I can completely relate. It is so difficult living far from family in times like this. I lost my older sister in 2002 from brain cancer and my mother in 2005 from colon cancer. All the while, I lived 900 miles away. It was torturous. In my experience, it was worth it to go home as often as possible. Let her know that she is worth the effort of you returning. I don't know that I would go for months, but I would definitely make the trip as much as possible. My heart breaks for you and your sister. I pray for strength for all of you in what you are about to face.

:iagree:

If there is ever a list of funniest quotes on this board, I want to recommend this one for the top of the list. Thanks again for the laugh! :lol:

:lol::lol: I really like your fairy tale. I might want to live there too :D.

:lol::lol::lol: thank you so much for that laugh! I will have to remember that in case I am ever in tht situation. :lol::lol:

:D Thank you for your perspective.

That is actually a good point. He is definitely one to zone out....good point.

Wow, you really inferred a lot from my post and made many incorrect assumptions.

I am trying to decide which I prefer.... I witnessed my dh looking at another woman today (very mild, nothing that I am concerned about) and when I confronted him about it, he denied it. Even though I proved to him that I saw him, he still denied it. He said he was looking at something in that same area, but not at her. I have been with this man for 20 years - I know how he thinks and he was looking at her and her half-backside that she was flaunting. He would pretend to look around at other things but then his eyes kept coming back to her backside. So, the whole issue of denial is one thing, but it made me think about what I would rather have. Do I want him to pretend not to look or to just look and be honest about it? Right now, I am thinking the second. Just look and if I catch you, be honest about it. What say you?

:iagree::iagree::iagree: We love CLE here!!!!

Hahaha, yes that is true. I am not sure if my dh actually enjoyed listening to the songs or just enjoyed watching me try to sing them all :lol: Either way, it was fun. Thank you all for reminiscing with me!

:D. I am actually only 37 but my sister was 6 years older so I was fortunate to be able to begin listening early. My dh and I had so much fun last night listening to those old songs. It really is a good idea for a date night after you put the kiddos to bed. It was a great night.

What an inspiration! Thank you for sharing. :grouphug::grouphug:

How fun! Did they still sound good?

You could try bowel retraining. About 20 minutes or so after a meal, have her go and sit on the potty, even she doesn't feel like she needs to go. Have her relax and try to go. Do it after every single meal or snack. Her body may get the idea that she needs to eliminate after a meal. In the meantime, I find the Fiber One bars extremely helpful when I am having a slow day.... Hope she gets relief.

Yep, twice. We were ready to expand our family so we were happy. But, yep, it happened.

Anybody remember those guys? My dh and I are sitting here singing Air Supply songs to each other :lol: Thank goodness for You tube. OH MY WORD!!! I have to give a shout out to Chicago, too. Why has it been so long since I listened to these songs? If you want a cheap date, sit on the couch with your dh and listened to all these old songs. What a wonderful night!

I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this type of drama from your family. :grouphug: Just some thoughts to consider: How will you feel if you send a card and it is not acknowledged? How will you feel if you call and you are not received well? How will you feel if you do nothing at all that day? Will you be miserable or can you act as if it just another day? I have dealt with issues from my dh's family and had to finally realize that when I kept putting myself "out there", it was only affecting me. My expectations were never met and I was the only one hurt every single time. They did not care what they were doing to me and did not see any reason to change their behavior. It was when I finally realized that I have more value than to continue allowing myself to be treated that way, that I could stop feeling like I needed to do something else to try to mend the ways. It is still a work in progress, but I am getting there. Hope you find peace with whatever you decide to do.

We provide a very solid education for our kids, so I am not too worried (today, anyway :001_smile:). But what gives me peace is knowing that our kids have the ability to research any information they would like to know and have the know-how to educate themselves. I know that anything that i may accidentally skip, they will be able to get it when they need it. Also, my sister is a high school English teacher and has given me great confidence. She has read some of my dc's papers and said that they are already writing more clearly and with more articulation than her seniors. So that has given me some peace, too. They are 7th & 6th graders.

You were able to help me put some of my thoughts into perspective. I do see much of the disdain for the natural methods among other horse folks, but I think that is going both ways here. I think that, over time, as I have become more educated and grounded I have lost patience with what I perceive as harsh and inhumane treatment. I have seen, firsthand, horses trained using natural methods and there is a huge difference. They can still win competitions and shows while not being held prisoner. A partnership is a beautiful thing and a horse that is a your partner will do amazing things for you. As to the questions above...she uses the bits and spurs incorrectly and harshly. We use bits on our horses, but rarely have to direct them with the bit. Leg pressure is just as effective. I am interested to know, if you don't mind answering, how did you feel training with the more traditional methods after you had studied with a natural horseman? What did you feel you could not achieve with the natural methods? Thank you all for your perspectives. I appreciate your input, as they have all helped me formulate my thoughts and feelings better.

I like that one! I have had a couple of situations where I wish I had said it.

It is certainly your perogative to decide that my family is too big for a two bedroom home. However, I would like to point out that, for our family, two bedrooms have been perfect and I am so thankful our landlord was willing to take a chance on us. I would be willing to bet that her townhome will be in better shape than when we arrived. It will certainly be cleaner. We take pride in our home, just as if we owned it. It is sad, though, that the majority of landlords feel just as you do. We have a mini schnauzer.

Wow! I am highly impressed! What a wonderful answer! He couldn't have been anything but impressed and I am sure your boss breathed a huge sigh of relief. Way to go!

I am in a difficult position regarding a friendship...we are horse people, have four horses and enjoy everything pertaining to horses...you get the idea. We don't really participate in shows or rodeos, we just enjoying being with our horses and trail riding as often as possible. Our horses are very well trained and we have used a more natural approach to their training... We focused first on the relationships with our horses and then began working on different training. We do use bits, but those are used with VERY light hands, and because we had established a foundation with each horse first, we rarely need to even use the reins. Now.... We have a friend that is 100 percent into showing horses and, in my opinion, uses extremely harsh measures to train her horse. Her methods are considered somewhat standard, but this is the first time that I have witnessed it firsthand and on an ongoing basis, so I have been struggling with my feelings regarding this. I feel that what she is doing is completely inhumane. If a horse can feel a fly on its back in a wind storm, why do people think they need to use spurs? Simple leg pressure works...no kicking, gouging, etc. A horse's mouth is the most sensitive part of their entire body and to yank/pull/hold/tie, etc. using a harsh bit is just wrong. So, I am struggling to come to terms with this. It is one of those pass the bean dip situations, but when I have to witness it every day (we are neighbors at the barn) I am having a hard time being able to talk to her about other things, not related to horses. I just can't get over the fact that I feel like she abuses her horse on a daily basis. She is pretty astute and can surely guess how we feel, but we have never had a discussion regarding her methods of training. I just don't know how to have the friendship when horses are such a big part of both of our lives and we are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

I voted to just toss the letter, which is what I would probably do, but if you feel compelled to explain to the friend, you can tell her that you wanted her to know that your family doesn't participate in those kinds of things. You might make the suggestion that she can send another letter to a different friend so the chain won't be broken. I hate chain letters...I am still waiting for my dish towels to arrive from 1997!