AP scores

[Sneezyone]

Just now, Not_a_Number said:

I'd teach average learners at home, too. But mostly because I'm not an average teacher 😉 . 

Uh huh. Lemme know when they reach puberty and adolescence. Raising cheerleaders isn’t like raising academically oriented kids.

[Not_a_Number]

1 minute ago, Sneezyone said:

Uh huh. Lemme know when they reach puberty and adolescence. Raising cheerleaders isn’t like raising academically oriented kids.

I know. It's not like I've never worked with average kids. If anything, they benefit MORE from good teaching than my gifted kids. My gifted kids can connect the dots by themselves. 

I'm not ruling out high school, though. But elementary school I'd do at home. 

Edited April 23, 2021 by Not_a_Number

[Sneezyone]

1 minute ago, Not_a_Number said:

I know. It's not like I've never worked with average kids. If anything, they benefit MORE from good teaching than my gifted kids. My gifted kids can connect the dots by themselves. 

It’s not just about the teaching. Best in one area like home teaching  presupposes there’s nothing lost in another. Preserving the parent/child relationship is important too.

Edited April 23, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Not_a_Number]

1 minute ago, Sneezyone said:

It’s not just about the teaching. Best in one area like home teaching  presupposes there’s nothing lost in another. Preserving the parent/child relationship is important too.

Well, obviously one would have to weigh the pros and cons. I'm sure that there are situations that I would send kids to school in. But I don't think I'd automatically send an average kid to school. 

Edited April 23, 2021 by Not_a_Number

[Not_a_Number]

2 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

It’s not just about the teaching. Best in one area like home teaching  presupposes there’s nothing lost in another. Preserving the parent/child relationship is important too.

What do you think is lost by teaching at home? 

[Sneezyone]

2 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

What do you think is lost by teaching at home? 

For my kid, relationship was lost at home. Relationship with her parents. She needed us to not be her instructors or accountability partners but her personal cheerleading bench. Different kids, different needs.

[Not_a_Number]

Just now, Sneezyone said:

For my kid, relationship was lost at home. Relationship with her parents. She needed us to not be her instructors or accountability partners but her personal cheerleading bench. Different kids, different needs.

No, I do get that. Homeschooling is hard on the relationship here, too. Sometimes, that's a tough trade-off. We've been working on that. 

Edited April 23, 2021 by Not_a_Number

[Roadrunner]

Homeschooling is great with a somewhat compliant kid. I don’t think it matters if a kid is gifted or average, but it matters that a kid is willing. 
But homeschooling isn’t a policy solution. 

[Not_a_Number]

2 minutes ago, Roadrunner said:

Homeschooling is great with a somewhat compliant kid. I don’t think it matters if a kid is gifted or average, but it matters that a kid is willing. 

Can I have a compliant kid, please? 😛  Pleeeaaaaaase? 😛 My older girl is the master of quiet resistance. 

Edited April 23, 2021 by Not_a_Number

[Roadrunner]

Just now, Not_a_Number said:

Can I have a compliant kid, please? 😛  Pleeeaaaaaase? 😛 My older girl is the master of quiet resistance. 

Well, now you know partly why one of my kids is going on the bus next year. If he is to come home, the compliance levels need to be up, way up! 

[Swimmer1112]

6 minutes ago, Roadrunner said:

Well, now you know partly why one of my kids is going on the bus next year. If he is to come home, the compliance levels need to be up, way up! 

My kids were more compliant in elementary school, we also sent my dd back to PS for high school. 

[Not_a_Number]

7 minutes ago, Roadrunner said:

Well, now you know partly why one of my kids is going on the bus next year. If he is to come home, the compliance levels need to be up, way up! 

Awww, I'm sorry! I very much sympathize. We've been troubleshooting this for a year now, with definite improvements, but we're absolutely not done. 

[Not_a_Number]

1 minute ago, Swimmer1112 said:

My kids were more compliant in elementary school, we also sent my dd back to PS for high school. 

Sounds nice 😛 . Gifted kids are apparently a pain in the neck. At least mine are. 

