Woot on the good day! Katie, I'm wondering if drinking a cup of coffee in the mornings would help your son focus better. I don't remember if you were on the boards years ago; however, I remember a poster talking about her ds and how he had a coffee maker or espresso machine in his room because drinking the coffee allowed him to do his school work. If I recall correctly, he ultimately won a scholarship and attended a really good LAC. I *think* he had ADHD, too, and simply couldn't do any work without the caffeine. Anyway I have no relevant experience and think you are handling this much better than I would. Huge kudos to you! And your ds for working today!

I feel your pain. We have a Google calendar and I am the Minister of the Schedule. I am the one who enters all the information and keeps it up. My 14 yo boy is notorious for signing up for events with CAP without checking the Google calendar on his phone.I could sometimes cheerfully wring his teenage neck. Fortunately, the deputy commander of cadets works with me and double checks with me.

We have 2 calendars that I keep. Well, three, really; but, one is a google calendar and is a repeat of the main calendar. The main family calendar is a white board calendar I bought at Target. It includes my work schedule, any additional classes I teach/meetings I need to attend, my rehearsal schedule, upcoming special Masses, any meetings dh needs to attend, eldest son's CAP activities, elder girls' swim team practices/meets, and TKD classes. These are the regularly scheduled gigs; any one-off events are also written there. I bought a huge pack of multi-colored dry erase pens and each regularly scheduled activity has its own designated color. I work for 24 hours; so, I write the date I work in red. (So, for instance, I work tomorrow; therefore, 17 is in red.) Any one-off events (like doctors' appointments, etc) are written in black. This calendar is hung in our kitchen and it is easy to see at a glance what's happening when. The calendar also has 2 sections on one side where lists or goals can be written. The second calendar is in the school room and is a general schedule of my two eldest kids' online class schedule. This more than likely doesn't pertain to your needs.

Well, as Mark Twain said, "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt." ;) <referencing your dh, not you> I can't imagine what kind of diet would cause your dh's BP to suddenly go into stage 1 hypertension and remain there, unless he's eating a high salt diet or something. I think I'd set up an appointment for sooner than mid-November and continue monitoring and recording his readings. By the by, AHA's web page (www.heart.org) has a section on how to get the most accurate home BP readings. I'd link it for you; but, I'm technically challenged.

Just remember that high BP is a silent symptom. Unless one is having a hypertensive crisis (think BPs 180+/110+) a high BP won't usually cause pain or discomfort. And your dh's doctor should be concerned about these readings as they are by definition high (technically stage 1 hypertension). The latest guidelines for hypertension is 140+ systolic or 90+ diastolic. Hypertension is called the silent killer for a very good reason.

Scarlett, here's the thing. Not every ER can definitively deal with a heart attack. You need to figure out which hospital near you does stat caths. Usually, if you go to an ER at a hospital which does not perform stat caths, the ER will transfer you to a hospital which does. Although the hospital which doesn't perform stat caths can start some therapy, for most patients with either STEMIs (meaning you can "see" the heart attack on the 12-lead ECG) or NSTEMIs (meaning the 12-lead does not show the stereotypical pattern of a heart attack, but cardiac enzymes are elevated) the gold standard treatment is a heart cath, many times with one or more stents placed. Remember, time is muscle and re-profusion of the coronary arteries is what saves the cardiac muscle. I have attended patients who had low ejection fractions because of damage to the heart muscle or cardiomyopathy. They would tell you that their quality of life has markedly decreased because of the low EFs. (Basically, the ejection fraction is a measure of how much blood the heart pumps outs each beat. There's more to it than that, of course.) It might not be a bad idea to ask his doctor (assuming the doctor is a primary doc, not a cardiologist) about a referral to a cardiologist for an echo and an ECG stress test.

I was in a similar position a few years ago. My cousin was expecting her first child and I was pregnant with my sixth. Dh and I told my mom and no one else. (Actually, my mom has had this weird psychic thing where she knows I'm pregnant almost as soon as I do...and she lives over 200 miles away from me. As I recall, she called and asked me if she needed to start another baby blanket.) Only after a couple of additional months had passed did we tell others in the family. My cousin's little girl and my little boy were born almost exactly 3 weeks apart. It turns out that my cousin was more excited than anyone that we were pregnant at the same time. She certainly didn't think I overshadowed her news or anything. So, that's my long winded way of saying ask your sister. CONGRATS TO YOU BOTH!!!

You were fine and certainly not in any more danger than could ordinarily be present while pumping gas. I'm sure your dh had your and your kids' safety in mind which prompted his reaction.

