help...7th grade writing

[caedmyn]

My 7th grader is a very reluctant writer.  She's been doing writtten narrations (1/week) for 3 years and this year she's using Jump In.  She doesn't like it.  She puts it off and avoids doing it if she possibly can (which is what she did with written narrations also), she wants me to "help her" think of every aspect, and she just does not seem to get it.  Her current assignment, which is broken down into 4 separate tasks divided over 5 days, is to write a 5 paragraph opinion paper. She's got the body done so far, and what she's written isn't an opinion paper at all, and I don't even know how to begin editing it.  She also doesn't have a clue what to write for an introduction and conclusion.  I gave her several suggestions and she still claims she doesn't know what to write.  I'm a naturally good writer myself, and while I can write, and I can edit, I don't want to have to teach every.last.detail of writing papers, which is why I bought this program that isn't working.  Is there a writing program that breaks down every last detail minutely and is written at about a 5th grade level?  I don't know what to do here, but I have 5 other kids under 10 and I just don't have the bandwidth to hold her hand through this.

This is her paper so far...I corrected all the spelling errors but left the grammar and punctuation as she wrote it:

Different types of sickness's that you can get.  Some of them are the cold, stomach bug, and flu.  Something that happens to me is I get a cold/flu.

When you get a cold you can have a headache, sore throat, cough, or stuffed nose.  When you have the stomach bug you can have stomach cramps or vomiting.  With the flu headache and fever.

To get rid of sickness eat lots of garlic.  (It will really help).  Sleep alot and take lots of vitamin C.  Getting shots can also help. 

[Kuovonne]

The assignment sounds too hard for her. It sounds like she has trouble coming up with a single expository paragraph, much less a five paragraph opinion paper.

Jump In didn’t work for my family. 

I suggest you switch to something that provides more work at the paragraph level. Take a look at “Paragraph Writing Made Easy” (the Scholastic book)  or  “The Paragraph Book” series. Both are for a range of students that include middle school students, and both have lots of hand-holding.

[alisoncooks]

My 7th grader is using Essentials in Writing (either level 5 or 6). It does spend the first half of the program on grammar, but the writing portion has been good for my dyslexic/reluctant writer. I think it breaks things down really well (and I like the video aspect - I just am here to help if needed.) 

Last week, the program guided DD through writing a persuasive letter. It was her first formal writing of this kind. Here was the end result (with paragraphs/indenting removed):

Dear Mommy, I was thinking about what kinds of Christmas presents [sister's name] would enjoy the most this year. She might like a new iPod to replace the one she lost in Florida.  I'm sure she'd also appreciate some music to put on her new iPod. Maybe you could get her some CDs you know she likes or an iTunes gift card so she could pick out her own.  These are some of the gifts I think she would be happiest with.  Your daughter, DD

I mean, it's a simple paragraph...but she did it with no complaining (so that's a win!)

[Farrar]

Hm...

Does she understand that her paper isn't offering an opinion at all? She doesn't have an argument at all yet. It's just random information. Not only is the writing not there yet, but she doesn't seem to have understood the basic assignment.

Do you feel this is the best she's capable of? What happens if she writes about something she likes? Or writes in a form that's she's more comfortable with? I mean, thesis based writing is new for most middle schoolers. I wouldn't expect a reluctant writer to be comfortable with it yet. What happens if she summarizes something or just tells what she learns or even tries to write a story or an email to someone? Are her sentences still this choppy? Is her purpose this undefined and meandering then as well?

Seeing this, I think one of three things... one, she doesn't want to do it and is subverting the assignment because she hates it - or maybe because it makes her anxious, she's afraid to put real effort in and try. I get this with my anxious kid sometimes. He's not being lazy or "willful" but he will do a subconsciously poor job on something because if he doesn't put in effort then when he (in his view, inevitably) fails then it doesn't reflect on him because he knows he didn't really try. Twisted, I know. But this mentality trips up a lot of perfectionists and kids with anxiety.

