The phrase "best friends"

[Ting Tang]

I haven't been on a whole lot with my father's recent passing, but I'm back to thinking about trivial things for a while.

How do you handle when your homeschooled kid thinks someone is their best friend, but that child has a whole other life at a brick-and-mortar school, is involved in multiple activities, and the parent even references that child having a "best friend" to you?  My daughter met this little girl through her sport, and they will be performing a routine this year together in competition.  I think they are two peas in a pod, but there is also another little girl who is the third pea in the pod, lol.  They all just get along really well.  I just don't want these phrases to hurt anyone's feelings, so I think I should tell my daughter to be careful using it, too.  They are 8 and 9 year olds.  

[HomeAgain]

I don't know if it's worth analyzing too deeply.  I had a childhood that was compartmentalized.  I had a best friend at school.  I had a best friend in my neighborhood(where none of the children went to the same school as me).  I had a best friend who lived across from my other best friend, but he was a boy.

Kids relationships are so fluid, and so 'community oriented' that it's not difficult to have a best friend in each place they go to.  My own children have done the same to a degree, but I set down ground rules for them of keeping their groups separate.  You don't invite your friends from book club to a party with your baseball friends.  Don't overlap unless your guests all know each other and can be comfortable together.  Beyond that, I don't worry.

[regentrude]

Someone can be MY best friend even if I'm not THEIR best friend.

[TechWife]

I wouldn’t worry about it. Just let her friendships develop as they will and she will learn about friendship & grow along with them.

[Murphy101]

I have 4 best friends.  They are all very different from each other and would likely have never met if not via me.  

There’s not a limit to how many besties someone can have.

 

[KungFuPanda]

Best friend is a tier, not a person ~Mindy Kaling 

🤣

[catz]

Are you concerned about her calling girl A "best friend" in front of girl B? 

I actually think starting conversations early about empathy and using inclusive language when speaking with a group is a good idea.  Like if Suzie and Jane are invited to your birthday party and you are in an acitiviy with a bunch of other kids, you don't talk about your birthday party there.  And Jane isn't going to feel very good if you go into a solliquy about Suzie being your BFF all the time.  I didn't force conversations like this, but I would bring them up later from snippets of overheard conversation.  

I am amazed how rude teens and young adults can be wrt .  And adults can be this way.  I remember hosting a homeschool event AT MY HOUSE.  And 2 moms are sitting in my living room making exclusive plans with each other in front of a bunch of othe rmoms.  What?  Nothing wrong with making private plans or having a bff.  It's not polite to drone on about them in front of the not included in your inner circle.  

Or are you more concerned about your daughter thinking this is a BFF and it not being reciprocol.  Because I wouldn't worry about that too much.  My kids had friends in silos at different activities too.  A lot of them attend B&M schools.  

[Ting Tang]

1 hour ago, catz said:

Are you concerned about her calling girl A "best friend" in front of girl B? 

I actually think starting conversations early about empathy and using inclusive language when speaking with a group is a good idea.  Like if Suzie and Jane are invited to your birthday party and you are in an acitiviy with a bunch of other kids, you don't talk about your birthday party there.  And Jane isn't going to feel very good if you go into a solliquy about Suzie being your BFF all the time.  I didn't force conversations like this, but I would bring them up later from snippets of overheard conversation.  

I am amazed how rude teens and young adults can be wrt .  And adults can be this way.  I remember hosting a homeschool event AT MY HOUSE.  And 2 moms are sitting in my living room making exclusive plans with each other in front of a bunch of othe rmoms.  What?  Nothing wrong with making private plans or having a bff.  It's not polite to drone on about them in front of the not included in your inner circle.  

Or are you more concerned about your daughter thinking this is a BFF and it not being reciprocol.  Because I wouldn't worry about that too much.  My kids had friends in silos at different activities too.  A lot of them attend B&M schools.  

Both. And she was invited to this little girl’s birthday party, so I worry she might feel bad. But it is hard to imagine that language used in a group, too. That’s crazy about those adults in your home!