My 12 year old daughter just finished up (well, almost) 4th grade ACE paces. Yes, it is 2 years behind but that is where she is and it works for her. With his LDs, etc. can he handle the "meatier" program you are looking at? I know that ACE seems quite simple but they do cover the basics and do that well. For some kids, that is all they can handle and knowing the basics well can lead them to other areas as they grow up. *I* like the idea of SL, Winter Promise, etc. but for my girls, ACE is the best fit. They are learning, it is not a battle, etc. so we stick with that. If you stayed with ACE for him, you could use the rest of this time to tinker with mechanical stuff, learn some basics of auto mechanics, etc.

I would certainly look up the side effects of Minocycline and see if that might be at least part of the problem. Make sure to mention this to the pdoc today as well. Every little bit of information is important when they are trying to figure things out.

We have bipolar here so a bit different than depression but there is hope. Your daughter should feel BETTER, not worse with treatment. Did your doctor do a full physical with blood work---checking esp. vit. D levels, thyroid, for anemia, blood sugars, etc? Those things can result in depression or go along with depression. I would also look at food allergies/intolerances if she is having stomach issues as well. If she has not had these things done recently, ask the psychiatrist to order the tests. Along with proper medication, we have found that the Omega 3s (http://www.omegabrite.com or Omega 3 mood) to be very helpful. Exercise and sunshine are also important. We try to get in a lot of good protein and not as many refined carbs as well. Make sure you take a list to the psychiatrist of what meds she has tried, the doses, side effects, if they worked, etc. as well as copies of any blood work in the past 1-2 years. That will save time and make your visits more productive. Take time for yourself and your spouse. You need time to recharge your batteries to be a good mom.

This is tough but as an adoptive mother/foster mother and a friend of someone in this situation, here goes. I would continue to monitor the contact he has with her but the reality is, he is the bio father and since this is a family situation, it will come up over and over again. I know it can be threatening to you as her parents but in the long run, limited, supervised contact can be very helpful for her. After all, if her bio parents are so terrible (not that you are saying that but often adopted kids get that idea) then they must be terrible as well. My friend has an adopted 18 year old daughter. They first cared for her when she was 5 days old when they were missionaries in an Eskimo village in the artic circle. Over time they had her more and more until they finally adopted her legally when she was 8. Since the village was so tiny, she had contact with the birth parents, 4 siblings, etc. on a very regular basis. In fact, just yesterday the bio mom (bio dad passed away last year) 2 sisters, 1 brother in law and 3 of the little kids flew in for her highschool graduation party. Another sister, BIL and 4 more kids are coming Thursday. It IS tough on my friend in some aspects as her daughter does call bio mom, "mom", etc. but overall, it is good for her daughter to have these relationships. The bio family could not care for her like she needed but they did care about her. This tends to make her daughter love her all the more.

Maybe give your kids some coping ideas and let them know that it is fine to come home when/if this happens. If the mom is at a loss, it could be that this child has some more going on than just a discipline issue. Some of what you say could fit with aspergers, a mood disorder, sensory disorder or other special needs. That said, do not put your own children at risk. Can you talk to the mom for ideas?

Check out the I See Sam program http://3rsplus.com/ This is very easy to use and highly effective for kids with dyslexia and other reading difficulties. You can get the first 2 sets free to print out at http://www.teacherweb.com/CA/PomeloDriveElementary/Mrssakamoto/printap2.stm I have used this successfully to teach both of my daughters to read. Check out the notched card/cursor as well as a great tool to help with tracking left to right while reading.

Can you and the test results drive to the big city to see the doctor earlier? One of our neurologists is a 3 1/2 hour drive. Thankfully most of the other doctors are within 45-60 minutes away.

Could this be a severe migraine? My 12dd had this a few years ago. We ended up in the hospital as well. She also had an abnormal EEG and they said it was a migra-seizure. Any other symptoms? Sad to say, we are way too familiar with neurologists, EEGs, MRIs, CTs, etc.

What about a plastic play yard? http://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-Secure-Surround-Play/dp/B000G1YW98 It can be set up in a rectangle but folds quite flat. It does not have a floor/bottom but you could use a sleeping bag or pads, etc. for the floor if that is safe for your son. I know that there are portable hospital type beds but those are huge and cost a fortune.

Well, the Lamictal is supposed to become quite steady in the blood over time but you never know for sure. Our lab just changed the range from 1-4 to 3 or 4-12. The neurologist said they found the new therapeutic levels to be higher than thought before. I would talk to your doctor.

Did they ask you the time of his last dose of Lamictal for the blood test? Generally you have to do the test 12 hours after the last dose and before the next one.

Glad you are getting some answers. I know this is slow but the blood work for Lamictal is important, maybe redoing the MRI (we have to do ours yearly for 12dd), etc. Did she order any blood work for mitochondrial disorders? That might have been in with the chromosome work. My girls both have 2 different mutations and my 13dd has a 3rd one. We know the cause of the issues at least now. Just to give you hope, my 13dd has been doing SO much better the past few months to year. I noticed a big change when we went out to a horse show. She is also now reading chapter books, etc. Granted she is still doing early 2nd grade school work, but she is doing better in other areas so we will just keep plugging along.

I know what you mean. My girls are only 12 and 13 but developing which limits what is acceptable. I don't like bra straps showing and have the other rules like you have about tight stuff, etc. You might try checking some thrift stores/upscale resale shops in your area. They might have some really cute stuff that is cheaper. We have horses and other animals so my girls are fine in jeans and your basic t-shirts most of the time as they get really dirty helping with chores, etc. It is hard though to find cute tops for them that cover the bra straps, cover the belly, aren't skin tight, etc. I often end up going up 1-2 sizes to get a better fit for them but that doesn't work for all styles. I was looking at sale ads the other day and noticed the guys shorts were almost to the knee while the girls had almost NO inseam at all. Short are another rant of mine---they must have an inseam that is decent when they sit down, they must not be skin tights, have to come up high enough to avoid the crack look, etc.

