All of my children play this way with one another but not with other friends, that I've noticed at least. I don't recall whether I did as a child or not.

I'm digging up all the (relevant to me) planning threads. :laugh: So sad I'm late to the party but getting a lot out of this all the same. TT3, 4 back in Math Mammoth with relevant parts of 2 and then into Math Mammoth 3 R&S 2 English WWE 2 Spelling Power The Modern Speller Science in the Beginning or Apologia something-or-other Sonlight B history/literature -- with a couple of siblings (OR piece something similar together myself) Ambleside Online 1 Story of the World Volume 2: The Middle Ages Various resources for coding, Spanish, ukulele, chess, drawing, touch typing, cursive/general legibility. ...maybe Getting Started With Latin, Latin Memory Songs

TT4, (then maybe 5 or maybe back to MM), Saxon 54's daily fact drills or MM 4 or Saxon 54 R&S 3 grammar WWE2 or 3 Spelling Power Simply Spelling Science in the Beginning or Apologia something-or-other Sonlight B history/literature + 4th grade readers -- this will be with her younger brothers. (OR piece something similar together myself) Ambleside Online Year 1 Story of the World Volume 2: The Middle Ages Various resources for coding, Spanish, ukulele, chess, drawing, touch typing. Since I typed out her 6th grade brother's plans where I shared my current ambivalence towards Latin, the idea has occurred to me that I could spend next year going through Getting Started with Latin (already on my Kindle) with all the children and decide whether to step it up with BBLL for youngers and Visual Latin for oldest ds (both already on my shelves :blushing: ), next year. It's painless enough that I could manage it in spite of my current feelings and maybe my flame will reignite.

TT7, parts of MM starting back in MM 5 & Saxon 76's daily fact drill worksheets (realized previous plans would be completed by fall so...) MM 6 or Saxon 76 MM6 pre-algebra w/ Dolciani & Life of Fred R&S 5 grammar WWS1 Spelling Power Science in the Beginning or Apologia something-or-other Sonlight G history/literature OR something else involving Story of the World Volume 2: The Middle Ages, a history encyclopedia, and AO4 OR Heart of Dakota's Resurrection to Reformation (history & geography) Various resources for coding, Spanish, piano, chess, drawing. Maybe Visual Latin 1. I have it. We've done Latin on and off since kindergarten. I'm just "meh" about the language since I figured out that I'm not so strong in foreign language acquisition myself, nor am I as academic as I imagined myself to be. No one specifically wants to do it so without an internal compulsion, I can't currently see myself making Latin happen in the midst of everything else I am compelled to make happen. OR Getting Started With Latin with siblings as a refresher while I work through my ambivalence.

I can't say "ultimate" or even "particularly good" since I haven't gotten through it yet but Faith, Form, and Time by Kurt Wise is what a friend (geologist) and I (not a geologist) are currently reading on the topic. ...from a review by an evolutionist who gave the book five stars: " .. he is open and honest, and by no means stupid or ignorant. ... I went away continuing to vigorously disagree, but at the same time I must respect the integrity of this author." and the Kindle version is cheap.

I switched my oldest to Saxon last year for fourth grade after intentionally avoiding it up until that point. In spite of his natural, strong conceptual awareness, no math curriculum, not even living math, could make him dislike it--and act up over it--less. In hope, I had tried so many different curricula and approaches with him that he hadn't actually completed anything and he had large stretches of no formal math at all. I wasn't comfortable with that so I intended for his fourth grade year to be different and decided to finally try Saxon. He has not developed a love of the subject but it has been largely drama free since the switch and he requested Saxon for this year, also. It has not harmed him conceptually. He still tested ahead of the bell curve at his state required testing with his highest results being in the area of conceptual awareness and unfamiliar problem solving. I switched my second oldest to Saxon just this year. She is a very different student but I am happy with how it is going for her, also, though for entirely different reasons.

