I feel like you've had concerns over fairness before. My kids are 18 months apart, so similar to your 5 and 7 year olds. Always, always, the younger has wanted to do more than the older. So, when we could, we let her do them. The older didn't care because he didn't want to do those things, and there weren't other things he wanted. Instead, he got more time with me. I remember in particular a class she had at a rec center with a small library. He and I would spend that hour in the library together - he was in heaven - an full hour at the library with mom without little sister around! It was great for everyone. Of course as they got older their interests diverged even more. There were periods of time when she had nothing to do while he was in a robotics club. She wasn't interested in joining robotics; there was no other activity available that she wanted to do. So she did other things like arts and crafts, writing stories, etc. Over the years it's probably evened out, or if it hasn't, it doesn't matter. No one felt life was unfair because one person had an activity and the other didn't. So, if she wants gymnastics and it is convenient and affordable for you, and you think it's a good thing for her, take her. And do something else with 7 year old. (BTW my daughter did start gymnastics rather late; she was way older than the other girls in the beginning class, so she felt rather awkward and out of place. Turns out she wasn't very good anyway. But we didn't know that at the time. So there can be good reasons for starting youngish, if there are no other concerning issues, such as money and time.)

I can't imagine dragging a 90-year-old woman out to buy a new dress when she has other dresses to wear, and I can't imagine the bride or the bride's mother caring. What is the concern? Are people going to be comparing photos of multiple weddings and be scandalize that grandma appears in the same dress twice?

Is he willing as in "sigh, OK mom, I'll go alone if you won't go." or willing as in "yay, I'm going, whether you go or not, see ya bye!" I'd push through my fear if it was going to be a big disappointment to my kid if I didn't go. But, if the kid didn't care, and I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't do it. My older kid loves thrill rides but doesn't like to ride alone. So my husband or I would go with him, till our younger decided she liked them too. Our last trip, the kids rode together and my husband and I got to watch. Some people are happy enough to ride alone; if that's the case, I'd skip it and let him ride to his heart's content. :-)

No advice here; I can only say that the last time I rode a big roller coaster was about 8 years ago, when I was 53 and 20# overweight. It was just tall and steep, it didn't go upside down or backwards - I've never ridden one of those. Anyway, I was terrified, much more so than on coasters when I was younger. But I emerged unscathed; just a little shaky. And that was the end of it for me. Never ridden again, happy I never have to. If I was inclined to ride one, the theme park might make a difference. A rundown place, forget it. Someplace really well kept up, like Hershey, would probably give me more confidence that at least the thing wasn't going to break down. (Now that I've said that, someone will probably link to a problem at Hershey. I'm not endorsing it. Just, from my experience, that is a well-kept theme park.)

I get you. But, I think so many women do this to themselves by not being confident in their choices. (I'm not talking specifically about the OP because I've no idea.) This is like many things that people do that don't have universal approval: homeschooling; not marrying, or marrying late in life; having lots of kids, or no kids at all; eating a certain diet; medicating, or not, for ADHD; breastfeeding in public, or not breastfeeding at all... the list goes on. Yet, people confidently do those things regardless of peoples' opinions. I had to defend myself against a relative recently for giving my kid ADHD meds. She felt she had some authority on the topic because she's an admin at a medical school. I told her the kid is under the care of a medical professional with expertise in the area, and that she didn't know what she was talking about. End of discussion. Pretty sure she still thinks I'm a bad mom for it. But I don't care. Why would I care? Why do women allow themselves to be intimidated? (I know it's complicated.)

Yeah. Well, for us it's the garage... which does not contain a car.

Praying for your family. :grouphug: :grouphug:

I agree with you. Though maybe they weren't trying to be cagey but just thought it would be fun to be different, and didn't get it that it would be confusing to guests. Do people really get offended at not seeing the actual wedding ceremony? I think unless it was a close family member (like one of my own kids); I wouldn't care about seeing the ceremony. I'm happy to be included in the celebration, but seeing them make their vows doesn't matter a bit to me. Invite me to the party, though! I remember a thread a while ago where someone wasn't invite to the actual ceremony (but was to the reception) and was upset, and it seems like a lot of people agreed that it was offensive. Maybe offensive isn't the right word. But, unhappy to be invited to only part. Once I was also invited to the ceremony but not the reception; that was pretty disappointing, though I didn't find it offensive.

I don't have an answer for you; just bumping this because I'd like to know too.

It depends on the kind of key you need. I'm dealing with this right now. We just bought a used car and the owners had only one key. I went to a lock shop to get some spares and they said the car requires a programmed key. I forget the word for it. It's not just a key; there's a chip in it that is required to start the car. (A regular key would open the door, but that's all.) The cost was $90. A key fob with the remote to open door, etc., would have been more. ETA: transponder. It communicates with the car in order to start it. Anti-theft device I guess. But, it's not an optional special key. ETA2: My husband and I were talking about this tonight. He said that all the newer cars have the chips or transponders. I hadn't known that; we have always had old cars that just used a regular key. I didn't know that our CR-V had a chip in it. He said in our area $90 is not a bad price and the dealer would charge at least $200.

OK, that all makes sense. I just wasn't thinking of it that way. Which is funny, because I am usually a slippery slope kind of person about other things.

