I think Scarlett is feeling floored that this happened at all. It sounds like it's new for her son to act this way? (Is it?). So she's feeling like the things that her family valued before aren't valued now. If this is a new thing with ds, then it's probably related to dss coming to live there. It's a disruption and ds is fumbling as he deals with it. If it's not new, then Scarlett is just venting and tired of it. Scarlett, if you want to solve the problem faster and reset everyone to remembering to value you, then stay calm while you reteach some basic manners.

Yes, so true.

Oh, ok. I thought your ds knew he was picking up the slack for dss.

But your bio kid was lashing out at you (passive-agressively) because you asked him to do your step son's chore.

I don't have step kids, but I think this is a good suggestion. I think there are underlying currents that Scarlett is experiencing that I don't get. I think if she put this stuff on a step-parenting board, they'd be able to immediately say, "Oh, I get it!" and would probably articulate for Scarlett exactly what's going on, like they were reading her mind or living her life. Like, I only come here to talk about homeschool issues, because no one else will get it in a visceral way like you guys will. Scarlett, I think you need a step-parenting group that will get the subtexts that are going on with your family right now: the good and the bad--the whole ball of wax.

So, ds was having a little hissy fit because he was asked to help dss with the laundry. I've seen that before, too! My kids go round and round about whose turn it is to wash a certain pan they both use in the morning for eggs. They are so obnoxious about it and neither one wants to cave and help the other. So puffed up with pride about not having to wash the pan. This sorta sounds like normal sibling stuff. Obnoxious, but normal. DS was mad that he was asked to do dss's job. My youngest really hates it when I ask him to do his older brother's work. He gets really mad. I don't have much advice, but I don't think this particular case was about you. It sounds like it was a brother thing. I was an only child so this dynamic of brothers sometimes being mad about being asked to help each other is new to me.

Now that's something I can get. I don't think this was just about the jeans. It's about a lot of little things adding up, right? Ok, now that we're at the core issue, it all makes more sense. Your life has changed with another person living there. And all of a sudden, all the work you did to create a nice life for the family comes across as petty to them and they don't care or appreciate what you're doing to make a nice life together. There could be a miriad of reasons for this. Maybe with the changes, your expectations no longer match what can reasonably be done. Maybe it's time for a new normal. Myabe not. Maybe with the changes, the rest of the family is unsettled, too, and not at their best. Maybe you need to step back a few steps and re-teach everyone how to show gratitude, the way you had to teach the kids when they were young. Just don't forget what you already know: teenagers are notorious for being self-centered and ungrateful for the simple things done for them until they're adults and finally see how much work it all is, so it's not just your kids. And you get more flies with honey.

Don't forget the part of my post about how even with the list, it can take *weeks* for them to do the job the right way. You *will* be calling them over to point to the list for *weeks*. Weeks. Weeks. With adhd or executive function: months.

My sons had been stuffing their clothes into their drawers. Clean, folded, IRONED clothes. Ironed! As if anyone does that anymore! My dh does. He loves to iron. The boys were stuffing clean, folded, ironed clothes into their drawers. And...are you ready?...they were also stuffing dirty, stinky clothes into the same drawers. I was not on top of this. By the time I realized what was going on, every single garment in both their dressers was completely stinky and totally wrinkled. So, I had them take all the clothes out and wash them all. Then, we took about an hour and learned how to fold. It was probably the longest hour of my ds14's life. Because when they folded them wrong, I made them re-do it until they were folded the right way. They hated it, but it had gotten out of hand. So, I do understand. I didn't berate or yell or take it personally. I just pointed out that their clothes stank and that they couldn't ball them up in their drawers anymore. They just couldn't. Part of me wanted to say, "Well, if you want to look like a wrinkled mess, fine." But another part pictured their future wives glaring at me because I hadn't taught my boys how to put clothes away when they were young. So, we had our long folding lesson. So, Scarlett, I go back and forth. Sometimes I make them do the job over and over till it's right. Sometimes I quietly ask them to do it once. Sometimes I write the lists. Sometimes I completely let it go. It sounds like you're having a bad time right now, overall. It sounds like something has unsettled you, deeper than chores. Honestly, your posts lately don't sound like "you." You sound like a completely different person than the Scarlett I've been listening to for these past few years. I think something is stressing you out or something is going on that's beyond your posts. Maybe your life feels a little out of control with the change in your household? Maybe you're not getting enough sleep?

