Yes. I had a breast biopsy last year and didn't tell my dds. I was 'secretly' icing my breast and told them nothing. Later, when I found out it was not cancer, I told them. It was a secret. A big secret. Yet, I feel no guilt because I didn't want them to worry and they didn't.

Okay, many are saying not be asked to keep secrets by adults. I get that. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about secrets in general. One of the threads/posts was about someone keeping their college application essay a secret. At least one person posted it would bother them because no secrets were allowed. I was wondering how many think it's not okay for children/teens to keep secrets that have nothing to do with adults telling them to.

Yet, I had, and continue to have, great relationships with my parents and didn't tell them those things. It had zero to do with them but was all about me. I can see all the grades but there has been a time or two when they have received a really bad grade that they didn't say anything before I saw it. It was about them being upset about it; not my reaction. I find the conversation interesting. I actually like that my dds are so close and do have those secrets and inside jokes. I was surprised to see more than one post recently saying they expect no secrets.

So, it's not okay for siblings to only talk to friends or one another about crushes but leave out parents? It's not okay to share one bad grade with a friend or sibling but keep it from parents for a time? I find it so interesting because I had so many secrets with my siblings! I've seen my own dds do the same. Youngest knew oldest was gay way before we did. Oldest knew the crush of youngest way before we did. And so on. It's never bothered me and I've never thought it was wrong so I wondered when I saw two recent posts. Maybe I'm reading secrets as something different, though.

I've read on two threads here recently with posts about how secrets aren't allowed in their families. Is this a big thing? Do many here teach/parent that secrets aren't allowed? I'm a bit shocked by the idea that secrets are considered so wrong. Dh and I have actually told our dds that it's okay to have secrets, especially between one another. We've also told them how we wouldn't pry for that information because it would be rude. I don't expect them to tell me everything, especially not as it happens. I definitely didn't tell my own parents but much of it was told later on in life accompanied by a lot of laughter. FTR, my dds are rather open with us and tell us a lot that I wouldn't have told my own parents. I also know that they keep some things to themselves and I honor their privacy. Is the no secret thing only between certain people and things or do you seriously expect no secrets at all? I'm honestly curious. ETA: I also wondering about ages. Are secrets okay for some ages and not for others?

Are you certain the part time job has no benefits? I was surprised when I started looking for a job this year (for the first time in 16 years) that many part time jobs here came with full benefits. A 20 hour entry level job at a large nearby hospital even came with PTO and health insurance. It might be worth investigating.

They say there are surveillance cameras somewhere nearby that show her husband leaving as well as at least one another man going in after he left. There was a robbery at a home nearby right before and they're saying they saw an opportunity when they saw the husband leave. The news also said they have questioned some men due to the footage. I've watched none of his sermons and don't plan to.

My dh is involved with ACA for another very large insurance company (not United) and their enrollment is up for 2016. Not all are seeing dwindling numbers and talking of pulling out of the exchange.

This has been an interesting discussion. For me, personally, I know I wouldn't be able to intentionally kill anyone to save myself. I'm a Christian. Many in my family have served in the military, including my own dh. There were guns in my home growing up. I don't view myself as a pacifist at all but I know I couldn't intentionally kill anyone (by shooting, etc.). There are zero weapons in my home. I also feel I would fight like crazy to save my dds and to get them to safety. The only pacifists I have ever known have argued that even that isn't okay so I can't get on board with it.

We only pay $100/month for four of us. Our out of pocket maximum for the year is $12K. Half of that OOP max is on our HSA card and half of that is supplied by dh's employer. We are well aware that we don't feel the pinch, though, because his employer is very large and pays so much of the cost for their employees. My siblings are teachers and have horrible insurance because the state doesn't really help them at all.

How can you know it doesn't? It's all about faith.

I've become friends with those who were not nice to me in high school. I've noticed the ones in my life have all changed and are rather awesome people now. I'm glad I took the chance. If I took a chance and they hadn't changed, I wouldn't feel guilty about unfriending them at all.

