I'm so ooooover the 'blonde/blue automatically gives you the gift of beauty' game. Beauty comes in every skin, hair, and eye color.

I think it would be more like her to not mention it. She's never really made positive comment about my appearance and I am surprised that she told me. If I had been dressed in a way she didn't agree with then I could see her saying it to make me feel bad but again....I was far from bad in my dress.

You aren't dense and it is a fair question. Guys at the gym have asked about me and it come back to me or they've directly asked me. Not all guys, just a few. Then there is the incident mentioned upthread about my moms coworkers. I haven't gotten too many cat calls, etc thankfully. I have no idea if general guys in public notice me because I don't pay attention or care. I only know the incidences where they have approached me :)

I hope I'm not. Do you think we can unknowingly do so?

40 minute running this a.m. 80 minutes of weights + plyometrics this afternoon I was on the verge of a migraine so getting through my weight session was not so much fun today.

:grouphug: :grouphug: So sorry for your struggle. You are older now and you are a small person. You could legitimately only need 1100-1200 calories a day. I can't remember if you said you are consistently tracking right now? I say stick to 1200 a day and track everything for 2 months and see if you gain or lose. If you aren't losing then I wouldn't drop below 1200, instead I would add more exercise. Strength training can replace fat with muscle which will in turn cause an increase in metabolism. My dd is small and she is still young. She faithfully tracks and keeps her cals at around 1200-1400 a day. If she goes over that she gains. She is just a slow burner with a little body.

I think I might have mommy issues, lol. Actually, I am only 25% kidding. She was extremely young when she had me and she had a rough upbringing herself. I really don't blame her. She has always been very competitive with me. When I was young I was chubby and she would repetitively tell me that I might be pretty if I would just lose some weight. Then, of course, along came baby sister who was blonde/blue eyed and "perfect". One of those deals. I never really thought about it as something that alters how I view myself but I think it has had more of an impact on me than I have been willing to admit. I think it is why I obsess with weight and fitness and have a difficult time accepting love from others. I suppose I need a couch :rolleyes: I am also open to book suggestions (that might be more in my price range).

:hurray:

I am out of likes so I can't like anything right now. I will say, don't we all have baggage? I mean to some extent, right? I'm sure our kids will have it too :blush:

Actually the first time I read your post I thought....he is probably perfect for my dd. I have often told her that she needs to marry a man with a free spirit but who is smart enough to have deep conversations with her ;) She is a perfectionist who likes her ducks in a row. I know that when she marries it will probably be to someone whose ducks are dirty somewhere, under his bed.

We adopted from a local public shelter. Will they let you walk the dog? Ours would let us take him on walks around the park beside the shelter. I walked him three different times and then the whole family walked him a fourth. We just wanted to be sure. We saw his temperament around everyone and tried all sorts of things with him to see how he reacted. DH even rolled him over on his back and gently pinned him to the ground to see if he growled or snapped. He didn't. I don't think you can really tell by only looking at a dog through a fence or kennel. You need to be able to get some alone time with him/her. Our only reservation was that he was also a little timid (like maybe he had been mishandled). He was hesitant with DH from the first time we met the him. In fact, for the first two months if DH came toward our dog to pet him, he would cower and tinkle on the floor. Now he is fine...no reservations with any of us. He has turned out to be a great dog, especially for our kids. He loves them and vice versa.

I think sweats are frumpy but not yoga pants. I guess it depends on the style and fit of the yoga pant? As far as not knowing what men are doing....I know, right? I would never notice it out and about. I only know when they approach me or other people tell me about their comments.

The thought did occur to me actually.

I am a very outgoing person so I have faced this so much that I am very cautious with being too friendly with men. I honestly didn't speak to anyone or even make eye contact (that I am aware of).

I wanted to multiquote this with zoobies response but it wouldn't let me. So just read my response to zoobie, haha :)

No, I really don't think she was. I think she was surprised by it, honestly. She is not usually in a setting (the gym, etc) where I receive male attention. My younger sister is the apple of her eye and she has always doted on how pretty she is. I think it surprised her because one of the guys specifically said "we've met your other daughter a lot, but where have you been hiding this one - she's even prettier?" You see, my mom dotes on younger sister but has never once in my life referred to me as pretty. I don't think my mom thinks I am pretty? I won't even get into the fact that my sister is mid twenties and never had a date. This is all another counseling session, haha.

:lol: I need to go ahead and draft a similar letter.

Yes, I think this is true. I do smile a lot and hold myself confidently. I lift, I run, I have muscle tone....it comes with the territory and all ;)

Just more coffee...it cures all things. True story ;)

I love my pilot. I love it because I drop the back three seats completely flat to the floor. On a normal day to day basis that will fit us all I have all of that storage for things like Costco trips :) Then when we do need it because the whole family is together or friends are coming along, we can have extra seating in a jiffy. Gas mileage isn't great.

I am sorry. My post was not intended to make anyone feel bad. I have been there - with all young children and baggy clothes. Really, I have :)

I really don't want to open this can of worms but.....here ya go ;) I come from a conservative home. My parents never pushed the agenda too hard but I heard it in other realms (church, sermons, etc) that to draw the attention of a man means that I have made them stumble somehow. I know it isn't true, but that check is still there. The guilt isn't strong because I don't wear scanty clothing (and I have never ever worn a bikini, etc.). But it is still slightly there, if you know what I mean. For example, I was at my mom's office last week. I dropped by to take her a treat I had gotten her. I do not go to her office very often. I spoke to only her and no one else. She called me to tell me that after I left two different guys showed up at her office right after I left wanting to know who I was and if I was available (one just said "man, she's fine!"). The first thing I thought was....dang, what was I wearing? What did I do? I thought back through it....jeans, athletic shoes, pony tail, and even a jacket that I never took off. It was athletic in nature so it wasn't super loose but still.....I had on two layers of clothing. There was a part of me that felt like "wow, it is nice to be noticed" and then that other part that immediately wondered what I did wrong or even felt guilty that their inquiry gave me a nice feeling. I face more of the pick up type stuff at the gym because (even though I am pretty modest) I am in yoga pants and a tank top AND 50% of the guys are there to pick up a girl anyway so I am a natural target :rolleyes: I just ignore them, roll my eyes, or act ignorant.

I did miss that thread. Thanks for explaining the scarlet Y that I sometimes see. I wear them a lot...like a whole lot ;)

I honestly can't remember the details of our two bunnies. We only kept them about a month or two and then I was done. I will say that they were larger bunnies. Maybe someone else has had a better experience. I don't want to make you feel bad about the choice...maybe it is something you should try?

I love them, actually. One of my fav features is my legs because they have a nice shape but then I have these horrible varicose veins so I don't wear shorts...so I love leggings. I steer away from wearing them unless it is with a skirt or very long shirt though.