Please tell me it's all going to be okay... :-/

[PeachyDoodle]

We had a conference with ds5's pre-K teacher this morning. She says he is behind in his ability to understand abstract concepts. He struggles with things like sorting by shape and size and following multi-step instructions, among other things.

 

She said it could be a maturity thing, or it could be indicative of some type of processing issue. The only thing I know about processing issues is what I've googled in the hour since we left the school. He does have quite a few of the symptoms. He may have an auditory processing disorder. Or a visual processing disorder. Or slow processing speed. Or all three. Can you have all three? Or maybe it's something else entirely...

 

Teacher says she's not qualified to tell us whether this warrants taking him for an evaluation right now, but that she would definitely keep an eye on it. She described him as "young for his age." I've had my head in the sand about this for awhile, but I know there is something going on. We have a call in to the pediatrician for his opinion and/or help getting started with the evaluation process.

 

I am scared. I don't know what any of this means. I know it can be dealt with -- at least, I hope it can. Like most parents (I assume -- maybe it's just me), I've crafted this perfect little reality in my head in which my children are smart and successful and never have to struggle with anything. Ridiculous, I know. But I don't know what this means for him going forward.

 

Have you been here? Please tell me it will all be okay. :crying:

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:

[Rachel]

I've never been in this situation, but I bet it will all be ok. Hugs to you.

[fourisenough]

It will be okay because he has a parent who 1) is engaged enough to recognize it needs to be dealt with and 2) smart enough to reach out for professional evaluation and support. You've got this!

[73349]

Your baby is going to be okay. He is still a little guy. If he needs help, you'll make sure he gets it. :grouphug:

[Tammyla]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug: You sound like an awesome mom.  Love your little boy, I'm sure he is precious.

 

My sister has one with a processing disorder.  She's a great kid,  works hard and I know she is going to grow into an awesome person.

[Julie of KY]

HUGS. It's going to be okay. The biggest thing is for you to keep giving him what is best for him and being his advocate. In other words, follow your mom instincts for what is best for your child.

 

It's okay if it's just a maturity issue or if there is some sort of processing disorder.

 

I've got three kids that fall in the spectrum of processing disorders. While they couldn't do what their peers did at the same age, they also had great strengths that made them stand out above their peers. It's not all bad to be different. If it affects his learning, you just take it one step at a time and keep him moving along at whatever pace HE needs.

 

My oldest has a markedly slow processing speed compared to his IQ and it significantly effects his writing. It's taken a long time, but now he can write a college level paper (still at a very slow speed). He has had accommodations all along in school and college board testing as well as needing accommodations for college, but he also has full tuition scholarships.

[foxbridgeacademy]

I have a mild auditory processing disorder, I've learned how to adjust and use visual clues.  My son who is a great kid and you'd never know there's anything wrong with him has dyslexia and issues with slow speed/executive function.  He's worked through and grown out of most of these.  The thing is I had a couple people (teachers, family) suggest that he was ASD when he was 4-5.  By the time he was 8 no one would have ever thought that and are astounded by the idea now(HSing and lots and lots of work).  Some kids just take longer to mature.  If your son does have any of the disorders or something else, knowing early is the best thing so you can start working with him to learn how to adapt and adjust. 

[kbutton]

We had a conference with ds5's pre-K teacher this morning. She says he is behind in his ability to understand abstract concepts. He struggles with things like sorting by shape and size and following multi-step instructions, among other things.

 

She said it could be a maturity thing, or it could be indicative of some type of processing issue. The only thing I know about processing issues is what I've googled in the hour since we left the school. He does have quite a few of the symptoms. He may have an auditory processing disorder. Or a visual processing disorder. Or slow processing speed. Or all three. Can you have all three? Or maybe it's something else entirely...

 

Teacher says she's not qualified to tell us whether this warrants taking him for an evaluation right now, but that she would definitely keep an eye on it. 

 

I have two kids with exceptionalities. My younger one...if it has any of the following words in it, he has a problem: processing, motor, speech. He's a great 8 y.o.--he's ahead of the curve in some areas and being run over it in others, and that's okay. Your kiddo will be okay too, but I think you do need to figure out (now or in a year or so) what's going on. I know you wanted reassurance, and I am glad to give it, but I'm also including some data on what was behind these sorts of issues in our home in case that helps. I also believe, strongly, that if you wait, and it's not a late-blooming thing, then you have more of a problem and less time to fix it.

