Listen to audio books.....i.e. literature/language arts. So many of the great classics are available on CDs from the library....and a lot is available for download and burning to disk from librivox.com and other websites where they are free of cost (except CDs to burn to) and copyright free. This was especially great when the kids were younger and most of our reading was read-alouds......my voice can only handle so much reading, and I figured it didn't matter WHO read to them, right. And of course I was always still there to pause and discuss. Now that they're older and can read on their own, we don't do as many mom read alouds, but we do a lot of audio books so that we're all listening together and still have time to stop and discuss. Anything that you want to memorize can also be worked on in the car...poetry, math facts, songs, state capitals, presidents, whatever. Make a game out of it and the kids won't groan as much about it, though. I have one child who simply MUST have her hands doing something or she just starts breaking down......so she is never without some kind of pencil/paper or handiwork (crochet, knitting, embroidery, quilting, you name it). Now the advantage to this is that all of us have lovely hand embroidered clothing! Just be sure that this child has a clip on lamp.

I think it's normal even for experienced homeschoolers to come home from the vendor fair a bit overwhelmed. There are SOOOO many choices, and having just a few minutes to look them over they almost all seem fantastic. It's not until you get them home and start really digging in that you find some of them aren't right for your family. I really wish the local teach stores had more of the homeschool titles available....I'd take an afternoon and go sit and read curriculum. Ok, that being said.....IMHO the first thing you really need to decide/figure out before you choose a curriculum is how you teach and how your child learns. This makes a world of difference in which curriculums will actually work for your family. The very best curriculum in the world won't work for your family if it goes against your child's learning style (and your teaching style). It just will never click. Do some googling to research learning styles. Don't skip on the time for this, research until you feel confident that you have a clear understanding of the different learning styles and which one you and your child fit into. Don't be surprised that both of you fit in more than one style, but try to determine which style is MOST like both of you. Once you know what learning style then you need to determine what your education goals are.....and those can be so wide and variable that I couldn't even begin to list them all....but there are many encompassing "methods". Just because you're on the Well Trained Mind board doesn't always mean that you have decided that Classical is your method, but often people who are here start out as Classical and perhaps morph into something else over the years. Even if you've decided Classical is for you, there are even different philosphies of that as well. Basically, the better you know what you want out of homeschooling, the easier it will be to narrow your choices of curriculums. And once you have the learning style AND the method.....the choices become less overwhelming. Yes, it takes some work and research, but believe me, the time spent will be well worth it. I truly wish someone had suggested learning styles to me for my first two years of homeschooling......I wouldn't have come so close to giving up. Once I learned that the reason it wasn't all warm and fuzzy wonderful for us, like it seemed to be for everyone else, was because my teaching style and my first child's learning style were complete opposites. I was teaching my style, but she was fighting it every step of the way. After a lot of reading and a lot of soul searching, I figured out ways to teach to her style but still stay sane.....and the rest of the years have been much much smoother. Good luck with your research....and whatever you do, stay away from the Rainbow Resource catalog. It will send you straight to the funny farm it's so huge and has such marvelous description of everything.....and believe me when I say buying everything that sounds good is bank-account breaking, lol.

That sentence is what I would use....if it's a big deal to her, than I'd make that a priority. Really, how much time do you spend a day on math....30 minutes, an hour? I'd do that first thing each morning then go out and enjoy the rest of the day. Especially in light of two things....SHE wants to move ahead....and she's finally clicking with math and losing that because of a long break would be really sad. Check your library for books about math games.....and maybe try to incorporate some fun learning into your summer as well. It sounds like she's really enthusiastic about her progress, so keep it up! Personally I don't worry about whether they're working on level...I mean I don't stop doing Language Arts because they're reading/comprehension is 2 levels above grade, so why would I worry about their being 2 months behind in math. I'd spend a little less time on LA and more on Math if I thought the gap was too large, but a couple months....nah, now that she's clicked it will catch up on it's own. My concern with something like math would be the potential loss of concepts because of a long break. For that reason alone I would do math over the summer. Honestly, that's one of the reasons that we school year round is so that we don't have huge gaps of time to forget what we already learned.....ok, that and so that we can take advanatage of travel or other fun things whenever they come up without saying "nope, gotta do school and not that fun thing". Early on I kept track of hours/days to be sure we weren't slacking and we still put in more than public schools, so I stopped worrying.

First thought was definitely time to switch umbrellas....but then I see you said they all have that requirement. Have you talked with other homeschoolers in your area to be sure that you haven't missed an umbrella that might work better. Or....do you even HAVE to work with an umbrella? I'm not in TN so perhaps that's a requirement? In my state you aren't required to work with an umbrella, though there are several around for those that want. I'm not a big fan of umbrellas because they have control....I homeschool so that I'm in control of their education. I know a lot of beginning homeschoolers choose an umbrella because they're not completely confident to go it alone......but really, you CAN do it alone (if your state allows)...and this board is much better to bounce concerns and questions off of than an umbrella whose sole purpose is to keep you doing things according to their plan. You've got a year under your belt and sound confident that you know what you want (and that the church isn't quite it)....so you just need to tell yourself that you can do it! Ok, in case your state requires that umbrella and there really are no others that will allow you to do as you see fit.......Could you allow the younger child to attend the classes the days required and do what you want with her at home? I mean, seriously, how much testing could she be required to undergo in 1st, right....so if she's not quite working at the level they think she should because she wasn't doing her "homework" would they even realize. You say it's not what you envisioned for your family, but is there anything objectionable? If so, obviously that's not option....but if it just doesn't fit in with your plans I'd just let her attend and enjoy/glean whatever they're teaching.....but the "real" school work would be done at home by your standards. In otherwords....treat their school as "enrichment" instead of "core". Quitting and hoping that you can get the job back is probably not a great idea in this economy (well, maybe in any economy). Even if it's low paying, many people would keep it, like you have, because of the great work environment. So it may not be available when you're ready to come back. And while a boss may say "sure we'd love to have you back"...if your replacement stays more than the year, boss might not be able to take you back. So I definitely would try to exhaust everything else before quitting. In fact, I'd probably "suck it up" and do their requirements for this one year before I'd quit. Unless there is something objectionable in their curriculum, of course, but I'd just do it and know that she's learning something, and next year it can be more to your standards.

