Well, all the kids get to do their subjects in whatever order they choose, so... Hadn't thought about bargaining, though. I'll keep that in mind. ;)

Astro (10) has always gone through times when he does this. It's not all the time, sometimes are worse than others, though in general he doesn't seem to be a fast worker. Not being fast is FINE. I'm not bothered by that in the slightest. But sometimes it just draaaaaaagsssss oooonnnn. Example: this morning, he took about an hour and a half to do an 11 problem math quiz. It's not that it's hard for him. He gets everything right, even when he is doing this same kind of problem on days when he moves quicker. He's pretty math-brained, as far as 'getting it', and though he could be faster in general at his math facts, he knows them all and the concepts very well. It can drive me a bit crazy. Is it a focus thing? If so, why only sometimes? There is nothing going on to distract him externally, nothing loud, just the other 2 doing their work, and that doesn't change day to day. Basically I want to know if there's anything I can do to make this not an issue. There's nothing wrong with the math curriculum or anything like that. It's just all in his head I think.

Guys!! I just called the library (you know, the one that's less than 1/2 mile from my house that I can never remember to return books to, so I stopped going) and our fines are a total of only 35.70!! Now yes, that's a lot for library fines, BUT ITS SO MUCH LESS THAN I EXPECTED!!!!!! So I'm stoked. Link is all bright eyed like 'does that mean we are going to the library again?!' :lol: I'll do better remembering to return books this time. Promise!

Add me to the list of the curious. :lol: :D My DH gets flirted with a lot, but not when I'm there lol. I can't even imagine. I'd probably burst out laughing or something. I don't even know. :D

NC Zoo is on my 'want to visit' list. I've heard excellent things about it. :)

I saw something about the nighttime one, it sounds so nice! We all have the metro cards (Smartrip or whatever they're called) so we could use them on the circulator bus. I'll have to think about that. I was just basically trying to do something that would pass by everything we wanted so we wouldn't have to walk everything. That could be the biggest problem with the circulator bus - if it's more like just a public transportation bus, it'll be a lot harder to just enjoy the ride, I would think. Idk. I'll have to think about it. I'm relatively familiar with the DC area, but I'm just trying to save having to do tons and tons of walking that day. Because not all monuments and memorials are ones that we'll necessarily want to stop at (same with White House and Capitol lol), at least this time around. While at the same time, it would be nice to just get to see them all.

You know, I posted earlier in the thread about this for me, but it's also an interesting discussion with parents in mind. I was raised by my grandparents, who are currently in the second half of their 70s. Their health is pretty good. With them, my uncle lives in town, and would, I'm sure, be there to help make decisions if need be (both have full mental and physical - well, mostly - capacities, so that would be further down the line if something happened that diminished that for one or both of them). I know he's the executor (sp?) of their will. My great-grandmother (maternal, my grandma's mom) died when she was 92 and never left her home. My great-grandfather (her husband) died 12 years earlier, after long bouts of something that had him hospitalized and unwell for several months. I don't know much about my grandpa's parents. My mom never got to that point, either - she died at 51 at home. Her death, like much of her life, is a bit of a question mark to me - I know it was the product of 40 years of alcoholism and other addictions, liver disease, a hiatal hernia, and lots of health problems. So the only people I keep thinking about are my ILs. They're still relatively young - early 60s. DH's paternal grandmother passed away after years of dementia when the boys were younger. I never knew her before it. She and his grandfather stayed at home for a long time, then moved in with one of their children and their family. I distinctly remember one of them saying, 'Had I known in advance how bad it had gotten and how much care she needed, I don't know if I would have done it.' Because it was a lot. They moved her to a nursing home before she passed away. His grandfather then moved and went into one as well. At first, he was pretty angry - 'Everyone just wants to be rid of me' type stuff. He was probably around 88-90 at that point. He was a bit grumpy about it. But then, time passed, he made friends, he began to see how much they could do for him, and he had family there (we're a bit spread out or we all would have been there pretty often - as it was, I think he saw most of the family at least once a year, which isn't any less than he saw everyone when he lived in his own house) that came to see him every day. He lived in nursing homes (GA and FL, moving states with his daughter and her husband, who were taking care of most of the immediate needs) until he passed in 2014. DH's maternal grandfather I never knew - he died when he was a teenager. Pretty sure he was never in a nursing home. His maternal grandmother was in and out of the one we work at (between there and her son's home) until she passed in 2009. I know she was there when she passed, because they couldn't get ahold of anyone else so they called DH. But with his parents... I really don't know. His dad insists that he does not want anyone taking care of him, as in any family members. So he'd rather go in a nursing home if need be. MIL says the same - when the one family member was talking about all the work, the assistance with toileting, etc, MIL turned to me and was like, 'Oh, please, I hope I'm gone before anything like that happens.' She doesn't want any of us to have to do that for her, either. So I guess it depends. FIL had some heart issues last year, and I know that when DH went into the ER with him, he was telling him a bunch of stuff to make sure to get taken care of if he didn't make it out. Which makes me think of a whole host of other issues, like power of attorney (is there an automatic on that if both parents aren't able? The oldest child? A consensus? No one?) if it should ever be needed, and executors of wills, are those necessary? Etc. I've planned a funeral but I know nothing about anything else. Sounds so weird and backwards. But anyway, at least right now, his parents are doing great. I will admit that I often think that we need to buy enough land that we can build a small, separate 'guest house' that they can live in someday if need be (and if not, we'll use it for something else) with a garden she can work in, etc. That would be a long way off, still, but it's something that comes to mind, just in case they get to the point where their big house on 5 acres isn't practical for them anymore but they aren't ready or don't need/want to go into the independent living apartments at the retirement facility. If it comes to some serious healthcare, I don't think I could do it - I'm just being honest. And I know them and love them (and it's mutual lol), and I think that feeling is mutual, too. But something where they just needed a place to live, someone around - we could do that. But I can't share a kitchen. We've done that before. :lol: That's why they'd have their own little house. :D :lol: :lol:

