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Cammie

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Cammie last won the day on June 30 2015

Cammie had the most liked content!

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About Cammie

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee

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  • Location
    Bangalore, India
  • Interests
    Reading, browsing, lunching...
  • Occupation
    Lawyer, Legal Researcher
  1. I would guess that the lawyer is saying they can "make a claim." That is a far cry from "they are entitled to receive those items." Your initial understanding is generally correct. When a person dies and leave everything to the spouse - it passes ALL rights to the spouse to do what they want with the property. If that person then dies leaving everything to their spouse....again it passes ALL rights to the spouse. However, someone can ALWAYS attempt to contest a will or file a claim. All it does is make the whole process more expensive and more complicated.
  2. Take it from me...in the end only the lawyers win.
  3. No need for me to retype when everything has already been said by Barb! Wait...until you can handle the possible drama. Wait....until you have moved out (so your father doesn't have a heart attack.) And I advocate waiting on marriage...I think a too early marriage is more destructive than too early sex!
  4. Major cultural disconnect here! For my Dh and his family the expectation is VERY much that we will take care of elderly parents and our kids will take care of us. It is ingrained and a regular part of conversations about the future. I have to say, I greatly appreciate that if and when the time comes for me to take care of my parents I know Dh will completely be in agreement with having them with us. I also appreciate that my kids don't look at growing up without also thinking about the responsibilities we all have towards each other. That is how we view being part of a family unit.
  5. Just wanted to warn against the overgeneralization of "Indians don't want daughters." While it is very true in certain parts of India (as demonstrated by horribly skewed birth rates in certain regions) it is by no means something that exists as a rule for the entire sub-continent. Too many different cultures, sub-groups, etc. for there to be one standard rule. My ILs for example, wanted girl grandchildren first. They treat both my children equally. They are traditional, middle-class Indians. But with a preference for girls to be born. The dowry issue is also complicated. Traditionally, girls couldn't inherit from their birth families after they married. Dowry was a way to pass on a percentage of their inheritance to them at the time of marriage. Unfortunately, it has morphed and taken on many uglier sides. (BTW, dowry is illegal in India and has been for a long time. It still is prevalent however.) In poorer families, one primary reason to prefer a son to a daughter is the sheer cost of a marriage of a daughter that is to be born entirely by her family. Families of sons act like they won the lottery when it is time for their son to be married - and they make sky high demands. It is tragic to see what lengths poor families go to when trying to get their daughter married into a "good" family.
  6. You can also check and see if there is a Democrats Abroad group near you (I assume the Republicans have the same although I haven't seen an active chapter here in Bangalore.) They can help you register no matter your party affiliation!
  7. I wonder how people think divorce attorneys should be paid? In my state you cannot take a divorce on a contingent basis (getting a percentage of the "winnings") like you can a personal injury case. A lawyer cannot also lend money or get financially entangled with a client. A hefty up front retainer makes sure that the lawyer is compensated, and makes sure the client knows the cost of the battles they want to wage. Often the party with greater income can be required to pay the other party's attorney fees at the end of the divorce. I cannot even begin to tell you how many cases I have been a part of that was the lawyer collecting fees owed from divorce clients.
  8. I haven't read all the replies but as a former divorce attorney I thought I would weigh in. Yes, for the most part a spouse who was not working outside of the home during the marriage (for whatever reason) is going to be in a worse position financially than the spouse who spent the last 10-20 years building up a career. The state I practiced in had ways to address that. First, it is a requirement that the contributions of the homemaker be considered equal to the contributions of the working party. Unless the working party could prove that the person not-working did NOTHING at home....the contribution would be seen as equal. Therefore, for the most part, all assets are equally the property of both parties. My state also still has spousal support (alimony) and the amount and duration could very depending on a wide variety of factors. We have three types - a short term alimony just until the spouse can finish some education or job training. A compensatory alimony to make up for contributions to the other parties education/income that the stay at home spouse made. And long term alimony given usually at the end of long marriages that should try to alieate the disparity in the standard of living of the parties before and after the divorce. My state also allows, in the end, for the court to make a division of assets and awards that is equitable/fair to both the parties. In my time as a divorce attorney I rarely had clients who felt they won a jackpot. I also rarely had clients who really had been mistreated by the court. Everyone is unhappy after a divorce and everyone thinks they should have gotten more and the other party should have received nothing. I don't think the family court system is perfect - FAR from it. I do think that the courts, when faced with really horrible situations and two people who can't reach an agreement on their own assets, for the most part do an ok job.
  9. Timely as tomorrow is Republic Day in India and that poem will be read out by children all over the country at events big and small!
  10. Make sure that he is required to have life insurance on his life with you as a beneficiary. This is to insure the alimony payments. Yes, after 27 years you should ask for life long alimony - especially given the disparity in incomes. Definately don't do anything until a lawyer with a strong background in divorce has reviewed the financials. Are you sure there is no child support for the daughters? Some states will extend child support "for a child attending school." You should check.
  11. Midsommer Murders is my absolute favorite. Also love Miss Fischer. Someone mentioned Jonathan Creek which is also great - he is a guy who designs magic tricks for a magician who uses his knowledge to solve mysteries - very different.
  12. From what I know about surrogacy in India...this doesn't sound at all likely. Women who are surrogates are doing it because they need the MONEY not because they want a baby. I do believe that they may be required to stay in a location to ensure proper pre-natal care, doctors appointments, etc. I guess women who agree to become surrogates are doing it because they are desparate for the money and they are willing to live like that for a few months. I'm not saying it is right or wrong - just that I understand both sides of it.
  13. Etsy has some great charm bracelent makers. I got my daugher a SuperWhoLock charm bracelet! She loved it!
  14. Model good behavoir. Tell her you love her. That's it. She will have to take control of her food, exercise, etc. in order for it to be part of her lifestyle. Pepare the fruits and veggies - keep them ready in the fridge. I don't think any good can come out of any focus on weight at this age at all.
  15. If you are going to do it...do it after Christmas this year. The discounts on fake trees are HUGE after Chistmas - and they are pricey products.
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