My sis is a probation officer. The first thing they were taught is NEVER EVER ignore that creepy feeling in the back of your neck. Just get out, fast. If he creeps you out, rather than you just dislike him seeing your dd, then don't ignore it. I wish I had practical advice, but i just have hugs :grouphug:

1. they are boys! 2. they are little! My ds didn't even really start formal school until he was 10. (This was almost by accident, he had older siblings doing High School) He started MUS at age 11, with Alpha, He went through 5 levels in a year. He is now 13, doing Algebra with aplomb, he is confident and whilst he doesn't enjoy school he is generally willing and hardworking. At 9 he was still reading "Here is the dog, here is the ball" By 10 and a half he had read the entire Redwall series and was looking for more! WTM (which we use suggestions from now, but not earlier) does not suit all kids. Read "better late than early" by Raymond Moore and cut yourself some slack. I don't suggest this if there are real learning difficulties, but if you have very little children, who just need to play a bit more then go with it for a year or two. Play with them, put the time you are putting into school into taking them to the park, legoing with them, playing board games baking etc etc. I have had 'trophy tots' my eldest was reading with ease at age 3, and was reading chapter books at age 5...with ease. etc etc, but I can tell you with authority they all end up in roughly the same place in the end. It just takes some of them a bit longer to get started. ;)

Will be thinking of you. :grouphug:

In my example he needed more time. Yes some people are stupid. How does making them feel bad about it help anything? Obviously they will not make it into university but destroying them at age 7 seems rather counter productive. The reason I have been up in arms about this is that I find the assumption (common in homeschooling in my area) that all teachers, by definition, are bad rather depressing. Some teachers are bad, so are some architects, some accountants..... For one example of this assumption, Mejane said that it seemed the motive was greed pure and simple. This is an assumption based on a newspaper article. Is the author unbiased? Does mejane know the author, the teachers concerned or more about the situation that she has stated? If she does than I apologise, otherwise this is an uninformed opinion, based on one account, that may or may not be biased. I will now resign from this debate, and I will agree that cheating with the motive of self interest is wrong.

Yes, sadly, my dear friend's husband was in agreement with you. So he resigned, despite the children at the school begging him not to, to say nothing of the principal. He believed the tests were damaging to the kids. For one example only, what happens when johnny cannot multiply 3 digit numbers, he just needs more time. But now he, and all his mates and all his mates parents know he is 'behind' and 'stupid' and they don't want their kids to play with johnny, but only with billy who got good test scores. Good teachers leave the profession because of impossible situations. I think we should stop vilifying teachers and start looking at what makes conscientious and committed people act in this way. If one starts from the assumption that all teachers are stupid and lazy then yes, this is cheating and wrong. But what happens if one assumes teachers are conscientious, hardworking and committed to the best for their kids. Then why did they cheat? What makes good people act in bad ways? Possibly they are in a situation where there is no 'right'. Or maybe ALL teachers should simply resign! ;)

There is of course another point. The tests are pointless. And teachers treat them with the contempt they deserve! This however is my own opinion and i am not a teacher, (only a homeschool facilitator) most teachers I know are trying to do the best they can for the kids despite the tests. If I was a teacher I think I would treat them as the irrelevance they are. there is so much research to show that grades, tests and the like hold kids back, discourage risk taking and original thinking and result in identical students who have no interest in learning but only in how to pass the test. And for those who are going to say a low grade spurs one to greater efforts...imagine being graded on your supper making abilities every day. Unless you are amazingly talented in this area, how long before your Low B's C's and D's make you hate cooking. And how long before you give up all together. For the cooks and chefs amongst you insert whatever you are not talented at. Of course grades and tests are great for the 10% who are good at them. They get positive feedback and soon get even further ahead. As for compromising ones integrity. Isn't asking teachers to implement tests they believe to be harmful to the students in their care asking them to do just that? And yes they can resign, and yes, every year gifted and honest teachers do just that. And who loses?

I agree but think about this hypothetical situation. You have a bright class of 30 kids. Just by chance 8 are gifted and 2 are profoundly gifted. Also, just by chance there are almost no LD kids, just say, a couple of bright dyslexics. You are a keen teacher who wants to take this class as far as it can go. But your advice (from the head teacher) is to hold them back as the next class along is different. No gifted kids, a high percentage of LD kids. Your whole school is worried and you are in a terrible bind. Do you teach your bright class, or do you deliberately hold them back. The bright class will pass the test whatever happens, but if you make the teaching monotonous, refuse to offer extension activities etc they will get bored and disruptive and not do all THAT well. Then there will not be such a gap between them and the next class. So do you follow advice and teach this class poorly, and save the schools reputation (and do a major disservice to the kids) or do you teach them to the best of your and their ability, and risk the whole school (and your job in particular as it would be your class that bombed) next year? What would you do?

