Please know that if I could, I'd come watch your boys for you so you could go to an appt. with him. Wish I could help more...... Will just have to be content with sending you more :grouphug:

Okay, so when you find yourself in this "negative vortex", what are some things you do to pull yourself up and out? Let's make a list: Breathe, Pray, Meditate Go outside, listen to birds, look at clouds. Put the music on and dance (works better for toddlers than for teens- they just roll their eyes- ask me how I know) cook something (hot, spicy tomato sauce simmering on my stove right now) call someone, post here, Make art, journal, create something What else??

Have they checked his thyroid levels? This is always my first question in situations like this. Wish I could offer more, but know we are thinking of him, and you. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

I don't know exactly how, but I know that you will. And so will I (not the preggo part, but the making it through part, lol). We will let ourselves have the yucky feelings, but not focus on them too much. We will remember and focus on all the good, and the positive, and the love that is there. Because deep down, we know it is there. Hang in there baby, you can do it, and so can I. Thanks for posting- hearing that someone else is going through their own emotional heck helps somehow. We can make it though together. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

So why are teens so much like 2 yr olds, anyhow?!?! I will make sure I go outside, breathe the cool fall air, and spend time in the studio.

I remember these kind of days from when my kids were little, but ladies, these are teens we are talking about!?! They know better! They are old enough to get that I am under huge amounts of stress, I have explained the medical (thyroid) issues to them hundreds of times, and they are still acting horrible to me. I am finding it very hard to keep caring about folks that are purposefully treating me so badly, when they are old enough to know better. But, that said, I will take your advice to do whatever I can to get *me* through this day. Right now, I am off to a bath, then to the studio for a bit- I have a project that simply *must* get done this weekend. Today is piano lesson day, but after that, I can hopefully come home and get more art done. Thanks for the support. I do appreciate it.

Loved to Death posted this link for me on tapping last night. I have just started researching the videos and info on the site. Can I hear from others who have used this? And what they used it to help? Not sure what other questions to ask, just curious about this, and how many folks here use it, etc. Thanks, LB, who cannot remember ever being quite this stressed to the gills before.

and you let the folks around you know you are feeling small, that your buttons are way out, when you and they all know you are weak and vulnerable...... that is when they choose to poke, poke, poke. To do things they know will cause you to explode, or yell, or cry. Hit them when they are down, and all that. Why can't the folks that are supposed to love you best understand when you are not at your best, and give you the same grace you give them every day? I have to say, I never thought I would be feeling this way about folks that came out of my uterus (2 of them anyhow). It makes me sad and a bit mad at myself for not being able to control myself and my emotions better. Stoopid thyroid disease, and it's stoopid symptoms. Sigh. I know there isn't anything all y'all can do, but it helps just to put it out there. I will make it through this day, and I will not respond to the nastiness, rudeness, or anything else they throw at me. I will not engage, will not get on the roller coaster. I will have faith in me, and will just focus on what I can do, for me. I will engage in self-calming strategies (and on that note, maybe I should start another thread asking about this tapping thing that was suggested to me last night), and will remember to breathe. Just tell me I can do this. And that I want to. Sigh. Whimper.

So sorry to hear this. Know you are in my thoughts. :grouphug::grouphug:

Oh honey, I am so sorry things are yucky for you right now. Hang in there baby- it's sometimes all we can do. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Iron levels fine- have never been anemic ever before. I do bruise very easily normally. Thanks, and I, too, hope this stress level gets better soon- I am seriously worried about dropping dead from a heart attack, sigh.

For real? That is almost funny. Thanks for the info- I will look at that, and I may ask my dr. for a referral to the UW- I have decided I am going to call her tomorrow and just check in with her as to how I think the appt. with the hematologist went, and what she might suggest next.

I know- I sorta felt bad even griping a little bit about him, because after all, not having luekemia or lymphoma is such a HUGE relief! Really, I am feeling very grateful for that right now, but yeah, it still feels like something is wrong, and I am still worried and yes, feeling more than slightly crazy, sigh. Thanks for the hugs, and I hope things are all right for you too.

