Police bungling an investigation typically does not help the prosecution, which makes it less likely to go to trial. The justice department is investigating the Ferguson police department and will probably have something to say about the way the whole thing was handled.

I read the links you posted and one from a St. Louis newspaper. I didn't see the video the first time I read the article and now it won't pull up for me. I'm willing to believe what he says. If he was following his department's policy, then I hope he is reimbursed for his time without pay and is able to continue to work.

I googled and didn't find much info on this. The info I did find says this officer used his baton "during an argument." If that is true, he likely wasn't following his department's deadly force/other than deadly force policy. Officer Wilson likely was following his.

While it is much more likely you will be shot by a cop if you are black, I would suggest that white women not be too sure it couldn't happen to you if you act in a way that could be perceived as life threatening to a cop. Here is a news story from my town of an unarmed white teen girl who was shot by a cop. The grand jury did not indict him earlier this month and lots of people here aren't happy about it (though the cop definitely has supporters). http://m.wlwt.com/news/samantha-ramseys-friends-family-dismayed-deputy-who-shot-her-wont-face-charges/29612096 The witnesses said different things than the officer, the dash cam doesn't exactly confirm his story. Even his story doesn't seem to justify the shooting. Very few police officers go to trial for a shooting, so I don't think Michael Browns case is unusual in that respect,

This has been said a million times so I don't know why I am repeating it, but there was no indictment because there is not enough evidence that Wilson broke the law-even if the shooting was not justifiable. After Brown tried to get his gun, it doesn't matter whether he was stumbling or charging toward Wilson. If a reasonable person could have interpreted it as charging, he was within the law. It doesn't matter whether he was charging or not, so you don't need a trial to sort it out. I'm not saying that is how the law should be, but it is the law. Maybe it would have been nice to get answers as to exactly what happened at the trial, but it doesn't really matter what really happened as far as whether he acted within the law or not. (Assuming he was shot while going toward the officer. It is illegal to shoot a fleeing suspect, but I think the forensic evidence said he was shot while facing Wilson). Ftr,I believe black people generally are not treated as well as white people by the police. I don't think Brown should have been shot (but I wasn't there so I cant say for sure). I think the prosecutor should have recused himself. I think police officers should wear body cams if we as a society want to shell out the cost for them. I think there are other cases that would be more cut and dry that a black person was wrongly shot that should have gotten the media attention (the 12yr old in Cleveland for one).

I agree with this. I'm not sure why he pursued him, or what Wilson expected brown to do to surrender without turning around (although I think I saw testimony that he was telling him to get on the ground). I don't think there is enough evidence for a criminal conviction even if Wilson should have done better. I don't think he was being malicious and I don't think giving him a trial would have fixed anything. I don't even think a trial would have given us better information. I could be wrong. Eta: a trial is to see if he committed a crime. Based on the law, there is vey little evidence he committed one. A trial is not to determine if he should have pursued or not, made better or different choices, etc.

As has been mentioned, officers aren't legally allowed to shoot to injure, so Wilson couldn't legally do that. Also, from the outside, the initial encounter (jaywalking) seems really minor to us. However, besides domestic violence calls, relatively minor stops where the person who is stopped has done something else illegal (whether the cop knows about it or not) are one of the most dangerous times for police officers. The cop thinks it is a routine stop, and it can really spiral out of control quickly. In cases like the mass shooting at the movie theater, police officers lives generally are not in as much danger and they at least know the situation a little before responding. Most routine stops are routine, but they can also be one of the most likely times for an officer to be killed. Hopefully they are well trained enough to make the right choices even in those circumstances, but obviously mistakes happen.

This isn't all that unusual in officer involved shootings. I mentioned up thread that an officer in my town was just not indicted for shooting an unarmed person. I agree this prosecuter should have recused himself, but it is not at all unusual to not get an indictment in these cases. The bar is so high. The prosecuter would have to prove that a reasonable person knowing only what he would know at the time would not feel like his life is in danger. I don't really like that I am on here defending Wilson/the prosecuter because there is a lot I didn't agree with. The prosecuter should have recused himself but I don't think it would have changed the outcome. As far as Wilson, I doubt he will ever work as a police officer again. He obviously should have handled the situation better. It's easy to say that as I sit on my couch. We need to change the way law enforcement interacts with the community. Lots if things need to change. I just don't think Wilson should be used as an example or a scapegoat. He likely acted within the law...even if that law needs to change.

My early Christmas present was going to a World Series game in Kansas City. I loved it! That is supposed to be my whole christmas. If I get something else, I would like a rash guard for swimming. I usually take the kids in the evening, but I would love one for when we go during the day. I don't like having to mess with sunscreen that much.