So I have to admit, one of my favorite parts of the day is coming on here and opening up goodreads in another window and looking at what the books are everyone is reading. So thanks for one of those little pleasures in life. :)

Yeah, we are using the metro for all getting around to specific locations. :)

We are heading up DC the end of March (we don't live far, 3ish hours) and one of the days I want to do one of the buses or trolleys that take you past monuments and all, that you can hop off and get back on wherever you choose (well, I know they have specific stops, but you know what I mean). I thought it might be fun to do something touristy like that, plus it'll save us from walking quite as much, and some of the things we can see as we go by. So is there a particular bus or trolley that's best for this? Is there a double decker bus with an open top level? I just wonder if the view on that would be better... I'm open to whatever though. Any ideas?

It's not of her own creation. Honestly I think it's one of those things people just fall for - they see a friend post it and think if they don't, the friend might actually delete them. It was most likely started as trolling. Overall this just doesn't bother me. It's just another thing people fall for, like the 'share this and you could win 10 million' posts. I just ignore it. Some people are bored, some are gullible. I don't consider it rude at all. There are rude things on fb, yes - but this, IMO, is not one of them. :$ I've weeded out my friends list before, but never with an announcement beforehand lol.

Was there ever a final report on this? Did everything get cleared up? Considering the timing, I am thinking I could be partially at fault. In any case, I was thinking about this today and wanted to revisit this to see if any resolution had ever been reached.

I think I just read the whole thing differently than you did. In what I read (which is the article linked), I never got the impression that she was trying to... what's the word... excuse what he did. I didn't read it as her trying to say that it wasn't her fault - I read it as her dealing with the guilt, the what could I have done different and what should I have done different, and trying to go from there because really, hindsight is 20/20 and no amount of realizing those things is going to change the past. Also, I didn't see others trying to pretend that they found her completely blameless. I'm sure there are things she could have done differently - but what point is there is pointing that out now? (Not talking to you directly, just in general re: finding fault in things after it's too late) It could be that I missed these things, or they weren't included in that article, or that you're particularly sensitive to the situation because you were nearby while I was a couple states away. It didn't really hit me that hard. It didn't make a huge difference in my daily life. Either way, I honestly think that different people are looking at it totally differently. I personally will be interested to read the book, though I think it will be hard to get through. And I wasn't there with this woman as her son grew up, and I can't judge anything I wasn't there for. I just can't. It's not in me to even care to figure all that out, much less try to. :)

