I would say no. This is a safety issue. There is too much data on injuries that would permanently affect the rest of his life. I would compare it to other risky-but-fun activities that we have banned and just say no and take the damage to our relationship. Nan

Required classes vary by university and by school within the university and by degree. Some have none. Some have lots. I know nothing about Texas and its core curriculum, but I suspect that legislators there decided that if they were partially paying for the education, they wanted to have a say in what was taught as part of that education, and a class in Texas goverment is in there because the branch of the government that made the decision wants good future citizens of Texas and that requires educating and indoctrinating them. All three of my children went to technical colleges. They all had required classes in humanities and gym. There were multiple ways of fulfilling the gym requirement. The gym requirement doesn't look anything like my high school gym class. It is an attempt to encourage students to find a way to excersize that works for them and that they enjoy, so they can continue to do this for the rest of their lives. That's what we were told at all the colleges, anyway. Nan

Oh Lizzie! Heartbreaking! Holding you and your family in the light. Prayers are not in limited supply here. Askk away. Hugs

Make sure he is drinking enough. Binge eating sometimes is thirst. Make sure he knows to eat some fat with his carbs to make them "stick to his ribs". Otherwise he will be hungry again too soon. A glass of milk with what ever he is snacking on can help prevent binging, we found, too. Explain about calorie dense foods and low calorie foods. Carrot sticks are health but won't fill his calorie needs by themselves. You have to put something expensive like humus or peanutbutter on them. I had to talk about all these things with my boys.

History people, I am curious-do famous authors of historical novels ever hire assistants to help with their research? How about movie makers? TV documentary makers? Nan

If you need aid, you pretty much apply to colleges blind. The trick is to pick out some good academic fit colleges as well as some financial safeties and then NOT GET YOUR HOPES UP. We found that private colleges were just as affordable as public colleges because the privates had more aid to offer. We had savings, though, and weren't averse to loans. There is a long thread on how to pay for college when you have no money, and another where many people say how they are managing to pay for college. Both would probably be helpful. Maybe someone can link them for you. (I have to run or I would try. ) Nan

The Artist's Way

I am familiar with this problem. Our doctor insisted on a bowl of icecream before bed to get more calories into my gymnasts. At one point, my pickiest laziest eater ate a whole carton every evening until we limited it to one bowl and specified the bowl size. I lured mine into drinking milk first when hungry by buying chocolate syrup. All three now adults who prefer their milk plain so tbat apparently didn't hurt them. Mine ate a ton of home made bread. Thank goodness for the bread maker. Cheese, nuts, pbj, fruit (had one who would eat the whole box of clementines if I didn't limit him), boxed mac and cheese, rice balls, crackers (cheap ones), noodles and butter, milk shakes with an egg in them, homemade pizza or rolls, eggs on toast all were things mine were willing to eat if I handed them to them and sometimes were willing to get fot themselves. When we were down to just one, we cooked chicken and left it cut up in the fridge to grab. We didn't buy sliced meat. It vanished instantly and was too expensive. It seems odd to place limits when you are worried about calories but unless you are rich, you have to. Mine were light eaters for teens and we were comfortably off and I still had to do this. Maybe you could attach the snack to the day. Mon you are allowed to eat this small jar of peanut butter or sun butter scooping it with this package of pretzel rods Tuesday you can eat this bowl of hard boiled eggs Wed you can eat this mac and cheese I made Thurs you can this block of cheese on this roll of saltines Friday you can have this plate of chicken Saturday you can have this bag of peanuts raisins and chips Sunday you can have this home made pizza You can have two pieces of fruit after you have eaten some of tbe other snack You have to eat the smoothie I make you for breakfast and the dinner I give you Other snack options- tuna salad, french toast, rice balls, fried rice, pancakes, yoghurt, mac and cheese Nan

What about a glass of milk?

Wow! Good job! How many seconds of resisting temptation is that?

If you do decide to supplement, you might want to test your water first. Some water has it naturally.

Is it really the same? If so, you are lucky. You might want to look at the various fees to double check. A polytech education can require more expensive equipment than many university ones. Nan

Lisa, a connection of ours just lost her son and it reminded me that it is past time to talk with mine about suicide again. Not that I don't think about this pretty frequently in our high strung, far from perfect family. Thinking and doing are different things, though. Sigh. The "talk" isn't much - just a reminder that depression makes you feel like your family would be better off without you despite the very obvious fact that you will ruin everyone,s lives forever if you commit suicide, and that if you don't want your life, you should give it to an organization that will use it to help others - go nurse the sick or feed the hungry or something. Probably pretty useless advice if you actually are suicidal. It makes me feel better to say it, though. I asked my husband about your post because he lost friends in a car crash in high school. (He had been urged to get in that car, in fact.) He said that he thinks that very close, supportive friend groups can be dangerous because it is too easy for them to "form a bubble". Things are great in the bubble. Finding that bubble and getting inside it is what almost everyone is looking for in life. But things like car crashes and illness and other realities of life happen, even inside. Then it is too easy for their view of the world to get into a self-reenforcing swirl that drifts off from reality. Relying so much on each other magnifies the bad things that happen. Like most things in life, it is a matter of finding the right balance rather than doing one thing. One of ours had that bubble. We were thrilled until we saw the down side. We are still dealing with the fall out. The others had/have a more balanced life. It is still no guarantee that they will survive, but they are definitely more resillient. This is a danger with our close clan, too, but in our clan, there is definite pressure to contribute to one's community, to have individual hobbies, and to form outside friendships. To not have these things is considered dangerous and causes the rest of the clan to tut tut. It is really hard to persuade another adult to do the things that will provide their lives with that balance. All you can do is explain and talk and talk and explain. If you do it too much, they stop listening. If you do it too little, they don,t hear you. If they are depressed, they don,t have the energy to put into learning a new hobby or helping improve their community or making new friends. And yet, not doing those things contributes to their depression. As far as resillience goes, for me, Tolkein is super important. I fall back on that story when I am struggling. I hope I managed to give some of that to my children, too. My husband and I both came from a rather stiff-upper-lip, carry-on-with-your-job, grin-and-bear-it, no-complaining tradition, which I find really helpful as an adult. (Good thing. I can imagine only too well what a horrible swirling mess we,d make of reality, we are all such worriers.) I wish I had done a better job of passing that along to my children, but that would have required being less sympathetic, which was difficult. I know there is something reassuring in having one,s troubles made light of, but I wasn,t very good at that. I know that even as an older adult, having my parents tackle life calmly, cheerfully, and confidently has been important. Not that any of this is much help. I just wanted you to know I have been thinking about you and that you aren't alone. Hugs, Nan Edited to fix typos

