I don't need them yet, but I will. My dad and paternal grandmother both had a lot of hearing loss. My mom now has it as well, though hers was when she was older than they were. She spent thousands of dollars to get what was considered more top of the line (I can't remember, but I want to say maybe $7000). But she told me not long ago that her friend bought the less expensive ones, and is very happy with them, and she wishes she had gone with those herself. She's not sure the expense was worth it. I don't seem to have too much trouble with needing more volume, but I have trouble with distinguishing the sounds. If someone is facing away from me when they talk, it is hard, and I always use subtitles. I have had trouble with distinguishing media conversations for a long time (movies and TV mainly--not so much radio).

Me too.

Thank you for starting this thread, @Ginevra. I have found it thought-provoking, and it has given me some ideas for things I'd like to work on.

Quoting just to say that I really like this! Lots of wisdom in here. And it describes dh and me pretty accurately.

Oh my, yes. I can talk too much about some things, but I have to make myself do small talk, lol. It's painful. Following more on the "noticing" part, just simple questions: "What did you think about ___?" "Do you ever get impatient or sad that your body doesn't do what you want it to anymore?" (He might be sensitive about that one, though, unless you have something that you can mention of your own.) "What do you like about fishing?" The answers may be short, but the questions show you value him and what he thinks. Also, I have a million things going on in my head almost all the time. So I remind myself that dh might actually be interested in some of them! (Not all, for sure, though!😂)

That doesn't sound bonkers at all. No counselor here, but it sounds kind of like you dissociated some in order to cope with the enormity of cancer, etc., and haven't quite found your way back. I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised if that is rather common. I am finding that as we age, dh and I are slowly finding a new normal. We haven't really talked about it a lot, I just see it happening. We are both having to learn how to live in our aging bodies, and not all of that is fun. I do believe talking is important. Maybe neither of you like to talk much about your feelings. You can show appreciation in words, though. You can make yourself notice the thoughtful things he does, and you can work on doing and saying thoughtful things yourself. (I am not just naturally thoughtful. I have found over the years that I have to be purposeful about it. It isn't faking it--I care about others--but I have to be intentional about showing it.) We have been married a long time, so there have been slumps, of course. When I find myself in a slump, doing the above and really trying to notice the good things helps. Verbalizing helps too. I am not mushy, and am uncomfortable when someone is mushy with me, even if they are genuine. But dh did a lot of yard work today, so I said, "Thanks for all of your work today." Nothing mushy or fake, but it lets him know I noticed and am not taking him for granted. "Thanks for getting gas for me." "Thank you for washing the car."

Yeah, well, post-menopausal here. I love my dh though, and care about him.

I don't have a book recommendation. All healthy relationships take some effort. It almost sounds like you don't really want to make an effort if it costs you anything. I don't mean that to be ugly, just straightforward. I think it's good for both persons in a relationship to remember that people are complex. It's easy for us to just assume we understand a person when we know certain things about their habits, or have lived with or known that person for a long time. But we all change over time. Maybe you could try to find out who he is now, and what he likes now; get to know him again by asking questions and being interested in how he answers. He may be feeling a bit lost right now, like so many on this forum do occasionally. I think all of us like to be pursued sometimes, to be made to feel special, to feel like we are worth someone's making an effort to know us and our thoughts and dreams. Yeah...I agree. Most husbands wouldn't be happy with a marriage that doesn't include sex.

I had heard of it, and thought of doing it in an abstract kind of way. But one day I saw an announcement in a little town newsletter that CASA training was being offered. So I called, and the training times had been moved to a time when I was able to do it. I filled out an application, and was interviewed. We had training for six Saturdays--three, a week's break, and three more. (And now I am trying to remember--I think it was six sessions--however many the national organization requires.) There were six of us in the classes. The director of our particular area taught the classes, and they were excellent, and prepared us well. My supervisor is over the county I live in, and under the director. She is also excellent, and offers advice and any help I might need. I was assigned a case a few weeks after the training ended, on the day that my training group was sworn in by the judge. The responsibilities are that I am to visit the child/children (if it is a sibling group) once a month in the foster home and talk with the foster parent/s, visit/talk with any caregivers/teachers/therapists each quarter. Depending on the situation, and especially if reunification is a goal, meet with the bio parent/s. Court is usually every three months. Before court, I prepare a court report for the judge, commenting on each set of interviews I have conducted and including my recommendations, which is also shared with interested parties. It is done on a template, so there is a guide to it. My supervisor and I go over it and any questions either of us have, then I officially turn it in to her, and she turns it in to the judge, DHS, and lawyers, etc. With my supervisor, I definitely do not feel alone, but she doesn't micromanage, either. Then I show up at court, and if I have any additional comments at that time, when the judge calls on me, I make the statements at that time. You sign a document at the beginning to commit to the case until it is resolved either by reunification or adoption, if at all possible. Our particular judge really does read the reports, and makes reference to them occasionally. About a year after I accepted my first case, my supervisor called and asked if I would be interested in taking a second case. Normally, a CASA is only assigned one case at a time, but occasionally, in a rare case, one more case might be assigned. My supervisor thought that I would be a good fit for this second case for several reasons, and I took it. When a case is first assigned, there is more work as you get to know and understand the case. As the months go by, it becomes more routine. I have not been doing this long enough to have had a case completely resolved yet. My cases have both had jumps forward and back. It's a long-haul thing. Hope this helps. https://nationalcasagal.org