I'm curious about this as well. I've been to a handful of zoos in my life - Denver, Colorado Springs, DC, Richmond, St. Louis, Springfield MO, Roanoke, Chiang Mai - and they're all a little different, and that doesn't bother me. I don't necessarily look at one as being 'better' than the other, though I'm not sure the Roanoke one even still exists, because IIRC it was one of the old style 'animals in cages' ones. But I was a kid so those things weren't jumping out at me. I remember Denver and St. Louis having a similar feeling - growing up near the STL one, I've been there multiple times. I remember thinking it was a good zoo and enjoying it. I remember Colorado Springs was on a mountain, and the biggest problem with that was the uphill walk. :lol: But it was the first place I fed giraffes, which was cool. The one in Springfield is not too bad, but I hate hate hate HATE the elephant section. It's depressing and it's not how elephants should act. I was very upset by that the last time I was there in 2014... there are portions which were fine but that part bothered me a lot, especially after being in Thailand at elephant sanctuaries and seeing how they *really* act. Separating a pack animal and reducing them to what they've been reduced to at many zoos... unacceptable. Ugh. It's heartbreaking. Richmond is not an awesome zoo but a lot of people enjoy it. I'd say it's similar to Springfield, but without the elephants lol. The animals seem very active and happy - the cheetahs are like, the most prolific cheetahs in the country lol. That's probably been my most oft visited other than STL. It's been years since I've been to DC but am looking forward to going again. But Idk, I just think all sorts of zoos are interesting. It's something we did for fun as I was growing up and it's just stuck with me, I guess. On a side note, the Georgia Aquarium is freaking amazing. Not a zoo, but yeah. <3

No to all of the questions. I honestly don't think that the kids should be stuck with that sort of burden. Stuck isn't the best word, but in the end, that's what comes to mind as the most straightforward way to say it. There are so many options out there now. There are apartments/duplexes where they can still be mostly independent, with the option of meals, no lawn care, and the reassurance of help being near if need be. There is assisted living with full time nursing staff who are there to help when needed; then there is full-time care. There are so many levels to it (I work at a retirement and rehab facility) and there are so many options, it's not like immediately going straight into a hospital-like room where you're taken care of like an invalid 24-7 (many people never need that level of care). Honestly, a lot of people love living in the assisted living and independent living portions of it because there are things to do in their little community, as opposed to being alone at home all the time. My great-grandmother lived at home alone until she passed away at 92, but she had 8 kids, many of whom lived nearby and stopped in to see her regularly. I think a lot of the people don't have anyone to see on a regular basis, so they come in to assisted living or the apartments and are happy to make friends, go on outings, play bingo, whatever. There are always groups of people sitting out on the sidewalk in front of our coffee shop, that the kids stop and talk to when we go in. I think that for some people, a life there is actually better than it would be if they were at home alone. The only downside I've seen is when people are in there for a very long time and aren't able to do the fun things anymore - I don't see them get visitors often. However, it's entirely possible that these people don't realize it. And a personal pet peeve that I WILL be telling my kids: FOR PITY'S SAKE, whether my mind is sharp as a tack and it's just my body giving up on me or it's my mind, PLEASE, oh PLEASE, FIX MY FREAKING HAIR before you take me to a restaurant or a family gathering!!! :lol: Seriously. Just run a brush through it, make it look like I've NOT been sitting in bed for the last several hours!! :lol: :lol: Ahem. But other than that, no pressure whatsoever. :D

To the first paragraph: Yes. Just yes. It's very trendy and popular and cool right now to be trendy and popular and cool. :lol: There's a balance to it that for a good while was swinging veeeery far in the opposite direction of legalistic! I do think that more people are beginning to find that balance now and seeing the problems with either end. One can hope, anyway. :) Second: Same. I read some 'books about the Bible' over the years through different ministries and stuff and was getting very tired of it. I was so thrilled when some friends decided to start a Bible study group that just reads the Bible! What a novel idea! :lol: Now I try to reserve the 'books about the Bible' to be either highly recommended over time (Knowing God by J.I. Packer is, so far, very good, and The Celebration of Discipline is an old favorite of mine) or rereads that I'm trying to decide whether or not to get rid of. :D :lol: I find that sometimes they have their place, but any book has to be taken with a grain of salt. Or a whole shaker full. Whatever. :D

posted at the same time, but wanted to agree with this as well. I see adults a lot of time saying, 'I can't believe that so-and-so (insert anything considered not good here)!! I would never do that* Uh-huh. Sure. I can't say that about myself - ever. I don't know who I'll be in 5 or 10 years or who I could have been if I had decided to do one thing instead of another. But sure. Go ahead and pretend that you're (these IRL people) holier-than-any-who-have-ever-made-mistakes. :rolleyes:

This. Let's also not forget that this was 1999. How difficult is it to get proper mental health treatment today? How much harder could it have been then? We may say now that we 'know the signs' - were they as well known then? I know it's not the dark ages. It's less than 20 years ago. But that doesn't mean it couldn't still be a factor. And for anyone who insists that they/their child wouldn't do _____, I really just have nothing to say to that. Every life is different, every person is different. No one knows what they would do or who they would be with just one thing different. And children are individuals, too, who make decisions that have nothing to do with their parents a lot of times. So. I'll just leave that at that.

