Dave Ramsey Question

[Aubrey]

I'm thinking about registering for the seminar, but I wonder if

 

a) it's just another thing to spend $ on, lol

 

b) it's relevant w/out a job & while in school

 

c) the price is right (the website mentioned price fluctuations--otoh, if it's that good, you'd hate to waste time to save $20)

 

d) it's a good idea. I read Total $ Makeover, & *at that time,* we'd achieved the 1st 8 out of 10 steps (or so--I don't remember exactly), & there were things about the book I didn't like. The cash-only suggestion seemed like a bad idea because dh is one of those forgetful-professor types, kwim? And I figured we'd be more likely to have overdraft fees than pay interest on the cc. (We were paying everything w/ the cc & paying it off in full ea month.)

 

However, some recent discussions have led me to believe that dh & I have some fundamental differences in perspective w/ regard to $, mainly because I've encountered a TEENY bit of this kind of information in churches growing up (my parents were so poor, I'd never heard of investing, life ins, etc until after dh & I were married--still don't know much about that; dh's parents do all that stuff but don't talk about it, so dh knows less than me).

 

We were talking the other night, & I said something about saving for retirement. Everybody knows you're supposed to eventually, some how. But when I put the #s on paper, it seemed to bring us onto the same page, if that makes sense. I'd like more of being on the same page. And less of the feeling of free falling. I mean, it's a great ride as long as it's a short one. EEEEEeeeeeeeeeekkkkkk. :blink:

[brehon]

Hmmm...I've never taken a seminar (is this the FPU course?). The county I work for offered an FPU class, but I was unable to take it because of a prior commitment on that day.

 

Anywho, dh and I read TMM and have been applying those principles/following the baby steps. We've been doing quite well without the class, but who's to say we couldn't do better? We've been cash only for a little over a year and haven't had any problem with overdrafts. It helps that we generally pay with *cash* and don't write checks, except for groceries. We don't use a physical envelope system, but do allot ourselves a certain amount of cash. When it's gone, we don't buy. I pay bills on-line.

 

You mentioned that because of your recent calculations you and your dh are more in tune with each other. Is this in regards to all your finances? Or just retirement? Have you resolved whatever your fundamental differences are? This, I think, really needs to be the first step in whatever program/budget you follow. Dh and I spent a week or two really hashing out our differences with regards to how we wanted/needed to manage our finances. It wasn't...pleasant a couple of times, but now we're truly on the same page.

 

Has your dh read TMM? Did he like the idea? I really can't answer your question about whether or not you should take the seminar. I know that the recent FPU class my employer put on really stressed that both spouses needed to take it together. I think a lot of the information in TMM (and, presumably, in the seminar) would be relevant because you're still trying to live within your means, pay off debt, build savings, whatever your goals are.

 

This rambling probably didn't help you very much, huh? I really think that you and your dh need to decide together how to handle your family's finances and stick to it. I also think DR is as good a program as any to keep you on track and assist you with your goals. Do you think your dh would do better now that he's gluten/dairy free? I mention this only because you said in another thread that you've noticed an improvement in his concentration/focus ability. And, I do understand about the free falling feeling. My take is that it isn't the free fall that's the problem; it's the sudden deceleration at the end. :lol:

[Aubrey]

You mentioned that because of your recent calculations you and your dh are more in tune with each other. Is this in regards to all your finances? Or just retirement? Have you resolved whatever your fundamental differences are?

 

LOL--No, I just mean his jaw hit the floor when he saw the figure that we need to be *saving* per yr, not incl paying off debt or actually living. He's an idealist who has come to value money later in life, lol. By difference of opinion I really meant that I had one & he didn't.

 

This, I think, really needs to be the first step in whatever program/budget you follow. Dh and I spent a week or two really hashing out our differences with regards to how we wanted/needed to manage our finances. It wasn't...pleasant a couple of times, but now we're truly on the same page.

 

He shuts down & gets to where he can't talk about it any more. Tonight when I asked when he'd feel comfortable talking about $ again (after talking about it for a couple of hrs last night), he suggested we wait a week. The way our situation is right now, I feel like we lost one of our kids at the grocery store, & he wants to wait a week before calling the police.

 

Has your dh read TMM?

 

We read it together.

 

Did he like the idea?

 

Parts.

 

I really can't answer your question about whether or not you should take the seminar. I know that the recent FPU class my employer put on really stressed that both spouses needed to take it together.

 

He's open to it, but the 13 week commitment intimidates us both.

