Ok, can you pm me because I have googled and I still don't understand what happened.

I would call Chase. (Nothing using that particular email! Whatever official phone number you have in your records.) It is probably phishing, but calling to talk to someone would put your mind at ease.

I moved when I was 16 and it was super hard, but i knew we had to do it for a job. I didn't blame my parents. For me, it was hard for many reasons: 1. My parents' marriage was very volatile. They separated the summer after my 8th grade year (dad moved out) and 9th grade year ( mom moved out after he pretty much pushed her down/out the stairs). They were newly reconciled. I would be somewhere I didn't know if this happened again. 2. All of my mom's family lived 5 -45 minutes away. All the cousins were super close. We got together not only for holidays but for Phi Slamma Jamma parties or just because. 3. I had tons of friends in school and church. I was good friends with the choir director's daughter and he offered to let me live with them for my last two years. If I had been going into my senior year, they would have said yes, but not for two years. 4. The culture of the high schools was VASTLY different and who knows, some of this may have changed as I was going into my junior year. But my class was the kind of class that teachers would always say, "You guys are such a special class." We were smart and caring. In my honors classes, we worked together. If I didn't understand an algebra problem, my friends didn't give me the answer, they showed me/taught me how to do the problem. And vice versa. The class at the new school was cutthroat. The difference between number 1 and number 10 was .004 or something ridiculous. No one helped each other out because they wanted the top spot. No one I knew drank. At my new school, I got invited to huge keg parties that happened every weekend. At the old school, I didn't really know people's fashion or status. But at the new school, people bragged about their $80-100 shoes and fancy cars. Or they complained that their dad only got them this kind of car instead of a different kind of car. That said, there were some good things about the school: 1. The teachers were absolutely amazing. Academically, this school was miles ahead of my older school. I think our class alone had 10 or more National Merit semi-finalists and there were 20 or so of us who were commended. 2. The choir was even better and they had a show choir. Now they did spring try-outs, which I missed but someone had moved so they had try-outs for the one spot, which I got. It causes some pretty hard feelings at first, especially among one girl who thought she was a shoo-in. The first year was hard, but I threw myself into the extra-curriculars. I am always a doer and made friends (not close, more acquaintance level... I am a super good at that), so in my senior year I was an officer in the choir and thespians. I was the co-manager of the show choir. We never really found a church home. It was in the housing collapse in Houston in the 80's, so it took us over a year to sell our house, so we drove the 5 hours back my junior year twice a month to mow the lawn and do other things. ( We stayed with either my mom or dad's families who lived in the area.) I never made any close friends during those two years and reunited with all my close friends from my previous school in college. I was almost closer to the teachers than the students. Their values/lifestyles were just too different from mine. I didn't have my own car. My parents' cars were beat up junkers that other relatives had pretty much run into the ground before we got them. I don't think I ever paid more than 10 bucks on a shoe clearance rack for a pair of shoes. I wanted to make good grades, but not at the expense of other people. I wanted us ALL to not only make good grades, but to understand the material. I never understood the allure of getting bombed and losing all control of your speech and actions ( that is terrifying), not thank you. That isn't fun. Anyway, just very different.

That makes no sense at all. Why in the world did he say he wouldn't do that??? They are having some outbreaks there.

Have a wonderful trip. We just got back from there. It is a beautiful place.

LOL, well one of our children asked to talk to us about this very thing on Saturday. I knew they were very serious, and they are of the age it is totally appropriate. We will see what he says. 🙂 Funny that I immediately thought about this thread. @hjffkj My husband and I planned the entire wedding ourselves, with my husband being a major/driving/organizing player. The only thing my mom did was help me find my dress. My husband and I are SO SO much alike. We went to pick out china. Both looked and counted to 3 and pointed to the one we like best and it was the exact same pattern. We have the same tastes and same values. It happens a lot with donations and stuff as well. We both say a number and it was the exact same one. Both first born saving, list makers. 🙂 Our best man, on the other hand, had a totally different experience the year before. His MIL planned the entire wedding and he had no say at all. They ended up divorced, partially because of this MIL a decade later. I am totally staying out of any wedding plans unless specifically asked. (Once they know the parameters of what we are willing to pay.)

