As petty as this is, needing your support and advice

[plain jane]

Some of you may remember many months ago when I posted about my biggest fear. Well today it is coming through.:tongue_smilie: I am hopelessly afraid of vomitting. Yes, I understand NOBODY likes to puke, but I am deathly afraid of it.:001_huh: The kind of fear that makes my heart race and my body break out in cold sweat. I'm serious; I have no control over it. One poster was kind enough to remind me of the name: emetophobia.

 

So last night one of my dc starts getting sick. It's 9 days until Christmas and I don't know what to do. My kids always seem to puke at Christmas. It breaks my heart that all my holiday memories of the littles is of buckets and bleach.:tongue_smilie: Have I mentioned how afraid I am of this??

 

What do I do with the healthy ones? I actually have the luxury of having a relative in town for the holidays so I could have them come and watch the healthy ones and keep them playing in the basement for the next 3-5 days. This would allow me to look after the sick one and sanitize as needed. It's nice in the basement so it's not like it would be a huge punishment but I'm not sure it's the best idea. I'm concerned that even if I quarantine the sick one and bring the rest "back" after she's been better for long enough and all the toys have been sanitized that the rest will find a way to catch the bug anyways. I'd hate to just prolong this. On the other hand, it freaks me right out to think that I should intentionally expose the rest of them. The bright side of that is that I can count on them being sick by Friday and hopefully over the worst of it by early next week. Even if I did do this, I think I would still keep the baby away. Thing is, one of my dc has never had the stomach flu and I just know we'll be in for a doozy the first time around.

 

I just can't bring myself to let the rest of the kids come back upstairs. I know this is all so very petty to most of you. The stomach flu is a fact of life. I don't know why I am so deathly afraid of it, it isn't something that I would've chosen to be afraid of, trust me. But I am panicing here. I'm trying so hard to :chillpill: but this is a fear I have not been able to conquer.

 

If the rest get sick, I'll need dh to stay home from work which, depending on the timing, may put him in a not very favourable position at work. If they get sick late this week then we have the weekend to deal with it together. But, he's got his big company Christmas party this weekend and he was supposed to go out of town and meet and schmooze with the new VP and upper management. He's up for a huge promotion and being there was important to him, though not imperative. I can't watch the dc by myself, even with the help of family. They don't know the kids that well and I can't ask them to hold buckets for them.:001_huh: Plus, the kids are little, and you all know how scared the little ones get. They just need their parents to comfort them. I also really need my dh to be here for me.

 

Dh wants me to keep the kids all separated. Perhaps I should just follow his wishes (since he's going to be dealing with most of the puke anyways:lol:) but I really don't want to hold off just to have everyone sick on Dec. 25. If they get sick early next week then that would mean that dh would have to take more time off because we won't have the weekend.

 

I know some of you will say just deal with it without dh, but please trust me when I say I can't. I have tried so many times to get over this fear. I can't. I need a calm voice of reason to tell me this will all be okay.:grouphug:

Edited December 16, 2008 by plain jane

[beansprouts]

It will be all right, Jane :grouphug:

 

While preparing for the homebirth of my ds, my midwife asked me about possible trauma that might affect me during the birth. Apparently many women become very uncomfortable and even fearful when they are not in control of their bodies. The midwife would try to accomodate them so they felt secure. I wonder if the vomiting fear is like this? Maybe there is something there that you need to find peace with.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Highereducation]

Jane,

 

My dd (8) suffers from the same thing (emetophobia).

 

We went through a really rough period a few years ago after she had a stomach virus. We even sought help for her but unfortunately it is one of, if not THE, hardest phobia to treat, because desensitization is virtually impossible.

 

Don't beat yourself up over it. You would be surprised how many people in the world suffer from the same thing, including a lot of well-known names.

 

Do what you have to do to get through it, try to minimize the spread of the virus, and hang in there!

 

My dd is the most loving, sweet little girl - but if dh or I get a stomach virus, she's out of there! She's gotten a little better with age, but it still seems she would rather face a pit of snakes than even the thought of vomiting.

 

I hope the virus passes quickly and that you're spared!

