Yes, just worry about getting his id. For some reason, I didn't think you HAD to have the passport number when you bought the ticket. You had to have it to check into the flight, though. But you would probably know that better than me. You might call the airlines and ask. I just googled and apparently, you can book most airlines without having one, but you cannot check in without it. (And btw, make sure that yours are valid for 6 months after the return date. They won't let you fly if it isn't.)

I wanted to just take this off in a tangent. @Murphy101 said, "I personally dislike the phrase “let them figure it out” bc frankly I see a world more full of people struggling than actually figuring anything out. Myself included. People do not just miraculously know about things and how things work. And, again, communication is hard, and no one likes to feel stupid so they don’t ask the questions needed to “figure it out.”" It just made me think, good grief, I figure pretty much everything out ALL THE TIME. I research and figure it out. Didn't know how to do laundry or cook when I went to college. I figured it out, though some of my meals tasted terrible and I did turn my underwear pink once. But I figured it out. Computers didn't exist in high school. The college built their first computer lab students could use and I took my first class about how to type on a computer. (The idea that you could cut and paste and correct errors and not have to type the whole 8 page paper all over from scratch was absolutely revolutionary.) Actually, I didn't learn to type until after I graduated. I checked out some books on typing from the library and spent one summer in between teaching semesters to learn. I taught myself how to build a website, produce a podcast, and sell a devotional online. I've taught myself how to be a better parent. If you don't know how to do something, you google. You watch Youtube. You ask someone to show you. Maybe I didn't care about looking stupid. I don't know. But especially the way technology keeps changing at such a fast rate, you learn something new just about every single day. It does get tiring. Oh, about looking stupid. I guess it was 2006 and my dad fell and was in the hospital and my cousins told me to text them about how he was doing. I had never received a text on my phone. Yeah.. They laughed at me and I looked stupid. But oh well. A couple of years later I started texting and now I cannot imagine life without it. But yeah... I figure it out. My parents expected me to. I did teach my children to do laundry and cook. Though the cooking consisted of me sitting and doing something at the breakfast room table while they read a recipe and "figured it out" or asked me if they didn't get something. I never did school projects for them. I showed them how to find used books for their dual credit classes the first semester. After that and throughout college, they bought the books without my help at all. I did check their very first college schedule, but after that they took care of it all on their own. Half the time i didn't know what they were taking to be honest. They were always on the dean's list, so it was fine. They "figured it out." I don't know. I guess I feel like to be successful in life, you need to "figure it out."

I am sorry.. Praying.

Also, in 1994 I was head sponsor for the class of 1995 and the junior class planned the junior/senior prom. For that I wore a form-fitting dress, sort of Asian style. I will just say that was one of the most stressful things ever. My wedding was easy. The only people I had to please were my husband and me. Trying to get young people to plan a prom: Picking out venue, decorations, music, etc. had me losing sleep for weeks. Thankfully, my husband and I didn't have children yet. I have a picture of that one as well. Maybe I can figure out how to blur faces...

Well, yeah mine was full-on Scarlett O'Hara. I still have it and adore it. My prom was 1985 and I wore it to a formal again in college. It is currently in my cedar chest. it is pink, full hoop skirt with lace off the shoulder. I have a pic, but don't want to show my face on here. My mother made it. My daughter loved it, but she could never fit in it. I had absolutely no idea how tiny my waist was at the time. Both that and my wedding dress.... oh my goodness. I think I was a size 0 then. LOL. What is funny is how the styles changed between my graduation and my sister. EVERYONE wore those big puffy dresses for mine. For my sisters, it suddenly became sparkly and short and tight fitting. Just 4 years.

Oh, I know. We do talk a lot and we are both so much better at it than when we started this journey 35 years ago... For example, when he got back from Kenya and we were in Indiana, I was driving because he was severely jet lagged. He immediately questioned why I chose to go this route to Walmart. Old me would have inwardly collapsed into a puddle and berated myself for not going the faster, "right" way. Instead, I just smiled and said GPS told me to go that way. It isn't a moral failing to do that. He drives most of the time, and it is more often me asking why we are going such and such a way, so no need to even mention it to him, especially as he was so tired. Yeah, I spend my whole time reading, studying scripture.... It is "my job."

