind of beast. Not sure if book would help with RA or not.

The book, Arthritis Interrupted: Featuring the Arthritis Healing Diet, written by an MD who battled severe osteoarthritis, completely interrupted (the title really is true) the osteoarthritis that hit me pretty hard at 40. More than a decade later now, I’m symptom free. Eta: I can’t link the book for some reason, but it’s still for sale on Amazon.

I'm unable to find where this article is sourcing their data (the links just take you to other -also old - NBC news articles). Even so, the "Percent of ICU beds used" is not really a meaningful statistic, as it doesn't matter how many beds an ICU has, it matters how many *staffed* beds they have....a figure that is usually much lower. And even staffed ICU beds are only one measure of how a hospital is faring, and doesn't necessarily correlate to how other departments - such as the ER - are doing. None of this, though, really matters (IMHO), as healthcare for most of us is very local, or at most regional, so it all depends on how the systems around you/yours are doing, and even that will vary over time. Staffing, I think, it certainly very serious, and, if it's not dire yet, there's a good chance we're headed there. More than 115,000 physicians let the field in 2021 (that's the equivalent of nearly 4 years of medical school graduates), part of the 20% of all HCWs that have quit the field since 2020. HC leaders can have it on their radar all they want, but the trained bodies have to be there to be hired, and we need to stop the flood of people exiting the doors. I'm sure many people are heavily focused on this issue, and hopefully we'll have forthcoming solutions. No one wants low-quality health care!

Hugs. Many of the HCWs in my circle are having actual panic attacks or other signs of severe mental stress around (or even at) work, too. There are just Not. Enough. Resources. (mostly of workers & beds, but also supplies & even some medicines), and they have to shoulder on the very real consequences of all that every day.

@wathe Its happening in the US, too. Flu hospitalizations are at their highest level in 12 years, and it’s early November. Feds just declared a flu pandemic and are preparing to deploy troops and ventilators if needed. (note: RSV and Covid are part of the issue as well).

That’s not the case (about the people, not the scientists) in the States. FWIW, I support continuing to in investigate the origins. But the people here who most want to “find the truth” also are (IMO) completely unwilling to acknowledge that it very well might be a case of a virus jumping from one mammal species to another mammal species. I have followed an herbalist (Stephen Harris Buhner) who said YEARS ago that coronaviruses were the most likely ones to dangerously mutate. (His book, Herbal Antivirals, has utterly fascinating chapters on the intelligence - demonstrated by their ability to constantly & rapidly mutate. His protocols have been more hit & miss for me, tho.) The whole “origins” topic just fits the bill of so much of what I observe happening now. Humankind wants to admit ZERO responsibility for f*cking up the earth. Therefore, (fill-in-the-blank) *must* be the fault of some other (ever-&-always-smart, even if evil) human(s). (and, in case it’s not clear, the above statements are not directed at any particular person, including you, AusMom.)

I am so sorry. Things like this are what push even more caregivers to leave health care. I'm not sure if this will comfort or further depress you, but I hear similar stories (not about peds specifically, but general hospital's insanely poor staffing levels, complete patient overwhelm, and overall shitty care (due to both of the prior issues), from the HCWs in my family/friends circle, whom are all located in different states. It's.....BAD. I've told my family, "drive different, live different, do anything you can to reduce your risk of serious injury or illness. The LAST place you want to have to be right now is in the hospital."