Jump to content

Menu

TexasProud

Members
  • Posts

    3,735
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by TexasProud

  1. Ok, I have read all the books and understand about starting small and habit stacking, but I cannot figure out how to make that work for me. I get them established, but then my routine changes and it is like trying to walk uphill again. Let's take two habits I would like to keep up: drinking more water (56 -64 ounces) and walking 3 miles at least 5 days a week. For water, I have a glass with me at all times. I drink 8 ounces before my first cup of coffee. But man, it is a chore to try and drink that much. I will try to drink 24 ounces every day this week and work my way up. What messes me up and causes me to start over? Mission trips. In Kenya, bathrooms are not readily available, so I made sure I quit eating and drinking by 7am (To start at 8:30) Then, I drank at lunch, but made sure I quit drinking by 1 to go back at 2. On hospice visitation days I barely drank at all because they never stopped at a bathroom unless I asked and it was just a hole in the ground. I would just barely sip water occasionally. I struggle to drink on driving days like in a couple of weeks, I will be driving by myself to Indiana and if I drink the 64 ounces, I would have to stop every 30 minutes to go to the bathroom. I can't do that. Anyway, I am constantly re-establishing this habit and it is always hard. Walking. If my husband is in town with me, then I do ok for this. Although if the weather is bad consistently, it won't happen. My husband does pushups and situps every day and rides a stationary bike the days we don't walk. I do nothing on the days we don't walk unless I am able to walk with a friend. But then like now, what about these 2 1/2 weeks he isn't here. How do I make myself walk? Or in Kenya, we walked when the weather allowed and he was with me. I couldn't walk alone there obviously. I have these walking videos I could do, but how do I make myself do them? Any suggestions?
  2. Honestly, this was the big thing that all three of my children have against our homeschooling. They feel like they would have been better prepared socially for the world if they had gone to public school. They do not argue that they were way better prepared academically, way better than they would have been in public school. But they got very, very, very tired of being outcasts/outliers in all of our places: not conservative enough for homeschool group, too conservative for our church (sort of...hard to explain. No one homeschooled in our church. Nearly everyone who homeschooled went to one church in our small town, and it was too conservative for me. The homeschool group where we did co-ops and such were in a town 30 minutes away and people went to a couple of different churchs, again, more conservative than I was. I homeschooled for academic reasons, not religious reasons. Anyway, they just didn't fit with anyone and never really made close friends. Luckily, two out of my three did make some close friends in college. One of mine only has one friend that he occasionally goes to the movie with. He works remotely since Covid (which I HATE for him) and sees no one in person except at the grocery store or when he comes to stay with us sometimes.
  3. She said A LOT of complimentary things about my daughter. So this is what I texted back to her: Thank you, and I did enjoy spending time with xxx over the holidays. Looking forward to seeing them both in xxxx (the show that is in a few weeks). That is all I texted. She texted back that she was glad I was going to come and that was the end of our conversation.
  4. She did send me a series of long texts about how devastated she and her husband are about all of this. They considered her part of the family. A chance they get back together... maybe. Honestly, I am very ok with the breakup. The young man was very sweet and nice and treated my daughter well. But he is 19. She is 22. If they were 25 and 28, there wouldn't be that much difference in maturity, but now? He has another 3 years before he graduates. She graduates in a few months (which I believe was the impetus for this). I think he needs to live a little more life and figure out who he is. He needs to concentrate on his studies which are pretty heavy right now. If they were to get back together when he is ready to graduate, great. As I said, he is nice. The only thing I have "against" him is how young he is. I am not sure I was ever that young. My husband said for sure, he wasn't and that is true. My husband has always been very focused and organized and "old." My dad told me once I was born old. I know most young men take a while to mature. I know for sure, one of ours has. He is a nice young man. I just feel bad for my daughter as she is so upset, yet at the small school and music department, she has to interact with him daily in a variety of places (the musical they are doing, chorale, same friend group, etc.) I think she would like to just cut him off and not see him anymore, but that isn't possible. And he really wants to remain friends and interact with her.