I am not sure I completely understand your answer. Have to have their way.... Not sure exactly what you mean by that. But let me just give you examples that have happened over the years: I load the car with our stuff. Hubby comes out and needs to fit in more stuff and to be honest, I am spacially challenged, so he takes everything out and completely repacks it. And yes, it is much more organized, looks better, and fits more stuff. He never tells me my way is bad, but I know it is. My solution was to just pile things by the back door and let him pack the car. I am grateful, even when it makes me feel like I am not really good at anything. I am not sure I understand number 3 at all other than maybe you mean this? I have my study ( that used to be my middle son's room). It is mine. It is pretty much always a disorganized mess. He leaves it alone it is mine. But still, it doesn't stop me from feeling less than, even though he says he feels less than compared to me...

Any updates?

I would not describe the picture thing as a surprise. And yeah, I am married to you. It is why I don't do something he wants like that without asking him, because it will be redone. Just so you know, when you are on the receiving end of that kind of control, it is demoralizing.... ( And yes, even when you don't say anything. We can see it in your eyes.) You know you can never quite please them even though they love you. He repacks the car, rehangs pictures, etc. I just don't try to help him anymore or just wait for him to tell me how he wants it. Yeah, I adore surprises. I would love a surprise party. I have thrown my husband several: 30th birthday, retirement/refocus. He loved them. I have been part of throwing several for friends. I have never gotten one and I would love it. I would love to be whisked away somewhere I didn't have to plan. Yes, I adore them. Edited to add We know it looks weird or not exactly right, but we wanted to help. I don't know what the answer is because it is certainly valid for you to want it to look a certain way. I get that. But we know it will never quite be good enough because our eye, our packing ability our whatever isn't quite up to your/his standards... and again, my husband never says anything anymore because he knows it hurts me, but I know he is thinking it. I'm sure your husband does as well. Not sure what the answer is...

I would change my number and do the thing where all she sees is unlisted when you call. I cannot imagine being in this situation... I am so sorry. But yeah, I wouldn't be tolerant of that much control.

I am just going to share my own experience, which honestly is all I can do. I love the air bnb we use when we visit our daughter in Indiana. This street is very historic with very large, very old homes. The woman bought this property back in 2017. The house was the doctor's house built in the mid 1850's. She lives in part of it and then rents out the other part of it. She also made the large carriage house behind it into an air bnb. We stayed in that one this time. I cannot address how other people or corporations are doing it. But for her, it feels like to me that she helped to restore an old house. She can pay for the upkeep of it with the rent I am guessing. For me, I was able to stay for 10 days. I could cook. I could work. This small town has 4 hotels, 2 are pretty good, 2 not so much. But tiny. The air bnb was cheaper as well. The thought of spending 10 days in one room rather than in a place where I had a kitchen, a living room, 2 beds and 2 baths. ( Our boys stayed with us once) that was cheaper than the local hotel.... And it isn't like this is depriving anyone of living there. In this particular instance, I think it is a win win.

Ok, can you pm me because I have googled and I still don't understand what happened.

I would call Chase. (Nothing using that particular email! Whatever official phone number you have in your records.) It is probably phishing, but calling to talk to someone would put your mind at ease.

