Exactly! It is always a balancing act of making sure you use the special interest as your way into expanding interests and learning vs. it becoming a controlling interest. The book Just Give Him The Whale is all about using special interests for those with autism.

Isn't that the truth! Just wanted to mention about routines being a problem. It is important to not keep everything the same or that can lead to greater inflexibility. It is however, a good idea to have a consistent routine about how you handle the transition, be it in the form of a choice board, visual schedule, a goodbye routine for the activity etc. Make sure if you are just using a visual schedule that he is in charge of removing the item from the list and ideally putting that card in a done pocket. We did a choices board or really what ds's aide called a sentence strip schedule of ds's play time when he was young. When ds first started in early intervention our aide had me take picture of every toy we had for ds. I printed them quite small maybe 2 by 2 I think and laminated them and and put Velcro on the back and stored the pictures in a file folder with Velcro. Ds and I would alternate our picks. We also had a first then board that was helpful - obviously the less preferred activity comes first! Also, whatever scaffolding you choose to use to help him move on more smoothly, it is a good idea to introduce it with transitions that he is already making pretty easily. You always want the child to experience good success with something like that before you try it out on the major sticking point ones.

I like the book listed above. I loved how I could/can just photocopy a rule and stick it on the front of the fridge for us to talk about for the week. There is a great set of books you should be able to get from the library called the Learning to Get Along series by Cheri J. Meiners. http://www.freespirit.com/LTGA/index.cfm?utm_source=landingpage&utm_medium=web-link&utm_content=ltga&utm_campaign=lgta-series I love how well they are illustrated and that they lend them selves to such nice perspective taking questions. Ds never has done well with social stories, but these books which are very social story like were very helpful for him. Also, this doesn't exactly match your question, and I haven't used it, but I had the chance to take a look at the Incredible Flexible You books when I was at an autism conference. It is a wonderful program and really breaks down things nicely for younger kids wish it was around when ds was younger. http://www.socialthinking.com/books-products/tify-curriculum-detail One things that goes into almost everything we do here is the Whole body listening checklist. I have prompted ds with that quite a bit over the years.

I think the most important thing to focus on is how much is this interfering with day to day life. Asking yourself how often you are walking on eggshells waiting for the next thing and/or have avoided doing things that you know will trigger a problem. Of course, there are degrees of this behaviour with all young children but when life seems to constantly be interrupted by these things it is time to book evaluations and get more insight into what is going on.

I am not sure i have any advice for you since I haven't been in your position, but I did wonder, do you think he sees the relationship between his actions and the consequences that ensue? For some with executive functioning trouble there is a disonnect in realizing that they are responsible for, or at least have some control over determining outcomes. Someone who has poor ability to think through the whole situation-action-outcome train of thought is going to look like they have a complete lack of self control, but perhaps he could use more help with the higher order thinking skills of problem solving. An SLP can actually do some testing on problem solving abilities and work on those skills.

It is definately something found in both ASD and ADHD. As Kbutton mentioned it is an issue with transitioning. It actually relates to EF pillar of flexibility. Kbutton, ds was very similar with the continous asking. To me it always seemed like he was looking to engage us in the same argument so he felt more sure of what the outcome would be - even though he would be so terribly upset. For ds who has ASD we used Unstuck and On Target to help us with that. We used it with ds when he was somewhere between 6-7. OhE, your ds may be a bit young for it yet, although I am a terrible judge for age of things since I only have ds to use as my benchmark.... Do you use visual schedule with him? How did he do when you reintroduced the playmobil? Was he able to lower the intensity and transition away from it okay? Often time for kids with these difficulties the removal of items can just up the intensity and cause more trouble. So while it seems like a natural consequence, it may actually cause you larger and greater meltdown over things. When ds was about 4 he was extremely fixated on anything to do with frogs. And boy could he spot any toy frog from a mile away! it was terrible, I would seriously be scared to take the child to the mall for fear of seeing toy frogs and the meltdown that would ensue. Anyway, our therapist suggested developing a goodbye routine to help him transistion from whatever frog toy was his current obsession. Obviously, since they were stuffed frogs or little plastic figurines we could just put it into a box, cover it up and say they were sleeping. Not sure what you could come up for with his BB gun, but I wonder if a consistent routine around it would help him move on more readily. Of course, the first couple of time you try it will probably cause a bigger meltdown, but it may be a tool to try.

Thanks, I enjoyed reading that!

Oh I understand that whole line of thinking, just your earlier post sounded like you had no hope that things could get better. Glad to hear that is not the case!

I think it sounds more like an issue of rigidity in thinking. Sort of like he could only come up with one plan of action and wasn't able to see any other way.

I actually just finished putting together plans to run an asd drama group. Drama has been excellent for my son's non verbal skills and for his perspective taking. Also, I love how it is a natural way to work on social skills without it being direct teaching about what the child should do. I never thought about magic, how clever! My brother is a magician, I will have to put him work next time we go to visit him.

Why do you say he will never think the same way? I know my son will always have challenges with perspective taking and it won't necessarily be intuitive to him, but I can see how much he has and continues to grow with these skills. There really is lots to do that will help move a child's perspective taking forward.