I don't know that I've ever found one that had everything I wanted.....but here are two that have great collections. I also find that if I do a search for a particular person I'm usually able to find something that I can right click and save to my computer for printing. http://etc.usf.edu/clipart/sitemap/sitemap.htm http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/

Well, I'm gonna venture to guess that if you're on this board then it's because you take their education seriously. And it's obvious from your worries that you love them....so I'll guess that whatever it takes you are taking care of their basic needs (including hobbling on a foot that should probably be propped up somewhere and hurting your wrist along the way). So....what exactly will be harming them? The fact that they are learning first hand how to be patient and compassionate with someone who is not having the best of days (weeks, months)? The fact that because you aren't always able to cater to them hand and foot (no pun intended, lol) that maybe they became a little more self-sufficient and independent sooner than other kids.....and that they are also learning the wonderful character trait of serving others....something that I think a LOT of us work hard to instill in our kids, but struggle with them taking too. My kids are great at service when there is a purpose....like I'm in bed with a migraine or Daddy was up all night with a work problem and is dragging today.....but get them to offer the same offers of help and doing things that need to be done without being told when we're perfectly able to do it for them.....eh, not as often as I'd hope! Remember the important things.....your kids needs love....your kids need the basics of food/shelter...and they need a good education. Anything beyond that is gravy. They do NOT need the latest gadgets that money will buy....they do not truly need their parents to cart them around to every extra curriculuar activity on the planet. Sure these things are nice....but they're are necessary to their well being. I had a friend who's mom had cancer during our high school years....she was very sick, then she got better, then she'd be very sick again.....the dern stuff just kept coming back and she kept fighting it off. Becky's dad had left them years ago and never kept in touch, so it was just Becky and her mom. When her mom was in hospital for long durations, Becky came to stay at our house, more out of being lonley not out of needing care....but when her mom was just sick from the chemo and unable to do things like cook, shop, clean, etc.....Becky did it. When her mom was well, she insisted that Becky "Take a vacation" from the work and we had grand times going off and being teenagers with her blessing. With her mom so sick so often, you know they never had a lot of money, but they made do (and often found care packages on their door...wonder if they ever knew it was my mom, lol). Anyway......Her mom died while Becky was in her second year of medical school (yep, she wanted to do medicine to find a cure for mom). Becky took a year off to mourn and decide if she still wanted to do medicine if she couldn't save her own mom....and decided to go back and finish to cure someone else's mom. She works in cancer research for a very prestigious facility......and she is raising two kids of her own and she and her DH raise horses, she runs marathons, and I can't even begin to mention all that they do, it would exhaust me, lol. In many ways I honestly believe that Becky got her "get up and go" spirit because of the hard times she had.....she was my friend from elementary school and she and I were never quite as active and "do-ers" before her mom got sick and she had no real choice but to do. I went along for the ride because she was my friend, but honestly, I was much less motivated after college. I wanted an interesting career but one that wouldn't require my entire life, a DH and some kids. I wanted to travel more than I wanted to work, lol. Becky wanted it all, and got it. So.....yeah, life may be a little harder for your kids right now....but based on my experience, it will benefit them for the rest of their life. So....concentrate on love, basic needs and a good education and they'll be fine. And also concentrate on getting yourself healthy...for YOU, not them. You deserve it.