 

Kris

[Tree House Academy]

Wow. However, I can't judge because I have an irrational fear of illness and death (hypochondria along with OCD and anxiety). All I can offer are (((hugs))) and to say that it will definitely be okay!

[beansprouts]

 

My dd (8) suffers from the same thing (emetophobia).

 

 

I didn't realise this was an identified phobia. It is hard enough to be sick without the additional emotional turmoil. :sad:

[gardening momma]

I can't watch the dc by myself, even with the help of family. They don't know the kids that well and I can't ask them to hold buckets for them.:001_huh: Plus, the kids are little, and you all know how scared the little ones get. They just need their parents to comfort them. I also really need my dh to be here for me.

When I was young, the four of us kids all had chicken pox at the same time. We had a sofa bed in the living room, so mom had us all in the same bed together so it would be easier for her to take care of us. Do you have anything like that that you could use? Is there a double (or larger) bed in one of the bedrooms that you could put everyone in? Or put 2 kids in one room, and 2 in another?

[plain jane]

Jane,

 

My dd (8) suffers from the same thing (emetophobia).

 

We went through a really rough period a few years ago after she had a stomach virus. We even sought help for her but unfortunately it is one of, if not THE, hardest phobia to treat, because desensitization is virtually impossible.

 

Don't beat yourself up over it. You would be surprised how many people in the world suffer from the same thing, including a lot of well-known names.

 

Do what you have to do to get through it, try to minimize the spread of the virus, and hang in there!

 

My dd is the most loving, sweet little girl - but if dh or I get a stomach virus, she's out of there! She's gotten a little better with age, but it still seems she would rather face a pit of snakes than even the thought of vomiting.

 

I hope the virus passes quickly and that you're spared!

 

Kris

 

Thanks for the kind words, Kris. I had done a lot of reading about it in the past and was really discouraged because it is very hard to treat without medication. I figure it only happens a few times a year so decided to forego medication but at times like this I sometimes wish there was something that would make the panic go away.

 

I read somewhere that it is one of the most common, but least talked about fears. That must have been very rough dealing with your dd. :grouphug: It's one thing as an adult, but to have to deal with that as a young child. I really don't want to pass this fear on to my kids. So far, they are troopers about it, it's me who's the wimp.

 

It is interesting that desensitizing doesn't work for this. I read that too and was discouraged. You'd think after 4 pregnancies with bad morning sickness I'd be better able to deal with this.:001_huh: I am going to try to expose everyone today. Maybe it will be a big step for me towards getting over this. Or not.;)

[AnnetteB]

One of our dear nieces has an aversion to vomiting people. We all know what started it....Years ago her father had the girls for a weekend and on the drive from his home to their mother's her sister became carsick and "tossed her cookies." Rather than take the time to stop and clean it up, he drove all the way with the mess and smell suffocating them! Any hint that anyone will be ill and this adult woman is out of the room. After many years of exposure to us and our spitting babies (dealt with quick clean-ups) and she can take a little exposure without turning quite so pale. She will even hold a baby gingerly with a big receiving blanket to shield her.

 

You will get through this because you love your dc. It is rather hit-and-miss as to catching a bug or not. A nursing baby will often escape because they pick up some antibodies through the milk. I try to keep dh away from the sickies so that he has a chance of escaping altogether...he is such a big baby when he is ill :tongue_smilie:. I never ask anyone in to help. I spread bath towels over the dc's bed pillows and put a clean bowl beside them and keep the wash caught up. We just use soap and water to clean up...no bleach because of my asthma, especially when we are sick. Unless they are running a fever they wear a sweatshirt over their pjs and any dribbles can be rolled and whisked over their heads and a new clean shirt popped on. I do a lot of breath holding myself. Also, only tiny sips of clear fluids, NO colored jellos, yuck, and a very slow transition back to solid foods so that there is little risk of relapse. I hope there is something in here that is helpful to you.