I want to make it clear that I pretty much agree with this. However, you are not charged with protecting a community. When you are able to retreat, police officers may not be able to. Sometimes it is impossible to de-escalate a situation (although that should always be the goal). I don't know if this makes sense or not, but I fully believe in de escalation and am in general non punitive in my parenting. My neruotypical 4yr old will occasionally get into situations that I cannot de escalate (I don't have mental health training and perhaps don't have all the tools). Today he was lightly hitting his brother in the face during lunch (to pester not hurt). Anyway, he just kept it up and was not interested in any solution other than tapping his brothers cheek. I physically removed him from the situation, but he continued to make really bad choices. My point is that he was in a relatively good mood and the situation escalated so quickly. A relatively minor offense turned into big offenses. I couldn't retreat because his brothers right to not have his face tapped is my concern (we sorted it out without violence, ftr). My point is, police officers get in similar situations. Somehow, this situation escalated from someone waking in the street to someone being killed. It is a horribly sad situation, but sometimes it takes two to de escalate. I fully believe that police officers need to be trained to de escalate, but I can't say without a doubt that Wilson didn't use all the tools he had to do that. Maybe he needed more tools, but it doesn't make him a criminal. ETA: I want to make it clear I don't equate a parent/4 yr old relationship with community member/police relationship. Just this morning I was thinking that Wilson should have handled the whole situation better and this wouldn't have happened. Then I had lunchtime with my 4yr old and it hit me that Wilson may have done his best (I have no idea). Sometimes you do your best and your best just does not get cooperation and the situation spirals downward.

I shouldn't have used the word random..it isn't what I meant. Like I said, I agree with the posters who said the entire situation should have been handled better. I can't say for sure if it was handled that way because Brown was black, but I think it is a reasonable assumption. My point was that I don't understand how Wilson being punished helps anything. But I am not big on punishment in general. Wilson will definitely have consequences...it isn't like his life is going on all peachy. Punishing him further doesn't bring Michael brown back. Race definitely plays a factor in some unwarranted police shootings. But, it isn't always about race. An unarmed white teenage girl was fatally shot by a cop in my town earlier this year. The grand jury in that case just came back this month and found that the cop would not face trial. From the info I know, there was at least as much evidence that my hometown cop should have gone to trial as there is that Wilson should have. It's pretty difficult to prove an officer shooting was criminal. (I don't share that story to downplay the racial element in ferguson. It's just the story people are talking about around me and it happened around the same time.)

I agree with what posters are saying about de-escalation, racism, not using military tactics, deadly force being an absolutely last resort. In hindsight I don't think Michael brown should have been killed (from the info I know). However, I don't think Wilson just randomly killed him. How does Wilson going to jail help anything (race relations, police tactics, etc)? Is it just that people want an open/more fair trial? I feel like we will never really know what exactly transpired and why Wilson felt like he needed to shoot (even with an open trial). I guess I don't see how charging him actually helps Michael browns family or ferguson. As to his not mentioning Michael brown in the statement, I would bet money that his lawyers wrote it word for word, so I don't think it speaks to his character or thoughts.

Absolutely agree on knowing the costs up front. When DS got his tonsils out, the dr told me he would go ahead and cauterize his nasal passages while he was under anesthesia (DS gets bloody noses all the time). I said sure. If I would have known it was $800 I wouldn't have done it. $800 isn't a lot for a medical procedure, but it is a lot of money for something that didn't really need done (and only lasted about 6 mos). I have also had the experience of calling around urgent cares to find out how much a routine visit for a child with an ear infection is and not one would give me an estimate. It is ridiculous.

I second wits and wagers family and dixit.

My 2yr old DS has had diarrhea for over a week. I don't remember when it started for sure, but at least a week. He seems to be eating and drinking normally. He is definitely not dehydrated. Sometimes he acts completely normal, then other times he seems to be sick (today he just laid in my bed for over an hour by himself with no tv or anything). He is averaging about 6 dirty (loose stool) diapers a day. They are very watery. Anything I can do to help him? We don't have a dr currently. I am pretty sure I can find one if I need to. Would a dr even be able to help? I don't think it is anything serious, but it does seem to be going on a long time.

Dh and I would like to make travel more of a priority for our family. We have four boys who will turn 3,5,7,9 this spring. We have family in Michigan, Missouri, Kentucky, Florida, and Texas, so places near there would be a little easier. What are some places we should look at while our kids are still fairly young? And also, what are some "must go" places where we should be planning to go when they are older?

I would start with dtap, hib (at least for the 2yr old), and mmr. ETA: I would at least consider getting the flu shot. They can get the mist so you don't really have to worry about the ouch factor. I had the flu two years ago and I don't think I will ever skip a flu shot again. It was absolutely horrible. Good luck!

I think it depends on what else you aren't having him do. My son plays on a competitive baseball team and is their main catcher. His coach was not happy that I let him play at the park the week of their biggest tournament. He fell and broke his arm, but he seriously wasn't doing anything remotely dangerous. It never crossed my mind to not let him play. Next summer I won't do anything different. The risk of getting hurt is quite small and I want him to live a full life outside of his main activity. However, I do see the concern in your situation, so I wouldn't think you were crazy if you made him stay home. Just don't let him go to the park either 😊.