Moving to a smaller house is not fun....but if it is necessary, then you WILL find a way to make it all work. Will it be perfect? No of course not....but you know what....you will survive as a family. And it will get better. Mostly because you'll want to work towards that as a goal. Find a house that suits your needs for price and safety......and realize that the size doesn't matter as much as you think it does. Survival matters right now. AND most importantly....THIS IS NOT FOREVER. Sign the shortest term lease that they will accept and use that as your goal. You sign a one year lease, then your goal is to work like the dickens for that year so that come renewal time you will be able to move up to something that makes you happier. It's so much easier to work hard when you have a goal and a deadline. My husband grew up with 7 kids, 2 parents, grandma for a few years in his high school days....and they always had at least two dogs and various cats, birds, hamsters, whatever. And that house was built by his grandpa and dad and was a whopping 1,000 square feet plus a basement. But the basement was always damp so it was not livable space....but the washer/dryer were down there and dad's workshop. Was it fun....yeah, sometimes he says....and just as often he LONGED for his own space. Just somewhere that to go and close the door and no on would bang on that door or come through...even the bathroom wasn't sacred. :tongue_smilie: BUT....and this is the part that he had to grow up before he understood.....his relationship with his siblings is much much much much closer than mine with my 2 siblings....and we lived in twice as much space as they did. You will survive this. You will still have your warm loving family all around you. And those are the imporant parts. As for the dog and the wood floors....don't even consider it....because you WILL be repairing/replacing those floors. I have yet to see a wood floor and dog that are compatable. I know it's hard for the kids to lose their pet.....but it's necessary for now. If at all possible, see if you can farm the dog out for a year.....that can be the kids incentive to help you towards the goal of being able to move up and into a place that you can get the dog back. It might also be easier to find a home for the dog if you give a definite end date. Some rescue places will also make long term arrangements when they know their is an end date. Don't underestimate your kids.....yes they'll be sad, but they'll survive. The kids can certainly help with the goal of saving up to move up....I can't recall the ages of your kids.....but preteen/teens can work outside the house doing odd jobs to earn a little money.....the younger kids can help you by SAVING money. I actually find it's easier to save money than to earn it, because I simply don't have the time to go to work....because my kids are my job. But....I can turn saving money into time well spent with the kids.....cooking from scratch (often the kids help, just as often they do their work at the kitchen table within feet of where I am preparing and cooking meals). You'll learn to make more than one meal at a time so on days when other things take you away from the kitchen you aren't stopping for takeout or buying a frozen something for dinner. I couldn't handle the once a month cooking, because I dreaded that one day too much....but it was easy to cook larger quantities every day and freeze the extra. We now have enough extra meals that I could take a month off and we'd still eat well. So if I ever get too busy, or catch the latest bug, we're fine. Food is our biggest expense, so it was the best return for time invested. But...there are many other ways to save, some seem almost not worth it by itself...."oh that's only a $5 savings a month"...but that's $60 a year....and if you have 10 of those "little" savings, that's $600! And the extra bonus....my kids will be able to save and invest more of their income once they are on their own....because for them this frugal way is a way of life, it's all they've ever known......unlike spoiled me who had to work at it. And because I was so spoiled we wasted the early years of our marriage accumulating "things" instead of investing in our retirement. If only I had some of that money I wasted on fancy meals and extravagent vacations in investments......we'd be able to look at retirement in a few years instead of a decade or more. AND, my kids would have college paid by us, rather than loans they'll have to repay. I feel that is probably the number one lesson I want my kids to leave home with....I don't care nearly as much if they know history, science or math as if they know how to live life without wasting your future for it. It was a hard lesson for me, but now I love finding ways to save and yet we still have grand vacations and lots of little extras.....but we have no debt except the house, and haven't for more than 12 years. Good luck to you....I know it's scary.....but I predict that a year from now you will not only be a much stronger person....but a much happier one as well. AND, you will see that it wasn't that God hated you....it's that He loved you enough to let you go through this and become that person. Remember the "footsteps" story....where the man looked back at his life and saw two sets of footprints in the sand during the good times of his life, but only one set of footprints in the bad times....and asked God why He left in the bad times....and God said "I didn't leave you my child....during those bad times, I was carrying you.". (Ok, that's paraphrased, but hopefully you know the poem...if not, try google). I think God is carrying you right now, and you are struggling and making it hard for Him, but he won't drop you. Ever.

Whether you decide to keep it or to return it, PLEASE leave this seller negative feedback. Most of us rely on feedback to determine whether to buy from this seller or that seller when price/condition are simliar......and when people have a bad purchase and decide they don't want to post a negative for whatever reason....well, it makes it hard on everyone to know which are truly the good sellers and which aren't. Think of it this way....if there had been a couple of buyers posting negatives like "very good listed but half pages written in".....would you still have purchased this from that seller...or would you have kept on looking????? Until their feedback hurts their business, the bad sellers aren't going to change. I have learned to now look at other things they have for sale even if I'd never purchase them.....some sellers list EVERYTHING as very good....and sorry, but no way do I believe that your thousands of used books are all in the very best condition....so it's a check box to you, not a truth. As for whether to keep it or not....you're probably correct that it's not worth the hassle of returning it especially since you're short on time, and the cost/trouble of returning it going to eat up most of the cost. Maybe you could invest in a large bottle of white out.....it won't look great, but at least it would then be useable. Just be sure that the pages are completely dry before you turn to the next one.....don't ask me how I know, lol. Leave the book on a table (I used the kitchen counter), white out facing pages.....then every time you walk past do another set of pages......I had a book simliar and it took the better part of the day but felt like no time at all because it was a minute here and there. Or....enlist the help of a younger child to do the whiteout......they'll think it's fun.