Good question. I think the towel thing is for your kitchen dishcloth/towel, not nec. all of the bathroom towels. I also don't do laundry more than 3 times a week, most of the time only M and Th. Still trying to decide which format to try.

That is a great idea. I printed off 2 samples and might look at 1 more type before deciding. I might like the week at a time one so that we can just do the chores on other days if we have a busy week. Easy to see and cross off this way. My kids are just going to "love" this.:glare:

I don't have any specifics for you but you might want to check out various literature based homeschool programs for great ideas on books to read. Check out the 4th-8th grade programs and see what books they use. That might get you started.

Do I want the 1/2 page DAILY planner or the full page WEEKLY planner? I don't want it so tiny I can't read it. I just need simple and easy to follow.

It is now almost 5pm and we are about done with our chore lists for the day. I was gone from 9:30-1:15 today. Then we did horse chores, my 12dd rode for a while, etc. We just need to get into a good routine. Anyone else have comments on Motivated Moms?

I tried Motivated moms several years ago and then my computer crashed and I lost the stuff. I am thinking of ordering it again but was wondering if those of you that have it really use it on a daily/weekly basis? Is it doable without being overwhelming? Do you find that it misses a lot of stuff that needs doing? I have 3 kids--21ds, 13dd and 12dd. All have special needs but all are able to help with chores, read a chore list, etc. Actually lists work really well as they can read it, do it, check it off, etc. For all 3 of them, they have a hard time remembering the chores if there is no list to SEE and refer back to. With summer break starting here today I want to get organized. I was working on a daily chore list for each child to print off--they still need check offs for taking meds, brushing teeth, putting on deo, etc. If you have motivated moms, what format do you have and how do you like it?

We are working towards this on a small scale. I would certianly say to make friends with everyone who might know someone who might know someone who............... I can trade rides in my horse trailer for hay, use of something else for riding lessons, call so and so in an emergency and they have what we need, know what to do, etc. I do agree with starting small and learning what you can. Chickens and a garden would be a good place to start. You need to remember that animals need to be fed twice (or more) a day EVERY day, no matter what the weather, your schedule, vacations, etc. You will need someone to "house sit" or a close neighbor to come and take care of things while you are gone. I would also suggest joining 4H, local ag groups, FFA, or other groups that can help you out. Check the drainage of the land you are looking at. Some might be clay---gets really wet and slick and can be hard to grow things on, sand--dries out too fast, in a very windy area, or ............

Well, I grew up in one and now live in the other. Do you like the beach/water at all? If so, Grand Haven has a very nice boardwalk along the Grand River that goes out to the lake. You can walk this and then walk downtown, etc. In Holland the beach is a 15-20 minute drive from downtown. What types of things would you like to do? You can email me and I could help you figure out hotels (Holland has more but many are near the mall/shopping, etc. not downtown or near the lake). I can also help you figure out where to go, where to eat, etc. Either way, it is only about 20-30 minutes from one to the other so you can easily do things in both places.

http://www.prometheantrust.org/soundfoundationsbooks.htm Apples and Pears spelling is wonderful for struggling kids. You could also look at their Dancing Bears program for reading help as well.

Personally, I would do the riding but that is because both of my girls ride, I first met my ds at therapeutic riding (his foster family was taking him), and I like horses. What does your child want to do? If they have a strong desire either way then I would do that. Otherwise, try the therapeutic riding for 7 weeks and if it is enjoyable then continue, if not, go with martial arts. My girls both rode in therapeutic riding and now both have their own horses and ride 5 or 6 days a week. It has been SO good for them, esp. my 13dd who is more impaired. She can catch her 16hh horse, bring him in, feed him, brush him out, almost tack him alone (hard to get the saddle right above her head). Make sure the riding facility takes very good care of their horses, has good safety rules in place, etc. Horses can be very theapeutic and fun but they are animals.

Personally, I would head to a peds urologist. It could very likely be a physical problem. First, they will ask if she is constipated at all as that puts extra pressure on the bladder. Food allergies/intolerances could be looked at as well. For both of my girls it ended up being a spastic bladder (the gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now commercials). The urologist put them on medication for this and accident were DONE within a week----day and night. I know that night time wetting can be frustrating but at 4 1/2 it is very common. The day time wetting though might signal the need to see the urologist to rule out any physical issues.

Dh saw something on the travel channel yesterday about cruises and is now considering one. I don't know if we would really enjoy it as much as another vacation...but, never having gone, I don't know. We are both a bit overweight so while we might enjoy the pool, hot tub, etc.--we are NOT the sit in the sun in our trim swim suits and get a tan type people. I love to relax and read but dh doesn't. He does enjoy fitness/weight rooms, etc. We do not drink at all. We do not gamble. Theater/shows.....maybe as long as there were PG rated or cleaner. Neither of us are big shoppers. He hates flying but since we are in Michigan we would have to fly to get to a cruise dock. Would we want a 3, 5, 7 day cruise? We would be leaving behind 3 special needs kids, 3 horses and a host of other little critters. What cruise lines should be check out? What ones to avoid? What else is there to do on a ship? What is worth paying extra for and what is not? What is included on the ship? What extra expenses pop up? Typically on vacation we go only a few hours away, stay in a resort (his tribe owns it so we get HUGE discounts on the rooms), drive around, visit state parks, hiking trails, etc. Any hints for us or should we look at something different?