You sound exactly (exactly!) like my dh did last night. I should put him on here so you can get some sympathy. He was getting petulant about his aggravations in front of the kids. That was wrong. On the other hand, we had not been taking him seriously when he said it bothered him to come home to stuff strewn about the house. That was wrong. I made sure to give the kids gentle reminders to pick up their stuff more often throughout the day today. Have you tried a checklist? One of my sons has adhd, and here's what they suggest for an adhd person. It probably will work great with a non-adhd person and much faster. It can take weeks for an adhd/executive function-type person to be able to do complex jobs independently. 1. Write a complete list of how to complete the job (the laundry.). 2. When the person does NOT complete the job properly (and they won't--for adhd/executive function people, this can be for WEEKS), call them over to the list and show them the step they missed. 3. After a few weeks, when they still miss a step (when, not if), call them over and don't point to the list, just ask, "So, what step did you miss?" They can look it up themselves. You want them to look it up themselves on the list. 4. After a few weeks of this, don't check up on them, but ask, "Did you complete all the steps?" Let them think it through. Remind them to consult the list...then check. 5. Give them rewards along the way. The reward is something you agreed upon at the beginning and it's earned when the person has performed the task in whatever parameters you agreed upon, like: "When I check on your laundry and you've done it correctly per the list with only 1 reminder from me for each load for a week, we'll do X." "When I check on your laundry and you've done it correctly per the list with only 1 reminder from me for ALL the loads for a week, we'll do Y." "When I check on your laundry and you've done it correctly per the list with NO reminders from me for ALL the loads for a week, we'll do Z." That's called scaffolding. It's a ton of work. You give the person clear, written instructions, you've given them mini-rewards as they start to figure out how to do the job without reminders, and you've given them a slightly bigger reward when they finally get to the point when they can handle it 100% by themselves. If the kids are consistently not doing what you ask, check yourself that you're not being petulant in front of them. Then consider that they might need scaffolding in the form of detailed lists. You may respond with more info that will make this post pointless, but I thought I'd throw it out there since it's something we're dealing with here, too, only my dh is the one feeling marginalized. I got this either from That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week, or from Smart, But Scattered--can't remember which. Also, from Hold On To Your Kids, I learned that before you make a request, be sure to reconnect with the kids. Some eye-contact, a smile. Reconnect after every time apart. A time apart includes physically apart or mentally. So, if you first come in the door, reconnect with a smile, eye-contact and a few minutes of conversation. If you are mentally apart (watching a movie for instance), reconnect again. The boys respond to me much more humanly (and not bullishly) when we've reconnected.

I used to wear a tiny bit of makeup every day. Just eye stuff. Then I stopped for a while. Now I wear it from time to time. It's not the putting on and wearing that bothers me. It's the taking off. For some reason, I hate that extra step at night before going to bed. Part of me feels pulled toward learning all sorts of makeup tricks and changing up my look all the time and another part of me is pulled to never wearing it again. In the meanwhile, I wear simple liner, shadow, and mascara. Never did figure out the foundation and blush stuff. It seems so hard to know what colors to buy.

My whole family is praying for you.

I need to make a correction. I wrote earlier that this sort of thing happens in my house from time to time. Actually, it happens quite often. I figured it's just a part of raising kids. Some kids will be super clean and remember all the rules like that and some won't. For now I just keep reminding. My husband got mad at the kids yesterday because they left a bunch of stuff out and honestly, he just looked petty and small. We had words about it. He got over it and stopped being petty and small. I agreed that the kids need to be more on top of not leaving out their stuff and agreed to help remind them to clean up as they go throughout the day (dh feels unsettled walking into a messy house.) After watching all those people in Aleppo post their good-byes on social media, something switched inside of me. The stuff that used to bother me just...stopped. My husband isn't being beheaded. My kids aren't being bombed. There are empty cereal bowls left out on the table. Big whoop. "Kids, put the bowls away." Done. I kinda hope that this switch is a permanent thing and I don't go back to feeling annoyed by the small stuff.