[Dmmetler]

1 hour ago, Sneezyone said:

Uh huh. Lemme know when they reach puberty and adolescence. Raising cheerleaders isn’t like raising academically oriented kids.

Uh, some cheerleaders are both-until a knee injury forced a break in fall of 2019 which has, so far, lasted two seasons,  I had a homeschooler in the middle school age division of competitive cheer and spending days taking college classes. And while finding a cheer match wasn't a priority in the college search, I suspect it's not coincidental that the final choice came down to the two schools on the list most likely to be a cheer match. 

 

I will admit that at age 11, it became imperative to find an academic peer group, which is why my kid started college the following semester-and why this past fall was miserable enough that we prioritized finding on campus classes for Spring, with good masks and a lot of prayer!

[Not_a_Number]

1 minute ago, Dmmetler said:

Uh, some cheerleaders are both-until a knee injury forced a break in fall of 2019 which has, so far, lasted two seasons,  I had a homeschooler in the middle school age division of competitive cheer and spending days taking college classes. And while finding a cheer match wasn't a priority in the college search, I suspect it's not coincidental that the final choice came down to the two schools on the list most likely to be a cheer match. 

 

I will admit that at age 11, it became imperative to find an academic peer group, which is why my kid started college the following semester-and why this past fall was miserable enough that we prioritized finding on campus classes for Spring, with good masks and a lot of prayer!

Yeah, that was a negative cheerleader stereotype, wasn't it?? Oops. I didn't even think about it, even though I knew that your daughter did cheer... 

DD8 is actually also really physically active (she loved gymnastics in the pre-pandemic days) and I can easily imagine her being into something like cheer. 

[Swimmer1112]

1 hour ago, Not_a_Number said:

Sounds nice 😛 . Gifted kids are apparently a pain in the neck. At least mine are. 

Actually my gifted kids were the compliant ones. My dd the “normal” one was the one that truly challenged us. She had a very strong personality, she was very difficult from a young age. I think it has more to do with personality than giftedness. 

[Sneezyone]

20 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

Yeah, that was a negative cheerleader stereotype, wasn't it?? Oops. I didn't even think about it, even though I knew that your daughter did cheer... 

DD8 is actually also really physically active (she loved gymnastics in the pre-pandemic days) and I can easily imagine her being into something like cheer. 

I wasn't pointing to the academic needs but the social ones. Most social people aren't also academically oriented. DD isn't a slouch, Trig isn't the norm for sophomores. She's just average for the high school she attends and below average for many of the parents who frequently post here. We're not loading up on APs or DE for EF reasons and I haven't chosen to ID my son.

Edited April 23, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Sneezyone]

Just now, Swimmer1112 said:

Actually my gifted kids were the compliant ones. My dd the “normal” one was the one that truly challenged us. She had a very strong personality, she was very difficult from a young age. I think it has more to do with personality than giftedness. 

This is the case at our house too. Our younger is the word boy.

[Swimmer1112]

1 minute ago, Sneezyone said:

I wasn't pointing to the academic needs but the social ones. Most social people aren't also academically oriented. DD isn't a slouch, Trig isn;t he norm for sophomores. She's just average for the high school she attends and below average for many of the parents who frequently post here. We're not loading up on APs.

So true, teens have so much more needs socially than younger ones. I noticed a big change in my kids when they reached the teen years. Social life took on more importance and also find them social opportunities.  

[Sneezyone]

3 minutes ago, Swimmer1112 said:

So true, teens have so much more needs socially than younger ones. I noticed a big change in my kids when they reached the teen years. Social life took on more importance and also find them social opportunities.  

She's the one that's been challenged the most by covid even with having friends overseas that she can talk to day/night, just very high need. The rest of us are introverts.

[Swimmer1112]

2 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

She's the one that's been challenged the most by covid even with having friends overseas that she can talk to day/night, just very high need. The rest of us are introverts.

Same with my dd, she is also the extrovert in family and covid hit her the hardest. I am so glad that things are finally opening up in CA. I think if covid went into the fall, she would have taken next year off of school.