 

We had a really trying time during the first half of this year 2nd grade). Previously, I had been able to kind of smooth over and accommodate the things that were getting stuck, but they all just kind of came together and roared at one time. Turns out that a couple of things had risen to the level of "needs help now" where before they were watch and wait (or be told either "there is nothing wrong" or "we can't test for that until he's older").

 

Turns out that our biggest deal was with retained primitive reflexes. That was our lynchpin for things to move forward productively. Next year, it will probably be something different that shifts and comes to the forefront. The reflexes were causing lots of motor issues (which were causing him to be sensory seeking in the areas of his body that weren't working right). They caused major issues with ocular motor and visual perception skills, which came out in his reading and writing, and overall clumsiness. We did a round of vision therapy and have a WHOLE NEW CHILD. (Our vision therapist works on retained primitive reflexes, or else this might not have ended up being our lynchpin issues--it might have played out differently.) Some people would have had better or different results with occupational therapy instead (we've done that, but they didn't do anything about the reflexes). It varies by geographical area, the school of thought of the therapist, and the specific expertise of the therapist. 

 

His biggest issues has actually been CAPD, but we could not get a formal diagnosis until recently, and even then, we were given a super hard time because of his speech issues. The CAPD totally messes with following directions and things like that. He mishears all the time. He is functionally deaf in a loud, noisy environment. It's getting better as his system matures, but it's real. We tell adults in any of his activities what to expect because otherwise, he is always one step behind. At swimming lessons, the pool area is echoey and noisy, and he has to take his glasses off--unless a teacher makes an effort to communicate carefully, my son misses ALL directions because he can't see or hear.

 

His age and evaluations--We had previously done OT and had also had a speech evaluation. The speech person MISSED EVERYTHING. She downplayed the areas that had red flags. Two years later (last fall), we found out that he has apraxia of speech (trouble with the motor aspects of speech production) and oral motor problems (chewing, swallowing, etc.) that go back to infancy. You didn't mention speech, but for us, it goes back to that nasty motor word, and motor and processing often go together. Also speech processing/language processing is often tested by a speech person--they don't do just articulation. You can have problems with receptive or expressive language that overlap with what you are describing. They test this with a test called CELF most often, though if you suspect auditory processing issues, you might want to find someone to run a test called CASL. There are some other tests they will often do as well. If you find problems with pragmatics of speech (social stuff, etc.), you are going to want to sort out whether than is related to CAPD and such, or if it's more developmental.

 

It's usually very difficult to get auditory processing test prior to age 7, and most places prefer to do nothing until age 8. Sometimes an audiology clinic will run a screening for CAPD called the SCAN-3. Some psychologist or speech people can do it as well, but they will not be able to run it in a booth like an audiologist will. CAPD is tricky because there are numerous components, and you don't have to have problems in all of those areas to have a big problem in real life. Unlike other things where more symptoms make for a better diagnosis, you can be seriously impaired in even one area and still have CAPD. Also, CAPD can influence expressive and receptive language, so it's kind of one ball of wax there.

 

A big, (presumably but not always) thorough evaluation with a neuropsych can be expensive, and they often like to do it more around the age of six. Things you can do that are not going to cost an arm and a leg (unless they uncover stuff and want to keep going):

• Hearing test with an audiologist--not a pediatrician or the school. The ped and the school test next to nothing. 
• Eye exam with a developmental optometrist (COVD is the kind you want). Some roll the ocular motor stuff right into a normal exam, and it's cheap. Others have sort of a screening, and then they pull out bigger testing if the screening shows red flags. Ask around and call offices--people either love or hate their local COVD. We have one of each within driving distance.
• Some basic testing for motor stuff--this will vary by area, but it could be with an OT or PT person. In our case, only the vision therapist really picked up on major motor issues. The OT sort of did, but because they did not dig, we didn't get a lot of improvement, just a bump in overall strength and willingness to try new things. (OT was amazing for our older son, but he'd already been through vision therapy with reflex work at that point, whereas, our younger son had not).
• SCAN-3 testing to get a ballpark idea about CAPD.
• Receptive/expressive language testing.