This sort of thing happens in my house from time to time. Me: Hey, Son, come here. Son arrives. Son: Yeah? Me: Pointing at jeans. "Wha...?" Son: Oh Me: Put them away. Son: They're not mine! Me: Uh huh. Put them away. Son: But they're not mine! Me: Yup. The jean fairies must have made a mistake. Put them away. You know they don't go here. Put them in your brother's drawer. Son heads off with jeans trying to decide whether to be offended or not. Me: Thanks. If it happened over and over and over, then I'd have a sit down and talk more seriously about it. For a one (or two) time thing, I'd just call him over and ask him to put the jeans where they belong.

Then I think you're one of the lucky ones. If you feel good when you get up and have energy all day until evening, then it sound like you hit the jackpot. :)

I came back to refer to something that other people already wrote: the interrupted sleep pattern. In the link that MomatHWTK linked (here), click on interrupted sleep. Interrupted sleep seems to happen about 4 hours after the start of sleep and not 6, but you could be having a variation on that. It's a bit of a pain, though, because you'd have to get to bed early in the night to have time to accommodate a full nights sleep (of 8 hours) PLUS the time you are awake in the middle of it (about 1 hour). Have you tried doing something calm for about an hour after you wake and seeing if you get tired again and fall back asleep? You could go to bed at 10, sleep until 4, read until 5, then sleep until 7. Sleep is tricky. I've found that most of the people I know IRL who have sleep issues will not take any action against them. They'll just drag through the day and complain about how tired they are, but won't do anything to solve the issue. I think they're too tired to think the problem through and just keep muddling along. If you are tired and getting only 6 hours of sleep, and are ready to tackle the problem, there are things you can do. I'd recommend starting with the rock-solid bedtime. Next, if you wake up after 6 hours, do something quiet and see if you can fall back asleep after about an hour--or two. Or three. Per the study on the link, people could stay awake for 2 or 3 hours before falling back asleep. You might be someone who has that interrupted sleep pattern. I'm not sure you can change that, but if you know you have it, you can work around it by accepting it and using that wake time in the middle of the night to get some quiet things done. Maybe paperwork or something. It's a pain, though, because everyone else will be awake while you're still sleeping later into the morning.

How long have you been trying to get more than 6 hours of sleep? It can take months for your body to settle into a new rhythm. How often have you switched things up? You mentioned going to bed early/going to bed late. To establish a sleep pattern, you need to go to bed at the exact same time every night, including weekends for many weeks in a row. You can't try going to bed early for a week, then to bed late for a week. Instead pick a time and stick with it for months. Are you tired in the day? Can you fall asleep in the afternoon within 7 minutes? Do you doze during tv or movies? If so, you're not getting enough sleep. If you're wide awake and your mind is clear all day, then perhaps your'e getting enough sleep. If you want to try again: Pick a bedtime and move mountains to get yourself into bed at that time every single night--Friday/Saturday nights included. No staying out late with friends and missing your bedtime. Do this for 4 months. No napping during the day, unless it's 20 minutes or less. If you can fall asleep within 7 minutes in the middle of the day, then you are sleep deprived. If you are so exhausted you can't think straight, you can take a 20 minute nap, but more than that runs the risk of messing up your bedtime sleepiness. Is there something that is waking you 6 hours later? A dog barking? A husband leaving for work? If it's something that wakes you, try to find a way to make that thing stop or to block the noise (earplugs or something.)

I know this is an old thread, but I have been meaning to reply to it for weeks, but then Christmas happened and I forgot all about it. OP...you asked about primary documents. This is a website with free lessons around primary documents. There are world history lessons and US history lessons. https://sheg.stanford.edu/us

I read this book AFTER I had the kids. (Don't know why.) The take away I got from it was that I wasn't crazy or weak for being depressed and hopeless and miserable about the morning sickness that lasted every single waking minute of the day for months on end. I don't know if any of the suggestions in it will help, but it might make you feel better emotionally to know that it's not a man cold, but that it's something that will beat even the strongest of people down. http://www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-morning-sickness-companion_elizabeth-kaledin/522568/?gclid=CK3M95S4pNECFU-ewAod6ZwBog#isbn=0312284896&pcrid=70112892672&pkw=&pmt=&plc=

Don't want to quote everything in case you don't want it quoted, but :grouphug: . Wish there was a magic answer that would make everything all better.