[Sneezyone]

8 minutes ago, Swimmer1112 said:

Same with my dd, she is also the extrovert in family and covid hit her the hardest. I am so glad that things are finally opening up in CA. I think if covid went into the fall, she would have taken next year off of school.

Mine said the same thing. It should make for some very interesting essays for college admissions. Thousands of kids realizing their personality and learning strengths/weaknesses this way. As I sit here, I can hear her group chatting with her besties in Bahrain and Italy. 

Edited April 23, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Not_a_Number]

27 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

Most social people aren't also academically oriented.

I dunno about that. I think that's also a stereotype. DD5 is actually really, really social. DH is pretty social himself. I'm the introvert in the family. 

[Sneezyone]

14 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

I dunno about that. I think that's also a stereotype. DD5 is actually really, really social. DH is pretty social himself. I'm the introvert in the family. 

Perhaps I'm not being very clear about what I mean. My DD is POPULAR. Like, for real, POPULAR, in a way that I never was or cared to be. People she doesn't know, know her and seek her out to befriend her. Boys on opposing football teams hand her their number in the shaking hands line. Grown men slide into her DMs and attempt to make conversation which she (thanks to good home training) deflects. She's VERY social. I am not worried about her b/c she is bright and her EQ is sky high. That is rewarded in the US. It is not universally acknowledged as a gift and it makes homeschooling significantly more challenging.

Edited April 23, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Not_a_Number]

40 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

Perhaps I'm not being very clear about what I mean. My DD is POPULAR. Like, for real, POPULAR, in a way that I never was or cared to be. People she doesn't know, know her and seek her out to befriend her. Boys on opposing football teams hand her their number in the shaking hands line. Grown men slide into her DMs and attempt to make conversation which she (thanks to good home training) deflects. She's VERY social. I am not worried about her b/c she is bright and her EQ is sky high. That is rewarded in the US. It is not universally acknowledged as a gift and it makes homeschooling significantly more challenging.

Yeah, I knew what you meant. My current guess is that DD5 would be popular if she went to school. She's incredibly emotionally astute and knows exactly the thing to say at all times to get the reaction she wants. It's a real gift. 

She's only 5, obviously, so I don't know what that's going to translate to as she grows up. But so far, she's very different from what DD8 was like, and even more different from what I was like. (DH, on the other hand, was a pretty popular kid. But he was still nerdy, and DD5 is not obviously nerdy.) 

Edited April 23, 2021 by Not_a_Number

[Roadrunner]

1 hour ago, Swimmer1112 said:

Actually my gifted kids were the compliant ones. My dd the “normal” one was the one that truly challenged us. She had a very strong personality, she was very difficult from a young age. I think it has more to do with personality than giftedness. 

Yes!I know exactly whose genes my youngest inherited. My grandma would have been proud. She ran from home and managed to get on a train at the age of three because she was asked to apologize for a rude behavior. 😉

Compliance is a genetic challenge here. 
Thanks god for my DH’s calm genes that manifested in the other kiddo. 

[Not_a_Number]

1 minute ago, Roadrunner said:

Yes!I know exactly whose genes my youngest inherited. My grandma would have been proud. She ran from home and managed to get on a train at the age of three because she was asked to apologize for a rude behavior. 😉

Compliance is a genetic challenge here. 
Thanks god for my DH’s calm genes that manifested in the other kiddo. 

Hah. Maybe it's because neither DH nor I are easygoing, lol. It's like with baby sleep -- we should have known ahead of time we were deeply screwed from the get-go. 

[Sneezyone]

1 minute ago, Roadrunner said:

Yes!I know exactly whose genes my youngest inherited. My grandma would have been proud. She ran from home and managed to get on a train at the age of three because she was asked to apologize for a rude behavior. 😉

Compliance is a genetic challenge here. 
Thanks god for my DH’s calm genes that manifested in the other kiddo. 

This sounds like an amazing story!