I've had Mastercook for many years...started with version 3 and stopped upgrading at 8, lol. Yes, you can enter your own recipes, and yes you can create grocery lists from it, but since I need more groceries than just from recipes, I don't use that feature. The feature I think I love most is that you can create your own cookbooks, complete with covers if you choose. Instead of cramming all your recipes into one place, I have them sorted by theme/food, etc....I even have one for homeschool recipes, you know things like making your own playdoh etc. Used that one a lot more when the kids were littler, but it's still there patiently waiting for grandkids, lol. MUCH better than having them all over the place on scraps of paper, or in magazines, or on the computer. Organized and easy to find. I also have a cookbook for "tips"....you know when you're reading a magazine, or even this board, and it gives you a great idea that you want to remember, but you'll never remember where you put it.....mine are in "tips". Keeping it up is probably the hardest part.....I have to remind myself to do it now, not later, or it never gets down. A lot of them aren't pretty...they are cut and paste dumps, but at least the info is there, lol. The other nice feature is that you can insert notes.....and since we tend to do a lot of potlucks with friends, and/or have friends over for meals........I note who I made what for, so I don't make the same recipe twice....silly, I know, but it's a nice feature to me. I can also make quick notes here about it made too much or too little or add something to oomph it up, when I don't want to take the time to recalculate it, etc. Or, added this and it was good, but don't want to necessarily change the original recipe, just know it's an alternative. Ok, you get the idea...notes are good. I took all the cookbooks that I have accumulated over the years and typed all the recipes that we use, or might use, into Mastercook. Even the "how to" type like Joy of Cooking. A big time commitment but spread it out over months and it's not too bad and WELL worth the effort once it's done. Freed up a LOT of book shelf space. Can't believe how many cookbooks I had where we only used 1 or 2 recipes from it....and there were only a handful of "maybe try this" types. Same thing for the million magazines that I was saving with the page turned down on a recipe I hoped to try "someday" and the torn out page pile, lol. I actually created a cookbook called "recipes to try someday" and once I try it and we like it I move to "tried and true"....or delete if we didn't like it. You can also get millions, and I mean millions, of recipes FREE online that are already in Mastercook format. One hint....download them into separate cookbooks (I did it based on where I got them, so I didn't repeat a download later) and be careful about getting your cookbooks too full.....thousands of recipes in one place sound great until you want to sort them or search through them. I download them in books named by the person/website/location that I got them, and then I sort through them and dump the ones that don't sound good, move the good ones to my "try" books. Then I leave the shell (but rename it z-empty-person/website) so that I know that I downloaded it already and don't repeat it. The z puts it at the end out of sight, but easy to find before I download again. You can often find the base Mastercook program for about half the price of the "deluxe"....deluxe being the included recipe books that jack up the price.....my advice....if you are like most of us and already have zillions of recipes, go for the base program only. The included recipes aren't anything special....are often found in the collections that you download from others even....and almost always can be found from simliar named cookbooks at the library if you really think you want them. An alternative that a friend chose was to subscribe to allrecipes (there is also receipzaar andother places)....you can not only upload your own recipes (and share them with the world) but can easily move the site's recipes from others into your online cookbooks. I personally didn't feel like the annual cost of a subscription was worth it....my friend isn't especially computer savvy and dreaded the thought of learning another program so it was worth it to her. I didn't find the program difficult to learn way back when it was super new and much less user friendly....now the upgrades take maybe an hour to review and play with before I am comfortable. But....I also consider myself computer savvy, and my friend can barely handle email to hear her talk. Oh...and one last thing....the program itself doesn't take up much harddrive space....but as you add thousands of recipes, photos, cover art, etc, it does start to grow. I originally had put the program on my C drive, but that of course is the one that if anything happens to your computer will either lose everything, or have to have everything moved to be upgraded, reloaded, improved, whatever.......so I changed the default installation to another harddrive that has plenty of space. BUT....since I don't have my tried and true recipes anywhere else, I also keep a CD copy of it. Some of those recipes were handed down from great grands and to lose them would be very sad. I do not bother to backup the "try" or the "sort" type books....I figure if they die, I won't even know what I lost. Ok.....have you fallen asleep yet? lol

Like others have suggested, for that many photos it will definitely be more cost effective to have them done by a service like Snapfish, Shutterfly, even walgreens and sams/costco. If you sign up for their email lists they all often send really wonderful "coupons".....most of them offer a stack of free prints with your first order....and even if you don't do any of the discount offers you'll probably pay less than a dime a print (4x6). I have a photo printer on my desk but I only use it when I want prints NOW, because the cost for ink is much more than a dime. If you only need a few prints then I tend to use Sam's because I don't have to pay shipping or wait for a free shipping offer. The only downside to using these services is the need to upload your photos....sounds like yours are all digital so at least you don't have the hassle of scanning them first....but uploading 2,000 photos is going to take some time. Most of the services have free storage, so I'd say just set a goal for yourself to upload 20 a day....meaning it will take you about 3 months but at least it's not overwhelming.....and it gives you a chance to take advantage of the deals that come up since they are sometimes limited to how many you can get at the sale price. Enjoy!

We moved into a rental and had friends helping us set up furniture, etc....well, friend was setting up the TV set, saw the cable tv cord sticking out of the wall and plugged our TV in it (he didn't know we don't do cable). Days later when we finally turned on the TV it was showing cable channels....what???? We figured since it wasn't the end of the month the previous renters must have not shut it off just left it til their payment ran out. Well, the new month comes, still got cable......ok, maybe their bill is due mid month....next month comes, still got cable....lol....woah. So, we keep watching....and watching...and watching. Uggg. Love being able to watch Little House on the Prairie 5 times a day, but ummm, that's 5 HOURS. Uggg. Finally a cable truck pulls up to the house while we're outside......turns out that the previous renters never shut it off and of course their bills and shut off threats were forwarded, lol. So....we had about 2 months free cable, and we watched it constantly! Made my resolve to NOT get cable that much stronger. Yes, I would love if we could select which channels we want....I'd love to get some of the ones that have truly worthwhile shows, but I also fear that we'll fall back into watching Little House (or something similiar) for hours on end. I feel like we never have enough time in the day now, I can't imagine how much worse it would be if we watched hours of TV every day! (That's not a flame to those that do, I just know my family can become vegetative in front of the TV, it's scary a little how easily we can/do when we're in a hotel with cable!) Your family may be different, may be able to restrain themselves and watch just the good stuff. You probably won't know until you try. A few years after the rental cable, we decided the kids were older now, those educational channels would be totally cool to have...ok, and the sci-fi channel, lol.......so we went ahead and got cable....and immediately fell into those bad habits again....my heavens they had ER from the beginning....they had a channel that played nothing but old sitcoms from the 80's.......they had the Disney channel........and that other kids one....and more cartoons.....and some really icky channels too......but suddenly we were watching TV for hours a day again....and late late into the night. And our life was suffering for it. So we pulled the plug. And have never looked back. So, maybe your family could just give it a test run.....maybe agree that you'll all look at your habits this fall and see if you really should be keeping it. Of course, consider whether you're the kind that could pull the plug if the answer is it's not been a good thing for your family...it was really hard for me to do it....and none of were happy for a week or two afterwards (sheesh, we could be watching blah blah was a constant refrain). Then we slowly got back to doing other things....family game night came back, etc. Anyway....our cable company didn't require a committment/contract, it was all month to month....and we got in with free installation, so thankfully pulling the plug didn't cost us anything. For those times that something super spectacular is on, about 90% of the time we've found it comes out on DVD shortly after it finishes airing. Our library is great about getting them, though they can be slow, so we don't get to see it for a few months. But we're patient. I've also found that lots of things are available to view online, often free, months later. I've yet to feel that our life has been shortchanged because we missed something that didn't come out on DVD or that our library didn't get.....but I did feel that having cable in the house was shortchanging our quality time together as a family, and eating into our life. It is an easy decision to resist those weekly sales flyers now. So....have fun with your trial! :tongue_smilie:

Holy Moly! Ok, well I have Vol 1 and 2 read by Barbara Johnson, we enjoyed her reading, but had the Jim Weiss volumes been available we'd have bought those instead, as we've been fans for years. But, hey, if anyone really wants the Johnson volumes, I'll sell them to you for the low low price of $200! Hmmm, doubt I'm gonna get many takers even at that "discount" price, so what do you think a reasonable price WOULD be? I can't remember what I paid for them it's been so long ago, and looking on ebay there aren't even any copies available. Seriously...any idea what reasonable would be?

What is the legal status of dad? Is he named on the birth certificate? Has there been paternity tests to determine him to be the legal father? (And that's not a judgment thing against your faithfulness...it's a legal question) Reasons for asking...most states consider unwed mothers to be the sole custodial parent until paternity is proven. Some states consider dad's name on the birth certificate as mom's admission that he's the father....other states won't accept it for unmarried parents and require paternity even if he's on the birth certificate and signed it agreeing. If he's not on the birth certificate, then paternity test is required for him to stake a legal claim. So...if you are the only legal parent, then yeah, you can do what you want with your child, live where you want. That said, though, if he objects to that it's a matter of filing for paternity determination and then requesting custody....so then it gets messy. There could also be a jurisdiction fight....if he files first in TN, they could claim jurisdiction, especially if you haven't met Florida's residency requirements, even though you lived in TN a short time, you may have broken your residency ties to Florida. blah blah. In other words....it can get really messy. Better to try to work things out before you leave so that you don't find yourself in a world of complications once you return to Florida. Best advice I would give you......go see an attorney in TN and ask all these questions. Most of them will offer a free consultation (call the TN state bar to ask for a referral to one that does, and one that specializes in family law). Then call an attorney in Florida (in the County you intend to move to) and ask the same questions. Then you'll have some idea what the laws of those two states say and how much conflict the two laws may create in your situation. Good luck. :grouphug:

Yes, I thought it was quite moving. My impression of Farrah had always been the gorgeous and she's knows it, superstar, treat me perfect. And yet, she not only allowed, but instigated and charged her friend with taping her going through quite embarassing and humiliating procedures, vomiting (this was actually a bit too graphic for me...I'd have preferred a little discretion or at least hearing not seeing). And Ryan....wow, not sure he's going to make it when she dies. How wonderful for her to have found someone to love her so deeply after all the heartache she has had in her love life over the decades. I'm guessing that this is going to be available for purchase before long. I think it would be well worth purchasing. She message about living and fighting for life was quite strong. I know when I first started watching I wondered why it was being aired before her death.....now I understand.

Not only are there different ways of learning....as someone said above.....but be sure to talk to your daughter that everybody learns at a different rate. I have a child that learned to read chapter books long before age 7.....and I have another who is already 8 and still struggling. And then I also have a set of identical twins.....and guess what they didn't learn to read at the same time....one took off much faster than the other. Talk about hard to convince the kid who struggled that she wasn't dumber than her twin! But I pointed out the things that she could do that her twin (and in some cases older siblings too) couldn't do...or couldn't do as well. Drawing for this girl comes naturally...even as a toddler you could tell what her drawings were....her twin sister doodled and scribbled. The point is that these kids all had the same teacher (me) and all started out with the same curriculum....though we have changed for those struggling, to find something that would click with them. So all things being the same as far as teacher/curriculum, why wouldn't they learn it the same....because they are all different kids, even the identical twins. That's hard for some adults to grasp, so you may have to remind your daughter many times when she's doubting herself, that for HER, this is normal. You said that your daughter is picking up piano almost by herself.....remind her that some kids can take lessons for YEARS before they can pluck out two-handed, multi-fingered harmonizing melodies! But she can already...and without an instructor! Does that mean the other kids are dumb? No of course not....it means that piano is easier for her to learn than it is for other kids. In the case of reading, she is going to have to keep working because reading doesn't come as easily to her...but it does to SOME other children. And then point out the leaps that she has made since Mom started giving her a little more help.....that maybe she wasn't getting the right kind of help at school, so that's why you are going to homeschool her. (I'll venture to guess that she's also worried you're suddenly homeschooling her because she's "too dumb" to be in school..... the thought process of a little one, especially since it sounds like the timing wasn't the best between the teacher telling her she wasn't going to 2nd grade and your decision to homeschool). If she still needs convincing.....take her to the local teacher supply store....point out to her all the hundreds of books about learning to read. Not sure if she's old enough to grasp the concept that if everyone learned the same way there wouldn't be a need for so many different ways to teach, but plant that seed just in case. Also, if there is something that Mom or Dad (or another close adult) has struggled with, point out that this person not excelling at this doesn't make them dumb either....it just means they have to work to learn it. Sometimes pointing out that even adults have struggles help kids realize they aren't hopeless. Regardless of your daughter's struggles (whether real or not) that teacher should NEVER have made your daughter feel stupid and threaten her with not going on to another grade. As a teacher she definitely should know that too. I'd be livid over seeing any child treated that way. Teachers should be building them up, not tearing them down. Even if your daughter did need to be held back, there are better ways to handle it than this insensitive teacher did.