I moved when I was 16 and it was super hard, but i knew we had to do it for a job. I didn't blame my parents. For me, it was hard for many reasons: 1. My parents' marriage was very volatile. They separated the summer after my 8th grade year (dad moved out) and 9th grade year ( mom moved out after he pretty much pushed her down/out the stairs). They were newly reconciled. I would be somewhere I didn't know if this happened again. 2. All of my mom's family lived 5 -45 minutes away. All the cousins were super close. We got together not only for holidays but for Phi Slamma Jamma parties or just because. 3. I had tons of friends in school and church. I was good friends with the choir director's daughter and he offered to let me live with them for my last two years. If I had been going into my senior year, they would have said yes, but not for two years. 4. The culture of the high schools was VASTLY different and who knows, some of this may have changed as I was going into my junior year. But my class was the kind of class that teachers would always say, "You guys are such a special class." We were smart and caring. In my honors classes, we worked together. If I didn't understand an algebra problem, my friends didn't give me the answer, they showed me/taught me how to do the problem. And vice versa. The class at the new school was cutthroat. The difference between number 1 and number 10 was .004 or something ridiculous. No one helped each other out because they wanted the top spot. No one I knew drank. At my new school, I got invited to huge keg parties that happened every weekend. At the old school, I didn't really know people's fashion or status. But at the new school, people bragged about their $80-100 shoes and fancy cars. Or they complained that their dad only got them this kind of car instead of a different kind of car. That said, there were some good things about the school: 1. The teachers were absolutely amazing. Academically, this school was miles ahead of my older school. I think our class alone had 10 or more National Merit semi-finalists and there were 20 or so of us who were commended. 2. The choir was even better and they had a show choir. Now they did spring try-outs, which I missed but someone had moved so they had try-outs for the one spot, which I got. It causes some pretty hard feelings at first, especially among one girl who thought she was a shoo-in. The first year was hard, but I threw myself into the extra-curriculars. I am always a doer and made friends (not close, more acquaintance level... I am a super good at that), so in my senior year I was an officer in the choir and thespians. I was the co-manager of the show choir. We never really found a church home. It was in the housing collapse in Houston in the 80's, so it took us over a year to sell our house, so we drove the 5 hours back my junior year twice a month to mow the lawn and do other things. ( We stayed with either my mom or dad's families who lived in the area.) I never made any close friends during those two years and reunited with all my close friends from my previous school in college. I was almost closer to the teachers than the students. Their values/lifestyles were just too different from mine. I didn't have my own car. My parents' cars were beat up junkers that other relatives had pretty much run into the ground before we got them. I don't think I ever paid more than 10 bucks on a shoe clearance rack for a pair of shoes. I wanted to make good grades, but not at the expense of other people. I wanted us ALL to not only make good grades, but to understand the material. I never understood the allure of getting bombed and losing all control of your speech and actions ( that is terrifying), not thank you. That isn't fun. Anyway, just very different.

That makes no sense at all. Why in the world did he say he wouldn't do that??? They are having some outbreaks there.

Have a wonderful trip. We just got back from there. It is a beautiful place.

LOL, well one of our children asked to talk to us about this very thing on Saturday. I knew they were very serious, and they are of the age it is totally appropriate. We will see what he says. 🙂 Funny that I immediately thought about this thread. @hjffkj My husband and I planned the entire wedding ourselves, with my husband being a major/driving/organizing player. The only thing my mom did was help me find my dress. My husband and I are SO SO much alike. We went to pick out china. Both looked and counted to 3 and pointed to the one we like best and it was the exact same pattern. We have the same tastes and same values. It happens a lot with donations and stuff as well. We both say a number and it was the exact same one. Both first born saving, list makers. 🙂 Our best man, on the other hand, had a totally different experience the year before. His MIL planned the entire wedding and he had no say at all. They ended up divorced, partially because of this MIL a decade later. I am totally staying out of any wedding plans unless specifically asked. (Once they know the parameters of what we are willing to pay.)

When I went off birth control when he got a vasectomy, it also coincided with perimenopause or whatever. But yes, I wanted it ALL THE TIME. Unfortunately, this was also during a really low point of my husband and he barely wanted it. It was so frustrating at the time. So OP, I would say that mine was sort of a perfect storm: perimenopause, some relationship stuff that needed to change/I needed to change, a gp putting me on the absolute worst anti-depressant with no follow-up, so yeah. For several years it was really, really bad... But now, it is so much better. So much better. When I hit menopause, everything flattened out, including the sex drive. It is more normal rather than the....we just had sex, but I want it again NOW. I never felt satisfied for those couple of years even when we had it every day or several times a day. It was really weird.

