Michelle T Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 How do you deal with needing to use curriculum that is on a lower "grade level" than your child's actual age? Am I the only one who sometimes gets freaked out that she is using a 4th grade math book with a 12.5 year old DS, and he still struggles? Or that he absolutely cannot understand material in curriculum written for 5th graders? I know that I need to use what is developmentally right for my DS, I understand that he can only do what he can handle, KWIM? But I still get panicky inside sometimes, and I still often feel like a failure, like it's my fault, that DS is confused by curriculum waaaaaaaay below his age. He is the one who wants to use textbooks and workbooks, so I can't just easily cover things up by using only literature to teach. Michelle T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtsmamtj Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 I have tried really heard not to place importance on the number that might appear on the front of any text/workbook. My son has always been behind in all subjects except math. I also try hard not to discuss levels with other parents, just product information. I have found a few that "thrive" on comparing their children to others though - ugh!!! About two years ago we figured out what was going on with our son (9 at the time) and broke his weak areas down to the bottom reinforcing what he did know and moving up from there. We are still well below the average in writing, vocabulary, and reading comprehension, but making slow progress in the right direction. HTH T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 My ds uses 3B in Singapore math and he is nearing the end of 4th grade. I told him it was because he didn't pick up those concepts when we used another curriculum. He doesn't even question it anymore. Does your ds have a learning disability maybe? If he is confused by stuff wayyy younger than him, then maybe there is an actual issue there?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle T Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 My ds uses 3B in Singapore math and he is nearing the end of 4th grade. I told him it was because he didn't pick up those concepts when we used another curriculum. He doesn't even question it anymore. Does your ds have a learning disability maybe? If he is confused by stuff wayyy younger than him, then maybe there is an actual issue there?? He is ragingly ADHD, along with dyscalculia and dyspraxia. He is 12.5, his visual/spatial level was tested at around 5 year old level. He is quite immature, and a bit odd, too. So I know he has LD's, and that's why he struggles so much with learning, but I still get so discouraged when my 12.5 year old is bewildered by 4th grade material. Michelle T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niffercoo Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I just had to let it go, Michelle. It's been especially difficult for the last couple of years because Riley passed Austin up academically. And there's just nothing worse for a boy than having his little sister fly past him and understand things that he can't. I separated them out academically. The only thing we do as a family anymore is hymn study, nature study, composer study, and artist study. We also do Spanish together, but it's La Clase Divertida level 1 which is for K-6th. It just got too hard to watch him struggle, and for him to have to watch her get things so easily. As for me, I just let it go. In fact, it's been only a few months since I did, and it's still a work in progress. Over Christmas, I spoke to my mother (I'm an only child therefore these grandchildren are her only ones and she adores them) and told her than I can't see Austin going to college and I just wanted to prepare her for that. She said that she already knew that, and that she didn't want me to feel bad. That was huge, because my family has spoken many times of me "fixing" Austin and Reece by homeschooling them. It's really, really hard. Most of Austin's buddies have started algebra. Austin's still working his way through MUS Epsilon which is fractions. He's doing Jr. Analytical Grammar and we've been working on it for two years and aren't done yet, but he seems to be understanding what we have done, which I tell myself is the important thing. He is working on Year 3 in Writing With Ease, and it's really, really hard, but he's getting better at it. As you can see, I try not to use anything with him that has a grade designation. It would really affect him. I'm already feeling it with Reece. She'll be 7 in a few weeks, and she's still working through the 2nd set of Bob books. Her friends are reading chapter books. Her sister was reading Harry Potter 4 at this age. It can be crushing sometimes. And embarrassing. But it's their pace, their timing, so they can understand and learn. That's why they are home, after all. At least for my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I try not to compare dss with NT kids. My benchmark is what they would be doing if they went to public school. By THAT benchmark, they're lightyears ahead. Much as I'd like to, I can't wave my magic wand and cure autism. We have to work very hard to progress and every year seems to bring new, unexpected challenges. I don't know what the future holds, but neither does any other parent. You can do your parenting best and still have a teenager rebel or be killed in a car accident. That's got to be a lot harder than adjusting your expectations to a special needs kid's abilities. That's what I tell myself when I'm having a personal pity party, but YMMV and I know that it's a bit maudlin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmamainva Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I've had to put aside thoughts of 'grade levels' when it comes to my oldest son and focus on content. He'll be entering the 10th grade in the fall and here's what's on his agenda: Sonlight Core Alt 7 -- I chose this because he needed a world history program and this will cover basic world history, using A Child's History of the World and the Genevieve Foster books. The reading level will be just right for him. He couldn't handle high school level literature and history texts, but this will get the job done. Phonetic Zoo Spelling Level A -- my son has dyslexia and spelling is torture for him. He's plodding through this program and doing well with it, but his 9yo brother has already passed him. IEW Student Writing Intensive Level B -- again, he's already been passed by his younger brother, but this is the first writing program that has worked for him and he's pleased with it. Biology w/ Milliken Kingdom of Life Guides -- my son needs to take Biology, but every text I've seen is a 500+ page tome and that's just NOT going to work for him! His reading level just couldn't keep up. This is a series of 5 workbooks that cover each of the 5 Kingdoms in Biology. It should do the job nicely and he'll be taking Biology at the community college, some time in the future, when he's finished his studies at home. This will be sort of an 'introductory course' for him. Chalkdust Algebra I -- Chalkdust is working very well for my son because this series has a DVD lesson for every chapter with an instructor. The DVD person will repeat every lesson, a thousand times, if my son needs him to do so without complaint and it's working for him. Is it "where he should be in 10th grade?" No, but it's where my *son* should be in 10th grade! Visual Manna's Master Drawing -- ahhh! My son's best subject is art! It's "his thing" and he loves it. So the long and the short of it is that I ask myself, "What subjects do I need to cover? What learning style / approach does he need? What course will do the job, no matter what 'grade' it might be?" I hope this helps a little!