Have a recommendation for a ND from Jean in Newcastle, and for a nutritionist from Patty Johanna, and will pursue both of those once home from Dy's. Thanks for the hugs, I am doing my best to hang in. Hope you are well, too.

Y'all almost have me in tears with all your kindnesses- thanks so much for the prayers, good thoughts, and medical advice. I will follow up on the suggestions offered, but it feels good just to know all y'all are rooting for me. Off to bed now, and loving you back, LB

Hey all, Good news: We have ruled out lymphoma and luekemia- all my blood work is within normal range- platelets, white blood cells, etc. all good. Bad news: He has no idea- called the bruising weird, but doesn't have any idea what it could be. Ended up just short of saying it was in my head. Sigh. Insisted that I bumped something and didn't know it. Then had the gall to suggest that I was getting old and my skin was going to get thin like paper, causing me to bruise easily. At the end, I swear he was just guessing. A- I am 44. Not old. B- this is not regular old bruising like you get on your legs from bumping something. C. The purpura/petechiae (however you spell it) are on the inside/underneath my arm, where the only thing they could bump is a soft booKie. He told me not to call him unless it happened again and was significantly worse/larger. My regular doctor is not going to be satisfied with this (the Dude sure isn't), I don't think- she was quite concerned. I will work with her more, and will also be seeing a nutritionist and an ND. But for now, I will just watch it, and will work on building up strength in my core/trunk/arms. That is all I know for now- my head is spinning, and I am plum tuckered out. Thanks for the prayers and thoughts- the Dude and I still feel like there is something going on with my immune system, but for now, this will have to do. Any other thoughts as to future things to look for or anything like that are still appreciated.

Think good thoughts for me around 4:15 today, if you would be so kind. I am headed to the hematologist then. My Dude doesn't think he will be able to join me, I am secretly hoping he will be done with work early enough to be able to get there. I have done what all suggested here and done my best to focus on other stuff all weekend, but am still very concerned and feel like I just *know* something is wrong. Trying to ignore that 6th sense, but it is hard. I hope I am mistaken, I really do. Please pray (good thoughts) for me to be able to successfully advocate for myself today, Dude or no Dude, and also for the Dude to be able to join me at the appt. after all. I am hoping for no panic attacks in the parking garage this time, but if I do, I will call someone- promise. I will also write a list of my concerns/symptoms before I go. I have to work from 2 to 3:15, and then will be headed to the appt at 4:15. Thanks for your support, and for not making me wrong for being freaked out. When did I become such a nervous nellie??

I think our Mamas must be long lost twins separated at birth!!:lol:

I didn't read the other comments yet, but here goes: My mom is 78, blind, and very very CRANKY all of the time. She complains constantly, fights me over taking her pills, is causing herself to have dementia by not using her brain, is never satisfied with anything or anyone, and threatens suicide often. I have to really work on not "getting on the roller coaster" when I am being her caregiver. It can be very hard. I really work on loving her no matter what, accepting her for who she is AND who she isn't, and do my best to understand how sad and frustrated she is. Truth is, I treasure my time with her (2 to 4 hour stints 3 to 5 times a week), even when she is acting witchy. My sibs don't get it, and don't see her much, and think I am nuts for saying how much I enjoy spending time with her. Remember that grace and love are your best tools of defense here, and practice your breathing- it really helps keep the parent-induced headaches at bay. Hugs, and hang in there, LB

bumpity bump

I am considering this. I am already a certified care giver, but am now considering the training to become a CNA or RNA. As a nursing assistant, I can administer drugs, and other tasks that I am not allowed to do as a caregiver, and make several dollars more an hour. I am 44, both my kids in an online high school, my Man travels for his work, and right now, I am piecing together full time work by having several part time jobs. So I feel it is a bit crazy time to make this choice, but...... seems like it would be worth it. THis is one of the things I will be mulling over and researching while I have my working vacation in AL later this month.

bump

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Not sure what you mean, Peek, but I'm up for it!

If you put a light in there with them, it can help them to start laying during the winter. You may not get any till spring, but you may with a heat lamp.