Thank you. Wonderfully articulated.

Thanks for sharing - these are great tips. Doing the updates on average days, not around holidays, makes so much sense. We haven't had to think through that too much with our oldest, as we see his birthfamily often, but our DD's birthfamily prefers to keep things closed, so we have been writing updates. What a great point.

Those are great ideas. Thanks! And, yes, there sure is a lot that we didn't learn. :)

Double post. Oops!

Good point. We do something similar with our oldest... He's heard variations throughout his life, and it's changed with time and age. I imagine whatever we tell our little one will evolve in the same way. Obviously, I have more anxiety about how it will evolve for DD, though. Her story is different, though not unique. Funny, DS has just become aware of his birthfather, too! Must be the age, he is just about 9. And, yes, some interesting conversations have arisen as a result. He's actually been asking about siblings (full or half) today. He knows that DH has siblings he's never met, and he just connected the adoption dots there.

Thanks, Tap. It helps to hear other stories, so thanks for sharing yours. There are some similarities in ours, I think, though DD's gets a bit more complicated than your DD's, there's more "mess" to navigate. [sigh] So I think I've been over-thinking this a bit (as usual), and for now, I just need to get the words out, keep it simple, and stick with the bare basics. I think I've worried that DD will someday think we deliberately omitted something, but honestly, that's thinking way too far ahead, and she's only 20 mos, for goodness sake! We are very open, so clearly talking as she asks questions later will be a given. Any more thoughts or experiences are very welcome. It helps a lot. Thanks!

I think that's a good plan. Now I just have to get past the sticky feeling in my throat, my own discomfort, to talk about it the way I should. :) Thanks!

Thanks so much! Gosh, sometimes i wish we didn't know the darker part of the story. Balancing that part is so hard sometimes, though I wouldn't change anything about our DD's life with us.

Thanks. :) So, do I just start out with the very basics of her adoption story, and expand from there, as time goes on? I think I'm stumped on what to share *when* ... if that makes sense? I want her to know her story, but the messy parts... I want to shield her from them, too. Ugh. This isn't making sense. What we learned in our classes just doesn't cover this! I think a book is a great idea, and have been meaning to do that for both kids. Maybe I'll make that the spring project. Doing so might help solidify the words to use when talking to DD about her adoption now, too.

How do you talk to your kids about them? DS's story is one of the almost-too-good-to-be-true stories. Open adoption, so he can verify it all with birth family. We are all close, and his story has been told and retold so many times he can tell it himself. He's read adoption books all his life (various children's books, they stay on the shelf along with his other books), and we've told his story to him since he was too small to respond. We did that so he will always "know" and there is no moment of "finding out." He's 9 now, and his level of confidence and security attest to the value of this. DD's story is harder to tell, and I've not found a comfortable way to tell it to her. It's not a pretty story. She's 20 mos now, and I still have not found a comfortable middle ground. I know she needs to hear her story, on an age appropriate level. I just can't seem to choke out the right words. Her story is so painful. So... Adoptive mamas out there... What do you do when their story isn't pretty? How do *you* create a healthy self image? How do you talk to your littles about adoption?

:lol: Totally stealing the, "What's that Son? Momma's coming!" exit line! Our park is full of zealots and I never know how to get away!

I forgot to say that we use the geocaching app on our phone, too. :)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Geochaching is great fun! You will have a ball. :) We do tiny trinket type toys, too. One silly warning: pay attention to the type of cache you are hunting. We recently spent hours hunting for a cache, and *finally* realized it was a virtual cache. We had been circling it for hours, literally, looking for something tangible. :laugh:

I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

Ooooh, crossing fingers for you. We did that last year, and I think I have PTSD from the after effects! (just kidding, not trivializing PTSD, really.)

Yep! We have boxes of books in our garage stacked on shelves to the ceiling. Ouch. It's painful, but less is more. That's the best organizing advice I've got. :)

We are avoiding crowded places this year, to a degree. No flu shots here, for various reasons, and after our bout with flu last year, I just don't want to risk it. We still go out, but we're not going to theaters or stadiums, or any place with people packed tightly together, and I am seriously debating about attending a large, planned museum event this weekend. Grocery stores, etc, are unavoidable so we just do our best with hand washing and hygiene. DH works from home, unless on business travel, so our exposure is limited to the choices we make re: activities, social gatherings, errands, etc.

Recovering Book Hoarder here. :) We are moving in this direction as well. I am attempting to train myself that we have glorious rooms full of gigantic bookshelves, right down the street - at the library. I have donated, freecycled and otherwise given away dozens of boxes of books, and still working on this issue. As for homeschooling supplies, we are trying to keep it simple this year. I tend to over purchase, because it all just looks like so much fun, but now I'm rethinking that. For now, we have reference books and current books on a shelf in the living room (where we do most of our schoolwork), and I keep smaller books and workbooks corralled in wooden magazine files on the same shelf. Educational games are in a cabinet below that shelf, and we have a math drawer filled with manips, a science drawer filled with supplies, and a drawer filled with planning materials that I use. The drawers are under my "secret desk" (dubbed by DS, it's a secretary desk), and DS has a roll top in the same room with his supplies. I like that both desks can be closed to hide messes. We also have Ikea Trofast shelves and bins to hold art supplies and paper in our kitchen. I have a big bin of science supplies in the garage, but I really need to declutter it. Books we have yet to use go on a bookshelf in our basement, lining a hallway. I do have 2 bins of preschool/K materials waiting on our littlest to grow into them... In the garage.

:seeya: Waving hello. Yet another non-believer checking in. Going to catch up on reading this thread, but it's nice to see that we're not alone.

I read this entire thread before realizing it was old. Then got to this post and snorted coffee. My keyboard thanks you for the laugh. :) OP, if you're around ... How are things now?

I don't know about another tube, but next time just give it in several rounds... Some pellets, let them dissolve, then more, till the vial is empty. That's how I would do it. Sambucol syrup may help, too. Nature's Way makes one for kids. Maybe at your drug store, if you're out. It's an anti-viral. Hope he feels better soon!

:grouphug: to you and the puppy. And your family.

I usually attend this one. It's a good one. :)

That article is truly disturbing.