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I've been pondering this this week too.... My 9.5yo is doing BJU Phonics 1 with Homesat - we have FINALLY gotten to a point where we can do a full "lesson" each day without meltdowns and overload. That right now includes, composition, phonics, handwriting & reading. The presentation of the class is just wonderful for her.... Never mind that she can't read silently - but hey, we will get there! LOL!! But i have 2nd grade sitting here - i expected to be done with 1st by now - and we aren't even close. I'm going to try to go thru it and see when it "overlaps" and we can move up to 2nd. We just started lesson 5 in MUS ALpha - but waiting means that the child that last year couldn't count past 10, has actually this week memorized her +1 facts!!!! I'm holding BACK my 4.5yo - she is ready to start the K programs i have recorded, but she would be too close to the 9yo. So i'm hoping to hold off till summer at least. I'll probably keep her in BJU math just so it's different than what the middle one is doing. ANyway, i feel your "pain" and have to accept that she is finally thriving on the mix we have now, and that she is actually learning is what is important. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laure Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Our dd8 has dyslexia and vision issues and struggles to remember phonics and math concepts, but she is improving and making some progress. She has never been on grade level. My favorite phrase is "There are no clocks in the garden." (Ester Rasband) I frequently think of this--everything does grow at its own pace. How fortunate our children are to have mothers who are willing to recognize this and not push them past their natural growth rate, search for the best curriculum to fit their needs, work with them one-on-one, etc. Where would they be if they did not have their moms to do this. Another good one is "By endurance, we conquer." (Ernest Shackleton) Keep at it. Laure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siloam Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 How do you deal with needing to use curriculum that is on a lower "grade level" than your child's actual age? Am I the only one who sometimes gets freaked out that she is using a 4th grade math book with a 12.5 year old DS, and he still struggles? Or that he absolutely cannot understand material in curriculum written for 5th graders? I know that I need to use what is developmentally right for my DS, I understand that he can only do what he can handle, KWIM? But I still get panicky inside sometimes, and I still often feel like a failure, like it's my fault, that DS is confused by curriculum waaaaaaaay below his age. He is the one who wants to use textbooks and workbooks, so I can't just easily cover things up by using only literature to teach. Michelle T Michelle, My philosophy has always been, better to be behind and master it than be left behind and never learn. In ps I have areas where I excelled and area where I couldn't keep up and was left behind. For example I passed my Senior English class by reading Roots for extra credit. Have you seen the size of that book? It brought me up a grade and a half if I remember right (and I still didn't get an A) :001_huh: On the other hand I used to purposly schedule my trig and cal classes at 8:00 in the morning because it didn't matter if I skipped them. I still got an A. :D I think you are doing a good job of making sure that no matter how far he goes (glass half full) that he really does have a grasp of the inforamtion. In ps I think he would be left in the dust. Especially because he is learning to deal with his own weakness and overcome them-attitude is everything. In other environments he might have already given up completely. (Dh has a brother who did.) Heather Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cillakat Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 How do you deal with needing to use curriculum that is on a lower "grade level" than your child's actual age? I just jump in and do it....trying not to think much of it. It's fairly important for us to have her working at or above grade level since she is exceedingly bright....so that is a goal for us. She's on par in math - finally.....and moving quickly now. She'll get there with reading (she's dyslexic) but writing will always be the bugaboo. We finally just got her her own computer with speech to text software to work around the handwriting difficulties. I guess for me, it would come down to what the child is *capable* of and working within that framework. :) K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangejello Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 How do you deal with needing to use curriculum that is on a lower "grade level" than your child's actual age? Am I the only one who sometimes gets freaked out that she is using a 4th grade math book with a 12.5 year old DS, and he still struggles? Or that he absolutely cannot understand material in curriculum written for 5th graders? I know that I need to use what is developmentally right for my DS, I understand that he can only do what he can handle, KWIM? But I still get panicky inside sometimes, and I still often feel like a failure, like it's my fault, that DS is confused by curriculum waaaaaaaay below his age. He is the one who wants to use textbooks and workbooks, so I can't just easily cover things up by using only literature to teach. Michelle T Hello Michelle T I was reading some of the earlier post from years back and i was just wondering during this time did you find anything that helped? Your story kinda reminds me of my ds who is now 11.5 years old and is learning disabled.(Born way early) He struggles mostly with math, lang arts and spelling. So I wanted to know did anything ever click for your child? Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsbaby Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 My dd is VERY academically delayed. She is 13 and we are still trying to get first grade math skills mastered. Her ds7 has long passed her up in every subject. I use different curriculum for them so that there is no comparing/competition. I stopped letting her academic level bother me. For me, any bit of progress is success....no matter how long it takes. If we are doing addition/subtraction for two more years before she is ready to move on, then so be it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serendipity Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 I agree with hsbaby. Progress is success!!! I can detect progress so I usually don't let it get me down. Keep on keeping on... Slow and steady wins the race... It's a marathon, not a sprint... :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Lea Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 If I use stuff that doesn't have *grade* levels on it. Really, my 16yo Aspie doesn't care, but my 12 1/2yo does. I honestly think it helps me sometimes too:) We've used stuff like AAS, Megawords, SOTW, Apologia Elem., CLP Nature Readers that have "volume" or "number" on it but not "grade" written on it. I've really pondered switching my 12 1/2yo ds' math because he is SO aware of the grade level on his TT math program. It *really* does not help his self-esteem. He's so eaily de-motivated by stuff like a grade level on a book:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paisley Hedgehog Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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