I know the above is hard to deal with. My maternal grandmother - the sweetest, most genteel lady one could ever hope to meet - became physically abusive toward my grandfather because of her dementia. It was incredibly hard for my mom to handle. Please stand strong for your parents. Don't sign anything without either taking the time to fully read and understand it or (and this is the best bet) running it by an attorney. I know attorneys cost money; not having one in this most crucial time could cost you and your family so much more financially, emotionally, and physically. ((((FaithManor))))

Faith, honey, I'm so very sorry. This is so incredibly difficult. Let me echo and strongly reiterate other posters who are saying that you really should tell the social worker in the stringest possible terms that you will NOT be able to care for your parents at home - yours OR theirs. Especially your dad. Please don't underestimate how difficult and potentially dangerous it could be to you and your mom to have him at home. If you don't take care of yourself - meaning put your health first - you will collapse. That won't help anyone - you, your dh, your kids, or your parents. Push the social worker to do whatever needs to be done to get your father into residential hospice. I wish I were closer to help you.

Oh, Faith, I am so sorry to read about this. Please, please take care of yourself. Remember your oxygen mask. Residential hospice may be the best place for your father, if he qualifies. You simply can't be all things to all people and, as much as I hate to say this, your kids need you more. And, frankly, if your father's hallucinations can't be controlled and he becomes violent, the best place for him to be will be in residential hospice or skilled nursing care. You probably won't be able to care for him with the hallucinations; people with hallucinations are stronger than you can even imagine. I've seen elderly, frail women need multiple firefighters to hold them down until I could administer the needed pharmaceutical. I bid you the needed wisdom, peace, and understanding to deal with this difficult situation. (((())))

Ah, Y2K... That was some fantastic prepping for the End Of The World, I must say. Chilled champagne and/or warmed brandy, hot hors d'Oeuvres, alternating jazz and Bach on the ol' hi-fi (yes, really), and a group of friends reading Shakespeare aloud in front of a crackling fire in the fireplace. That, my friends, is how one should always welcome the Apocalypse, in my rarely humble opinion.

Slightly clearer out our way.

A.MEN.

Aimee, you mentioned that typing is more difficult than writing for your dd. Is it the physical act of typing that is difficult (i.e., using her fingers to strike the keys) or is it that most typing programs now utilize computers that is the issue? Could your dd learn to type/type her papers on a typewriter? This would remove the computer/DVD aspect that she doesn't like. The Goodwill stores and other thrift stores always seem to have typewriters for sale. Lori's correct that your dd will need to become more comfortable with computers/typing at some point. And, of course, I realize the point might not be right now. The voice-to-text software could be a really good and gentle way to introduce this. I've used Purdue's OWL professionally and it was an easy and fairly painless way to help me help several of my colleagues to learn to write their patient care reports better.

Right there with you. Eldest boy has been wearing tux pants (!) to Mass because he (a) has no belt and ( b) only 1 pair of slacks for church. Eldest daughter has no dress shoes that fit and no dress clothes for church. And I have no spare money to remedy any of the above.

And it's corollary "Never underestimate the stupidity of your fellow man". This has served me incredibly well in my professional career, sad as that is to say. And this group is seriously calling for a county sheriff to arrest a *federal judge*?!? Oh, my. This ought to serve as a national wake-up call for the need for good (or, heck, even OK) civics lessons for all citizens. Sheesh.

Conversation in my house today: Dh: Alright! Everybody up from the table, brush teeth, and get ready for school! Dc: What?!? It's Labor Day! We can't work on Labor Day! Me: Think of it as honoring with your *focused*, *diligent*, and *careful* work all those who've gone before you. Dc: <confused and slightly dismayed looks> Dh&Me: <sip tea with slightly impish, but definitely angelic looks>

You....don't..like.....Oreos!?!?!?! Is such a thing even possible????

<slaps forehead> Crud! I *knew* I forgot something. <brehon scrambles off to add practicing English to the schedule> Math wasn't specifically mentioned, I see. Can I bump that for this English remembering & reading thing?

Yes, from what I've read, this is true. I'm not sure, however, if that falls under correlation or causation. I suspect correlation, but have no evidence to hand to back up my thought.

I would point out that the US Constitution does not ever mention the phrase "separation of church and state". That was mentioned in one of Jefferson's letters. The Bill of Rights (i.e., the 1st ten amendments to the Constitution) does not grant any rights to the people. It explicitly limits the power of the federal government in various areas. So, Bluegoat, the point of the 1st Amendment was to prevent the federal government from establishing an official state religion.

My question is what will have changed at the school to ensure he is successful socially and academically? I remember your past threads about the other schools he tried. And I understand about icy receptions in playgroups, etc. What my poor dh endured as the token male at some of these groups was beyond disgusting. What else, besides PS or playgroup, is available that your ds would have fun at and be successful?

<sigh> Lots of memories...

I'm sorry you're facing this. <gently> You know what the better thing to do is. Right now you're not willing to do it. That's not meant to be a slam or anything. I know it's hard. Having been in a similar situation I told dh that he could deal with his family (in this case his brother) in whatever manner he wished; however, he was not free to subject the kids or me to the crazy. He was a grown man and my first responsibility was to our kids, not his family and not his feelings. The prospect of debt to visit toxic relatives would be the nail in the coffin for me. I wish you peace with whatever decision you come to.