Peek a Boo Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 i know several of you had asked how it was going. i had shared in a previous post our situation: since that post back in June, fil has died, dh lost his job shortly thereafter, and our divorce was finalized Wednesday morning. i was just going to edit that post and bump it up, but it won't let me edit it for some reason...?? http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33489 dh is still unemployed and receiving minimal contract flights, but his dad's house should be closing next week and that will be a great shot in the arm to the bank account. we are not parading the divorce publicly and are still living as married. [see the thread above for the strange set-up]. Things have actually been going [pretty] great, but i want to see more than a 6 month change after living under the old one for 14 years. let's see how we're doing in another year and a half.... but like 3lilreds shared in the original PR, the change seems to have been a complete 180. well, ok, 175 ;) Now I wish I had filed 3 weeks after getting married......... more about that here: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showpost.php?p=514732&postcount=40 he's handling his dad's death almost too well. He mentioned in a talk [the night before the hearing] that he actually had a lot of stress removed when his dad died. That makes sense-- most of dh's issues were 'family of origin' type stuff, and his dad had been the biggest influence. I have to say i wasn't surprised at his statement. So now the biggest issue is to get him a [more regular] JOB! Let me know if any of you ladies or gentlemen have a private jet that needs a pilot ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn E Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Boy, I have missed a lot. So sorry, Peek a boo. :grouphug: No private jet here, but I will be praying for you and for him to find stable employment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 So sorry, Peek. That stinks. My dear friend's dh is a private pilot - there is just NOTHING here. I think he may be about to leave flying :( Hope something turns up soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 With the exception of your dh still being unemployed, the rest of the post almost sounds like good news. I hope everything works out how you want it to in the end. Prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Hang in there on the rest. Thanks for sharing an update, you are much cared about here. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Glad to hear so many positives.:001_smile: You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope to share some coffee with you again someday. :grouphug: K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon in SC Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 i know several of you had asked how it was going.i had shared in a previous post our situation: since that post back in June, fil has died, dh lost his job shortly thereafter, and our divorce was finalized Wednesday morning. i was just going to edit that post and bump it up, but it won't let me edit it for some reason...?? http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33489 dh is still unemployed and receiving minimal contract flights, but his dad's house should be closing next week and that will be a great shot in the arm to the bank account. we are not parading the divorce publicly and are still living as married. [see the thread above for the strange set-up]. Things have actually been going [pretty] great, but i want to see more than a 6 month change after living under the old one for 14 years. let's see how we're doing in another year and a half.... but like 3lilreds shared in the original PR, the change seems to have been a complete 180. well, ok, 175 ;) Now I wish I had filed 3 weeks after getting married......... more about that here: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showpost.php?p=514732&postcount=40 he's handling his dad's death almost too well. He mentioned in a talk [the night before the hearing] that he actually had a lot of stress removed when his dad died. That makes sense-- most of dh's issues were 'family of origin' type stuff, and his dad had been the biggest influence. I have to say i wasn't surprised at his statement. So now the biggest issue is to get him a [more regular] JOB! Let me know if any of you ladies or gentlemen have a private jet that needs a pilot ;) Peek, thanks for "keeping it real"! Many blessings to you on all fronts of your homelife!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelda Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 :grouphug: from me too. You are a strong woman to insist on changes you know need to be made, yet also allow so much space for saving your relationship. Thanks for letting us know how you're doing. I was actually thinking about you the other day, wondering how it was going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamnkats Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Let me know if any of you ladies or gentlemen have a private jet that needs a pilot ;) Down here there are many who would pay him a pretty peso to fly. I wouldn't recommend the work, however. IYKWIM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anissarobert Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Thanks for the update. I'm glad some things are going better. My dh is out of work too. We can think good thoughts for each other! Too bad I don't exactly travel in the circles that have private jets so I can put in a good word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 Down here there are many who would pay him a pretty peso to fly. I wouldn't recommend the work, however. IYKWIM. Thanks everyone; and yeah- there's a lot of money to be had if you are willing to fly out of India or the Middle East. we're not that desperate ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddhabelly Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Our divorce was finalized Wednesday morning. his dad's house should be closing next week and that will be a great shot in the arm to the bank account. I am asking this VERY respectfully, so please don't insert a snotty tone where none is intended. Since you are legally divorced, how do you support yourself? What is your source of income? The sale of his father's house will do great things for his bank account, but what about yours? I'm just wondering, since courts do not order divorces if they are financially inequitable. Did you tell the court that you would be obtaining full-time work? I'm just curious, so if this makes you feel defensive, you don't need to answer. I used to work in the court system with divorce/dissolution/child support/domestic violence (fun stuff!), so my curiosity is piqued. Julie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 I am asking this VERY respectfully, so please don't insert a snotty tone where none is intended. Since you are legally divorced, how do you support yourself? What is your source of income? The sale of his father's house will do great things for his bank account, but what about yours? I'm just wondering, since courts do not order divorces if they are financially inequitable. Did you tell the court that you would be obtaining full-time work? I'm just curious, so if this makes you feel defensive, you don't need to answer. I used to work in the court system with divorce/dissolution/child support/domestic violence (fun stuff!), so my curiosity is piqued. Julie no snottiness required :) Literally nothing has changed except I have a separate bank account for funneling child support [for 5 kids]. well, and his entire demeanor since filing .... I am still a SAHM. The court did not require an explanation- it was an agreed, uncontested settlement. We are both on 'his' bank account. He doesn't want me to have to work and prefers I am able to stay home w/ the kids. i set the child support at the same amount as our current mortgage. Whether he's working regularly or not, i know he'll make sure we have at least that amount every month. As long as peace prevails, the money goes from his account to my account to the mortgage. Worst case, I keep the money and split. Or if the mortgage has been paid that month, just split. he got the house [and the accompanying debt] in the divorce and i left out geographic restrictions for where I could take the kids. I would be absolutely comfortable going to my dad's or brother's [out of state]if i needed to. However, he has stated repeatedly that even tho he gets the house, he would rather move out if need be so the kids aren't yanked around. ask me again how things are going in a couple years..... hope that helps-- maybe we just got lucky and got a judge that's just glad to see we're doing stuff in the children's best interests w/o the nitpicky fighting.... ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedfamily Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Much luv Peek. :grouphug: Much luv. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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