Thanks, these are good ideas. I'm hoping for something for the door - because MIL is a minimalist, though a plant is an excellent idea, and plants are always welcome. I hadn't thought of a kick plate! I'll check with the home to see if that's appropriate. In their current retirement home, residents often have door decorations, so I was thinking of something along those lines. A dried flower arrangement crossed my mind, but I'm not sure if it would be irritating to other residents if they have allergies?

Right, like that old Mash episode with the baby on the bus? This thread started off about kids "screaming" in Wal Mart, which I took to mean kids having meltdowns in stores or other public places. And that's what I've been addressing, not kids who are playing/running in places that are inappropriate, but kids who are genuinely upset - crying or otherwise - in a public place. Those are two different issues. Compassion is always a good thing. My kids are learning compassion, too. The world will be a little bit better for that, and they will be happier adults, too.

In-laws are making a major move to a new retirement home. They will be in a small apartment, and I'd like to find something - some type door ornament - for their front door. I'd like to ship it ahead of time, so it's there waiting when they arrive. Any good ideas? I thought of a dried flower wreath, but there must be other ideas? Help me brainstorm?

OP, could you gently talk to your friend? I think you said that you and another friend know what your dear friend is doing wrong, and if she's asking... (bad paraphrase, but that's what I took away from your OP, correct me if I'm wrong). Maybe there's a way to gently, kindly give her your thoughts? If she's really asking, "What am I doing wrong?" and not just rhetorically lamenting what's happening in her life. Maybe she's not asking for an answer, just complaining. DH's parents are devout Catholics, and not one of their three kids (who all attended Catholic schools, one even through college), is still practicing. FIL has said to me that he thinks where they went "wrong" was in trusting the Church and school to guide the kids to staying in the Church. They raised one atheist and 2 agnostics. My protestant parents raised an atheist and an agnostic. ETA: Oops, I see you addressed the issue of telling her the problems you see. Sorry I missed that! In that case, just listening to her is being a wonderful friend, of course, and it's great that she has you in her life. :grouphug:

Yes! So true.

If this is the general "you" ... I seem not to fit it. I can't tell. So... What are the signs of a neurotypical kid? A non-neurotypical kid? How do their melt downs look different? I tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. How about a kid in the midst of a panic attack because s/he has asthma and can't get enough oxygen, but doesn't wheeze or cough because it's atypical asthma? (And believe me, as a parent whose child faces this - I can't always tell the difference between something that's behavioral vs. a medical issue, until things have escalated way out of control. So I don't know how a parent who knows their "normal" child, but not mine, can tell.) What about a kid whose first warning sign of his life threatening allergies is a sense of impending doom that creates panic and fear, and who acts out as a result? That adrenaline release when one is physically in danger is pretty significant, you know. Sometimes the reactions progress to epipen situations - those are apparent to all - but other times the reaction might not go that far in a short period of time, long enough to get into a private space where we can assess safely, without others looking on. I don't believe anyone on this thread could look at my child and think he's anything but normal. And he is normal, except for an invisible disability (and allergies of the type he has are considered a disability under the law, in the US). Until an allergen induces asthma or another reaction, that creates a terrible sense of panic, then you might or might not get to see that he has a disability. Or you might just see him panicked and acting out while I try to figure out if it's behavioral or emotional or the normal too tired/hungry/hot/etc ... Or is he starting a reaction, and is his life in danger? You might think I'm being permissive or allowing him to be a brat. Or heavens, I might even text DH in the midst of it all, to come help us, or get the car ready, or to just ask him if he thinks I need to give Benadryl/epipen/inhaler. Fortunately, extreme reactions are not our norm here. But they were, before we figured out the atypical asthma and the panic attacks that resulted. I was afraid to take him anywhere, as a young child, because I didn't know what might happen, what would go on. We were doing our best, with a team of doctors, to figure it out. But it took time. Sometimes you can't know what's in someone else's life, what's on their plate. I'm sure plenty of people judged me harshly when DS was little. I try not to do the same to others.

Find a cleaner who meets your needs, meets them the first time you hire them, and stays consistent. I would not rehire her. If she thinks it's about the money because you found it easier to let her go that way... Fine. But just tell her, "no thanks, it just won't work for us at this time."

I wanted to like this ten thousand times, but alas we are limited to one like per post. This made me tear up, Katie. Thanks for sharing this story. The world will be a better place when more people choose kindness and compassion over judgment, like that man. My son has had his moments in public. I'm sure there have been some judgmental people who've seen us out and about. How can they know what we're doing to work on it, what special needs are at play? How can they know that what we are doing (or aren't doing, in their eyes) isn't exactly what has been discussed with a doctor or therapist? They can't. They don't. My son's issues are invisible, and certainly no one in Wal Mart would know what they are by looking at him. Once, I read somewhere that the most judgmental people are also the loneliest. I'm not sure if it's true, but often I've found that when I think about it... the people in my life who are judgmental about DS's issues fit this. They are the people who are lonely. The ones who are not lonely, not overtly alone or feeling alone, are much more forgiving of others' - and not just my DS. It helps me to think more kindly of the people who post these sorts of "rants" and "vents" about children and parents who are obviously struggling.

Wondering where she is, too, and hoping all is well.

Poser all the way!!!

Unreal! I am with DS at a Katy Perry concert and the romper just walked by!!! If I can get a pic, will come back and post. :)

Playmobil has free shipping this week. :)

Yes, our state, too, requires a certain amount of square footage bedroom space per child, and I think we cannot put boys/girls in the same room. You'll probably need to start, minimum, with a home study. But it's possible, at least in our state, to complete your home study while children have been temporarily placed with you.

Congrats! How exciting!

Unbelievable. I hope he gets out soon, and that he moves away as well.

Aaaagghhhhhhh! Some things we can't unsee.

DS's doc has him take Thorne, we just adjust the dose for his weight.

Yep, that's the stuff. It's every bit as easy as they say.

You could always paint the cabinets later, if you're not happy with just the doors. :)

I used duck egg blue with clear wax. They turned out beautifully. Our cabinets were light wood, and the distressing is just a pale, almost white shade. Once the wax went on... Wow!

I ordered it from the Purple Painted Lady. She ships very quickly, and is great with questions!

I told her to watch for these things (I'm not local). She says to tell you "thank you!" :)

Annie Sloan Chalk Paint!!!! No priming, no sanding. I just painted my cabinets. It was crazy easy. I posted here about it, actually. I only used one quart of paint, though I bought two. I waxed afterward, lightly distressed, and waxed again. It was truly one of the easiest jobs, I wish I'd done it years sooner. Totally understand why they call it "girl's paint" now. :) (and nope, I don't sell it or anything!)

You were probably the one who told us how to do it! I learned it here. :) Thank you!!!!!

First thing I thought was, "She said butt!"