Does he like a particular food or drink like coffee, wine, steak, etc? A favorite author?

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: It's good you know what you need to do and you have support. There's a path; take it without guilt.

I was one of those kids except it was the 1970s and kids went alone to movies more than they do now. My parents had a cultural disconnect, coming from a country where even kissing in movies was banned at the time, so they had the wrong baseline regarding what was the worst that could be shown on the screen. They would happily drop us (or let us tag along with older neighborhood kids) to all kinds of inappropriate movies without realizing it: Halloween II (kids' holiday with candy!), On Golden Pond (sounds like a nature film!), Pink Floyd's The Wall (it's animated!). We also read all kinds of inappropriate books because my parents lacked the cultural context to know what they were and again, had the wrong baseline about what children would have access to at a library. We weren't being sneaky about it, we just thought it was fine and so did they. It was really ridiculous when I look back on it, but we turned out completely fine. We still laugh about it now. I'm not saying anyone should take their kids to see John Wick, and it's especially egregious if the adult is actually sitting in the movie and can see it's not for children. I'm just saying chances are the kids will turn out fine. :)

Good thinking on the food and the chair/ottoman. I hope the other aunt is found and is safe. We will all be thinking of you tomorrow. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Yes I fixed it. I had to go very low carb and high fat and protein. Keto, essentially. I don't always stick to it but I'm foggier when I don't for more than a few days. Which reminds me...

maize, sending many hugs your way as well. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I don't know if this helps, but... My DS was like this. It took some time but I consistently set the expectation what he was working at the right level if he was getting only about half of the things right. Over time we have had him work at a level where he expects to get things incorrect. Not half anymore, but that was a good place to start. In a fun way I would ask him to recite the alphabet, and then ask him what he had learned. He would say he didn't learn anything, and I would explain that if you only do what you're sure of you don't learn new things. We still use this as a shorthand to this day. When he says something is too hard or he seems like he's afraid of failure, I remind him we don't want to "recite the alphabet." Your DD is too young for this, but Beast Academy math helped with this too, as they give harder questions based upon what they teach the student and it's just expected that most kids will not get some of the problems because they are not rote and can really stretch the application of the concept. BA really taught him to work with material and struggle to do his best but not expect to always come up with an answer at all, let alone a correct one.

Cleaning sounds like the best thing to do. Take a break from the crazies and know that your presence there would only offer them more of a post to kick. Glad to hear your backup crew is on the way and that DH is taking you out tonight. :grouphug:

Sounds fine to me. It sounds like he understands place value better than a lot of people. :)

I don't use FB much but I think it's to make people look around the page and see new things instead of falling into a routine. Sort of like when grocery stores rearrange so you have to break your routine and see new items. They've probably seen an uptick in the use of different features, even older ones, after a rearrangement. Very annoying.

I'm sorry. I can relate to your mom's desire to do a burial, although there are cheaper and more expensive ways. For the flowers, I think you'll have to just stay quiet or steer her toward less expensive flowers like daisies vs roses. If you have a Trader Joe's nearby, maybe someone can pick up some less expensive arrangements and bring them as a way to help out. Our TJs currently has a lot of paperwhites.

:hurray: I didn't know you bought a house!

Yes it was very helpful, although DS was ages 7-9 so I can't speak to experience for an older child.

Sure, assuming you have absolutely no drains....

Looks terrible. I'm willing to admit I read the title and the first image that formed in my brain was an adolescent girl with leggings, a puffy jacket, and Ugg boots drinking a pink thing. Was not really wrong, looking into it more.

Faith, I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you're out of that difficult stasis. Sending good thoughts from far away. You already know this, but you're doing the right thing with your son and his exams. Ignore the people who think things have to be a certain way and who seek to control the actions of others to conform to their subjective standards. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I think this can happen, but I doubt these kids spend an hour/day. That's why I said when teens are motivated to catch up, I would expect them to spend more time and really focus in, no differently than they may have focused in on other topics when those were of interest to them. Catching up years in math (and adding on the math they're missing while catching up) cannot be done by most kids in an hour/day. I do agree there's a sweet spot between doing a small amount each day and a massive amount of catch up at once. We do a some math most days because I don't desire to find that sweet spot and because it's easier. But can someone who jogs every day for an hour be passed by someone who was walking but now runs and sprints in a more focused and intense way for 2 hours/day? Yes.

I think 18 months-30 months, and I added a few extra months in there because while the student is catching up time marches on and they have to not just make up the old material, but catch up with the current material. If I were in this situation there is no way I would stick to only one hour/day. We would do at least 2, and if the child had a particular goal in mind such as admission to a school or program, or an exam, maybe 3 hours/day, spilt morning, afternoon, and evening. The success stories I have heard about unschoolers catching up always have the student becoming motivated by a goal and then diligently spending much more time that the average student to focus and accelerate. 1 hour/day is less than the average school kid.

I wanted to add that you should let people IRL know. In my friend's situation, the family was being quiet about the situation until something happened in a very public way and people there saw the issue. Suddenly there was a plethora of assistance from people: a pro bono lawyer, a bipolar person who had been through a similar situation, a therapist, people who offered to watch the kids, make meals, a police contact, etc. Everyone finding out what was going on was difficult for the family at first, but it turned into an amazing support group. So many people have been through the same thing. :grouphug:

My other ideas have been listed so I'll add something a bit different. Do you think he could do a small amount of walking and standing for 20 minutes? I was thinking a factory tour could be fun. They are usually not very long but can be very interesting. I don't live in your area so I googled and here's an article about local tours. Some of them have long versions and shorter 20-min ones.

My very close friend has been going through this for months and was recently hospitalized and then temporarily institutionalized when her life was no longer manageable. She had many of the same manic delusions. We tried to have her held over and over again but it was very difficult for understandable reasons re: civil rights. In the end we all had to make it clear to her that we would not give her a place to live or any money, and after a few nights of sleeping in her car she turned herself in at the hospital, where she was held on a 5150 and then that was converted to a 5250 2-week hold. There will be a court order for medication by tomorrow. Having seen this so recently, my advice is to protect the children and yourself emotionally and financially, get therapy and support, try to convince the person to go to the ER, and notify his physicians, the kids' school if they attend, and the local PD. Her family found therapy and NAMI to be very helpful. If you need more, feel free to PM me. I don't want to share more about my friend here. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I already made the pro-handwashing argument, but I wanted to add something for the other side. If you're planning to sell the house any time in the next few years, it would be harder to sell without a dishwasher.

I have a small kitchen but there's also a closet near the dining area and I've converted into a place for dishes. Even though we store them out there we were going to have to carry them there for meals anyway so it's the same amount of work, but at a different place in the cycle. Do you have room for a corner cabinet or open shelving in the dining area, or can you carve out part of a nearby closet to relieve some of the kitchen cabinet crunch?

I don't have a dishwasher. I don't mind enough to reconfigure everything and lose cabinet space, but if I did have one (like you do) I wouldn't go through the effort of taking it out. My rule is to do dishes for 10 minutes after each meal. Sometimes all the dishes all get done, sometimes the remainder stays in the sink until the next session, which might have fewer dishes because we made sandwiches or went out for a meal. Often DH does one or two of those sessions. I refuse to spend more than 30 minutes/day doing dishes unless we're having a people over. Most of the time I have 5-10 items in the sink because I can't just stick them in the washer and close the door. And don't forget you lose counter space or over the sink space for a drying rack unless you're committed to drying them and putting them away as they're done.