For the language processing (auditory processing or receptive/expressive language), there are games and programs you can do at home that aren't super hard. These tools help them notice the bits and pieces of language stuff they aren't explicitly picking up. This series is really good. I would go to the Super Duper website to watch videos explaining how it works, but then buy it at Staples.com if it's cheaper. 

http://www.staples.com/Super-Duper-Processing-Program-Levels-1-2-and-3-Combo/product_308326?externalize=certona 

[PeachyDoodle]

I've got three kids that fall in the spectrum of processing disorders. While they couldn't do what their peers did at the same age, they also had great strengths that made them stand out above their peers. It's not all bad to be different. If it affects his learning, you just take it one step at a time and keep him moving along at whatever pace HE needs.

 

I know that this is true. He is a wonderful little boy -- loving and kind and imaginative. He's highly mechanical and loves to take things apart. His teacher said one reason her concerns would be lessened is that she knew he would be homeschooled. She clearly thinks that, barring any great leaps forward, he would be lost were he going into a kindergarten classroom next year. Part of that has to do with the fact that he needs to be "managed" a bit more -- having instructions repeated and help staying on task, etc. It seems to me that she is seeing more of this in the classroom than I am at home. I wonder if being in a busy room with more people is making it more difficult for him to focus?

 

I have a mild auditory processing disorder, I've learned how to adjust and use visual clues.  My son who is a great kid and you'd never know there's anything wrong with him has dyslexia and issues with slow speed/executive function.  He's worked through and grown out of most of these.  The thing is I had a couple people (teachers, family) suggest that he was ASD when he was 4-5.  By the time he was 8 no one would have ever thought that and are astounded by the idea now(HSing and lots and lots of work).  Some kids just take longer to mature.  If your son does have any of the disorders or something else, knowing early is the best thing so you can start working with him to learn how to adapt and adjust. 

 

Thank you; this gives me confidence. I do think that, whatever it is we're dealing with, it's not insurmountable. But I am afraid that there's a long road ahead. Congratulations to you and your ds -- it sounds like he's made great strides in a short time!

 

I have two kids with exceptionalities. My younger one...if it has any of the following words in it, he has a problem: processing, motor, speech. He's a great 8 y.o.--he's ahead of the curve in some areas and being run over it in others, and that's okay. Your kiddo will be okay too, but I think you do need to figure out (now or in a year or so) what's going on. I know you wanted reassurance, and I am glad to give it, but I'm also including some data on what was behind these sorts of issues in our home in case that helps. I also believe, strongly, that if you wait, and it's not a late-blooming thing, then you have more of a problem and less time to fix it.

 

We had a really trying time during the first half of this year 2nd grade). Previously, I had been able to kind of smooth over and accommodate the things that were getting stuck, but they all just kind of came together and roared at one time. Turns out that a couple of things had risen to the level of "needs help now" where before they were watch and wait (or be told either "there is nothing wrong" or "we can't test for that until he's older").

 

Turns out that our biggest deal was with retained primitive reflexes. That was our lynchpin for things to move forward productively. Next year, it will probably be something different that shifts and comes to the forefront. The reflexes were causing lots of motor issues (which were causing him to be sensory seeking in the areas of his body that weren't working right). They caused major issues with ocular motor and visual perception skills, which came out in his reading and writing, and overall clumsiness. We did a round of vision therapy and have a WHOLE NEW CHILD. (Our vision therapist works on retained primitive reflexes, or else this might not have ended up being our lynchpin issues--it might have played out differently.) Some people would have had better or different results with occupational therapy instead (we've done that, but they didn't do anything about the reflexes). It varies by geographical area, the school of thought of the therapist, and the specific expertise of the therapist. 

 

His biggest issues has actually been CAPD, but we could not get a formal diagnosis until recently, and even then, we were given a super hard time because of his speech issues. The CAPD totally messes with following directions and things like that. He mishears all the time. He is functionally deaf in a loud, noisy environment. It's getting better as his system matures, but it's real. We tell adults in any of his activities what to expect because otherwise, he is always one step behind. At swimming lessons, the pool area is echoey and noisy, and he has to take his glasses off--unless a teacher makes an effort to communicate carefully, my son misses ALL directions because he can't see or hear.