Yes, my wedding cost 2,000. We had cake and punch at the fellowship hall. The "venue" was the church and cost us nothing. My mom sewed the bridesmaid dresses and my veil. I "splurged" on the dress at 600 bucks and that was the majority of our expenses. That was only for the wedding, not the honeymoon. I have to admit that I am having a very hard time with the whole venue thing and dinner. That just seems over the top to me, but obviously it is not if everyone is doing it. This way, they have a budget and they can decide what they want over that or whether they want to go to the justice of the peace and use it as a downpayment for a house or whatever. Honestly, to me, it works like college. Every family decides what they can pay and you sit down with your child and say, this is your budget. Of course, for the wedding, it is with both the bride and groom. Also, so many are older now when they get married that they often pay for it themselves. There isn't a right or wrong, but you must sit down with each of them and have the frank discussion so that they don't do the equivalent of get accepted to Harvard with no way to pay for it.

Yes, that is a good point. To be honest, we didn't start saving for weddings until they started college. Like your husband @MercyA we started saving for college when each child was a baby. So as we stopped making each of the 529 plan payments when each child started college, we just put the same amount into their wedding fund and will continue to do so until we reach the 10,000 number.

Oh, and Mercy, if it matters, we are aiming to save 10,000 for each of them.

Yeah, no. There is nothing wrong with a wedding fund. We have started saving a certain amount for all three of them for a wedding. (We have one girl and two boys.) We haven't discussed it, but they probably know. We still helped our older two boys "launch" and will help the girl to do so in a few months, though we didn't give them big mounds of cash. It ended up co-signing for a furniture loan for oldest. We've had to help middle one with medical bills. And with the middle one it was a slower release of things like paying for his auto insurance and health insurance. To think that just because we have a wedding fund, it would make them get married quicker is laughable. I don't think that would enter their minds at all. As I said, they probably guess something like that is there, but we haven't talked about it. My guess is middle one will approach us when he asks his girlfriend to marry him...or maybe not. We might have to offer to pay. I half expected to help him pay for a ring like my FIL did for my husband, but apparently he jokingly texted his brother about what should he do with his tax refund....pay for a game station or save for a ring. LOL. I mean, I guess if you are pushing stuff in their face like when you get married, you have xyz.... Maybe. But our wedding funds will not influence them. Whenever they decide to buy a house, if they do so, we might help them with the downpayment.

There is no way to get to the actual office. It gives you to the scheduling department which says the exact same thing as what the website looks at. Our friend hates it. There have been many times when he said he did have a spot when the scheduling said he did not. I guess I could drive up to the clinic. Also, though, I struggle because really, I would give it a few more days. I haven't run fever. Our friend will give antibiotics at the least opportunity and I don't want to take them if I don't need them. It is probably a cold that will just run its course. It is the fact that I leave tomorrow and don't come back until the 27th that is giving me pause. If it gets worse, it will be harder in Indiana for me to get treatment, i would think. I don't feel awful.

I will say that I am dreading when our primary care retires. He turns 65 this year. The other friend in the practice is our age and will be retiring soon as well. All the others I knew started when my husband started and have all retired as well. There are just 2 others in the practice... Not enough. Starting over. Heck, not sure any of them are taking new patients either. I know our friends are not because they are already too busy as it is.

So I probably caught something when I went in to do my biopsy last Wednesday. Started showing symptoms on Friday afternoon. Sore throat, headache, a little bit of congestion. Didn't go anywhere. Monday morning I went to Walgreens to get a flue, Covid test. I only have congestion by then. Sore throat and headache are gone. Both are negative. I am just tired. Still congested and now coughing. Have been taking Niquil cold and flu nighttime and daytime off and on. So I am leaving tomorrow to start heading to Indiana. I am blowing out some yellow. So might be turning into a sinus infection. First thing this morning I look and the soonest I can get any kind of appointment either with my own primary care or anyone in the practice, in person or virtual is Monday. Heck. I could be septic or completely well by then. Our primary care doc is a friend of ours, in our Sunday School class, will probably play the doctor card and have my husband text him. (Husband is still in Africa.) But most people do not have that option. It is absolutely ridiculous that a "regular" person can no longer get a primary care appointment within a reasonable amount of time. No wonder the urgent care is so popular...