Yes, I understand you have him 335 days and dad barely 30.....but do you really want that to change? Or is your anger really because DS wants time with his dad and dad doesn't care. I doubt it's the number of days...its the quality of those he does have and the lack of attention the other times. Sadly, this is not unique. The two most common complaints from ex-wives.....he's not paying his support or he's not spending enough time with the kids. All other issues are so far down the list that they don't count, lol. And in your case, I think you know that he's never going to be the dad your son wants (or deserves), so it's probably best to find ways to accept it as the anger isn't healthy. Helping DS accept it is harder, but if it's causing trauma in son's life might be worth pursuing counseling for him. Sounds like your ex is repeating the sins of his father.....you want to nip that trend so that your DS doesn't let his own hurt cause him to act that way someday. Yep....I'd give up support completely if it meant being able to homeschool. Courts still aren't quite homeschool friendly so that's going to be a leverage of a lot of mom's for a while. And a lot of Dads know it....can't tell you how many folks I know where Dad was a big supporter of homeschool....until the divorce and it meant mom can't go to work to reduce his support obligation. Suddenly homeschool was never a good idea to him. :confused: I know one dad who was president of the support group, but the divorce apparently made him see that homeschool is evil, lol...or maybe it was that money is better. :ack2: And...leverage is always good. :tongue_smilie: Honestly....it sounds like you have your heart and your priorities in the right places....problem is that they're two different places. Your love for your son makes you want to "fix" the problem with his time with his dad....but the reality is that you can't fix it. It's going to take some miracle for Dad to suddenly become the responsible one and see that his son needs him and make the room for his son. It's totally different when the child is in the house with you all the time....you know your responsiblity and you accept it....but when you're away from the day to day it's easy to skirt the responsibility and maybe he's even saying "next year I'll have more time with him". It's one of the big downsides to divorce.....each parent is automatically going to have less time with the kids, even in a shared custody it's just not the same as being there day in and day out. You are losing 30 days a year of your son's life.....if things were different, I'm sure you wouldn't take off on a 30 day vacation away from him....but in effect you are away from him that long now. It's your reality and you have to make it work best with what you have to work with. Just be grateful that you and ex and gf don't go for each other's throat in every conversation! That is actually more common. :scared:

I agree with Susan....I would take a very relaxed schedule so that I wouldn't feel "behind", but I also wouldn't take that long of a break completely. Perhaps choose which subjects you feel need to be kept on schedule the most and concentrate on those....for our house that would be math and grammar/writing/spelling. While I consider our curriculum to be literature and history centered, those are the two subjects that I most want to ensure that we do almost every day. We school year round simply so that we can take days/weeks off when we want...when life gets in the way, or when events come up that we don't want to miss. Sometimes they're educational, sometimes not, but knowing that we put in more days over the course of a year, I don't worry about missing time when something comes up. We travel a lot with DH when he goes away on business, so we often do "school on the road" and those subjects are easiest to transport. Math would certainly be one that could easily be done admist the chaos of moving.....if your child can't work the pages themselves, have them bring their book into the room and you can talk them through it while you pack that room. If your kids are so little that counting is the lesson of the week, have them count how many items you put in each box...or how many boxes are in the room. For older kids, estimate how many boxes the room will require. There are lots of ways of getting math into an ordinary day and math is one of those subjects that requires resources that would all fit into a backpack and be easily transported and done whereever. English/grammar/spelling would require a bit more space in the backpack, but can be pared down to the bare essentials without all my tweaking and extras for a time being. History on the other hand.....I use so many resources and so many library books and so much hands on projects, that this does not travel with us. But, when we travel we typically hit museums and such, so they're bound to get science and/or history in that fashion. If your move has you driving to your next residence, and your stuff is a bit further behind, consider hitting some educational stops along the way....it'll make the trip more fun than sitting in the car day after day, and throw in some fun learning that won't really feel like learning. If however, you find that even doing minimal school is too stressful for you....then by all means do what is best for yourself and your family. You can always double up on the lessons when life gets back to normal...but a stressful homelife can have much more damaging effects than some delayed schooling.