 

I think a lot of the information in TMM (and, presumably, in the seminar) would be relevant because you're still trying to live within your means, pay off debt, build savings, whatever your goals are.

 

This rambling probably didn't help you very much, huh? I really think that you and your dh need to decide together how to handle your family's finances and stick to it.

 

LOL--oh, sorry. You weren't joking. ;)

 

I also think DR is as good a program as any to keep you on track and assist you with your goals. Do you think your dh would do better now that he's gluten/dairy free?

 

<sigh> I don't know. I've noticed some improvements in some areas, but as far as ability to concentrate, prioritize, etc., he's right now having the most trouble w/ this aspect of himself that I've ever seen him have. I assume it's...stress. I think...he's *beginning* to see time passing & such. So, theoretically, we're on the verge of change. But you know, I've noticed, other people don't jump off of cliffs the way I do. They like to think about things for. ev. er. I can't order at a drive-thru, but major life decisions? No problem! :lol:

 

I mention this only because you said in another thread that you've noticed an improvement in his concentration/focus ability. And, I do understand about the free falling feeling. My take is that it isn't the free fall that's the problem; it's the sudden deceleration at the end. :lol:

 

Thanks!

[Carol in Cal.]

It is called "Your Money or Your Life" and it is about developing a financial independence mindset. It is hands down the best, most inspiring book about personal finances that I have ever read.

 

Please, before you spring for that class, read this book.

[Katrina]

I saw a partial tape of a DR seminar and from what I saw he's a pretty entertaining public speaker.

 

I think if your dh and you decide to go and it inspires you to communicate more and helps you along your financial journey then go for it. But, who knows if that's what will happen until you've already spent the money and attended. :glare:

[Aubrey]

It is called "Your Money or Your Life" and it is about developing a financial independence mindset. It is hands down the best, most inspiring book about personal finances that I have ever read.

 

Please, before you spring for that class, read this book.

 

My only concern w/ a book is that dh is the deeply thoughtful type who will take literally 3 years to read a book like that. Because, you know, he wants to be thorough. :lol:

[Carol in Cal.]

My only concern w/ a book is that dh is the deeply thoughtful type who will take literally 3 years to read a book like that. Because, you know, he wants to be thorough. :lol:

 

Well, seriously, there is a lot to the book, but it's not really very long.

 

What I like best about it is that it makes you feel very, very empowered by being frugal, rather than very, very deprived.

[Aubrey]

Well, seriously, there is a lot to the book, but it's not really very long.

 

What I like best about it is that it makes you feel very, very empowered by being frugal, rather than very, very deprived.

 

I'll see about getting it from the library before we make a decision about DR, but I"m not making up his thoroughness w/ practical books. We've tried reading through marriage-counseling type books together & gotten a lot out of them & even finished one.

 

We've been married 9 years. That's a long time for just one book. ;)

[SherryTX]

It is called "Your Money or Your Life" and it is about developing a financial independence mindset. It is hands down the best, most inspiring book about personal finances that I have ever read.

 

Please, before you spring for that class, read this book.

 

I have to second this. An excellent book about understanding the role of money in your life, and changing attitudes about money.

 

By the way - here is a wonderful site I highly recommend called "Get Rich Slowly" http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/

 

I haven't participated in any of Dave Ramsey's seminars, nor read his books, but I have read a bunch on his website. I agree with him on several things (I think the whole "Act your wage" idea is something a lot of people forget). One thing I do disagree with is totally not using credit cards. I think for some people that really has mastered on managing them (paying them off at the end of each month etc.) it is totally appropriate. For others, it may not be. I think each person/couple have to decide on based on their ability to be careful with it.

 

I find it overwhelming when I use retirement calculators, etc., as well. However, you have to keep in mind that these are general numbers, and don't have to be the reality for everyone.

 

My plan is to "retire" into another career, so that by the time we are ready to retire, my husband and I will work part time as well please, and still have a small income in addition to retirement savings.

[jananc]

Is he thorough in completing homework assignments? If he is, that might help him get through the book faster, because certain chapters are assigned each week. We've just started the FPU seminar (2 weeks in) and DR's talks really are motivating and inspiring. He's a great public speaker, and you do get excited about following the program when you have him cheering you on.

[Momofeat]

My dh & I recently went through FPU and loved it.

 

I think the main advantage of the class is that there is accountability. My dh & I talked about working a budget for years, but he wasn't motivated to really do it until he had to face the members of our small group.

 

We plan to actually go through it again in a few months, just to keep us on track.

 

I have heard that fees can be waived for those who really can't afford it, but I do not know if that is true or not.