When I went off birth control when he got a vasectomy, it also coincided with perimenopause or whatever. But yes, I wanted it ALL THE TIME. Unfortunately, this was also during a really low point of my husband and he barely wanted it. It was so frustrating at the time. So OP, I would say that mine was sort of a perfect storm: perimenopause, some relationship stuff that needed to change/I needed to change, a gp putting me on the absolute worst anti-depressant with no follow-up, so yeah. For several years it was really, really bad... But now, it is so much better. So much better. When I hit menopause, everything flattened out, including the sex drive. It is more normal rather than the....we just had sex, but I want it again NOW. I never felt satisfied for those couple of years even when we had it every day or several times a day. It was really weird.

Yes, my wedding cost 2,000. We had cake and punch at the fellowship hall. The "venue" was the church and cost us nothing. My mom sewed the bridesmaid dresses and my veil. I "splurged" on the dress at 600 bucks and that was the majority of our expenses. That was only for the wedding, not the honeymoon. I have to admit that I am having a very hard time with the whole venue thing and dinner. That just seems over the top to me, but obviously it is not if everyone is doing it. This way, they have a budget and they can decide what they want over that or whether they want to go to the justice of the peace and use it as a downpayment for a house or whatever. Honestly, to me, it works like college. Every family decides what they can pay and you sit down with your child and say, this is your budget. Of course, for the wedding, it is with both the bride and groom. Also, so many are older now when they get married that they often pay for it themselves. There isn't a right or wrong, but you must sit down with each of them and have the frank discussion so that they don't do the equivalent of get accepted to Harvard with no way to pay for it.

Yes, that is a good point. To be honest, we didn't start saving for weddings until they started college. Like your husband @MercyA we started saving for college when each child was a baby. So as we stopped making each of the 529 plan payments when each child started college, we just put the same amount into their wedding fund and will continue to do so until we reach the 10,000 number.

Oh, and Mercy, if it matters, we are aiming to save 10,000 for each of them.

Yeah, no. There is nothing wrong with a wedding fund. We have started saving a certain amount for all three of them for a wedding. (We have one girl and two boys.) We haven't discussed it, but they probably know. We still helped our older two boys "launch" and will help the girl to do so in a few months, though we didn't give them big mounds of cash. It ended up co-signing for a furniture loan for oldest. We've had to help middle one with medical bills. And with the middle one it was a slower release of things like paying for his auto insurance and health insurance. To think that just because we have a wedding fund, it would make them get married quicker is laughable. I don't think that would enter their minds at all. As I said, they probably guess something like that is there, but we haven't talked about it. My guess is middle one will approach us when he asks his girlfriend to marry him...or maybe not. We might have to offer to pay. I half expected to help him pay for a ring like my FIL did for my husband, but apparently he jokingly texted his brother about what should he do with his tax refund....pay for a game station or save for a ring. LOL. I mean, I guess if you are pushing stuff in their face like when you get married, you have xyz.... Maybe. But our wedding funds will not influence them. Whenever they decide to buy a house, if they do so, we might help them with the downpayment.

There is no way to get to the actual office. It gives you to the scheduling department which says the exact same thing as what the website looks at. Our friend hates it. There have been many times when he said he did have a spot when the scheduling said he did not. I guess I could drive up to the clinic. Also, though, I struggle because really, I would give it a few more days. I haven't run fever. Our friend will give antibiotics at the least opportunity and I don't want to take them if I don't need them. It is probably a cold that will just run its course. It is the fact that I leave tomorrow and don't come back until the 27th that is giving me pause. If it gets worse, it will be harder in Indiana for me to get treatment, i would think. I don't feel awful.

I will say that I am dreading when our primary care retires. He turns 65 this year. The other friend in the practice is our age and will be retiring soon as well. All the others I knew started when my husband started and have all retired as well. There are just 2 others in the practice... Not enough. Starting over. Heck, not sure any of them are taking new patients either. I know our friends are not because they are already too busy as it is.

So I probably caught something when I went in to do my biopsy last Wednesday. Started showing symptoms on Friday afternoon. Sore throat, headache, a little bit of congestion. Didn't go anywhere. Monday morning I went to Walgreens to get a flue, Covid test. I only have congestion by then. Sore throat and headache are gone. Both are negative. I am just tired. Still congested and now coughing. Have been taking Niquil cold and flu nighttime and daytime off and on. So I am leaving tomorrow to start heading to Indiana. I am blowing out some yellow. So might be turning into a sinus infection. First thing this morning I look and the soonest I can get any kind of appointment either with my own primary care or anyone in the practice, in person or virtual is Monday. Heck. I could be septic or completely well by then. Our primary care doc is a friend of ours, in our Sunday School class, will probably play the doctor card and have my husband text him. (Husband is still in Africa.) But most people do not have that option. It is absolutely ridiculous that a "regular" person can no longer get a primary care appointment within a reasonable amount of time. No wonder the urgent care is so popular...

