Toddler and going to bed

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

Oh a friend shared that her kids fall asleep in minutes everytime she puts on Bob Ross reruns on PBS, lol. It's like magic. For me, that is "How It's Made", that show makes me comatose like nothing else. 

 

My oldest thinks Bob Ross is riveting!  It would have kept him up all night.  He loved Bob!

[DawnM]

12 hours ago, Scarlett said:

I was going to say the same thing about baths.  My son got a bath every single night even if it was not  a long play bath.

i think it will just take time Dawn for him to settle in.  A week is not very long at all. I think it is excellent that he is sleeping hard once he zonks out.  I wouldn’t necessarily stop the naps if he is sleeping a decent amount once he goes down for the night.  
 

And the mattress in your room is a good idea too.  I am so impressed that you and your husband have taken this child.  I don’t think you are as old as me,  but I know you have adult children, so starting all over again is a lot of work.  

 

 

Because I am often exhausted and giving a kid a bath is just one more thing, ya know?

And yeah, a week is not long.  

Court is tomorrow to grant custody.

[Scarlett]

27 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

Because I am often exhausted and giving a kid a bath is just one more thing, ya know?

And yeah, a week is not long.  

Court is tomorrow to grant custody.

Aw.  I know.  But a bath can be a 10 min deal.  It will always help. 

[Ellie]

15 hours ago, DawnM said:

 

He has only been with us a week, so maybe I am just not giving things enough time.

I think that's the biggest thing.

Eventually, as y'all make bedtime more warm and fuzzy (bath, read aloud, tuck into bed, etc.) he'll adjust.

[barnwife]

33 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

Because I am often exhausted and giving a kid a bath is just one more thing, ya know?

While I totally understand this (having felt this way many times myself), if bedtime is really a struggle and baths seem to help, I'd look long and hard at what I could do to make a nightly bath happen. What other parts of your evening could be (at least temporarily) changed to make a bath work? For example, if cooking/cleaning up dinner was easier, would a bath be possible? If so, maybe using a few more convenience foods would help. 

Really though, I think time will help a lot. I hope court tomorrow is short and sweet!

[Terabith]

2 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

Oh a friend shared that her kids fall asleep in minutes everytime she puts on Bob Ross reruns on PBS, lol. It's like magic. For me, that is "How It's Made", that show makes me comatose like nothing else. 

My kids could watch "How It's Made" for days.  Never tried Bob Ross with them.  "How It's Made" was easily their favorite tv show for several years.  

[Liz CA]

5 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

 

Don't be thinking a cheery demeanour is evidence of a *lack* of trauma. I know you're a school counsellor, so I assume you know about trauma, but hoo boy, what they show to the world and what goes on behind the scenes can be verrrry different. To be honest, I'd take complaints at bed time as a positive, since that is clearly not a fawning response.

 

There is truth in that.

Otherwise, I would think this is perfectly normal. Sounds like he comes from a chaotic environment, was just uprooted and placed with people he has never lived with. Another thought on trauma - I know the word itself is becoming fast overused but the type of neglect you described upthread is now empirically considered a form of trauma. It sounds like he had little nurturing, no structure and this by itself is likely very upsetting to a 2 year old. We do tell our clients that their substance abuse is frequently leading to trauma for their children - not necessarily physical trauma but it can come it all kinds of ways.

I would try lots of different soothing methods and techniques, soft music (same music as repetition is comforting at that age), perhaps simple audiobooks (remember Jim Weiss, I take any excuse to buy more of his CDs) rocking, storytelling. He seems to have had so little of this and his little brain and soul are probably waiting for some stability.