  5. LOL... I don't talk badly about people period. It is a family joke that mom likes EVERYONE and can see behind their actions to the good. (Ok, with the exception of a political figure who I scream and rant and rave about, but real people I know in my life, no.) So no chance of that. Plus, here in my small town, if you were to talk badly about someone you are probably talking to a relative of theirs somehow. So it is very ingrained in me not to speak ill of anyone. 🙂
  6. No, we don't have a friendship LOL. I have posted about her before with the painting my daughter's fingernails and her calling me to chat for over an hour when they started dating... I learned more about her in that hour than I know about most of my real friends... Ok. Thank you for confirming I am correct.
  7. Hey, just checking to make sure I am not out of line. My daughter and her boyfriend broke up. It is on his end. She is sad, but ok. Boyfriend's mom called to talk to her and filled her in on all sorts of backstory on her son, his fault not hers. She is going to call me to talk... Ok, no. Just no. I mean my daughter has called me and I have listened. But it is not my job to be in the middle of this. If the boyfriend's mom calls, I will politely text back that I can't talk and that I was sorry to hear they broke up. She has a sweet son, and we are glad we got a chance to get to know him over the holidays. (Both my daughter and his mom are feeling guilty that we flew him out here now that they have broken up. Why?? It was fun. It was her birthday present. I am not sorry.) Other than that. I won't respond. Right?
  8. I know I am not the person you asked. But we bought our first house in Edmond Oklahoma while he was in residency. We bought it in 1994 for 95,000 or something (It was a brand new home. 3 bedroom 1600 square feet) and sold it for 102,000 or so in 1996 in 3 days. I just looked it up on Zillow and it is now worth 240,000.
  9. Well, I am, but not because of the eclipse. We would have been in the path of totality at home. Our daughter has both her senior showcase and her senior recital that weekend before. In fact, I was going to leave the campsite near her university on that Monday, but wasn't allowed. (We arrived on Thursday and planned to leave Monday. We had to stay through Tuesday. It is also in the path of totality, so yeah, will watch it and enjoy time with our daughter probably.
  10. Yes, I was thinking exactly the same thing. I have thought this often in many threads. I would be an anathema to many of you in the housecleaning department. Which makes me feel like a really bad person sometimes. But on the other hand, I have other priorities and I personally don't care and wouldn't even think about it unless I read these kind of threads.
  11. Not me, but others I know: My friend's son and his wife bought a house 3 years ago. They were 20 and 19. He works and she did before she had a baby. It is a very small starter home. He has a manufacturing job. They had no help from family buying the home. Another friend's son bought a house about the same time across the street from the other couple. It was definitely a fixer upper, but he is very hands on and likes fixing things and is pretty good at it. He is a firefighter. He was also 20. (The boys graduated together and were friends.) He has since married. His parents did not help him financially at all with the house. However, the dad might have helped the son fix it up some.
  12. I was 27 and my husband was 29 when we bought our own house. We had no help from family for that. We had been married for a little over 4 years. No children. We had been saving my salary for 3 years and living off of his. (We lived off my salary alone the first year. He was a student.) So that is how we had a downpayment. The year was 1994.
  13. No the document may not make a difference exactly, but it will make their intention clear when they were thinking clearly. To be honest, it doesn't have to be written. My mom told me that when the time came, not matter what she said, I could do what was best: move her to a nursing home, take away keys, etc. She told me this when she was having to put my grandmother in a facility because she had dementia. They were working and couldn't look after her. She was getting paranoid, leaving the stove on, etc. Her mom was so upset at her and very almost hateful at the end (She wasn't by nature mean.) Mom told me that the real her would know that I loved her. She wanted me to do what was best for me and my family. So when the time came and mom had her cancer, I remembered her conversation to me. I got caregivers when she didn't want them. For the most part she agreed with me. There was one or two times where she got paranoid when she was really out of it and told me I was out to get her, but that was rare thankfully. I had no guilt. So would the document stand up in court? No. But it does give the loved one a peace of mind that they are doing what their rational loved one would have wanted. All bets are off with my husband. They will take him kicking and screaming. It will be awful.
  14. The same principal might apply, but I don't use it on my phone. Nor do I have social media apps. I am on my computer when I post on here.
  15. Glad you were seen quickly! Glad also it wasn't anything serious!