It is only to be expected. In the UK about 120 years ago they had 'payment by results' for school teachers. The inspector would arrive and orally drill the kids. If the kids did not perform the teacher would not get paid. So, obviously, they cheated! the teachers had hand signals etc for the kids. It was abolished as it was so obviously stupid. Lets think this through. First you have to test kids...we know this does not help with their education, how can it...teaching to the test, discouraging creativity, emphasising conformity and safe answers etc, and we know that kids can perform differently on different days (oh, do we know this ;)) Now consider being a teacher. You know what the economy is like, you know if your kids don't perform you will lose your job. You are the only breadwinner in your house, you have a mortgage, 3 kids and a dog to support. The test bar gets ever higher...you MUST show progress, a bright class is a nightmare, because next years class may be average. So what do you do? Society has backed good people who only want to do their best for kids into impossible corners and then act surprised when they crack under the pressure. These teachers need our support and sympathy, and the system stinks. Look back at the early years of American education. No tests, no SATS, no impossible hurdles, just teachers left to teach. And an educated populous.

OK. I'm not an American and I don't live in America. But as I understand it in America you are allowed to have an opinion and freely state it. And other people are free to disagree with it. So this guy has an opinion. I don't agree with his views on the disabled (you just need to walk down a road with my birth family, its quite hard to do without one or other of the wheelchairs running over your foot! ;)) I also don't agree that this should be the last generation, but it is an interesting hypothetical debate. But the real point is, what is wrong with saying. "Hey, here is a radical idea. What do you think of this? Lets debate this point." Some people will strongly disagree with the debate, some will not care and some will agree. Ask your politicians the same questions, and vote for the ones who answer the way you do. Isn't that how a free society works? And once we start gagging people for having different opinions and not being afraid to talk about them then we are going down a scary road indeed. Willow.

I used to work for OB UK. Pm me if you want. I wouldn't do the intervention programme. I would do the 21 day course (not sure what age that is for nowadays). Most people are happy to be told what to do when they are about to walk backwards over the edge of a cliff....;) Willow.

From someone who has BTDT, take a deep breath, and don't do ANYTHING for a week or so! ;) Then... First find a math scheme...ask here. A math scheme for a 7 year old who loves math... A math scheme for a high schooler who needs to re-do the basics.... Buy the minimum. Try before you buy if possible or buy second hand. Sale boards are on this forum. Start doing math once a day. Then repeat for say, science, LA, History, music whatever.... Build it up slowly, don't try to do it all at once. Meanwhile read Well trained mind, read about unschooling on the net, read http://www.amblesideonline.com read this forum. Go slow. Unless you have a High School senior you have years to make this decision. And remember, some of what you buy will not be a good fit for your kids. this is what 'for sale' boards are for! Have fun, welcome to the journey.

Another great idea! Thank you.

Meeting outside the house is a brilliant idea, I don't know why I never thought of this before! Thank you. And thank you all for your support, there are some good ideas of what to say, I am very bad at knowing what to say, and always feel I have to answer questions. I will practice.... Willow

I have a friend. I have known her for about 5 years. She is a child abuse survivor, who left her partner (and father of her children) to try and break the cycle. She HSed the kids which is how I got to know her. Her kids are now either adult or at High School. One is back with dad. :001_huh: I met her at a local HS group. We became friends as our boys were friends. That boy is now the one with Dad, and is at school. My ds has no contact with friends boy. Ds is sad about this but other boy has school friends and is not interested in ds anymore. Friend still visits at least twice a week and also texts. phones and emails. The problem is I am running out of both time and compassion, and it is impacting on hsing my son and on my relationship with my adult daughters, and even dh. She has a new partner and I know far too much about this relationship. She sits in my kitchen dissecting every detail, she doesn't want advice (he's hit her for goodness sake) she just wants me to listen and agree with what she has decided. She has also been extremely ill, and I know every detail of that illness too. She is a total drain, I feel exhausted when she has left. Ds hates her coming as we only have a very tiny house, with one living room/kitchen and the bedrooms. So he goes off to his room as he doesn't want to hear. Yes, she will talk in front of him if I do not stop her and now he heads off as soon as she comes over the horizon. (He is 13, but it is cold here at the moment and the only heat is in the main room) I am sorry for her and I don't want to be the next one to kick her when she is down. I don't even mind meeting up once a fortnight or so, but I DON'T want to hear about how,when and where she is making 'tea', and to be asked if this is a normal amount of tea in a week/month/year, and even what brand of tea she is using! For goodness sake. How should I know? Why should I care!!? Dh says I should just tell her to only come once a fornight, and arrange a day/time and arrange for ds to be somewhere. I KNOW she will take this as I have turned against her too, and there will be weeping and apologising and stuff, and then I will get a text saying there has been a crisis and can she come over anyway....... My own life is so happy, simple and uncomplicated and I do feel so sorry for her, that I feel that supporting her is such a small thing to be asked, yet I am beginning to feel I cannot go on much longer with this. Help! What would you do? Willow.