Good ideas. Thank you, everyone. Especially the yacht club idea. There are yacht clubs in the neighboring towns. Crimson Wife - My husband is pushing for going the compassionate use route but there are a few hitches with that, one of which is that her older sister might have this as well. They haven't done the genetic testing to find out. It is one of those things that can manifest itself at any time. It would certainly be much cheaper. Nan

The progress so far has been funded by things more on the order of bake sales and an NIH grant. The problem is getting it farther. The therapy is for a specific ultra rate disease but the science developed in the process would be applicable to many other diseases. Just the funding is missing.

Thank you. This involves finishing the development of a treatment and then administering it. The plan is that this child would be part of the clinical trial. The Ecuador suggestion might be helpful if clinical trials are easier to carry out there? We will have to investigate that. Thank you. And I will check out Parents Helping Parents. "Rare" is a good description of the situation. This is an ultra rare genetic disease.

Thank you very much for typing all that out. Some of this has been done already (like figuring out the legalities of fundraising-ug-complicated) but some has not. More things to try. : ) Thank you!

How does one go about finding a celebrity? Talking to businesses in surrounding towns is a good idea. Maybe we could get someone to do an icecream flavor or something.

I am pretty sure someone is working on finding grants. A golf tournament might well be a way to widen our reach. Thank you.

A charity group has been set up and has managed to come up with 200k already via shoelaces, bake sales, a running race, and things like that. The town has really come out for this child, but we are guessing that there is only so much that a small New England town will give. We are guessing that we need to reach wider. One million is not an exact number but we know of a similar therapy was developed in the past that took about that much. My husband is working on ways to cut down the amount to something more manageable. It involves a child in my clan but the therapy would have wider applications (which is why doctors are donating a certain amount of time). It has plenty of heartstrings appeal and we have managed to some local publicity. The child is still is going to school, so she is out and about in public, which is helpful. She is getting weaker and weaker though. Every time I see her she can do less. The million part of the equation may not be exact but the year part probably is. Thank you so much for the suggestions!! Nan

Worthy cause. Save the life of a child and some others.

I need fundraising ideas. Nan

We bought a box of canning jars for glasses. Futon and cheapo sleeping bag have been the bedding of choice for mine when they were feeling minimalistic. Milk crates for shelves (makes moving easy) Cinder blocks and boards for shelves It is amazing how much furniture you can make with cardboard boxes and a few boatds Beanbag chairs Ask around for a microwave if you really want one (mine would rather have a frying pan and a toaster oven for heating food) because people often seem to have old ones lying around Be sure to buy a sufficiently big trash can Nan Eta Ditto on sufficient laundry baskets. My boys prefer to have several laundry baskets, one for dirty and a few for clean. They hate dressers. They hang only their dress clothes. Everything else lives in laundry baskets in the bottom of their closet.

They are still young enough that the faith part would not be a dealbreaker for me, because I would assume they would both continue to grow in that department. We have found this sort of thing one of the harder parts of parenting. It is no good saying to stay out of it. When it is your child and it concerns marriage, you are likely in it whether you want to be or not. We mostly do stay out of it. Possible breakups in serious relationships is the exception. We have counseled stay in until it is obvious you should get out. Serious differences in life goals, differences in family culture and manners that lead to not being able to convey respect or feel respected, inability to fulfill the other person's emotional needs, those are all reasons for letting go. Determining this takes time, patience, and communication. When the time came that they thought they needed to take the devastating step of letting go, ours wanted confirmation from us that they weren't doing something stupid. This meant that they had to do quite a bit of explaining to us. Usually, it hasn't been a surprise because they did some worrying to us earlier or because we had serious doubts to begin with (that we kept to ourselves). My husband and I never dated. We got together in high school. We feel really unqualified to help with boyfriend girlfriend nonserious relationships. We only become involved when a relationship becomes serious or long term, by which time, because we are a pretty close family, we know the girl, at least some, usually, and have a better idea of what is involved. Nan Eta that differences in faith would not be a deal breaker but differences in what they think is right and wrong would.

My mother asked me to please tell all of you who are reading W&P to pick a translation that allows you to identify with the characters. She blames her dry translation for her trouble getting through it. (She is an English major who reads for hours every day, so for her to have trouble is unusual.) Nan