[Not_a_Number]

@Sneezyone -- I'm actually pretty worried about how homeschooling is going to go with DD5, since I think she'll crave social interactions as she gets older. We'll see... 

[Sneezyone]

12 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

@Sneezyone -- I'm actually pretty worried about how homeschooling is going to go with DD5, since I think she'll crave social interactions as she gets older. We'll see... 

I had all the best intentions in the world. Even DD acknowledges that the education she got at home was superior to what she received in school through grade 9. None of that matters if your kids need something more/different. I am sure people equate the kind of attention DD receives with something lascivious but her current BF (thanks to COVID is inaccessible) is sitting on six figures (that he legit earned) and a car he can't yet drive. Like I said...not worried. You shouldn't either. I'm not sure I could say the same if we hadn't prioritized discernment and connection.

Edited April 23, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Roadrunner]

7 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

This sounds like an amazing story!

And that was just the beginning. She lived 95 years, most filled with equally amazing stories. 😉
 She inherited the crazy from her dad (and that was an unprecedented level of crazy with drunken duels) and then passed it on to my dad, I hope it skipped me, and now to my youngest. 

[Not_a_Number]

2 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

I had all the best intentions in the world. Even DD acknowledges that the education she got at home was superior to what she received in school through grade 9. None of that matters if your kids need something more/different. I am sure people equate the kind of attention DD receives with something lascivious but her current BF (thanks to COVID is unaccessible) is sitting on six figures (that he legit earned) and a car he can't yet drive. Like I said...not worried. You shouldn't either.

Yeah, I totally get it. We have a relatively robust social scene around here, so I'm hoping we can manage with that for at least a few years -- that, and she loves her big sister, so I hope that'll help socially as well. But if she needs school, we'll send her to school. 

I do think the ability to relate to people in this way is a gift. I find DD5 fascinating, because she's undoubtedly mathematically gifted as well as obviously emotionally gifted, and I find the combination really interesting and unusual. I've known she's emotionally gifted for the last few years, but I hadn't checked her math until this year, and to be honest, I expected her to be closer to average. I was kind of shocked she was not, because I don't associate that social profile with math talent... 

Did you homeschool your DD or did you afterschool her from the start? 

[Sneezyone]

1 minute ago, Not_a_Number said:

Yeah, I totally get it. We have a relatively robust social scene around here, so I'm hoping we can manage with that for at least a few years -- that, and she loves her big sister, so I hope that'll help socially as well. But if she needs school, we'll send her to school. 

I do think the ability to relate to people in this way is a gift. I find DD5 fascinating, because she's undoubtedly mathematically gifted as well as obviously emotionally gifted, and I find the combination really interesting and unusual. I've known she's emotionally gifted for the last few years, but I hadn't checked her math until this year, and to be honest, I expected her to be closer to average. I was kind of shocked she was not, because I don't associate that social profile with math talent... 

Did you homeschool your DD or did you afterschool her from the start? 

We did a combo of after-schooling and homeschooling. She still wants my help with math (and I wish I could) but I've forgotten much of what I learned. DH still uses math and could help but he's not home often enough.

[Not_a_Number]

1 minute ago, Sneezyone said:

We did a combo of after-schooling and homeschooling. She still wants my help with math (and I wish I could) but I've forgotten much of what I learned. DH still uses math and could help but he's not home often enough.

Let me know if you ever need any math troubleshooting 🙂 . I love teaching math, lol. 

[Not_a_Number]

7 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

We did a combo of after-schooling and homeschooling. She still wants my help with math (and I wish I could) but I've forgotten much of what I learned. DH still uses math and could help but he's not home often enough.

What grades did you homeschool her for? Did you have good social groups during the homeschooling phases? 🙂 

I'm actually quite curious about how this looks with a social kid, because I've only done it with DD8, who's not anti-social but is certainly more academically than socially driven. 

ETA: Oh, was it obvious when she was little that she'd be popular? 

Edited April 23, 2021 by Not_a_Number

[Sneezyone]

38 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

Let me know if you ever need any math troubleshooting 🙂 . I love teaching math, lol. 

