Checked all nine boxes. Severe allergies and sensitivities here.

My dh is 8 of 10- also 20 years from youngest to oldest with no multiples. I am 5 of 6, but not all from the same parents. My parents had 5 marriages between them, both bringing 2 kids to their marriage, then had my sister and I. My mom also "adopted" 2 older teens when I was younger. It never occurred to me as a kid that there was such a thing as a big happy family, or to my dh- there is a definite reason we stopped at two.

:D You're funny!

I was a late talker, and was extremely shy. I had such problems with stuttering, and the way the other kids and the teachers treated me did not help. I stopped talking when I was in 1st grade, and had issues with selective mutism till I was 11 or so. I really agree with folks that putting a child with social anxieties or other "abnormalities" for lack of a better word, is like throwing them into the deep end. I know my situation would have been so much less stressful, and healthy had my folks and teachers treated the situation a bit differently. When my father and first grade teacher decided I should be right-handed instead of a lefty on top of everything else, it just about threw me over the edge. All this to say, that having them at home gives them time. Time they need to outgrown, or learn to deal with their differences. Not all kids thrive in a school environment, but I have met very few who did not thrive in a homeschool situation.

Yep. You can hear hallucinations, too. The latest one for me was when I woke up about a month ago, sure I was hearing my dd screaming for me in a loud upset voice. She hadn't. I do find back sleeping makes it worse. Having set bedtime routines, eliminating stress, and watching how much sugar I ingest all seem to help, too.

:iagree: I found this to be so for my dd as well. As a baby/toddler/ and preschooler we dealt with agoraphobia and severe claustrophobia; she was very pain-sensitive, was extremely shy, and had selective mutism as well. Add in extreme noise sensitivity and stranger anxiety, night terrors, etc. and you have a good picture of what she was dealing with. I think allowing her to work through her issues at home really helped her. She was able to work through it at home in her own time, in her own ways. We still had playdates, were part of homeschooling groups, etc. so she had chances to practice her social skills, but always in safe environments, with me to help her if she needed it, and with other homeschooled kids. This kid also needed a whole lotta alone time. She had to have time to herself to recover from being social. I honestly think it made a world of difference for her. She is amazingly secure in herself now, and you would never know it was the same kid most days. She has come so very far. I also think learning about learning styles and multiple intelligences really helped me to help her- when I think of her as intra-personal as opposed to extra shy or anxious, it really makes a difference. I just accepted that this was the way she was, and tried not to look at her as being different or wrong. That was a lot more powerful for both of us. THey can get that at home better than at school, I think. My dh and I both feel that she would not have been able to "outgrow" her social issues nearly as well at school as she did at home.

Well, the ones in my back yard eat chicken feed, and kitchen scraps. It is pretty funny to watch them descend upon the chicken yard just after feeding time. The hens strut their stuff a bit, and tell the crows to go find their own food. The crows fly out of the chicken yard, and sit up on the fence, or on the clothesline posts, waiting a few minutes, then they fly down and feast on whatever the hens had for breakfast. They really do eat anything,as they are a scavenger by nature.

Just wanna thank all y'all for "listening". I feel less isolated now, like I actually got to go have tea with a few girlfriends. This board has such a good community feel. I am blessed.

Thanks for listening! Yeah, I use it every day. I start humming it just like Dory was doing....... :001_smile:

Yes, the WTM is a big blessing! Thank you.

Know that the calls are a BIG help, and very concrete to me. And yes, I wish you lived closer, too, so I could help you out once in a while.

:grouphug: back at ya. They help, don't they? And yes, lots of new beginnings. I think working with babies again will really help.

Thanks! I need to figure out how to turn the paint to live comment into a mantra too.

Yes, that is what the Alzheimer's support group says too- that I get the brunt of it because I was the one there every day and trying to make changes to her care. My mom has a huge pill story too! It mostly involves not taking them, unfortunately, which just makes her condition worse. Yeah, I hear ya. This part of it was really wearing me out. Although I miss her terribly, the 4 months break has really been good respite for me. I hate even saying that, but it has. And at the same time, yes, I just wish I could be with her. This was a major part of my motivation for caring for her at first- that the kids will see this as an example. And I will think about that- that there is gratitude and kindness in her somewhere. That one is hard for me, because of how dysfunctional and abusive she was *before* the demensia kicked in, but I will try to remember that. Thanks, Aubrey, and kiss all your sweet babies for me, kay?

Thanks. I am trying. After reading the original post again, I feel like I sound stronger than I feel, kwim? You help a great deal by listening. You've been there (on the phone, but there) through some of the rough stuff, and I really appreciate the way you listen and offer support without telling me what to do or making me or other family members wrong. You are a great listener, and it really, really helps!

Oh that group thing would totally help. Sounds like a lot of work when you have lots of friends, though.

Yep. I hear ya That's why I was *here* spilling my guts to y'all this morning instead of doing it on FB! I hear you, and am sorry you are having to deal with it.

Thanks for the shoulder. I feel like I shouldn't complain at all about him being gone, I know it has to be even harder when they are gone for long periods of time, but honestly, having him home for 16 yrs and then having him gone for much of the last 4 has been very hard on me. I didn't knowingly sign up for this, and it is just so new to be navigating all this stuff on my own.