My newer "thing" is being a CASA volunteer. It doesn't take a whole lot of time, but I find it valuable and interesting. You may or may not have a chapter near you, but it may be something you get trained for further afield, but are assigned cases in your town/county.

I do too. You can also see ALL of the floors and walls and things that might ordinarily be covered up. It's true that it might be easy to misjudge the space of a room, but I still prefer houses empty when I see them.

I'm so sorry! That sounds awfully painful. So glad you don't have to have surgery. Praying for fast healing for you, and solutions for your dd's appointments.

I agree with quite a few of the above. Was coming on to say that that's about the age I really dug into the original Sherlock Holmes' mysteries as well as Agatha Christie's books.

I also couldn't be a school teacher. I love kids--one-on-one. Crowd control and classroom management? Nope. That's a nightmare to me. I might could be a reading specialist or something that was individual or very small group. I might could do adult education or higher education, because I do like to teach.

This is a case that would be clear to me, to NOT send the child back to the parent. I'm a CASA, and there are some cases that I don't know what I would do. Thankfully, we seem to have a very good judge, at least seeing over my cases.

I don't think I could be a family court judge. Some cases are clear. But those cases where it isn't, making the decisions of whether a child/children should go back to a parent or not--I just don't think I could do that.

Praying you get some answers, and the medical team does what the doctor said they would do--get onto it immediately!

I am a @happi duck-type dabbler. I don't know that I have ever had one huge "passion" as to how I spent my time, other than homeschooling. I took that seriously, and it plus household-running took up most of my time. The other bit of time, I spent in learning how to play the violin as an adult learner. However, due to issues with a shoulder, and difficulties with my eyes, my music pursuits are not so appealing anymore. Plus, my violin needs a lot of repair and I can't afford to do that right now. When I try to play the piano, I have trouble focusing on the notes. I have progressive lenses, but may need to experiment with regular readers for that. Interestingly, I don't particularly enjoy listening to music beyond occasionally. I like the quiet too much. Other things I have enjoyed in the past don't appeal as much anymore. I still cook, of necessity, but I'm rather tired of it. I like to travel, but...finances. I am a CASA, which I enjoy, but it doesn't take up tons of time. I like plants, but it is too hot here in the summertime for me to enjoy being outside. Reading the suggestions in above posts, most don't particularly appeal to me. Some things I would pursue if I lived closer to an area where I could indulge that interest. I think I have always been a bit of a dabbler; i.e., if you look at my college transcript, I have a lot of courses on there that didn't apply to my major course of study, lol. While I had interest in lots of areas to a point, the only thing I wanted to do full-time, was be a SAHM, which gave me more time and opportunity to dabble in a variety of things.

I'm glad you are doing this. It sounded like way too much.

The table sounds good if he wants it. If it were me, I'd probably get a trip, but maybe only a half-week one, a solo stove, a new tent, maybe another kayak so we could kayak together, etc.

😬

I don't know where it is, because I was a kid and it was years ago, but we went to the mint and saw money being made. As a 13yo, I thought that was pretty interesting! Also, the Smithsonian American History museum is interesting, but it is a museum, so maybe not. Hopefully, somebody who is more familiar with the area can give you some better ideas of something different and refreshing.

Hopefully, you will get an offer from tonight and not have to lower it.🤞

That's sweet of him! Since they are pjs for a hospital stay and not s*xy lingerie (I'm assuming!), hopefully it won't be too rough on him!😂

I mean, at least you had a towel on, you know?