Two, this program is a really poor fit. However it explained things is really not clicking with her on a really fundamental level. In which case, maybe instead of getting things more broken down, she needs them more whole to parts. Just a thought. Some kids need the writing support of every little step. Other kids need to approach it as a whole and go from there - even reluctant writers.

Or, three, she has some sort of language based learning issue. Because with regular instruction and support as a 7th grader, unless there's a real mismatch in how she's learning versus how she's being taught, this is so far off the mark from "persuasive paper" - and there are enough fragment sentences - that I would be left wondering if there's a learning disability.

We liked Twisting Arms for writing a persuasive paper. It was both whole to parts at times but also broke the task down. It's centered around writing a single persuasive essay over the course of about a quarter-half the year, depending on how you stretch it out. If you'd like to look at more whole to parts approaches, Brave Writer does a great job with that.

[Gobblygook]

I’m using Essentials in Writing with my writing-averse 6th grader and appreciate its approach. I think it might be helpful for you, too.

[caedmyn]

27 minutes ago, Farrar said:

Hm...

Does she understand that her paper isn't offering an opinion at all? She doesn't have an argument at all yet. It's just random information. Not only is the writing not there yet, but she doesn't seem to have understood the basic assignment.

Do you feel this is the best she's capable of? What happens if she writes about something she likes? Or writes in a form that's she's more comfortable with? I mean, thesis based writing is new for most middle schoolers. I wouldn't expect a reluctant writer to be comfortable with it yet. What happens if she summarizes something or just tells what she learns or even tries to write a story or an email to someone? Are her sentences still this choppy? Is her purpose this undefined and meandering then as well?

Seeing this, I think one of three things... one, she doesn't want to do it and is subverting the assignment because she hates it - or maybe because it makes her anxious, she's afraid to put real effort in and try. I get this with my anxious kid sometimes. He's not being lazy or "willful" but he will do a subconsciously poor job on something because if he doesn't put in effort then when he (in his view, inevitably) fails then it doesn't reflect on him because he knows he didn't really try. Twisted, I know. But this mentality trips up a lot of perfectionists and kids with anxiety.

Two, this program is a really poor fit. However it explained things is really not clicking with her on a really fundamental level. In which case, maybe instead of getting things more broken down, she needs them more whole to parts. Just a thought. Some kids need the writing support of every little step. Other kids need to approach it as a whole and go from there - even reluctant writers.

Or, three, she has some sort of language based learning issue. Because with regular instruction and support as a 7th grader, unless there's a real mismatch in how she's learning versus how she's being taught, this is so far off the mark from "persuasive paper" - and there are enough fragment sentences - that I would be left wondering if there's a learning disability.

We liked Twisting Arms for writing a persuasive paper. It was both whole to parts at times but also broke the task down. It's centered around writing a single persuasive essay over the course of about a quarter-half the year, depending on how you stretch it out. If you'd like to look at more whole to parts approaches, Brave Writer does a great job with that.

She is probably mildly dyslexic.  She is capable of better writing than that but she's definitely not a great writer.  I normally have her read her sentences out loud to me when we edit and she would catch a lot of the grammatical errors that way.  She does seem to be somewhat anxious at times so that may be a factor.  I would not say she's a perfectionist at all.  She doesn't do a great job of written narrations either but they're better than this paper.  I had her do writing on a subject of her choice once a week last year and she definitely preferred that and did somewhat better at it.

[PeterPan]

You're assuming it's a writing problem when it looks more like a language problem. If you found an SLP who specializes in literacy, they could test her narrative language as well as doing any remaining intervention on her reading.

[8filltheheart]

It looks to me like she lacks basic understanding of what composes a complete thought, a topic sentence, and supporting details. Based on what is posted here, I would back way up and focus on grammar (subject and verb at minimum) and simple sentence and paragraph construction. She does not appear to have mastered the basic skills required to move on to multiple paragraph papers. Once she masters the basics, it is much easier to move forward to multiple paragraph construction vs trying to teach basic skills on top of multiple paragraph construction.