So far (there is a lot we haven't started yet, like history and science, due to September being so busy): Loving ... Saxon (for oldest two) Miquon (for 2nd grader) Rod and Staff English Spelling Workout Writing With Ease workbooks, modified to meet individual goals Also highly appreciating: DuoLingo Tux Typing

I'm impressed! I love it in theory but in reality haven't been able to make it through even once.

I am taking all of this to heart. I appreciate everyone taking the time to give their input (and any who still want to comment). I am reading and rereading and thinking and I will definitely seek counsel for myself.

:crying: Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it. I've been teary eyed since reading all this and feeling like an idiot (no fault of those responding -- just that I realize how totally whack this all is and I have been so wrongheaded about both about the situation and my perception of how I was dealing with it).

His sister is the abusive one. His mom wants everyone to get along but thinks he rocks the boat the intentionally provokes his sister (MIL is avoidant).

He isn't done. He feels done. He isn't going to be breaking off the relationship. He feels he has slackened on maintaining boundaries and holding her accountable in past months and he will be maintaining them from now on meaning she either apologizes and engages respectfully or there will be no contact until she does. I am not requiring his attendance at her counselling session -- I merely suggested positive possibilities while he bounced thoughts off me about it. I don't manipulate my spouse, nor am I unsupportive.

It's a sister-in-law. MIL is the "let's all get along" one. When she is good/healthy/has ppl in her life so that she isn't seeking SO MUCH from us to fill her bucket, she is very, very, good/generous/considerate ... reasonable even. She controls herself around friends -- works very hard not to humiliate herself -- but family is for treating like trash without the consequence of getting ditched (in her book .. and I guess it's been working out that way). It has continued on because we have been pursuing peace, extending grace and mercy and forgiveness. Our religion is just another weapon to use against us -- we're "unchristian" or conversely, "holier than thou" when we enforce boundaries. She's the only one that even brings religion into our relationship -- to try to manipulate us with it. I feel so battered and bruised by that one. My tongue is almost bitten off. I've always held that my religion doesn't equal door-mat but apparently I AM a door-mat?! Re: the children, she is an emotionally manipulative person and my oldest is already uncomfortable with situations where he has told her "No" but she starts her begging and pleading and so forth and he feels like he should be "not rude" to an adult. I have talked him through this and will keep talking it over. I KNOW it's bad. He needs to be able to say No and expect it to be respected and this person flips out emotionally when we say No -- obviously I am an idiot because a friend had to point out to me today that even if she controls herself from verbally abusing the children while they are young, what about when they are older and independent and she can call and text THEM?! I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT. My child already feels like he can't say No. DH has sought his own counsel regarding her and the issue she wanted to discuss with him at her counselling appointment. Sharing as much as I have and seeing y'all's responses has made me see that I have not been seeing things clearly. I am far more avoidant and door-matty than I ever imagined. I thought I was being self-controlled and kind and open minded and gracious. Reading it just makes me feel stupid. But you know even now I still keep thinking -- perhaps I am not seeing this right? Perhaps she is sincere? Maybe it will all work out just fine? She has improved over the past decade, after all. Yeah .. I need counselling myself. I feel so guilty and bad for making a stand. I mean .. what if I'm wrong? I have seen glimpses of the good that COULD be and it is very good. It just isn't what IS. The closest it gets is when we are all feigning like this family get together wasn't preceded by a ton of cussing, accusations, insults, and threats from her to get everyone on her page for how it was to go down (because everyone else is being unreasonable and stubborn). :-/ yeah ... I am seeing how sick this it.

