Crissy Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 My grandmother saw an oncologist for the first time today. This was her first meeting with him, and their conversations about her diagnosis were based on her recent CT scan and blood tests. He gave her a life expectancy of two weeks to two months. How does a doctor make such a statement when the cancers have only been found in the past week? How can they predict how fast they will grow? Two weeks to two months? How can he know that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 (((Crissy))), I am so sorry. That is very difficult news, indeed. I am so sad for you. From what I know, certain cancers are faster moving than others. I know that cancer found in the liver is always a fast moving and deadly cancer. There are cancers that the Dr.'s are able to tell where it originated and whether it's the same cancer that has spread, or whether they are more than one cancer strain. I'm guessing your grandmother's cancer is the same cancer strain that has spread. From having enough experiences and seeing enough cases (and of course testing), they know how fast it's been spreading, probably based on the blood work. We all know, however, that Dr's are human and make mistakes. Their knowledge is based on past experiences but don't always hold the letter of the law. Yes, the Dr. gave that diagnosis. It's possible your grandmother will defy it. Again, (((Crissy))). I'm so very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted January 29, 2008 Author Share Posted January 29, 2008 (((Crissy))), From what I know, certain cancers are faster moving than others. I know that cancer found in the liver is always a fast moving and deadly cancer. Again, (((Crissy))). I'm so very sorry. That must be it, Janna. While the cancer is also in her stomach and colon, it is, by far, worst in her liver. Thank you for helping me understand. And for the hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Wow. I'm so sorry. (((Crissy))) What a blow. No words of wisdom, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 who has been there done that I know how hard it is. My FIL had leukemia that went to his brain. The dr. gave him one week..........he lasted 7 weeks. They can be wrong either way. However, as someone in the medical field I was aware that it is just a best guess based on past experience. Things to take into consideration is the person's overall health, their desire to either live or die (this has a huge impact), their overall mental health, and their care inbetween that time. Nothing is written in stone........in the end all we can do is to take one day at a time. Blessings for your family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tlcmom Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 My mom was diagnosed 3-4 years ago with lung cancer. Her doctor told her she had about 6 months, and that there wasn't really anything they could do. About 3 months into the 6 month period she switched doctors. The new doctor removed half her lung. She didn't have radiation or chemotherapy afterwards like most would since she has other health issues. Anyway, she is alive and doing well still today. We are so thankful that she switched doctors and that God spared her for now. I am sorry that you are having to go through this with a loved one. Just remember that the doctor doesn't know for sure. Love her while you can! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 How does a doctor make such a statement when the cancers have only been found in the past week? How can they predict how fast they will grow? Two weeks to two months? How can he know that? is not the arbiter of life and death. He could be right - if he has a lot of experience and training, but even then there is no way of giving a time line like that. I don't know why it's done. It should be enough to know that you are likely terminally ill, the rest is up to God IMHO. Whatever is in store for you Grandma, I pray she is not suffering or if she is that she can be made comfortable - and if she is to live, she will. When I faced this time, I wanted to know that everyone would be okay without me if I had to "go". You are obviously a wonderful granddaughter and your support will help her tremendously. However bad the diagnosis is, don't forget to laugh with her now and then. Praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michele in New Zealand Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Crissy, I just want to say how sorry I am to hear what this Dr has said. Just because he said it however, doesn't make it true or untrue. Enjoy each moment with your Grandma, if it is a few weeks, months or longer, it is all very precious. Michele~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Did your GM ask for a time frame? Most docs dread this one. I try to qualify it, e.g. "your liver function is certainly limited, and an infection could overwhelm you quickly, but if you stay clean and sober we can hope for a longer period of stability". If your GM didn't ask for a time frame I, personally, don't bring this up. People handle info better when they are ready. OTOH, I had a patient the other day who told the radiation oncologist that "she'd think about" what do about the tumor in her spine and "get back to him" in two weeks. He said bluntly, you won't be walking in two weeks, and he was right. It would have been wrong