This sounds very good but awfully sweet with all that sugar. I would be inclined to skip the syrup altogether. There are similar recipes online that have different proportions of ingredients, and no maple syrup.

Interesting. How can a recommendation be an attack on anyone's freedoms? (I know this is straying from the OP.) If there is good science behind it, people ought to know. But there is nothing to enforce a recommendation, so what does it have to do with anyone's freedom? Is this similar to complaints about recommendations to breastfeed, which apparently upset some women who, for various reasons, didn't (plan to) breastfeed? Just another thing I don't get.

But wait a second. If even one glass of wine could be dangerous, even in the very earliest stages of pregnancy, why aren't all women of childbearing age who could get pregnant (basically anyone having intercourse with men) advised to abstain from all alcohol? Not snark, I'm wondering about this now.

FWIW, when I was in the very early stages of my first pregnancy, I skipped the wine at a dinner with friends without explaining why. Later, when we told our friends I was pregnant, they high-fived each other and said they'd guessed that night, but didn't want to say anything. I don't have an opinion on whether the OP should or shouldn't drink, but I wouldn't take co-workers' comments into consideration. At various times in my life I've refused alcohol for various reasons. No big deal.

I have often thought this way, how nice a separate space would be. But when I really think it through, what I really want is just a living room with something like a mini-kitchen of my own. A place I can have people over without having to nag my husband and kids to clean up and also without disrupting everyone. Our house is small and a poor design so to get anywhere in the house one must pass through the living room, which is the only room suitable for guests. Oh it would need a powder room too. (We don't have a separate guest bath.) It could also be my retreat. I think the name is dumb, but recently I've seen "she sheds" (link is to Country Living magazine) which are the answer to the man cave. One of these would do nicely! Though I would want plumbing and electricity. I'm happy to sleep with my husband, though there have been times I've had to escape to the couch due to one or the other of us snoring, or my frequent leg/foot cramps.

I don't know how I forgot about the Berenstain Bears. I don't think we ever bought any but a lot came home from the library, till I realized that the books promoted the stereotype of the doofus dad and wise mom in every story (or at least the ones I read). Maybe the dad was also mean in some? Don't remember. But I told my kids they weren't allowed in the house anymore and explained why. We aren't big Disney fans here. But we received a valuable (unintended) lesson from them. I bought my daughter a storybook from Costco once. It had short, insipid versions of the fairy tale stories. A few months later, we saw a "new" storybook in Costco, and my daughter wanted it. We flipped through the book together and she could see they were all the same stories, just repackaged to seem like a new book. She was so angry, and that was the end of Disney books for her.

Yeah, I'm puzzled by that comment too. I've been thinking about it quite a bit today. Comparing my two marriages, and also some pondering long-term marriages I have seen. My parents, in-laws, other people I know. They are some big differences, at least to me, an outsider looking in. I can think of some people who seem so happy and in love after 40, 50 years. Others who just seem rather tired. Among other things. Of course as an outsider I can't know for sure. But it's hard to imagine the 80-year-old couple holding hands and gazing adoringly at each other are putting up a front all the time I'm around them.

I didn't read that or any of the other pet death books. I just didn't see the point. My husband told me that it's so that kids will have "experienced" (in a way) pet death before it happens for real. Well... we have experienced a couple of pet deaths and they were horrible and traumatic... but I can't see how reading those books would have made them easier. My kids always knew they would outlive the fish (for sure!) and the dog.

It is a polarizing book. Check the Amazon reviews sometime. :-)

Love You Forever. Also several of the Little Golden Books series, but I can't think of any titles right now.

See, I think it's fine to say "I don't have any direct experience with [whatever issue], but I have known of people who have and this is what I've learned from talking to them." Or something like that. I married stupidly at 22. My parents had concerns but didn't voice them till it was too late. I was divorced by the time I was 25. No kids, so in some ways not a big deal, but that was 3 years of my life lost when I could have been doing other things. If someone I trusted had said "hey, let's talk about this, maybe you want to slow down a little?" or something like that, I could have saved some heartache.

I have made these; they do freeze well and are pretty good, but check the seasoning - I didn't think about it while making them, and they were very bland. They needed some cayenne! But I also agree with Farrar - quick breads freeze very well and are nice to have on hand. Pound cake, too. Whole quiches or frittatas are good. The breakfast casseroles with bread, sausage, cheese, eggs and half and half (or milk) freeze pretty well, though to me they are never as good as the first day. Custards use lots of egg yolks, and whites can be used for meringues. But I think that egg whites also freeze better than yolks. But of course custards have to be eaten up pretty quickly.

We have had some rough spots when I guess you could say we don't like each other very much. When life seems overwhelmingly busy or full of stressors and we have to focus on unpleasant things, it's hard to think about being loving to the other person, and feeling loved by them. I'm like Quill; it's not worth turning everyone's life upside down. Anyone remember that advice columnist, Ann Landers? She would say, when asked about divorce, something like "would you be better of with him or without him?" I can always answer "with him" because overall, it's true. It might not be true for my happiness and contentment right now, but overall, yeah. And it's not like it's so bad that the kids would be better off if we split. It's more like "meh" sometimes.

I've had old seeds grow just fine. You can try sprouting them indoors first, to see if they're viable. Don't you just put them between 2 layers of damp paper towel or something like that? I feel like that was a science experiment we did in the early years.