I hear ya I would be very willing to take her on, if I had the support of my older sister, but without that, I just can't make it happen That is part of my sadness too I think. Also, how did your gram take care of someone who thought she was out to kill her? It has been impossible for me to even be around mom. My mom was not nice when she had all her brain cells working for her- she has a mean streak a mile long- the dementia makes it horrible. Gosh it feels better just to know you know about it all now. How funny is that. And thanks for the paint to live comment. I can do this, I can do this!

and it feels like there is so much going on in my life. I would just like to share. First off, the Dude and I are doing fairly well right now, and that really helps. He is traveling 4 to 5 days a week, which I really dislike, so when he is here, I sorta feel like his shadow, lol. I just don't want to be apart from him at all. He even goes to the grocery store with me, which he hates, lol. Now that is love! THe kids are ok. THe almost 18 yr old is not doing well in school, and still has some issues when it comes to how he's relating to me, but I am handling it better than I was in October. He just finished his speech and debate season, and did well, though not as well as he could have. I just do my best to find the good, and let him be responsible for himself as much as possible. It is extremely hard not to nag, but if I can just focus on being my own integrity, and not his, it helps. THe Girl is doing well in school, and rocking in piano. SHe is doing between 2 and 3 hours of practice a day, and it is really paying off. She is beginning to be backtalky and rude, but I am coping with it as described above and handling it well. The things I really want to get off my chest (because I am not facebooking them, so they feel kinda like secrets that no one knows I am dealing with, and I am feeling oppressed by no one knowing, if that makes any sense.) are as follows: My mom. She is completely blind now, due to the macular degeneration. In November, I tried to take her to the Dr., she threw a fit, assaulted me, and accused me of assaulting her. She has been delusional for the last 4 months, and I am her bad guy- she leaves death threats on my phone, sigh. My sisters have stepped up (FINALLY!), have been taking care of her (I have only seen Mom once since November, at a senior care lawyer's office), and are finally hearing me when I tell them what it has been like taking care of her singlehandedly for the last 4 years. SHe has been formally diagnosed with 2 kinds of demensia, and is in the middle of the evaluations for same. Big Sis is working on guardianship and selling of mom's house, etc. I help out behind the scenes, as mom really gets freaked out when I am at her house (because I sneak in and steal stuff and clean stuff behind her back, lol). So much so she won't leave to even go to the grocery store with my sis, cuz she thinks I am lurking around the corner just waiting for her to leave. THis has been a huge stress for me. We are working together to get her into a home, but it has been very hard. I am really grieving who she was, and our relationship. I am utilizing the counseling services and support groups of the Alzheimer's Assoc., but I still feel sad much of the time when I think of her. My younger sister is really freaked out by it all. She is planning a move to Eastern WA, no longer has my mom watch her son, and could live just fine with never seeing mom again. This adds another level to the stress my older sister and I are feeling with all the mom issues. I plan on visiting her once she is in the home, but those of you who know me, know I saw her just about daily, and really enjoyed her. This statement- that I am missing who she was, really makes my sisters shake their heads. We are all fairly upset that she (or the illness) won't let the natural caregiver in the family give her care. The Dude has been going through a major health diagnosis (Hep C), and is ok, but I am still absorbing it all. Grieving his health, too. Career changes: If you saw the post where I asked about postpartum doulas, you know that is what I am working towards. This is exciting, and will be rewarding, but right now is expensive and time- consuming, and a bit scary, making all these changes. I am also grieving the loss of my oldest client- my 18 yr old ECE and sewing student, whom I have been working with for over 7 yrs now. She and I have a very unique thang going on, and I will really miss her. I will also be quitting all respite care, including the before school care I do for my 11 yr old neighbor boy. His mom is in prison, so I feel badly for quitting, but his dad only pays me sporadically, and I need to be able to work in those early morning hours. I shouldn't feel responsibility or guilt over this one, but I do a bit. I think the biggest thing I am venting about here is just all the grief, the changes, the sad endings, and the (little bit scary) exciting beginnings. It is just so much to wrap my head around, and so much to do. I feel a great deal of stress, which just locks me up. The painting helps, but sometimes I get so locked up I don't let myself start painting, and then the stress becomes a viscous cycle. About the painting and art.... my goal is to fill up 13 (the amount I started with in January) canvases this year, and be ready to enter art shows and do a few group shows towards the end of this year, beginning of next. It means becoming committed to my art-making on a regular basis, and putting myself out there- both challenging but doable. I also need to really commit to my health again- have gained back 10 pounds in just the last 2 months, and really cannot afford to. Need to make time for working out, and commit to it. I know I can do all this, and handle all this, but it does feel a tad overwhelming at the moment. I know everyone here has tons on their plates, and that there are a lot more scary things going on that what I am dealing with.... I just wanted to *tell* someone, you know? To not feel like I am so alone in all that I am dealing with. My older sister is on Facebook, and I just don't feel like it is safe to be facebooking any of the mom stuff- even if I use humour, she may freak out. Thanks for listening, I do appreciate it. Sometimes it isn't good to have secrets, especially stressful ones. LB

I too, would like some information on this whole parasite testing thing. I had never heard of that till Jean mentioned her dh had been tested for them. Jean, so glad it is going well so far. Enjoy the vacation part of this!! Thanks for checking in, too.

Safe travels to you. Have a good time visiting, and good luck with the doctor. I look forward to hearing how it all went. Smooches, LB

I agree with the Madhur Jaffrey suggestions. I think the one I like the best is called A Taste of India. THe book is divided into sections with recipes from the different regions. I have been cooking out of this one for 18 years now, and have cooked almost every single recipe in the book. I cook Indian meals 4 to 5 days a week. Love, love, love. We started out making two batches of each dish- one spicy for us, and one not spicy for the kids, and then as they grew older, we would bump up the spice level. As teens, they now can handle almost as much spice as me, and I like it hot.

Here's one I love: Spinach dhal (From Fresh Indian by Sunil Vijayakar) I use way more spinach than they do. But I am known as a spinach freak.:D

Would love to see an actual recipe on how you make your filling for these. We haven't made them at home yet.