to have not given her this info, even though she wasn't asking. Lab tests that show significant depression of the cell lines (red cells, white cells, platelets) from the cancer, or CTs that show large "tumor burden", especially with metastasis to the lungs and the possible fluid build up (effusion) in them can point to a short course of illness. It is possible, as well, that this doc has been "burned" by angry families that say things like "why didn't they TELL us this would be so quick, Aunt Jo would have come and we would have moved up the wedding" etc etc. IME, people who out live your prediction are usually a bit puffed up with pride at "cheating" the docs, and those that die very quickly have more upset families. "Why didn't you tell us?" Tumors can cause clots and we just can't predict the sudden stroke due to them. Sometimes families hear that, sometimes they don't. Either you got an oncologist in the wrong job (not personally right for it) or he/she correctly or incorrectly sensed from the situation that this bluntness was needed. Hard to tell, and here's hoping you don't have other people in the family who need to see an oncologist! I hope you are able to use this time to be close and caring to GM. It is a very special intimacy to walk this last path with someone. If you have any general questions about words or meds or procedures, email me. I am accustomed to translating medicalese, and so many people hear what a doc says and don't think of their questions until they get home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pster Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I realize that must have been really hard to hear but, like the others have said, he doesn't really know exactly. Anything can happen. He is just making an educated guess based on experience. You guys are in my prayers. I know it is hard. Enjoy your time with her and "love on her"! (((Crissy))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother and her cancer. It is shocking indeed to hear this kind of news. How does the oncologist know this? Experience. I think exact predictions of life expectancy are ridiculous but perhaps the message was meant to be-get your affairs in order. He probably means he doesn't think she has long to live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 The oncologist just read off the report, told him he had metastatic cancer, and that all they could do would be to manage the symptoms. He has since (yesterday) gotten a second opinion. This new doctor is an expert at a major cancer center. The new guy thinks my FIL's case is not nearly as bad as the scans indicate, in fact, he says he never makes diagnoses or treatment decisions based on scans alone, that scans in the elderly (FIL is 85) show all kinds of junk. Anyway, I would urge anyone with a cancer diagnosis to get a second opinion. I also just recently read a book that is excellent for this sort of situation. It's called What You Don't Know Can Kill You by Laura Nathanson. I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother's diagnosis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 He gave her a life expectancy of two weeks to two months. Oh, Crissy. Ouch! Like the others, I'm mostly here to tell you that I'm sorry, that I know it's hard, that hearing that must've felt like you'd been hit by a train. Based on my brother's issues (CML and prostate cancer), it seems that doctors make a diagnosis/prognosis based on what they know in comparison to other cases of similar magnitude and type. But, as you know intuitively and from others here, there is no black and white. Please know that I am holding you in my heart here -- you and your g'ma. ((((Crissy)))) Doran Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdWTMer Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I'm so very sorry that the message was so blunt. :( I'm so sorry that you and your family are having to go through this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 My heart goes out to you. We have been there as well. Like others said before, the docs are making a best guess based upon their experience. Most docs will also admit that they can be proven wrong, that the estimate is just that, an estimate. About 13 years ago, my dad was diagnosed with liver and pancreatic cancer. After significant testing, they gave him 3 - 6 months to live. He did "try" chemo to see if they could give him more time. Well, he tolerated it is so well that he had weekly treatments for the rest of his life and slowed the progression of the disease that he lived for another 3 1/2 years. The doctors were amazed at how well he was doing. Around the same time, his BIL was diagnosed with the same type of cancer. BIL chose not to do chemo and died 3 months later. My dad worked hard in the beginning to get his affairs in order and make sure that my mom was well taken care of. When that was done, he went about living his life. One thing my dad's oncologist recommended was that he get a 2nd opinion from a major cancer center, with the caution that they will probably have a similar opinion. Dad chose to forgo it. Based upon what I am hearing about some cancer centers, I would recommend getting a 2nd opinion. That would depend on how strong one's will to live may be. You will be in our prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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