:crying:

Say you have an in-law who is verbally abusive and disrespectful and causing a lot of stress for your spouse (and you indirectly, for the most part indirectly), and you have at least one child who recognizes what is going on and is having their own negative feelings towards in-law treating their parents so badly (over phone, text) but coming over and acting so super-sweet-nice to the children. And meanwhile, whatever issues going on between spouse and in-law are causing spouse so much stress that they uncharacteristically are at the point of wanting to be DONE and cut contact but in-law, who idolizes the children and who considers Family the #1 thing, as some people consider their God (to paint just how important happy family get togethers are to in-law (though largely faked because of all the abuse that happens in the background) - in-law even moved across half the country to be in the children's lives), and in-law is accusing your spouse of some sort of "hostage holding" -- using the children against in-law to manipulate them to doing what spouse wants by "threatening" to cut contact. Basically in-law wants to at least maintain a relationship with the children while the adults all pretend they are not being abused behind the scenes. Now in in-law's favor, they are seeing a shrink and have been trying to get medicated for years for bipolar but nothing has worked. Spouse MAY, due to uncharacteristic levels of stress, be being uncooperative in in-law's attempts to improve things (according to how they see it) -- in-law wants spouse to come with them to a counselling session to discuss a highly volatile issue that in-law can't engage over without screaming and cussing. Say you have encouraged spouse that it may help, that it couldn't hurt, but spouse is just not up to it AT THIS TIME and so has said as much but in-law, in characteristic form, will not receive this answer, and has, characteristically, responded by typical insults and cussing and threats and accusations. WHAT DO YOU DO??? Personally, I feel like I have bent myself into unfathomable contortions in all the attempts over the years to see things from in-law's perspective and keep them in our lives and the lives of our children but at what point am I just teaching my children unhealthy boundaries? We aren't perfect but at what point can we stop trying so hard without being guilty of destroying the relationship out of our own selfishness? Ever? From in-law's perspective there is no effort, in-law has to fight for scraps, they get nothing out of the relationship while they give-give-give. There is another in-law that "tries not to take sides" but is sympathetic to in-law (though trying not to excuse) and sees things more from in-law's perspective and is sometimes on at spouse over this, also. All I can think right now is: I DID NOT HAVE CHILDREN FOR THIS PERSON. And I am missing living in a third-world country far, far, away.

DH had one yesterday at a go-kart track followed by dinner at a restaurant and drinks. (not a family event, just coworkers -- kids were NOT impressed when they found out what "I'm going to a work thing" actually meant :laugh: )

I don't know what a peeler bar is and tried searching .. maybe it's my search settings but all that is coming back to me are citrus peelers and I have an inkling due to your expression and the context that drinks with citrus zest are not the primary feature of a peeler bar. Is it safe to elaborate here? Or should I just keep my naivete? :laugh:

ugh .. you provoked a "vivid" olfactory memory of the stale funky stench of pubs from my childhood. Not that I was IN the pubs. You could just smell them as you pass by. :laugh:

Fine print: "Limited time only. While supplies last. Offer applies to titles and editions on this display only." Definitely leaves me assuming the same thing.

I needed someone to tell me this today. Thanks! :laugh:

I typically get INTP on tests but I have become convinced through study that I am an INFP.

DS10 has enjoyed The Ultimate Mystery Writing Guide for Kids. I almost bought it for Kindle but found Teachers Pay Teachers sold the PDF version which has been far more convenient.

I cook less when he is away but am generally a lot more productive.

My 2nd grade plan (third draft): Math: Baird's Graded Arithmetic, Life of Fred Elementary Series Grammar: Rod & Staff 2 Writing: Writing With Ease Spelling: Spelling Workout History/Geography: A Child's History of the World or Story of the World, and something for American history Science: something Latin: maybe Music: hopefully Art: with his aunt Bible & Literature: with the family Forget it. I'm firing my planning committee. :tongue_smilie:

My NEW new 3rd grade plans are: Math: Math Mammoth 3 Grammar: Rod & Staff 3 Writing: Writing With Ease Spelling: Spelling Workout History/Geography: Story of the World Science: anatomy Latin: probably Music: hopefully Art: with her aunt Bible & Literature: with the family I have disbanded my planning committee. They have gone back to flying by the seat of their pants.