Deece in MN Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Hi, A friend of ours is having a Valentine's swim party at a waterpark tomorrow and invited my dd. The cost is $8. She also does occasional activities with a Catholic hs group and they are having a teen bowling night tomorrow that she invited my ds to; cost $10. This month is our first month with a budget on paper that we are trying very hard to stick to. We allocated $20 for entertainment. My dilema is, do we give this months entertainment fund to the kids so they can go to these outings? Or do we say no to these activities and use the money to do something as a family? I think my dh would like us to do something as a family, though he hasn't come out and said so. We don't want to deny our dc opportunities to do things with others, but on the other hand my dh wanted to use that money for a family bowling night this month. What would you do? Also, my ds would miss the first hour of the bowling because he has Judo. He would only know the 2 boys of the family that invited him and one of them for sure will be leaving early, possibly both. We don't know anyone else in this group and I would feel awkward if we showed up and the boys he knows are not there. Also, I am thinking that if we don't do one, we don't do both so that we can use the funds for a family outing. What would you do? Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 I'd skip both and do something as a family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa at Home Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 The things that come up for the kids to attend are absolutely neverending. If your dh even hints on wanting to do something together, that would be so much more important to me than any of the fly-by activities that will likely come around again. Have fun! :) ~Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 I'd say family time is more important, especially since your DH wants to be part of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisawa Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 choose family first. Family comes first and its in these types of situations you can send a posative message to the kids of what is most important. Just my thought... Lisa~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deece in MN Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 Thank you. I think I just needed someone to say it is ok for us to say no and not feel guilty. I would prefer doing something as a family, so I think we will and we will enjoy it! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 I'd send the kids, to be honest. I know how much it means to my children to be able to do something special with other kids. Social time is very important, IMO, and since you are homeschooling, they already get a lot of family time. Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 where you can bowl on $20! We went right after Christmas b/c someone gave us a gift cert. It was $45 for 5 of us - shoes, bowl 2 games each and then tokens for the game room which we would not have gotten if they weren't included in the family pack. But still, it would have been more than $20. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deece in MN Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 where you can bowl on $20! We went right after Christmas b/c someone gave us a gift cert. It was $45 for 5 of us - shoes, bowl 2 games each and then tokens for the game room which we would not have gotten if they weren't included in the family pack. But still, it would have been more than $20. We have a radio station that does coupon deals. They have one for 1 hour of bowling up to 5 people including shoes for $19. It is not much (I would love to be able to order pizza, get game tokens, etc.), but when you are on a budget you do what you can. We try to have a fun dinner on days when we do this type of activity since we can't eat out or anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. H. Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 especially if I had an inkling that dh wanted to do the family thing with the money. If you could afford it, you could work out a paid chore system that would allow your dc to earn his own money for these events. It would help them learn that money doesn't grow in trees, you have to work for it, and maybe he would be more discerning about which activities are most important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deece in MN Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 Here is the update on what we decided. My dd made dh & I a nice dinner for two because we were not going out for Valentine's, so dh & I had a chance to talk about this. We decided that dd could go to the waterpark if she paid for it (she babysits so has money of her own). As far as the bowling for ds, we decided to not have him go. Partly because of the money, but mainly because as we talked about it I realized that we didn't feel right about the invitation. The Catholic hs group is a closed group. No one from the group invited us (my friend is not a member, but is a friend of someone in the group and they extend her & her family invitations to some of their activities). The more I thought about it the more I didn't feel right about it. Also, since her boys were leaving early I didn't want to show up and no one know who we are and have it be awkward for us or them. Also, ds has a teen book group at the library and then Judo that night. He doesn't like to be overloaded and away from home for extended amounts of time. So, with all of those factors, we decided it would be best to not do the bowling. He was invited to the waterpark, but he doesn't like swimming so he won't be doing that. So, we still have our entertainment fund to do something as a family, dd is going to the waterpark (paying for herself) and ds has his activities that were scheduled previously. I think we are all ok with the outcome. I appreciate the advice you all have given me. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 some friends along....or invite them over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill- OK Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 ...and, do *they* want to go to these things? I'd tend to say 'no' to the thing w/ds, if he can't miss Judo. A previous engagement, especially one that would have him miss an *hour* of the event (where he really wouldn't know anyone), seems to take priority. If my dd really wanted to go to the other thing, I mean, really, *really*...I'd probably lobby for letting her go, and ask dh if we can take what funds are left over (from ds not going to his thing), and do something cheap, as a family. But...this is being colored by my own situation/experience. Projecting my own autobiography onto someone else's picture show, as my dad used to say. ;o) I'm thinking of my oldest two kids (almost 13 and almost 14), who are as good as gold, and don't do much outside with other kids, on a regular basis. So...I like to reward them, when I can. (And I do think it's semi-important to let teens have some social life...ducking tomatoes!) If we're talking about an 8yo that shrugs when you ask her if she wants to go...then I'd not think twice about saying 'No'. JMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 I vote for the kids activities and plan free family outings for the rest of the month. Not spending money does not exclude fun family time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill- OK Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 Sounds like you guys worked it out, just fine. I have my older kids (who have money) pay for a lot of their own stuff, too...amazing how that can put things into perspective, sometimes, LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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