Ha! I just might.

37 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

What grades did you homeschool her for? Did you have good social groups during the homeschooling phases? 🙂 

I'm actually quite curious about how this looks with a social kid, because I've only done it with DD8, who's not anti-social but is certainly more academically than socially driven. 

ETA: Oh, was it obvious when she was little that she'd be popular? 

We are NOT normal. Gonna say that again. Our challenges are unique b/c we are a military family. Developing local community and maintaining familial/social ties isn't really a thing for us. It's one of those sacrifices we make for being so 'perfect'. LOL. It's not like these moves were planned or anticipated either.

DD was in private school for PK-K

-move 5-

public gr1-1.75

-move 6-

same private school for gr1.75-2.75

-move 7-

homeschool gr2.75-6**

-move 8-

DoDEA schools for gr6-7.75 (I was outvoted)

-move 9-

homeschool gr7.75-8.5

-move 10-

PS ever since.

**From kinder-6th grade she was a competitive gymnast. If we had stayed in Hawaii she probably still would be. It was an amazing, stupendous outlet for her. Her teammates were amazing. She felt better upside down than at any other time and was an anchor for her team. Our move changed that dynamic.

And, no. It was not at all obvious that she'd be popular. She was super sweet, sensitive, kind and endearing but the popularity came later, along with the detractors. They seem to go hand in hand. Her MS friends were very eclectic and her cheer/gym skills brought her into the spotlight. Straddling worlds seems to be the problem.

Edited April 23, 2021 by Sneezyone

[regentrude]

9 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

Most social people aren't also academically oriented. 

But they exist, too. My DD is as both extremely social and extremely academic (as in, tutored calc based engineering physics at local uni at age 15) and school was a failure on both counts. Because being academically interested and gifted means relentless bullying by preteen girls.

If she had had friends in school, we could have tried to after-school for the academics... but school after 4th grade had no redeeming features.

[regentrude]

7 hours ago, Not_a_Number said:

What grades did you homeschool her for? Did you have good social groups during the homeschooling phases? 🙂 

I'm actually quite curious about how this looks with a social kid, because I've only done it with DD8, who's not anti-social but is certainly more academically than socially driven. 

I am not the person to whom you directed the question, but maybe you want to hear from several people. 

I homeschooled 6th through 12th grade.

For us, it was difficult because DD didn't fit in with the local secular hs group where we were the only family with academic standards. (And the huge Christian group was absolutely not going to work for our family)

We tried hard to find social outlets. Children's choir, riding barn. She made friends with much older girls at barn, and then as a teen with college seniors in her DE classes. Never really had a tribe until real college. Small rural town, few opportunities to meet kids like her.

Edited April 23, 2021 by regentrude

[Not_a_Number]

7 minutes ago, regentrude said:

But they exist, too. My DD is as both extremely social and extremely academic (as in, tutored calc based engineering physics at local uni at age 15) and school was a failure on both counts. Because being academically interested and gifted means relentless bullying by preteen girls.

If she had had friends in school, we could have tried to after-school for the academics... but school after 4th grade had no redeeming features.

Yeah, I think DD5 is going to fit this mold. I mean, she's only 5, so who knows, but she's so very emotionally astute. She was the kid in preschool who the teachers would seek out to figure out what was going on with the other kids -- she always knew why other kids were upset and could explain. And she'd try to make them feel better, too. 

Academically, she's reading chapter books at just-turned-5 and doing arithmetic into the 100s, so she's definitely gifted. 

 

3 minutes ago, regentrude said:

For us, it was difficult because DD didn't fit in with the local secular hs group where we were the only family with academic standards. (And the huge Christian group was absolutely not going to work for our family)

We tried hard to find social outlets. Children's choir, riding barn. She made friends with much older girls at barn, and then as a teen with college seniors in her DE classes. Never really had a tribe until real college. Small rural town, few opportunities to meet kids like her.

That's sounds hard. It's been hard enough to find a tribe in NYC 😞 . 