  16. I will say this. I have gotten better like I did put JAWM on my thread about my mammogram. And I did want advice about how not to see threads. Someone gave me an answer to use: just click on your manage followed content, and I thanked them. I have used it and it is working well. That was a great idea. But then it morphed as threads often do. When it started down that road, I should have changed the title to JAWM because at that point I was just venting. I apologize. I will try to be better.
  17. No, I appreciate it. I do. I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. I am NOT laughing at you. I am not. Just trying to figure out the difference between use emotional hygiene and be careful what you say on here and make sure you are honest. 🙂 I do appreciate what you have had to say. You have had some great advice throughout the thread, but you already know that. Lots of people have told you so. You are a rock star.
  18. Honestly, I feel like I have come a long way on this to be honest. I regularly use the word AND as in I can be grieving AND celebrate. I do not punish myself for feeling bad. It is ok for me not to feel happy all the time. Am I perfect at it, no. But yes, I am human. There is one of me. Yes, I get that. Am I perfect at it, no. But I have come a long way. As I mentioned we had a long discussion yesterday about how I don't feel like I belong anywhere. But talking to him the other night when he is exhausted, his migraines are flaring, and I am so tired I am not thinking straight just doesn't seem reasonable or healthy. So yes, I have a ways to go, but I have made strides. If I WANTED to then yes. Right now, it is really feeling like I should from y'all and my therapists and my spiritual director said I need to be very careful about should. Heck, notice writing isn't one of the things I listed as things I am good at? But I am doing it anyway, for a variety of reasons. Yes, I get to play with it! Sometimes I wrestle with it! Although I can sing, I am not good at the piano. I still play it sometimes for the beauty of it. I miss notes, but it doesn't matter. Art ( visual art) doesn't bring me the same kind of peace. Yes, I could certainly do more work at evicting that old art teacher. Definitely. I certainly made sure as an elementary music teacher that I encouraged EVERY child in music no matter how "talented" they were. Music is so much more than just the notes, and I realize that art could absolutely be the same way. To me, the fact that when I get so overtired I cannot think straight. That in my head things will ALWAYS be this way...NEVER get better...there is NOTHING to be done is the epitome of being human. I wish I didn't get that way, but I am human and what I needed most, honestly was probably just a good night's sleep when I can remember life really is good. Because the truth is as humans we don't think straight all the time. I wish I could make myself, but I cannot. I'm human.
  19. What do you think I am maintaining? And isn't it normal to feel that way sometimes? Many, many days I feel completely fine. Lack of sleep definitely doesn't help my thought processes. I know that. Not much I can do, though.
  20. Can I just say that this board makes me laugh sometimes. I find it SO SO ironic that this board tells me that I have a right to be honest. That I have a right to say and think what I want. So many of the posts tell me to be honest. And yet, when I am honest on the board and say what I am thinking people get incredibly frustrated with me. As my husband would. Because he would do exactly what you would do and give me suggestions. If I said what I did on this board, he would be frustrated. So yeah, I say, "Thanks, that is a good idea." He did know I was tired. But sometimes I just want to be in a bad mood. I want to say what I am thinking. I want to say, No, I don't want to do that. My husband is calm, rational and has very, very good advice just as all of you do on this board. I did say I was tired on that night. I mean, he could tell that. He gave me a melatonin, which did help that nigh. Not last night. I was up after 3 1/2 hours of sleep. Oh well.
  21. Because I need to complain and vent and throw a fit which I cannot do in real life. 🙂 My husband had no clue anything was wrong last night.
  22. Thought I would come back and answer this. I hemmed my daughter's formal for the wedding where she was a bridesmaid. It looked hideous, wasn't even, etc. But it was black and floor length and as my daughter said, No one should be looking way down there, they should be looking at the bride or my face. But she ordered the formal online and had it sent here, so she didn't try it on until a week before the wedding. It was about 4 inches too long. Otherwise it fit perfectly. So, I had to do it. I sew on buttons and such as well. As far as crochet and art projects, they are often done at women's events. In seminary in one of my classes, we learned about an art form and the artist explained how they worshipped God while they created it, and how the art itself was worshipful. Then we had to try the art. 🙂 On a mission trip I joined a crochet class. I laughed a lot, but found it extremely frustrating.
  23. Just finished chatting with a good friend of mine and that was very relaxing. She is home from school as our area is out AGAIN today because of the weather. (And yes, northern friends, you can laugh at us!)
×
×
  • Create New...