We only go on big trips for our anniversary on the years that end with 5; however, our 30th fell smack dab in the midst of Covid. We actually spent our anniversary moving our son back into the dorm at seminary, ate some poor boys on the floor of his dorm apartment while watching the Tom Hanks film Greyhound together. LOL. So it varies! However, for our 25th, we went to Niagara Falls and then over to Niagara on the Lake. We were gone for about a week. The kids were supposed to spend the week at the grandparents, but my FIL went to the hospital, so they just stayed home. They were 20, 18, and 13 at the time, so it worked out ok. Other things I have done, is met him for dinner after work and slipped him a hotel key as I left. 🙂

Well, it was my PSYCHIATRISTS' idea to do the genetic testing. And it was incredibly helpful. It showed the anti-depressant my gp put me on was the absolute worst one that he could have used for my genes. It also showed what has proved to be true a gene that causes problems with cholesterol and liver function.

I don't know how the OP meant it, but poor record to me meant none of her relationships last all that long. That's it. Not a moral judgment exactly. I suppose for me, a good record of relationships would mean that she had at least a few relationships that lasted for awhile with healthy interactions and then left respecting each other and speaking well of each other. I have do clue about the football player. I don't follow him. Hers are just more public because she writes songs about her former boyfriends. No, she isn't a flighty whore. But if she does keep picking guys that are jerks, that don't treat her well, then she has a track record of poor record of relationships. If I were her, I would examine why I pick men like this. And again, not picking on her because she is a woman. I would say the same to a man who picks crappy girlfriends. She is just so public that even someone who barely keeps up with celebrities (Me) knows about her relationships.

Praying you continue to get stronger.

Yep, I had that conversation with my oldest son last night as we watched. If he acts this way in public, when he knows cameras are on him, what happens when he gets that angry in private??? And his "speech" after the win when he was holding the trophy.... weird. I don't understand what she sees in him. I don't know a lot about Taylor Swift, don't really follow her. But the impression I get is that she is a pretty strong woman, (standing up for herself and her music with the record industry). I don't see this relationship lasting very long. I think she writes about her former boyfriends ( don't listen to her music, just what I have heard), so I bet she will have a lot of material. But yes, his behavior was so wrong on so many levels. My son thought, "Yeah, professional football is just different. You act differently there." No. No. No. That shows his true colors.

All. The. Time. So annoying. Ours WAS a local bank, and I loved it then. The teller knew me very well. She worked there for 30 years. She called us once when she got a shady check we didn't think we wrote. She retired. The bank was bought out. It was ok. Then it was bought by PNC. I can't stand it. They always want to go over our accounts. I hate it. It is only open from like 10-4 or something ridiculous now. But I guess hardly anyone ever goes in person anymore. We are probably one of the few who still deposit checks in the branch and cash checks inside as well.

So what screening did you have to do?

Yes, me, too. I was especially worried when the tech mentioned there was a new spot next to the one they were originally taking the biopsy from.

Doctor just called and confirmed it isn't cancer. But he doesn't understand the results either as I have had no pain or anything so the long term infection doesn't make sense. He is going to run it by some breast docs and other docs next week.

So I haven't heard from the doctor, but the pathology report was uploaded to my portal. Granulomatous mastitis with associated calcifications (see comment). COMMENT: The findings are nonspecific, though may be seen with idiopathic granulomatous mastitis, infectious etiologies (including cystic neutrophilic granulomatous mastitis), or a florid response to ruptured duct. Correlation with clinical impression is recommended. I mean mastitis is inflammation of the breast and I had that with at least one of my children when I was breastfeeding. But I am post-menopausal. My breast is sore now because of the biopsy, but it wasn't before. Any thoughts or experiences? I have googled but it seems pretty rare and seen in lactating women and/or minorities, which I don't fit.

Oh no! Praying you recover quickly and for all of your family.