Edited April 23, 2021 by Not_a_Number

[Not_a_Number]

7 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

Ha! I just might.

We are NOT normal. Gonna say that again. Our challenges are unique b/c we are a military family. Developing local community and maintaining familial/social ties isn't really a thing for us. It's one of those sacrifices we make for being so 'perfect'. LOL. It's not like these moves were planned or anticipated either.

DD was in private school for PK-K

-move 5-

public gr1-1.75

-move 6-

same private school for gr1.75-2.75

-move 7-

homeschool gr2.75-6**

-move 8-

DoDEA schools for gr6-7.75 (I was outvoted)

-move 9-

homeschool gr7.75-8.5

-move 10-

PS ever since.

**From kinder-6th grade she was a competitive gymnast. If we had stayed in Hawaii she probably still would be. It was an amazing, stupendous outlet for her. Her teammates were amazing. She felt better upside down than at any other time and was an anchor for her team. Our move changed that dynamic.

And, no. It was not at all obvious that she'd be popular. She was super sweet, sensitive, kind and endearing but the popularity came later, along with the detractors. They seem to go hand in hand. Her MS friends were very eclectic and her cheer/gym skills brought her into the spotlight. Straddling worlds seems to be the problem.

Wow... that's a lot of moves! I knew you guys were a military family, of course, but I didn't realize how many times you had moved! I can imagine it's hard to build a social community with that schedule. 

That being said, we've already moved twice between DD8's kindergarten and her 3rd grade year, lol. We expect to stop moving around so much, but academics aren't the least mobile people, either! 

[Sneezyone]

1 hour ago, regentrude said:

But they exist, too. My DD is as both extremely social and extremely academic (as in, tutored calc based engineering physics at local uni at age 15) and school was a failure on both counts. Because being academically interested and gifted means relentless bullying by preteen girls.

If she had had friends in school, we could have tried to after-school for the academics... but school after 4th grade had no redeeming features.

Most certainly doesn't mean all but bullying was definitely a thing for DD. Not by the kids her age tho. It came from the high school students in her K-12 school. 

[Not_a_Number]

Just now, Sneezyone said:

Most certainly doesn't mean all but bullying was definitely a thing for DD. Not by the kids her age tho. It came from the high school students in her K-12 school. 

Oh, that's terrible... older kids bullied her?? Why would they DO that?? 

Edited April 23, 2021 by Not_a_Number

[Sneezyone]

1 minute ago, Not_a_Number said:

Oh, that's terrible... older kids bullied her?? Why would they DO that?? 

She wasn't sufficiently deferential to the queen bees and confidence in anyone of any age needs to be snuffed out. She learned nothing academic in that year and a half just how to cope with and/or avoid relational aggression. It's not in and of itself a bad skill but certainly a painful one to learn at that age.

[Not_a_Number]

19 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

She wasn't sufficiently deferential to the queen bees and confidence in anyone of any age needs to be snuffed out. She learned nothing academic in that year and a half just how to cope with and/or avoid relational aggression. It's not in and of itself a bad skill but certainly a painful one to learn at that age.

Ugh. That's awful. I'm really sorry she had to go through that. As you say, it's a useful skill... but that's a hard age to learn it. 

[Dmmetler]

Cheer was one of the ways we coped with isolation (until injuries and COVID), as well as lots of groups. School was not going to fly here-the cost would have been way too high academically, but in general, we were able to make it work with interest-based activities. But yes, we looked at school options, including moving to somewhere that HAD specialty gifted schools. But none of them offered the flexibility needed, either.  While L was an extreme, there were other kids in cheer, and I also know of several in gymnastics and serious dance who I would call academic homeschoolers and who were substantially accelerated, and for the most part, they aren't kids who are extremely amazing athletes-rather, they're kids who are very academic but also have high social needs, and training 10-20 hours a week with the SAME group of people met those needs. 

