mamapjama Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 This is the one time of year that makes me feel like we are out of touch with other children :( I try to keep my 6 year old connected with others but we have to travel 30 minutes at least to meet up with other homeschooled children. He takes part in lots of programs but they just don't allow for lots of actual interaction between the kids. The children in particular that are his own age are themselves travelling a similar distance in the opposite direction, making a house visit at least an hour's trip each way. He takes part in summer soccer but most of the kids this year were younger than he was and again there just wasn't the chance to really play and get to know each other. So now we are planning for his birthday party - which he has requested. From the children that came last year, one has moved and one is unable to attend. That leaves two guests. When he has been invited to the parties of those children that of course had invited half of their classes to the party. I know this is more my discomfort with it than his. He just wants to play. He doesn't even want gifts, he told me last night he wants to ask for money to go to Cancer Research. With that in mind I was thinking that I could invite some other friends that he hasn't seen in quite a while as they wouldn't have to be buying a gift for someone they don't see often. I have asked him if he would rather a family activity in town like rock climbing etc. We could take one child with us if he wanted. Reading this over I know it sounds bad on my part. I just don't want him looked at as the poor homeschooled child who doesn't have any friends :( Anyone else in a similar situation and what have you done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 My daughter is about to turn 5. I feel bad that she really has no friends. We have her in church twice a week, she plays on a soccer team, she goes to speech class and there's another little girl in her class, and she goes to dance. She is sooooo shy that she will not talk to anyone. So we are inviting cousins. Of the 7 little girls that will be invited to her birthday party, there is one that is her age. My little girl is turning 5. The girls that are invited are 11, 11, 10, 9, 8, 4, and 2 (my other daughter). I feel so bad that she has no friends, but I dont know how I can help her. So yes, I feel your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 When I was growing up, we lived out in the country and birthdays were always just immediate family. We didn't have relatives that lived less than several hours away, and the school we attended was about 30 min. away too. I think budget had a lot to do with why we didn't invite friends from school. Anyway, it was just normal to me the way we did it--we got to pick what we wanted for birthday dinner, and pick the cake flavor and frosting (mom made our cake from boxed mix and homemade frosting). I did go to one or two birthday parties for friends at school, but it was very rare, and I didn't expect to have a birthday party myself. So far, with our kids, we're just having "just family" b-day parties, including relatives who live in the area. There hasn't yet been any discussion of inviting friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 And he's invited two boys. He did ask about a couple of others he knows through dance and in the neighborhood, but one is much younger and the other much older, and I just have a hunch they wouldn't all get along. (Not just because of the age thing, but personality-wise.) I do feel like every year we have to kind of scrouge for kids to invite. This year, I had this great idea: My son is in a model rocket club (mostly adults, but some families). They have a launch one Saturday morning each month. So, I thought it would be cool to invite a couple of friends and their families to join us for the launch. I'd bring cake and snacks, and invite the whole club to join in. That way, my son would have lots of people. Great idea, right? The only problem is that the fire index is too high, and they've scrubbed tomorrow's launch. So, we scrambled around yesterday (when we found out) and are paying a ridiculous amount of money to have the party at a trampoline place 30 miles from here. The basic party package includes up to 15 guests, but even counting families and ourselves we'll have just eight. But the place is cool and special, so I'm sure my son will have a good time. My daughter was always easier, because she rarely wanted a lot of people at her parties. Even when she was turning three, she asked to have just two kids and "some of her grown-up friends." But my son loves people, and I get stressed out every year when I know his birthday is coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Do you think he'd care if it's a small party? My 5 yr old has only had small parties and he's fine with it. So if it's not something that bothers him I'd say just do that. I also think the idea of taking 1 or 2 kids on a special outing is a good one. If you do think he'll feel bad because of few guests, that might be a good option. Another thought would be to have the party somewhere closer to where the other kids live...like maybe a park halfway in between. Maybe then you could have more kids come if that's important to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 (edited) That leaves two guests. When he has been invited to the parties of those children that of course had invited half of their classes to the party. I know this is more my discomfort with it than his. He just wants to play. I just don't want him looked at as the poor homeschooled child who doesn't have any friends :( Anyone else in a similar situation and what have you done? Maybe those two guests (and their parents!) will be relieved to go to a small party that's not reeling with 10 other 6 year olds! And if you act confident about it, and know that your ds just wants to play, the other kids and parents will catch on that he ISN'T the poor homeschooled child with no friends. He's just the child who is just enjoying his birthday with a couple of other kids and his family. This is how we've done it over the years - small gatherings with 1 to 3 other kids that my kids mesh well with. And I held off on "kid parties" as long as I could withstand the perceived outside pressure (some kids start at age 1 around here!!!). Ds had his first "kid party" at age 5, and it didn't go well. I said, "no way" to one at age 6. Then a reluctant yes at age 7. Since then, things have gotten a little easier, but only if we keep it small and simple. I live near you and I don't think your son is that "poor homeschooled child with no friends" if that helps any.:D He'll make his friends as he gets older. There is plenty of time for that later in life. I say keep it simple and let him enjoy relaxed playing on his birthday. Edited April 3, 2009 by Colleen in NS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 We're in the exact same boat. Worse is that I'd invite his soccer team or something but his birthday is during the off season. We took him to the aquarium in town and out to his favorite restaurant. He didn't mind but did miss his very best friend who moved away in December. My 8 yo's birthday is coming up and we're taking him mini golfing and out to dinner. He had a big party last year so I don't feel so badly about it. It's my 6yo that makes me sad. He just doesn't really have any friends but keeps insisting to ME that he's perfectly fine! *sob* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandamom Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I'm in the same situation -- except my kids have friends at school since they go to public school now -- and we'll not end up inviting any kids. My kids have "friends" at school but they are really acquaintances just like the "friends" my ds had when he was homeschooled. Just friendly enough to play with at a homeschool event but not friends enough that we got together outside of those activities. So, we'll enjoy our immediate family and a great celebration to welcome another year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I'm in the same boat here. This year, we invited one family over for a New Year's Eve sleepover for my son's 7th birthday party. His birthday is on New Year's Eve so part of his birthday is being allowed to stay up until midnight playing unlimited video games. He was fine even though he had no boys his age there; the family is 3 girls and an extremely young 5yo boy that he doesn't connect with. My daughter didn't get a party. Her birthday consisted of family bowing (1st time for the kids), dinner out, and getting her own room which still isn't ready more than two months later. Each year is a struggle, especially for my son who truly does not have any friends of his own. He plays with the girls that DD plays with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.