:grouphug:

[plain jane]

It will be all right, Jane :grouphug:

 

While preparing for the homebirth of my ds, my midwife asked me about possible trauma that might affect me during the birth. Apparently many women become very uncomfortable and even fearful when they are not in control of their bodies. The midwife would try to accomodate them so they felt secure. I wonder if the vomiting fear is like this? Maybe there is something there that you need to find peace with.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I didn't realise this was an identified phobia. It is hard enough to be sick without the additional emotional turmoil. :sad:

 

Yah, apparently it's a common phobia. I hadn't heard of it until I read a newspaper article on the top 10 phobias and there it was! Ugh. I've done quite a bit of research and it's very hard to cure.

 

One thing it did say about this phobia is that it is usually caused by an overly traumatic experience at some point although not everyone will recall what it is. One of my earliest memories is of being just over 2, alone in a hotel bathroom and being sick into the tub. I was so scared and alone and my parents (who were in the bedroom) were not there for me. You're right. It likely has to do with not having control over my body or the kids'.

[Amy in TX]

I suffer from emetophobia too, although I only found out recently that it is an identified phobia. It is real, and I totally understand what you are going through, Jane! If any of my dc is even a little queasy, my heart starts pounding and I literally shake.

 

You just have to go through it, and I would do whatever possible to minimize the spread. I would try to keep sick & healthy apart, without ruining the fun for the healthy ones.

 

Can you, in general, educate yourself on strengthening everyone's immune systems, to minimize their likelihood of catching *any* viruses? This has been enormously helpful for my general stress level--making sure everyone gets plenty of exercise, plenty of sleep, and plenty of high-quality food (organic, whole foods). Consider vitamins and such supplements as fish oils and probiotics (supposed to be good for gut health). It may or may not reduce the number of stomach viruses in your home, but it can't hurt, and it makes me feel like I'm doing something proactive.

 

I wish I could take this fear away from both of us! You will survive, I promise. Try to maintain calm for the dc's sake. You're in my prayers today.

 

Amy :o)

[Tammyla]

Nobody likes dealing with it. :grouphug: Many of us gag our way through it and just do what we have to. I agree, you shouldn't beat yourself up over this.

 

Quarantine:confused:...Maybe just put the sick one in a separate bedroom and have everyone else use another bathroom. There is no guarantee either way. You may put them together and nobody else will get it or you could enact the strictest standards of sterilization and everyone could. Deal with it the best way you can. That's all anyone can do. :grouphug:

 

 

Coping ideas. Double sheet the beds with a towel layer between for quick clean up. Cover the pillow cases with a big towel.

Bucket lined with a thick plastic bag.

Gloves and a mask to deal with anything.

Edited December 16, 2008 by Tammyla

[coffeefreak]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

The Lord has been kind and my DH has always been able to stay home and help me when the kids are pukey sick. I never identified it as a phobia though. I have the issue because I WILL throw up just from the power of suggestion. Hopefully, this is happening this week so next week you will all be well and able to enjoy the holidays.

Blessings!

Dorinda

[Jenn in Mo]

I think you are safe to separate them. The bug shouldn't be able to survive very long on surfaces. Nurse the sick one through it and make sure the others are eating healthy with lots of vitamin C. Don't keep the house shut-up and warm. That's a breeding ground for viruses.

 

The only Jon & Kate I ever saw was of a stomach bug going through the house. Kate had them sleeping on pallets in front of the washing machine. Poor babies! Mine snuggle with me on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket with a big bowl beside us.

 

There is nothing petty about a sincere fear! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this!

[plain jane]

I suffer from emetophobia too, although I only found out recently that it is an identified phobia. It is real, and I totally understand what you are going through, Jane! If any of my dc is even a little queasy, my heart starts pounding and I literally shake.

 

You just have to go through it, and I would do whatever possible to minimize the spread. I would try to keep sick & healthy apart, without ruining the fun for the healthy ones.

 

Can you, in general, educate yourself on strengthening everyone's immune systems, to minimize their likelihood of catching *any* viruses? This has been enormously helpful for my general stress level--making sure everyone gets plenty of exercise, plenty of sleep, and plenty of high-quality food (organic, whole foods). Consider vitamins and such supplements as fish oils and probiotics (supposed to be good for gut health). It may or may not reduce the number of stomach viruses in your home, but it can't hurt, and it makes me feel like I'm doing something proactive.