We have a seven year old Beagle who is the sweetest thing ever. He isn't dominant at all and is a scared of lots of things. He's great with just us and loves meeting people. Dds have been wanting another dog for a while now since we lost one. When we had two before they didn't hate each other but they didn't really seem to like each other either. They just coexisted. Neither was aggressive or interested. New dog is just under a year and is very energetic. She will chase our dog out of the room and out of his food and water bowl. He looks like he wants to play but she is so aggressive, he can't get there. He has been hiding in our bedroom even when we crate her. They did play in the backyard where he had more room to run but I feel horrible that his home has become somewhere he doesn't feel comfortable. Any ideas on how to make our older, 7 year old, feel more comfortable and any ideas to calm the puppy a bit? How long do you think it should take for things to get better or we need to research alternatives? I'm not okay with the idea that our older pup, that we've had for seven years, feels a need to hide.

I get dealing with others eating food you like but can't have while out in the world. I don't get not being able to be comfortable in your own home. I lost my taste and smell several years ago. Many foods are horrible smelling and tasting now to me. My dh and dds do not bring those foods into our home. I don't bring foods into our home they cannot eat but love. If your family doesn't seem to care, that's great. I think if they do express their frustrations and dislike, you should make an effort to accommodate.I want my family comfortable in their home and keeping certain foods out isn't really that big of a deal.

Dad's being a jerk. I could see him buying them one time, but once his dd asked him to stop I find it incredibly immature and rude that he didn't. We'd be having words and I would 100% be on my child's side. It's cookies! It's something terribly important dad must eat in front of his child who can't have them.

Our home is in a state with no state income tax but our property taxes are always less than $800. House is a short drive to the beach and schools are top in the state. I'm also one who can't fathom paying thousands.

Those are the ones we use!! We've never had anti-bacterial soaps in the house but I thought the foam ones we use were okay.

I think I should try the bold. Oldest is rarely in her room as they spend the majority of time in the main living area. Maybe her having it at night will help, though. Thanks for all the suggestions!

We just moved a few months ago from sunny FL to the Midwest. Youngest is having issues with dryness and the backs of her hands. She is having to lotion up and sleep in gloves (the kind they sell for this purpose) a few nights a week. They get so red, dry, and cracked. In the beginning, they were bloody as well. They hurt her. She uses lotion daily. When she wears the gloves, she uses Eucerin (sp ?) intensive therapy lotion. Someone did mention a humidifier but I then worry about oldest. She is allergic to dust mites and has asthma and I've read it can make things worse for her. Are there other things out there that might help? Any ideas?

This made me laugh so hard! My dds are in ps and oldest has been working on a group project in a 20th Century Lit class. She finally was fed up with the other members not pulling their weight and actually went to the teacher. Dd didn't even get to complete her first sentence before her teacher said she knew what was going on and was already grading her individually. This wasn't the first time but dd has been getting so frustrated with those types of projects and doing the bulk of the work. So, these projects really seem to be a lesson in how to advocate for yourself and not tell off your classmates.

The OP used it too. It's in my post where I quoted her. I'm on my phone so can't tell what number post it is. It's not a big thing but it's confusing to say you won't change mid session if it's only been one class. Only one class also confused me in not accommodating. Especially since the OP now says she understands it would be safer for everyone going forward. If you know using no nuts is safer, why wouldn't you change it now?

When you responded to me, you said it was mid session. So, I think some of us felt that meant you were in the middle, not the beginning, of classes.

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We originally purchased a 30 year mortgage. We had no choice. Two years later we refinanced to a 15 year mortgage when rates were better. We will be selling that home next year and buying a new one. It will be a 15 year.

My post was actually only in response to yours. I wasn't mistaking other posts for yours. I just don't agree with you. If you're in the middle of the session, he's been safe and the plan they came up with has worked. I would accommodate for the rest of the session.