I agree the two are not mutually exclusive (and thankfully our country seems to have learned that), but being on the receiving end of the military cuts right now is tough...and doesn't always feel like "support." I'm not claiming that I have any idea how the government should spend money or how much is reasonable for a military...what is good policy may not be good for me personally. I do know that at least some soldiers are paying for their own transportation/hotels while doing what they were ordered to do because there is "no money in the budget" for that. I mentioned in the other military thread that my dh's unit is not paying for their travel and another poster said something similar is true for her dh. I have other examples, but I admit that I am a bit bitter right now and am working on getting over it 😊. Lots of people spend their own funds for their jobs occasionally, so there is no reason soldiers wouldn't have to once in awhile. Anyway, I could see how, where I am right now, if people were going on to me about spending too much on the military, I may feel like they didn't support my family (not that it would be true-just how I may feel).

I guess I don't understand why a simple thanks wouldn't be appreciated. I like to be thanked for all kinds of things-it makes me feel good....even if I'm not sure how to respond or don't think a thanks was necessary. I see people thanking teachers, first responders, etc. Bosses have an appreciation day. October was pastor appreciation month. Why not appreciate soldiers. Dh does get a little uncomfortable when people thank him, but he really appreciates it. That article was really weird. I'm not sure why my dh should be thanked for your ability to be there when your child was born????

I have never really watched tv. Then, my dh talked me into watching blacklist with him last year and I admit I got hooked. It's kinda fun to finally have a show I watch.

This sort of thing happens to me too. Whether it is true or not, I chalk it up to my kids. Yes, they are well behaved (for the most part) but I have four boys between the ages of 2-8. I actually only know one other family with 4 kids (and we get together with them often, but honestly I don't love hosting at my house because having 8 boys under age 8 is just a lot and I don't really love going there because I feel like even though we help clean up we leave a mess). I think families with less than 4 kids are a little intimidated to have us over. Plus, most of our "family friends" have kids my older kids ages, they have aged out of toddlers. So, I invite them to our house as it is much easier to visit there. I don't think my friends really feel like they can have us over because there isn't a good place for the little kids to play, but they think it is rude to invite themselves over. Also, I still have nap times, diapers, non swimmers, and toddler meltdowns to worry about so I am sure I am not as fun to invite to go swimming as it would be to invite a family whose kids can swim while the moms hang out. One other thing, dh can't really ever watch the kids, so I have to hire a babysitter to get out. By the time I have paid a babysitter for things I have to go to, I often can't get one for fun. I think since I can't hang with the adults without kids very often, it's hard to really get "in the circle."

I'm not sure if a 6yr old is considered little, but I will say mine is usually well-mannered but something about seeing adults dressed up really weirds him out. It's like he knows it isn't really a pirate in one part of his brain, but in the other he isn't 100% sure. So he just acts really strange-which is sometimes rude. I'm guessing this thread is more about kids who are completely clear on what is real and not

Thanks for all the advice. I am feeling much better after a good nights sleep. I do have some support here, but we haven't lived here very long and no family. One of the first days after dh left, DS broke his arm at the park and the friend we were there with took my other three kids while I took DS to the dr. So, I do have friends who help if I really need them to. I also didn't realize how much I rely on my oldest to tie shoes, unbuckle seat belts, carry things, etc, until now that he can't. I also have a teenage babysitter that I pay. But, I have already used her four times for things I needed to do (go to dentist, parents only meeting, stuff like that). I don't really feel like there is money to have her watch them for my fun. As far as dh's unit, it is in a different state and I know absolutely nothing about it. I have never been there. I don't even know what it is called. The other times he has been deployed I always found a silver lining and really tried to make the best of the situation. This time I am having a really hard time doing that. I think I am just burned out since it is the fourth time in a not very long period. Unfortunately, the year just started so it is way too soon to be burned out. I think it will be fine once I get into a groove, I just worry about what if I never do. I know there are a lot of people who have things much worse than me. I am sure one day I will look back and wonder why I thought this was so hard.

Dh is mobilized for a year and making less money than he normally makes. I said before that I wouldn't be able to take good care of our four kids on my own. Well, now I have to and I am struggling. Everytime I think I am in the groove, something else happens and knocks me back. The kids are doing ok so far-loving the junk food and screen time, but that obviously is not a good year long strategy. I know in my head what needs to happen, but how do I actually do it? I have no family here and no extra money. I did talk to my dr and he gave me a prescription for anxiety medication to be taken as needed. It does help when I take it, but I don't think it is meant to be taken everyday. I have never felt like this in my life. Dh has been deployed 3 times and those all went fine (of course I had more army support/family/money and fewer kids). I just feel like I literally can't do it but I have no choice.