My kids don't actually do that... I do. :leaving: :lol: :lol:

Chiming in not because I have any advice, but because I'm interested in hearing what others have to say, as well. DH and I communicate okay, but we could always do better. Right now I think there are a lot of things causing us (mostly me) to have some difficulty communicating - nothing groundbreaking or earth shattering or anything that's going to destroy us - just some difficult situations that are around us, not between us. If that makes sense. But I won't go into it here. PM me if you want to talk in more specifics either way. :)

sometimes even longer. COUGHsmallvilleCOUGH

^^^^Definitely a correlation between the thread and the length of my 'to read' list on Goodreads. :D Finally finished up Woman of Influence by Pam Farrel. It was a re-read. I can't remember my exact impression the last time I read it - it was probably 5 years ago, around the same time of year, with a group at church. This time around, I'll call it enjoyable. It wasn't particularly challenging, faith-wise, but was solid and comfortable. Overall I think it was nicely placed for me this time around as something that sort of backed up what I was already thinking, as opposed to being a book that was new and pushing me to new things. I'm glad I reread it. There are a couple quotes in it that are some of my favorites in any book of its type (be aware of blatant Christian content ahead) : 'Most women don't see themselves as women of inflence bcause they think they have to do some grand thing to be influential.' 'If we stray too far in one direction, we can become legalistic and set up barriers for people who are seeking Jesus. If we stray too far in the other direction, we may live no differently from those who are apart from Christ, and they may never see Jesus in us.' The first I love and can be applied to any women, anywhere - I find it especially true of myself, as a stay at home (for the most part), homeschooling mom - I was literally just talking to a friend about this sort of thing and saying that I have no inflence on anything, or anyone, ever. She shut me down pretty quick (in the good way lol), and then I read this tonight and thought of my conversation with her, and how so often we misunderstand 'inflence' as having to be of a certain magnitude. The second is just so relevant to Christianity today - it was relevant to our situation 5 years ago (I underlined it that time through) and when I posted it on FB back then, a friend called me and was like YES. It happened to be sandwiched on their news feed between two examples of the exact opposites that are listed in the quote! :lol: This time around it hadn't lost its potency. It's so true. Next I'll be picking up another reread of a favorite - this year I'll be going through all of my Peretti books, and the next on the list is Piercing the Darkness. It's the first Peretti book I ever read and I loved it. Despite the flaws of the Darkness books of his, I go back and greet them as old friends - I can't help loving them anyway. Despite seeing the huge holes and uncomfortable writing more as I get older, it's easy to brush past them and not worry about it. I hope I'm not the only one who does that! :D I also read the second chapter of The Power of a Praying Wife today. Meh. It was better than the first one... but I still think I have some theological issues with it, as I don't believe in a 'perfect will of God' for an individual. So. This book may be a wash. Or I may keep reading it as I was planning to (one chapter a week, focusing on that in prayer for the week) but only as a bit of a loose reminder or focus point for the week. The first week was 'his wife' (aka pray that I'll be a good wife - that one was just.... wow.) and the second is 'his work'. I can pretty easily just use that loose guideline. Maybe I'll just read the chapter titles each week. :lol: :lol:

I'll read it, I'm sure. I'll take it in stride, as something that *isn't* necessarily the same as the original 7. I'm a bit excited for more of the HP universe to unfold, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'll be disappointed if it isn't amazing. I don't know how to describe it. I'm looking forward to it. And that pretty much sums it up. :P

This looks absolutely heartbreaking. I'll most likely add it to my 'to read' list, but wow - I think it will be a difficult one to get through. People can be so quick to judge actions - 'where were the parents' and other such drivel. Ugh. Just reading the article made my heart hurt. :( I was in high school during the time of Columbine. When did it happen? 1999? That was the end of my junior year. I remember the waves of panic all over the place as a result of it.