I keep all this years work and all last years (just in case......) so each year I chuck most of the year before last, just keeping a sample for that years scrapbook/portfolio. I photocopy a sample workbook page, and the last MUS test.

I worry about the radiation issue. I never speak on my cell, I only text, I am almost 50, and I am a very slow texter. I rarely text more than "Where are you?" and "on my way" ! :lol: DD21 does not have a phone...she washed hers and never bothered replacing it. She does not live at home. Her flat has a landline, so does her place of work. DD19 has a cell phone, also does not live at home. She is the one I tend to pick up a lot. She lives only 15 mins away in a student flat. She often comes home for good food and a decent bed...... DS13 does not have a phone but as he buses regularly, I give him mine and tell him to ring the home phone if there is a problem. He will get a phone of his own this year BUT ONLY FOR TEXTING. He is getting a phone of his own as he would have to do a proper call using mine if he had to call....sorry about the convoluted sentence! He will be getting the cheapest pre pay phone I can find. Willow.

OK, personal experience here. 1. yes, take her out. As soon as possible. It took my dd ending up on the children's acute ward with asthma for me to realise just how bad it was for her. 2. This is an academic forum, and it can be overwhelming at first. In your dds case I would not 'school' her as such until at least after Christmas. Take her to the library lots, but don't make her write book reports, watch documentaries, but don't write about them. Go to the park/museum/art gallery/swimming pool etc. But just to enjoy them. No tests, no worksheets, no quizzes, no reports. Read aloud to her. 3. After Christmas pick a maths scheme (you can use the time between then and now to research. Go a level down from her ability....you need to get her confidence back. Let her work at her pace. If she finds it easy skip through, if she needs the reassurance of going slow then go slow! 4. A week later add in a bit of LA. Easy LA 5. Now another subject, preferably her favourite subject. 6. Carry on like this Go slow, let her choose curriculum with you if she shows an interest, it will make her feel in control, but resist the temptation to say "you picked it" if it turns out to be a bust! Remember making mistakes is fine, its how we learn! You have to model this. :tongue_smilie: Oh and something that helped my dd when panicking over something she didn't 'get'...I told her if she didn't understand it was my fault as a teacher for not explaining it to her in a way she could understand. HTH and enjoy your homeschooling journey.

Something my Step FIL did/said when eldest DD was 3 months old (yes that was 3 months!) made me say that never ever would my children be alone with this man. period. So I made excuses whenever they were asked to stay alone. Either dh or I went with them. They were not happy, accused me of not trusting them (!) etc etc. We had some horrid times. Eventually we ended up living in different countries, and the problem went away for obvious reasons. My children's safety comes before all else. In this case I would make sure I went with the kids. Yes I know its great to have someone take them for a while, but its not worth it. The don't tell your mum comment. My SIL did this with the kids once, I told her that my kids had been told never to trust anyone who said this no matter who they were and they were to come straight to me....this was after the kids ran in the the house yelling at the tops of their voices "Mummy! Auntie said we had to keep something a secret from you. That's really bad isn't it!" :tongue_smilie:

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Well if it were me, I would declare school done on Friday! I would have an end of year celebration so the kids think school is truly out, not mum has given up ;)!! Then i would say there is a little bit of homework over the summer, say 2 maths and 2 LA sessions a week. read alouds to be fun ones, and that is it. Have as long a summer as you and the kids need to be truly rested, and then start the next year. Then next school year I would just carry on from where I was. Obviously the kids would be a grade higher...now we are in 3rd garde whatever, but I would just finish what we were doing and start the new book when the old one is finished. I have been worrying about this recently and have come to the conclusion I am far too hung up about this sort of thing. I am now going to pick quality curriculum, and work steadily through it. When we need a break we shall have one. When we finish the book we will start the next one. When a year passes we will move up a grade! HTH Willow.

No, cannot afford them.

We are gluten free (so no beer, even non alcoholic ones) We use fizzy water and rice flour and make great batter. :)

Kari, Holding you and your family in the light

Also some kids just prefer not to eat when out. One of mine would rather go hungry and wait until they are home. Doesn't like eating out in cafes and restaurants either. I have taught them to be polite however....;)

Thanks again Deb!