[Closeacademy]

We're not really group type of people and my dh works nights so we bought the DVDs of the FPU. It was awesome and so much better than the book. We knew the information in the book but after watching the DVDs we really understood how to apply it. I've heard that doing the seminar with a group can be great because you get ideas from other people.

 

We got the DVDs in January and read the book back in November. We already had step 1 and are working on step 2.

 

For us, the class was motivating and the budget meetings we have are enlightening. Using the envelope system is great. When I need money for something that is not groceries or a regular bill, I look in that envelope.

 

For example: I usually "borrow" from here and there to buy curriculum every year. This year I have actually been able to buy some of the stuff we really want and need because the money is there in the envelope. I know exactly how much money I have for homeschooling all the time.

 

Dave Ramsey's course and budget really keeps us talking about our money and how we want to use it. It keeps us on the same page and we are actually using our money the way we want to instead of blowing it on stupid stuff like non-essential grocery store trips or toys for the kids.

 

Good luck and I hope you find your inspiration in managing your finances.:001_smile:

[Granny_Weatherwax]

You could always call Dave Ramsey on his radio show and ask him what he thinks you should do. You might be surprised by his response. There are many times when he tells couples not to do FPU until they have completed at least baby step one or he gives them free tickets to a local event.

 

You can email DR as well. Here's the link to his website: http://www.daveramsey.com/

 

I can share with you that DR will tell you not to worry about saving for retirement until you are debt free and have your 3-6 months of emergency savings in the bank.

[Guest Katia]

I can share with you that DR will tell you not to worry about saving for retirement until you are debt free and have your 3-6 months of emergency savings in the bank.

 

This made me giggle when I read it. :D Sorry, I know that in most cases DR will say that.....I've read the book, etc......but honestly, my dh is 53 yrs old. Including his grad school loans, I suspect we have about 60K of debt right now. So.....after paying that off and after saving for 3-6 months of emergency funds......dh will be past retirement age LOL! :lol: That just doesn't strike me as a good time to start saving for retirement, kwim?

 

So, in our situation, we've decided to make retirement a priority instead of the 3-6 mo. emergency fund.

 

Aubrey, I think you have to do what works for you. I would say, from what you have written, "take the class!" Unfortunately, I have a dh that is very much the same as yours in terms of denial and not seeing time passing. Hence the fact that he is 53 and just NOW seeing that maybe a retirement fund might be a good idea......sigh. I begged him for years and years when the dc were younger to move somewhere else since the uber-small church we are has nothing for children or youth.....and now, 10 years later when one dc has graduated college, one is in college and the youngest is in 11th grade.....he is just NOW beginning to realize that I wasn't being a gritchy wife and complaining all those years, but that I had a solid point....(I'll leave out the details of 'why' he is now realizing it, but it's heartbreaking and you can't turn back the clock. Their childhood is gone.)

 

Yep, some men are simply in denial all.the.time. and really don't seem to understand the passage of time. Make that 13 week commitment and make him go and get him on board. Sometimes, with some men, it's the only way to alter your life for the better.

[KidsHappen]

Aubrey,

 

DR offers a FP course on DVD that is probably cheaper than a class. All o fthe teens and my hubby have watched an raved about it. It comes with a workbook as well. My 17 year old is constantly giving me financial advice that starts with, Dave Ramsey says. She obviously got something out of it though as she has saved about $2500 in the last year and she doesn't even have a job. SHe has a five year plan, a ten years plan and a life long plan all of which seem visable.

 

My hubby and I however are not in such great shape. We owe on our house, car and student loans. We also owe a small amount on a loan we had to take to pay for my dm's funeral (she wasn't insured, she was young and this was totally unexpected.) We still have four children at home that we intend to help with as much college costs as we can. We are mid to upper 40s and our youngest is 9 so by the time they are all off to college we will be within ten years of retirement.

 

If we are lucky, at that time we will have the car paid off, and have made a serious dent in student loans and mortgage and have managed to get the kids through school without any additional debt. WE should have an emergency fund and we do have insurance, but we will have nothing saved for retirement. Our plan is for me to go back to work and my hubby to continue working and then bank as much as our income as possible. We will also both be doing writing on the side and hopefully something will come of that. ANd finally we will have some 401K provided of course that the stock market doesn't totally crash. It is basically a house of cards approach but it is the best we can do at this late point in our lives with some many young children still.

 

Realistically, you have to figure out where you are and where you need to go and how you can possibly get there. Very few people can do it accordning to some ideal plan. Good luck as you try to work out your plan.