CC, S/O - Help me find a suitable bible study plan

[abba12]

Hi all. I talk, I talk a lot. I don't even know HOW to write a short post, so if you don't like to read, you might want to click back :) Sorry! Since the topic of reading through the bible has come up at exactly the time I'm trying to figure out a new devotional routine, maybe you all can help me. Let me give a little backstory here...

 

I suffered various forms of abuse as a child, and have post traumatic stress disorder. Due to the nature of some of the abuse which I will not go into here, reading the bible itself actually causes PTSD triggers for me. It's been a challenging journey the Lord has taken me on! 7 years ago, attempting to read the bible was impossible. After a single verse, I would both be in physical (psychosomatic) pain, and completely unable to recall ANY idea or single detail of what I just read. My mind would entirely block it out. I give this example simply for context, it is not a matter of disliking reading the bible, but a matter of actual pain and subconscious mental blocks.

 

I still studied what I could of Gods Word. I was able to read books written by other people, and I was able to read children's bible story books. eventually moving onto comprehensive children's books where every chapter/story was covered, but rewritten into a child's language. As I read articles and books written by others, when they quoted a verse or two, I would force myself to read it 10, 20, 30 times until my mind latched onto it. Desensitization therapy has always been the most effective tool for me and my issues.

 

Over the years I have improved considerably. Nowdays, I still struggle somewhat with comprehension, and have to very intentionally focus on the words, and I still feel sore and uncomfortable or in some minor pain, but bible reading is, finally, achievable. (Praise the Lord! and something I'll sure never take for granted!)

Last year I was doing fairly well at a bible reading program, I would do it in the evening after the children went to bed so I could focus and had found some practical ways to minimize the psychosomatic discomfort, but then, as some of you know, my husband was diagnosed with a medical condition, lost his licence, and was fired, and I couldn't handle one more hard thing on top of life at that point.

So, I'm ready to pick it up again! But I would love some imput on how to approach it from people who know His Word better than I do.

Firstly, at this point I think volume is more important than complete understanding. I have a lot of basics of theology in my mind from reading others books and having very good, very interesting conversations with other christians, but with this I am attempting to a. finally desensitize myself completely from this particular trigger and begin a routine of time in the Word, and b. gain some over-arching context and a 'feel' for God, more than details and more than my own personal experiences with Him. Also, I have found it easier to motivate myself to sit down and read a large chunk of text, and 'acheive something', rather than a small set of verses which feel meaningless in scale compared to the effort put in to acheive it.

My biggest question is how. I thought of simply going front to back, bible in 90 days style (well, maybe more like 180, 5-10 chapters a day seems to be a good balance for me judging from last years reading success), but retention is an issue right now so by the time I hit new testament I'll be struggling to remember the context of the old testament (I am of a more conservative bent, and the connections between old and new, the fulfilling of prophecies, and the context of what came before, seems to be fairly important)
Then I read on one of the bible threads right now about Horner's reading plan, and it really appealed to me, I loved the idea of reading the same things over, but alongside different chapters, it seemed to completely match the ideas I had about context and connections and that over-arching view of God. But, reading chapters in succession seemed to help with my comprehension by turning it into a sucessive story, and I'm worried, with a plan like Horners, that I'll pick up the next day with no memory of the chapters from the day before.
I thought about an in between, like the one where you read some OT, some NT, and some psalms/proverbs alternating, but those are all set up for a year, which is less than 5-10 chapters a day, and.... I don't know, they don't seem to appeal to me. I had one of those 'one year bibles' as a child/teen, and I associate it with the spiritual abuse that led to this problem, so I'm thinking that plan might actually make things harder for me or trigger me more somehow... I can't be certain but it takes so much mental energy and motivation to even sit down with the bible at all that I'd rather try to avoid getting disheartened or overly triggered at the beginning. No, even just writing about it now, I can remember every detail of the cover of that damn book, and I feel short of breath. Even from a different book, I think knowing it's the same plan is going to cause a problem, that is just going to have to be a non-option.

It occurs to me that that last paragraph probably sounds crazy to some of you. How can a plan or reading order cause a panic attack? You'll just have to trust me on this one.