Just wanted to mention with respect to the visual schedule, do you have it set up where he is in charge of taking the item off of a Velcro strip and into a done pocket or crossing it off of a paper list? I find that sometimes people miss that part of putting in place a visual schedule. For some children that extra visual support of the schedule is all they require, but for others it is crucial that they are a part of handling that schedule. It gives them something reliable and consistent to count on when a transition is occurring.

The book Unstuck and On Target is all about teaching children with autism flexible thinking. I used it with my son a couple of years back with good long term results. While some of what you are seeing is most likely rigidity, it sounds like from what you have written you may not be factoring in how impaired his perspective taking abilities may be. Your daughter is able to respond the way she does, because she can take another's perspective. Your son most likely can only see the situation from his perspective. You may want to look at the book Thinking About You, Thinking About Me (or really any number of the books at social thinking.com) for some activities to help strengthen his perspective taking skills. It really isn't a character issue. Perspective taking is a core impairment of autism, and requires lots of support to foster. Edited to add: I don't want that to sound like you aren't fostering it, only mean it as a helpful reminder for the next time you encounter a situation with him. Keeping that in the forefront of my thoughts allows me to utilize those everyday moments to keep moving my son's social development forward in ways that are appropriate for him.

My dear friend is a trainer who has a blog with lots of free HIIT workouts on it www.trainwithtish.com. And yes she really looks like that!!!!!

Oh another book that maybe helpful is The Incredible 5 Point Scale.

In addition to the two books OhE mentioned above, if you have an iPad you may want to look for some apps on naming emotions. One that I can think of off the top of my head is called the I can do apps emotions. You say he is getting speech for his articulation, but has the SLP done any testing on the language and pragmatic side to his language development? I think you need to investigate that side of things as well. Preferably, I would want an SLP who more specializes in pragmatics and auditory processing. He is a bit young for some of the language tests that highlight these problems, so you need an SLP who can use her observations and years of experience to look at it.

Does your son have any language delays? I am just wondering if he may not be able to either receptively take in all you are saying and/or express what he is feeling effectively. Also, how is his emotional literacy skills? Do you think he has much understanding of his emotions? I guess I am just wondering if he may need a few more prerequisite skills so to speak before you can make much use of the collaborative problem solving process. I do think it normal for things to seems worse and that he is more unsettled at first. You have changed the status quo upside down and that is very disconcerting for kids in general and especially if your child has trouble with flexible thinking.

We have one of those stokke chairs, they are fantastic! Obviously, it very important to work on the sensory component to all of this, but you may want to build in some direct teaching on using whole body listening to build his overall attention and listening skills. There is an SLP who wrote a couple of helpful books for kids on whole body listening called Listening Larry. I think you can take a look at them on socialthinking.com.

Jean, so glad to hear you are finding some success in getting the help you need. Hope the process keeps proceeding smoothly for you. J

Just couldn't let me have my 15 minutes eh? Lol!

There is also a great book that he can read himself and work through called Big Picture Thinking. The author did a wonderful job of writing it to fit all sorts of ages. I highly recommend it. What about using one of those circle diagrams that show his degree/level of relationship with others ( I can't for the life of me remember the proper name for it.. Hopefully you know what I am talking about!). I am picturing using a large one of those along with slips of paper that outline the various scenarios that he can sort onto the proper level of relationship to discuss that with. In big picture she uses a pyramid diagram to show the difference in relationship and that would probably work better then the circle.

I haven't really had any experience with the above, of course we do have the odd day where I can pretty much tell we won't be getting anything done....

Why would you want a formal diagnosis? Well Aspergers is a neurological condition. Just like any other medical condition you need to know if that is what you are dealing with before you start treating it that way. If you suspected your child had any medical condition would your first step not be to take those concerns to your doctor and go from there? Really your best first step is to talk with your doctor. I agree that you will have a very tough time accessing services without a dx. Any of the reputable social skills program in our area have a long waiting list and they generally don't take kids without a dx. Also while the social diffuclties can be very apparent at 10, many parents who aleady have a dx of Aspergers find themselves lulled into a false sense of security about the child's overall development. They think things will be okay, "little johnny just needs a bit of social skills help", but really Aspergers/HFA is so much more complex then that. If your child does indeed have Aspergers these are critical years to make in roads with executive functioning issues he has, I would not want to leave that to chance. Those executive functioning issue have a huge determination on your child's ability to lead an independent life.

Well my guy is only 9, but something that has worked well here is having a big weekly planning meeting where I guide him through what events we have for the week and he writes it down in his planner, during this I ask him lots of those curiosity style questions about the things he might need for each outing we have and he notes that as well. Then every night he has to check his planner for the following day and get things ready and write out any reminders on his reminder board in our mud room. It took many weeks of him following me as I wrote down and prepared everything to then moving to having him start writing and preparing with me helping, now we are at the point where he does it mostly independently with me just doing a final check. We also use the goal, plan, do, check system. It is also known as the Cognitive Orientation to Occupational Performance (CO-OP). We had started using it for ds in OT and PT for his motor planning issues, but you can really apply it to anything. It is a framework that really works for ds.

Oh glad to hear things have been relatively calm. Great news about the np! Love it when things work out like that! Hope the testing goes well and gives you some answers and new direction. J