 

[Roadrunner]

Social scene here was fairly easy in early grades - outdoor courses, park dates and sports. It’s nonexistent now. My kids didn’t find anything in common with others either, and we just don’t fit the local social vibe here at all. It’s a real problem here. Now my children found online friends through their interests. It’s not the same, but I am thrilled they are at least talking to others. And we really like the group they found - they discuss literature, play chess... Mine is constantly helping some with schoolwork. I have made peace that my boy won’t have real in person friends until college. He has zero interest in local high school or kids there. 
We shall see if my rebellious kid finds a crowd in school. I hear all is possible. 

I will say the only homeschoolers we know who had very little issue with social aspect in high school were either affiliated with church groups from early on or were part of theatre. 

[Not_a_Number]

7 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

Cheer was one of the ways we coped with isolation (until injuries and COVID), as well as lots of groups. School was not going to fly here-the cost would have been way too high academically, but in general, we were able to make it work with interest-based activities. But yes, we looked at school options, including moving to somewhere that HAD specialty gifted schools. But none of them offered the flexibility needed, either.  While L was an extreme, there were other kids in cheer, and I also know of several in gymnastics and serious dance who I would call academic homeschoolers and who were substantially accelerated, and for the most part, they aren't kids who are extremely amazing athletes-rather, they're kids who are very academic but also have high social needs, and training 10-20 hours a week with the SAME group of people met those needs. 

I think the "same group of people" thing is key. It was pretty easy for us to put together classes so that DD8 saw lots of kids all week, but they were generally not the same kids. I actually volunteered to take one of her good friends to classes so she could see at least one kid she liked more than once or twice a week, and that helped, but it still wasn't really quite enough. 

Weirdly enough, this year has actually been better for that -- I've been running Zoom classes all year, and organizing someone else's Zoom club since January, and the kids have been meeting on their own time... so DD8 actually sees the same group of kids for many hours a week for the first time since she was in kindergarten. Of course, she sees them on Zoom, which isn't optimal, but the consistency is really lovely. 

[Roadrunner]

But the same group of kids might drift away. Some will go back to school and find their own friends. Some will grow up and realize they have nothing in common with your kid. Then your kid gets busily with their own schoolwork and extracurriculars or they do.... I hope your group endures. 

[Not_a_Number]

6 minutes ago, Roadrunner said:

But the same group of kids might drift away. Some will go back to school and find their own friends. Some will grow up and realize they have nothing in common with your kid. Then your kid gets busily with their own schoolwork and extracurriculars or they do.... I hope your group endures. 

I expect to have to make adjustments, to be honest. The kid I used to take to classes (and whose mom also took Miriam to some classes) is moving to Michigan, in fact... we're sad about that. On the other hand, we'd been friends with her and her family for 3 years now, so really you could say we've had a good run. School friends can move away eventually, too! 

And I do think the fact that I've figured out how to do Zoom classes for my kids will help the kids keep in touch. This wasn't really on my radar before, and now it is. 

[Dmmetler]

Honestly, that's why outside of homeschool/school groups are good-sports, dance, drama, youth orchestra, scouting, role playing games,  something. Because those groups don't drift as much as people change schools. Otherwise, there is a BIG surge at 6th grade and one at 9th :).  And yes, it also ends up being the situation that people who were great friends in elementary have nothing in common in middle and high school, so interest based groups is good there-it gives something to talk about. One thing my teen discovered this year is that without the common group, it was really hard to carry on a conversation, even with the same people. 

One problem we had here in the homeschool community, and why we doubled down on cheer at about age 12, was that those who kept homeschooling often outsourced to tutorials or university model schools that met a couple of days a week, and once they had that peer group, that also became the friend group. For my academic kid, that wasn't a good choice-if anything, the tutorials were more age stratified and limited than a school would have been. So, we moved from rec to club cheer and added college classes so that there was a classroom experience and other people to talk about academics with. 

BUt yes, the social needs become much more an issue with teens-both in being more important, and in being hard to meet because many parents feel less capable of managing academics so they send the kids back to school. And teens also need other adult mentors. School isn't the only place to find them, but it takes effort to make those connections outside of a school setting.