So, imagine you had a student who had some memory problems, and some comprehension problems, but was absolutely hungry for the meat of the Word of God, and would not be satisfied with short snippets and topical studies. How would you guide them through the bible, or what would you suggest they do?

[Bambam]

This study set up to reading OT and NT chapters every week with questions might be helpful.

http://www.thebiblestudyprogram.com/

[Junie]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

First, let me say that I am so sorry.  And I hope that you find a plan that works for you that is not painful.

 

Last year, I read through the books of the Bible from back to front.  I started in Revelation 1.  When I finished reading through Revelation, I read Jude.  When I finished Jude I read 3 John.

 

I came up with the idea just to do something different;  it was actually really enlightening because I was better able to see the cause/effect of different events in the Bible.  Somehow it was easier for me to understand it this way.

 

I have no idea if this would be helpful to you, but I wanted to put it on here just in case.

[Slache]

I would suggest that you do something with your kids in the morning so that you are all fed. I believe the Apologia Who Is series has scripture in it, but you don't have to have a Bible open to do it. I'm not 100% sure on that.

 

If you don't find it stressful I think you should listen to the Bible and sermons as well. I like John MacArthur and Paul Washer.

 

You also might try listening to instrumental music while you read.

 

Personally, I find that narrating the Bible as I go is a huge help. I like narrating in sketch books so that I can draw and make charts when necessary.

[Guest]

When my son was homeschooled, we read the gospels, over and over.  And the psalms, over and over again.  We read through Genesis and Deuteronomy and for the rest of the Old Testament, I used a good Bible Story Book.  

 

I have exactly ZERO regrets about doing it this way.  We probably read the Gospels at least 10x each.

 

In addition, we attended the services of our church, always Saturday night and always Sunday a.m., where the Old Testament and New Testament (all but Revelation) are read.  And most of the services themselves consist of the Psalms.  

 

Given that you have trigger issues, you know what I would do?  I would read a LITTLE and that little would be over and over--the Prodigal Son.  Over and over.  Mine it.  Because when you see what is in there, you will know how much you are loved and the rest will open up a little easier for you.

 

God be with you, Abba.

 

[Guest]

I haven't had retention issues with Horner's. Quite the opposite, actually. The crosshatching of the boos helps solidify each in my mind. It also keeps me more engaged, because even if there is s bookmark in a section I struggle with or find boring, I can always look forward to the next bookmark being an improvement. Yes, I did say that - some parts of the bible take real effort for me to focus and study :p

 

Also, don't be insane about it. For awhile I've just done five bookmarks instead of all ten each day. That just means it takes me two days to complete an assignment. No harm, no foul. Being able to adjust the plan like that has helped me with compliance. I've been terrible lately with my reading plan, but that's a side issue and unrelated to the quality of the system.

 

Another you may like better is the M'Cheyne plan:

http://hippocampusextensions.com/mcheyneplan/

 

As you can see it has only four bookmarks instead of two :)

[Guest]

Also, please stop panicking about your retention. The Word of God will change you even in your struggles - by reading and meditating on it each day it is doing a work in your life, even if you'll never be a champion bible memorizer. Release that guilt and work with the situation you have. Don't get down on yourself, just try different things and see what suites your needs best :)

[Greta]

When my son was homeschooled, we read the gospels, over and over. And the psalms, over and over again. We read through Genesis and Deuteronomy and for the rest of the Old Testament, I used a good Bible Story Book.

Yes! I was going suggest simply reading the gospels and praying the Psalms, repeat as needed, until you feel you are ready for more.

[lllll]

nm

[anmom]

Have you heard of Bible journaling? I have recently dove into this and it has opened up the Word to me in a way like no other. I am able to really study verses or chapters while allowing my creative side to really come through too. I do not set a limit, like reading so many chapters a day, but really focus on verses that meet me where I need the most at this time in my life.

[Little Nyssa]

((Hugs))

[kbutton]

I don't think this meant to be something you do while reading cover to cover, but you could do it that way. The outline and process for penciling in the sketched pictures is supposed to give you an overview while also being incremental enough to help you remember it. http://picturesmartbible.com/The pictures are outlined, so you don't have to be an artist. We're trying the NT with the kids.