Today is "prep for the next week's school" day. It takes me about 6 or so hours each week. It's also "clean up the schoolroom from our Christmas Sloppiness" day. The kids won't like that. It was going to be "go out to lunch with a friend" day but she cancelled. I'll miss spending time with her, but the extra 2 hours in my day to get my work done is nice.

I use them as part of my high-schooler's curriculum. I wouldn't use them for my 11 year old. There are a number of people on this board whose middle-schoolers like them, but I don't think that's typical. They're college-level lectures and most middle-schoolers would yawn through most of them. For my high-schooler, we're using the following: For his Introduction to Astronomy Class: Understanding the Universe, An Introduction to Astronomy Our Night Sky For his World History Class: Turning Points in Modern History A Brief History of the World High School Level World History For his Photography Class Fundamentals of Photography For his American History Class (to be watched next year) History of the United States In preparation to starting high school: How to be a Superstar Student. We have enjoyed all of them for various reasons. The courses are not the core material of our classes--they supplement what we're already doing. For a couple of them, I will sit and watch with him and pause throughout the lectures for us to discuss and to be sure he's getting the points (Brief History of the World guy with your super long sentences that meander all over the place, I'm looking at you), and for some he watches on his own. Each course comes with a pdf or printed copy of the lecture notes and usually each lecture has a few short-answer thought questions at the end. There are no answers to those questions, but I have my son answer them in writing and I decide if he's answered them correctly and thoroughly. If you'd like specific reviews of the courses I've used, I can provide them, but usually what you see on the Great Courses website is pretty accurate. There haven't been any that I've thought were a waste of money in the slightest. You'll see people review the High School level World History course a little less than the others and complain that it's juvenile, but I think they're pretty clear that it's meant to be at a lower level than the others since it clearly says "High School Level" in the title. But for us, the lower level has been a welcome relief to my son. His school day is a challenge to him so he appreciates watching a half hour of a guy dressed up in a costume using a silly accent. He has learned a lot from those lectures, and gotten a little break at the same time. My ds14 could probably listen to the lectures without having the video component, but I prefer being able to see the person talking. Some people must have something to look at or the information goes in one ear and out the other (my ds11 and me.) Other people get distracted by looking at the speaker and prefer to listen only to the lectures. Some lectures would be fine for audio only, but others have pictures and graphics that are important to view. Every single course goes on sale at some time during each year. They just had their 70% off everything sale in December. If you decide want a course, wait for it to go on sale and buy it then. I would never, ever buy full price. You'll want to get on an email list so you get the messages of which courses are on sale. Something is on sale all the time. Also, a few weeks after my first purchase I received a coupon in the mail for some crazy-good discount. Like 85% off or something (can't remember exactly). But it had a fast expiration date, so I scrambled to find a couple more courses to buy to take advantage of my coupon. If you can only buy a couple of courses, then do so and you might (no promise) get a coupon for a great discount and then you could perhaps afford more. I keep a running list of possible courses I might want to buy in the future and each time a sale rolls around I consider if it's time to buy one of those courses. I've learned not to pre-buy too far in advance, however, but a running list is good in case there's a special deal and you realize you want to jump on it while it lasts.

My son takes a class on your website with Mrs. Nowell and so we think about you and David a lot. We have prayed for your family.

How far in advance do people sign up for this test? I don't expect my son to take it until October or so, but do I sign up now? I guess it won't hurt...but it seems silly to sign up 9 months in advance. Or is that how this stuff works? I'm sure this question has been asked a bunch of times here, but I can't find it, even when I search through google. I have sketchy luck with finding old threads here.

Other than a language test*, which I see must be taken first, does the student pick which SAT Subject test to take in which order? It's important to know so that we can decide which one he should take when he's most fresh if the decision is really up to us. According to the collegeboard website, the test book includes all the tests given. So, I'm assuming that each student opens the book to whichever test he wants to take. And when that test is done and he starts the next test, he can choose which one to take second. Right? *My son isn't taking a language test, so we don't have to worry about that this year.