 

His age and evaluations--We had previously done OT and had also had a speech evaluation. The speech person MISSED EVERYTHING. She downplayed the areas that had red flags. Two years later (last fall), we found out that he has apraxia of speech (trouble with the motor aspects of speech production) and oral motor problems (chewing, swallowing, etc.) that go back to infancy. You didn't mention speech, but for us, it goes back to that nasty motor word, and motor and processing often go together. Also speech processing/language processing is often tested by a speech person--they don't do just articulation. You can have problems with receptive or expressive language that overlap with what you are describing. They test this with a test called CELF most often, though if you suspect auditory processing issues, you might want to find someone to run a test called CASL. There are some other tests they will often do as well. If you find problems with pragmatics of speech (social stuff, etc.), you are going to want to sort out whether than is related to CAPD and such, or if it's more developmental.

 

It's usually very difficult to get auditory processing test prior to age 7, and most places prefer to do nothing until age 8. Sometimes an audiology clinic will run a screening for CAPD called the SCAN-3. Some psychologist or speech people can do it as well, but they will not be able to run it in a booth like an audiologist will. CAPD is tricky because there are numerous components, and you don't have to have problems in all of those areas to have a big problem in real life. Unlike other things where more symptoms make for a better diagnosis, you can be seriously impaired in even one area and still have CAPD. Also, CAPD can influence expressive and receptive language, so it's kind of one ball of wax there.

 

A big, (presumably but not always) thorough evaluation with a neuropsych can be expensive, and they often like to do it more around the age of six. Things you can do that are not going to cost an arm and a leg (unless they uncover stuff and want to keep going):

• Hearing test with an audiologist--not a pediatrician or the school. The ped and the school test next to nothing. 
• Eye exam with a developmental optometrist (COVD is the kind you want). Some roll the ocular motor stuff right into a normal exam, and it's cheap. Others have sort of a screening, and then they pull out bigger testing if the screening shows red flags. Ask around and call offices--people either love or hate their local COVD. We have one of each within driving distance.
• Some basic testing for motor stuff--this will vary by area, but it could be with an OT or PT person. In our case, only the vision therapist really picked up on major motor issues. The OT sort of did, but because they did not dig, we didn't get a lot of improvement, just a bump in overall strength and willingness to try new things. (OT was amazing for our older son, but he'd already been through vision therapy with reflex work at that point, whereas, our younger son had not).
• SCAN-3 testing to get a ballpark idea about CAPD.
• Receptive/expressive language testing.

For the language processing (auditory processing or receptive/expressive language), there are games and programs you can do at home that aren't super hard. These tools help them notice the bits and pieces of language stuff they aren't explicitly picking up. This series is really good. I would go to the Super Duper website to watch videos explaining how it works, but then buy it at Staples.com if it's cheaper. 

http://www.staples.com/Super-Duper-Processing-Program-Levels-1-2-and-3-Combo/product_308326?externalize=certona 

 

I REALLY appreciate all this info! Thank you for sharing. I am not at all sure what we are looking at here, and I am afraid that, as you mention, he may be too young to reach any useful conclusions. And I am struggling even to articulate the symptoms (?) that I see. He does seem different from his peers, but not in an egregious way. He often seems confused, especially during conversation or when he's given a task that's new or different. He does very well with concrete skills (such as following a diagram to build his snap circuits), less so with more abstract concepts (like finding the path through a maze). I'm not certain what any of that means, nor how to research it exactly. But you've given me some terms and information I can use to hopefully learn more. And the Super Duper products look very helpful, so thanks especially for that!!

 

I do think that, if there is a problem, we need to know now. I don't want to wait any longer than necessary. But I also worry that we'll "find" problems that really would have worked themselves out if we'd given him some time. (I think dh worries more about that than I do.) I feel like we're on a tightrope here. In the end, all I want is for my sweet little boy to be who HE is, and preferably the least painful route to get him there.

 

Thanks, everyone, for your support. Talking helps, and I don't have many outlets for that.