Holding your daughter and her friends and the family in the light.

Think of it like as logic problem. Four things have to be true before you can step in and change things for him: You have to know he himself (not you or anyone else) is miserable with his current life. AND You have to know he himself (not you or anyone else) truly will be happier with a change. AND You have to know he himself is ready and willing to make the change now. AND You have to know that the new living situation is a sure thing. For many people, the last piece of their lives is going to be miserable unless you drug them into insensibility. If you want to go that route, then you can try to get them certified incompetent (probably mangling the legal language here), but first, I would straight out ask him if he WANTS to go that route. He might. Lots of people do. If he does, that might make it easier. If you don't want to go that route, then I think you are stuck figuring out those four things. The middle two may be hard to determine. If you don't know for sure, then it counts as a negative. If you don't know all four of those things for sure, then I think you have to resign yourself to the idea that the misery is unavoidable and that prolonging his life by moving him to a safer situation might not actually be a good idea. Lots of hugs. Lots and lots of hugs. Nan

Phew!!! Yeah!!! Nan

From last week - I love The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. I've read and reread a bunch of Trollope, too. There are a few that I can't get through because they are too depressing. I haven't read any recently and think I might find them more depressing now. I generally like cemetaries, but I approach old ones with great caution. They can be horrible. The one in the town where I went to high school had one that had the grave of a man who had been "melted to death by extreme heat" - in other words, burned as a witch. We come across old family graveyards every summer, sailing, and they are pretty depressing. If you pay attention to the dates, you realize that you are reading about some poor woman who lost her 4 children under the age of 5, lost another 4 between the ages of 5 and 15, lost a bunch as young adults, lost her husband at sea when he was in his 40's, and lived until 80 herself, continuing to lose family members. I loved Dumas's Three Musketeers! I've reread it periodically throughout my life. Time for another reread soon, I think! I've run across enough strange things in my life that I am loath to rule out anything like speaking with the dead, but I want absolutely nothing to do with the sort of seancy stuff that goes on during Halloween. Nan

My shoulder is surviving ballet classes, dealing with the woodstove, and moving the cat and dog around, which is all I needed to do at the moment. We're still buying milk and half gallons and I have to do a set of exercises which I will have to do for the rest of my life. When they operated on my shoulder they scraped out a bunch of arthritis, among other things, so I'm actually more comfortable, quite a lot more comfortable since the operation. Lady Florida - how was your husband shoulder doing?

On second thought, maybe I would bring the cat rather than the dog. The cat would be less miserable I think. Nan

My husband, my dog, and my guitar. Nan

One of my sons recently had a job interview that required him to design something and then offer three alternate designs, solve some diff eq problems, and fix some designs. They also checked his communication skills. This was on top of discussing what internships and projects he had done in school, asking him his strengths and weaknesses, and generally assessing how he presented himself. This was for an engineering job requiring a bachelors degree. Nan

Wow, Laura! Best of luck to him! Nan

I wasn't sure I had the right book. I knew there was a subplot by that author which matched. I haven't read any of her books for quite awhile. Nan

If I wrote a book, maybe I think I would entitle it "The Taste of Clothespins". Or maybe "Unclipping Clipping". Or perhaps "The Uneventful Trip". Nan

Even my 20-somethings talk to me through the bathroom door. I still can't shut it all the way because it upsets the cat and the dog. The cat is fed in the bathroom so the dog doesn't eat her food, so both are naturally very loath to have me close that door all the way. Nan

Minor subplot, right? Might it be The Shellseekers? I liked that bit, having been in the position of people telling me I would adjust to being away from home when adjusting just wasn't going to happen, so I remember it. Nan

I love D E Stevens! I had no idea she was related to RLS! I can't wait to tell the rest of my family! Nan

I could use this book. : ) I have gotten to the stage when my brain is my own again (homeschooling high school it most definitely was not) but I have come to the conclusion that my body is never going to be my own and I don't think I really want it to be. What fun all these titles are! Nan

I can't decide whether I am very anxious to read this book so as to apply it to my own life, or very anxious to avoid reading it because I get bored fairly easily. Nan

I have mostly been listening to books recently - a mix of light fiction and non-fiction, like some of the Ender's Game series (at the insistance of my youngest and our current extra child, child being a description of the relationship, not their age) and A Man on the Moon. I am still working my way through the Honor Harrington series, and still enjoying it, when I read a real book. I haven't been on the board much recently because my life has shifted and I am now spending lots of time walking either the dog or my mother, or driving back and forth. Hence all the audiobooks. I miss everyone! Nan

I am still working my way through the Honor Harrington books. My life has shifted so I don't have a lot of time to read these days. I have lots of time travelling, so I have listened to a wild mix of audiobooks. I hope everyone is doing ok. : ) Nan

Just check with someone about that greywater system. If you have to scrape, rinse, and possobly presoak before loading the dishwasher, it might not be much of a time saver. Or a yuck saver. Nan

I am so sorry. Holding you and your family in the light. Nan

I have a shelf over the stove for mugs. Saves space, is convenient, and isn't a fire hazard or a burn yourself hazard. Nan

I just know that every house I have ever lived in had a certain moldy smell around the sink that came from water sitting in the sprayer hose. I have lived with both a dishwasher and no dishwasher. I also have lived with a well and greywater "tank". I know modern dishwashers can take dishes that are just scraped. I would do a bit of research to make sure your well can support a dishwasher and that your greywater system will be ok with one. Don't just ask the guy who sells dishwashers. Might be fine or might not. I eat half my meals at my mother's, where there is a dishwasher and usually between 3 and 6 people for dinner. I find that by the time I have scraped (and rinsed if need be) the dishes, I could have washed them almost as quickly and with less fuss and yuckiness. We leave our dishes to air dry at home so no wiping. Putting away the dishes takes the same amount of time both ways. Other (minor) problems I have with dishwashers: Glass becomes etched. Can't put anything wooden in. Glass and china make a squeak rather like nails on a chalkboard. Raises the electric bill, even if you run before bed and leave the door ajar overnight to air dry. Unless your plumbing is good, you can't shower while it is running. Dirty dishes being put in splash you and mugs being taken out often splash you. Nan

Hugs. Healing takes time. You would "over react" if you had a broken arm and someone grabbed you by it, too. Nan

Emotions - Fear, Regret, Sadness Events - Long distance relationship, parenting teenagers, parenting adult children Nan

I have a funky kitchen, too. And I have lived in and still use my mother's big modern. In my experience: Water sits in the sink sprayer hose and molds and smells. A dishwasher is nice for storing dirty dishes if it isn't full of clean ones, but it stinks, is noisy, isn't the time saver it appears to be, and it is gross handling the dirty dishes to load it. If I am going to handle dirty dishes, I like doing it with hot soapy water. And I would hesitate to use one with a grey water system unless you rinsed the dishes first, in which case, you might as well wash them by hand. A small inside fridge under the counter for milk would be noisy. And add to your fuel bill. Handy, though. I have a horrible time getting my mother's one lever faucet adjusted, and if you leave it adjusted, you are running hot more than you need to. I love my two knob-one spiggot faucet. It has tabs that I can hit with my wrist when my hands are dirty. I like my one big sink better than my mother's smaller double sink. I would be happy with a cart for counter space. If I were you, I would fix the counter/sink to be the right height for me and make the backsplash high and the seam between the sink and counter easy to clean. Nan