 

I wish I could take this fear away from both of us! You will survive, I promise. Try to maintain calm for the dc's sake. You're in my prayers today.

 

Amy :o)

 

I do try to do all I can to boost the littles' immune systems. :sigh: I hate that I have this phobia. It's horrible and a lot of people think I'm looney. I know nobody LIKES puking. But I fear it. I'm literally paler than my dc is right now. :001_huh: It can be horrible and debilitating. I wish I could just go with the flow and react when it happens. It's a huge stress for me, knowing that the rest of the littles could have this next. And then it'll be my turn.:crying:

[plain jane]

The only Jon & Kate I ever saw was of a stomach bug going through the house. Kate had them sleeping on pallets in front of the washing machine. Poor babies!

 

:lol: Now why hadn't I thought of that?:001_huh: Funny thing is, I've never watched the show but caught a few minutes of it last night. All I could think of the entire 10 minutes was OMGosh what do they do if one of them gets the stomach flu.:tongue_smilie:

 

As for keeping the house sealed and warm, it's freezing out so I have no choice. I did put lavender and tea tree oil in my burner to clean the air a bit. I hope it works, but if it doesn't atleast it smells nice.:)

[Highereducation]

I do try to do all I can to boost the littles' immune systems. :sigh: I hate that I have this phobia. It's horrible and a lot of people think I'm looney. I know nobody LIKES puking. But I fear it. I'm literally paler than my dc is right now. :001_huh: It can be horrible and debilitating. I wish I could just go with the flow and react when it happens. It's a huge stress for me, knowing that the rest of the littles could have this next. And then it'll be my turn.:crying:

 

Jane, you'll be in my prayers. Having witnessed just how devastating this can be for dd, your description of how you're feeling is very familiar. Just don't be ashamed or blame yourself. It's the way you're hardwired, just like other people have a fear of heights or spiders.

[SapphireStitch]

I have this, too, maybe not as bad as you do...it's hard to know how bad it is for someone else. Both of my children have had hair-trigger gag reflexes until they got old enough to control it better...this means I have had to fear them vomiting when they have any kind of post-nasal drip from a cold or allergy.:glare:

 

I'm sure you've thought through all the practical issues...washing hands with paper towels, wiping every surface with Clorox wipes, using disposable things for cleanup as much as possible. If...oh I'll go ahead and say WHEN...my youngest pukes in bed I've found the best way to clean up is using massive handfuls of paper towels and shoving them right into a plastic bag. Then the bedding can go right into the washer with hot water and tons of detergent.

 

(DH can't help me with cleanup because he gags. He's not phobic, he's just no help!)

 

Mentally, the thing that helps me most with coping is to let my mind go ahead and imagine the worst it could possibly be. The ABSOLUTE worst. And then picture how I would deal with it. Somehow this gives me a TINY BIT more strength to deal with the fear.

 

I do this with my other fears, too. (I have some really irrational ones that could make me totally agoraphobic if I gave in to them.) It's not a perfect solution, but it helps. I also say to God "If you want this to happen to me, I know you will get me through it." Which is an improvement over how I coped as a kid...I used to sit in bed, clutching at my queasy stomach, making bargains with God. "Please, Lord, give me two weeks of fever instead! I'll take chicken pox again. I'll take a cough! Please just don't let me vomit."

[newlifemom]

 

Coping ideas. Double sheet the beds with a towel layer between for quick clean up. Cover the pillow cases with a big towel.

Bucket lined with a thick plastic bag.

Gloves and a mask to deal with anything.

 

:iagree:

 

Jane,

 

My twin brother died from Reye's Syndrome. He spent his last week alive puking everywhere. I have thrown up exactly once since then and it was beyond traumatic. I so get you. Dh takes care of most, but I have had to on occasion. Like my fear of spiders, God gives me the grace to deal with what I have to. If someone else is around the grace isn't there, but if it is just me, then it is. I will pray for that grace to be with you if you don't mind.