Actually CPS can take action they deem necessary for the "wellbeing of the child" regardless of that child's age. Reality is that the older the child the more likely they won't find time to investigate just a "child alone" call without some other circumstance that puts the child in danger. Sad but true reality of their staff/resource issues. I would suggest that you contact your original divorce attorney and ask him/her how the Court would handle such a situation. And if you haven't had any dealings with your attorney since the original divorce or don't want to, then contact any family law specialist for what is usually a free phone consultation. Your state may call them domestic law, or some other term, but basically what I'm recommending is someone who is not just a general attorney, but has extra experience/education in divorce/custody type issues and is certified by their State Bar as experts in that area of law. Because these are the lawyers that spend every day handling just this type of issues, and not only know the laws of TN inside and out, but they know the Judge's sitting on the bench making the orders in these cases....and yes, the Judge matters because it's all about interpretation of the law. When I practiced there were two Judges handling family law....one was very anti-husband if he wasn't fully involved with the kids and if I represented Dad who wasn't a big part of the kids life, I would find ways to get assigned to the other Judge. That was common practice....and since the Judge was assigned based on the last digit of the case number, our clerk would stand there and wait for someone else to file a case with an even number so we could have the odd numbered Judge. :D But.....It sounds like you don't actually need a Judge to resolve this...sounds like if you say no, ex will comply. But it also sounds like knowing the law might make you feel better. You have to be comfortable with your decision as it sounds like you'll have to defend it to your son at least. So perhaps having a lawyer tell you that if your ex were to try to get such an order the Court wouldn't agree would help you in explaining your decision to your son. But ask yourself this......If the lawyer says the Court would make such an order, would that mean you would allow it? I would guess that your posting of the original question was more about confirming your feelings that it was a bad idea. And do you think that the Court has a better idea of what is best for your child than you do? And now that you've given more insight into your ex's parenting skills/style....I think I'd be even less inclined to add another week and suggest day camp. He doesn't sound responsible enough to make this work well. As your son grows older and more mature this might be a do-able situation in the future, but not this year. I'd tell my child that it's something we'll discuss each year based on his showing responsibility while he's in your care. It gives him some incentive to work towards a goal. I do have to say I can see the reasoning behind 3 weeks of vacation for son and 1 week with girlfriend. Guess I'd be happy to hear it wasn't 3 weeks for gf and 1 for son (I saw that more than your way). :glare: Is that really all that different from parents saying they're going on a date night every week and leaving the kids home with a sitter? It's not so much that your ex doesn't have time with the girlfriend, but doesn't have time alone without work interrupting. I have heard date night being described as "Parents need date night to reconnect without everyday life being in the way". Of course, can't say I understand the date night thing either.....haven't been on a date with my DH alone since the first kid was born. We get private time together but not with no kids in the house or us away from the house. But that's us. Your comment about the child coming home from Dad's like it was Disneyworld is also common....even when Dad doesn't spoil him rotten, it's being away and different rules, different choices....not unlike you and I coming home from a trip and feeling it was better than homelife. I used to tell parents to simply plan for the child to be a bit more defiant and have an adjustment time to get back to your home's rules again. In other words, don't plan to jump right back into your routine the first day home....ease into it, but making it clear that he's home from his vacation now and time to get back to regular routine. And sheesh.....I know it's been a number of years since I've done child support caculations but if he's making 200k and you're making zero, $600 a month is way way way low. Even if the court were to find that you have chosen not to return to work and therefore assign you a "salary" for calculation purposes, that's still way too low. When you call that lawyer about the other issues, ask him to run the program showing what you could be getting. But only if you want to rock that boat....it could be depressing if you're not willing to take steps towards it.

Not necessarily.....IF Mom has sole custodial care then if she says no to a caretaker or day camp, or really any parental decision, than the Court says she has that right and Dad doesn't. That's what sole custodial care means (it's called different things in different states, but it's basically that mom has sole authority.....otherwise the term is something akin to "joint" not "sole"). OP only says she has "primary care".....so it depends on the wording of her Court Order. Often primary care is a catch all saying that mom has the kid most of the time so she makes the bulk of the decisions, i.e. she doesn't have to consult the non-primary parent to make decisions. Most orders get more specific, and it's probable that OPs does she just didn't provide that information. Now...that's Court Order....that's not necessarily how a good parenting plan in a divorce should be, and one always hopes that the parents can somehow get over their own issues with the other parent and do what's best for the kids. Of course, if all parents could...well, there wouldn't be a need for family court would there? It does sound like OP and her ex have a healthy relationship when it comes to the child....otherwise this post would have had a very different tone. I applaud OP for wanting to do what's best for her son......but still contend that the child's safety has to come first.

I'm one that suggested the daycamp.....and I guess in my mind it went without saying that as much research and care that Mom would put into checking out the facility/staff near her would also be done. But, I can also relate to your last line, as my children (eldest is a teen) have had 2 sitters in their entire life....my in laws and their godmother. But I can also count on (less than) both hands the number of times we've used even them as sitters. We've never done day camp either. But it is a viable alternative for most families, and just because I choose not to, doesn't make it a bad choice for others.

Children being left alone is completely different from a Court signing an order that permits it. Two different issues. No Court is going to write a custody/visitation order that allows a child that young (and again, we aren't even putting the ADHD in the equation) to stay home alone.

That's a parenting (or lack thereof) issue, not a food issue. Perhaps the OP can gather all the "likes" and try to have each of these items once during the camp. Might not be possible, of course, if there are too many picky eaters, but if this kid really loves Mac & Cheese, then hey, would it hurt to have his fav once during camp? It's not high on my list of nutritious foods, but it certainly could be incorporated into a meal plan. So, try to include something sometime during the week that each child will appreciate. Other than trying to incorporate those items in I'd be sure that each meal was nutritionally balanced and leave it at that. Remember, those without picky eaters are expecting balanced meals...not all orange foods or carbs only or whatever. And from a wisdom standpoint, I think balanced is the wisest choice, especially since you can't cater to everyone's unbalanced needs. Then I'd make sure that every parent (picky eaters or not) got a complete menu for the week and tell them that if they feel their child will be unable to eat a balanced meal because of food preferences that they should bring along food for their child. Have them contact you if they will require refrigerator space and/or cooking facilities so that you can let them know IF and HOW MUCH space is available. I could see this turning into a nightmare if a dozen parents want to use the stove on Tuesday night, or each family brought cases of food needing refrigeration. I'd make it clear that these requirements will be strictly enforced so that you don't run into a space/use problem. Or...tell them it's not available to ward off problems. Of course, this could make shopping tough since you can't judge your amounts on the numbers of campers if half of them won't be eating this or that meal. Sigh. Perhaps make arrangements with a local shelter to come pick up any leftover food each evening so at least it won't all go in the trash. I guess I'm lucky....I don't have any picky eaters...sure we all have our preferences, I'd still have a full and happy life if I never had to eat pork, but I can eat it if it's what the family chooses for that weeks menu. But I have never in my life ordered it in a restaurant or been the family member to propose it for the menu. Since we each get to create a dinner menu each week, we're always assured of having a favorite that week.

:grouphug:Can't help with most of those problems...BUT..... [/url] You can watch missed episodes of LOST online, for free. http://watchlostonlinefree.com/ Ok, so it doesn't solve much in your list, but I also highly recommend copious amounts of chocolate while you watch.

No way would I allow this....first, as many others pointed out, it's most likely not legal to leave a 9 year old alone. More importantly though, is it's not safe. Period. End of discussion. (and we didn't even get into the ADHD aspect, which adds a whole 'nother layer of no way). Now....that all being said.....I think I would try to find a solution. Could your ex find a day camp for him, so that he has something to do that would be interesting (and more fun than a babysitter) while Dad works? Every city in our county has some kind of recreation program that goes the whole day....and there are more private ones out there as well. If so, and if the hours matched up with Dad's work so that the child would not be alone at home, then I'd agree to it. In other words, if Dad works a very long work day and camp isn't that long, then nope, sorry. Plus, of course, there is the issue of what kind of time would the child have with Dad in that instance anyway? And while I also understand that you don't like being the one to say no all the time....the reality is that as custodial parent it's your job. Yes, Dad should be seeing that this is not a good idea, but if he's not been a parent for more than a month a year for most of this child's life, then the fact is that he's NOT going to get it. While technically he's not a "child-less adult", the fact is that it sounds like his thought process is the same as someone who doesn't have a child and therefore doesn't really realize all that can go wrong leaving a child home alone for hours at a time (and again, we aren't even addressing this child's special needs). If you can financially help out, then maybe offer to pay for a portion of the camp. If not, tell Dad that this is the burden of parenthood.....either you have to give the time and effort to be with a child this young, or you have to pay someone else. From my former career, I can guarantee you that no Court in the land is going to agree to a 9 or even a full on 10 year old being home alone all day for a week. The other thought that comes to mind is that most people get 2 weeks of vacation.....so perhaps Dad should use both weeks for his son's visit. If he's not willing to do that, then I think that speaks volumes. Good luck...it's never fun being the disciplinarian but the risk is too great to cave in on this one (at least to me).

As for the mike....my pet peeve is when speakers hold it so close to their mouth that they are distorted. Problem is that the speaker seldom realizes this because the speakers aren't situated so that THEY can hear themselves. So the best thing is to ask someone for assistance (preferably when the hall is empty) and you should speak into the mike holding it in different places and have that person walk around the room. You're looking for feedback on sounds from letters like "P" and "S", so I usually just keep saying Salt and Pepper, lol. You'll have to find the "zone" for the mike with your speaking style....I know for me, I have a booming speaking voice without a mike, so I need to have it at least 8-10" away from my mouth, but my sister who speaks rather softly needs to almsot be eating it....problem is if it's too close to your mouth those P's pop and the S's hiss, so she actually has more trouble than I do with those. Maybe instead of jokes, you could write up a few paragraphs about several accomplishments or highlights of the year (either as a group or individuals) and use those as ancedotes while you're waiting for speakers to take their place. Kinda a history review lesson all in one. As for Jimmy Bob..... He knows he blew it, so rather than focus on that, how about complimenting and encouraging his effort....just like you would with your own child. "Jimmy Bob, thanks for that lovely recitation". "Jimmy Bob, good job" or if you're trying to get the audience to clap when instead they're sitting there stunned at his complete failure...."Let's give it up for Jimmy Bob" and then start clapping like mad next to the microphone. As someone who has to speak publicly a LOT more than I like, I can tell you that the nerves are working overtime when you're done, so it's not likely he'll hear you anyway, though he will hear the clapping.......but his family will be relieved and grateful for your putting a happy spin on their child's efforts. Another thing you want to be prepared for....is the kid who gets up there and either can't get started because of nerves, or who starts, blows it and stops and isn't sure what to do. If it were me, I'd not use the mircophone, but I'd stage-whisper to him, "anytime you're ready" or "take your time" and the blown one, just like I'd say to my child "It's ok....take a deep breath and keep going/try again" For the cryer....you might want to be prepared to escort them off....my experience is that crying is almost impossible to stop in front of a crowd. Just my suggestions.....good luck and have fun !